[Issues found by Twister] Avii

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Avii [Not Finished]

Postby Avii on April 14th, 2013, 4:52 am

ıllıllı тняεα∂ • ℓιsт ıllıllı


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Warning!! I will be out of country for a few weeks-months for a long vacation. Sorry about this delayed update, but I will be in-active, for I won't have internet often to where I am going. Sorry about that, and I hope to be back soon! Have a good summer and see you all soon!
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Avii
Darkness is Only Dark in Comparison to Light
 
Posts: 40
Words: 19670
Joined roleplay: October 31st, 2012, 10:30 pm
Location: Sunberth's Twisted Alleys
Race: Zith
Character sheet

Avii

Postby Twister on July 23rd, 2013, 12:31 am

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Hello Avii.

I'm Twister, an Assistant Storyteller here on Mizahar. You have been playing in my city and I've noticed a couple of things about your CS. With this intervention, I will give you the tips to pull it back on track so you can continue playing on the site, though you will need to cease all posting with Avii until the intervention is removed.

 
Appearence
You say that your eyes change colour from yellow to red when the "alterate personality" takes hold and Avii instead steps back for Violentia to take hold. This is not possible and you need to remove it. Eyes changing colour is a Vantha-only phenomenon and multiple personalities do not in any way manifest themselves physically. Nor do possessions.
 
Gnosis
You mention the Gnosis "Vexation" in your profile. You cannot start with a Gnosis mark unless you have HD permission, and seeing as you have no Storyteller Secrets thread or a Gnosis mark story posted to your CS, I'm going to assume you have not received permission for one. Please remove the mention of the Gnosis mark from your CS.
 
History
In the history, you mention that the birth of Violentia was very... violent. It led to the deaths of many, and you also mentioned a ton of hunting. You have no skills whatsoever relevant to hunting or any combat skills that would allow you to kill. It'd be advisable that you tone down the violence in your character's background to something more reasonable considering your character's skill levels.


Once you've attended these issues, pitch me a PM and I'll have a look-over and remove the intervention if you have made the appropriate changes.

Love,
Twister
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Twister
Justice is Dead, Faith is Blind
 
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Joined roleplay: November 18th, 2012, 7:01 pm
Location: DS of Sunberth; Wildlands
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