Timestamp: 2nd Spring, 510 AV The convergent paths of his life had left him with nothing but his resolve to change and to find peace within himself once more, casting him back to the wilderness from whence he had come from. With the restless spirits of his past weighing heavily on the back of his fractured mind, it chased him away from the place and the woman he had called his home. Still there was to be no regret for him, for everything happens for a reason, and the reason also happened to be her. The balls of his feet padding the grass and unfrozen brooks that now flowed as freely as Tanroa's endless course, the mighty Akalak's eyes roved across the wilderness, knowing little what kind of fate awaited him in his return to 'normalcy'. For days and nights he had struggled with his reintroduction to the wild; while he used to be adept at hunting and more than fine with eating uncooked meat, domestication had been quick to settle, and he was now starving, both literally and figuratively. The facts of his departure also contributed heavily to the turmoil that he was supposed to vanquish, and as of now, in the second half of his lifelong liaison with misery, it all appeared to have been for naught. The task ahead seemed so daunting, so futile, that despite the resolve that he had formed to hunt down the storms of fate befuddling him, he could only sigh and breathe heavily in his stubborn refusal to go back. How he had had fled away, like a coward he had fled from everything he had worked on, started and nurtured for himself. How he had fled rom Kavala, from Sanctuary, from the sort of peace he knew he wanted and yet needed less than the one he was searching for. For fear of destroying these he had gone out to come to grips with a destiny he fears he might have already left behind. Navis was not the one who had driven him out--nay, for despite his loathing of the quiet that settled into their collective persona in their stay in Sanctuary he had remained fretting but tolerable. And Sorian was so sure that Kavala would have liked to have him around, would have done what she could despite his criminal lack of understanding with her pain. It even seemed that Navis himself had more of a connection to the beloved Konti than he did, and it strained his heart tremendously. He had left a part of him with her, allowing her to hold on to the sacred Lakan he had held onto for all his years in the wilderness. While the gesture's meaning would have been clear to the perceptive Kavala--that he would return one day-- he was quite unsure how she would have reacted to his sudden disappearance. She already knew that he would never have stayed forever, but bravado aside, he knew she wanted him to stay around. And he had made a promise to her; while in a way he never would leave her, her interpretation was all that would have mattered, and it could definitely go for the unpretty one. And Akela, what about that brash and fiery sister of hers? He had said even less to her in goodbye, and in the duration of their acquaintance he had learned to be wary of her unstable wrath. He pondered on what that steel of hers could do, even to a fighter as proficient and powerful as he. Perhaps when he does come back she'd let him have a piece of her mind, and it was a thought he did not relish at all. And yet the greatest of his pains resided within himself, the great albatross that he could not dislodge with understanding and acceptance. The memory of his dark night with Karnelia continues to cast a pall on his sense of morality, and even in Sanctuary, almost every waking dawn was greeted by the imaginary sight of her blood upon his hands. Yes, he sees it all, even now. For now the tormentor within him rested easy and silently, letting him explore their mind without tussling him around and complaining out loud, and he was quite thankful for it. Touching the bark of a massive coniferous tree he paused to inhale a breath of nature's gifts, then turned a look towards the miles that had rolled on by. While his heart yearned for his return, his calling was the force powering his thick, sinewy legs, and so he must continue. He is a titan of gentleness, and he is a tyrant of despair. And such is the crux of his existence. |