Completed The Auristic Fencer

[Chandray]

Now it was time to advance and thrust. Chandray had trained this and knew how to do it, but she didn’t just jump forward. She wanted to do it with the accuracy and attention she had been told was essential for a good fencer. Now, from the en garde position, she focused on the footwork, which was also an important component in fencing. She advanced with her front toe first, then retreated slightly, picking up her back foot. After this came the lunge, but this time she focused all her attention on doing it as well as she was able. First she thrust her hand with the rapier straight out, then followed it forward, arm before body. She jumped forward with her front knee and locked her back knee, taking care to not overextend it in the lunge. As it was a dummy she fought, the rapier hit it of course, but she could feel that her coordination and the lunge had been better this time. Immediately after the hit, she dropped her back hand and quickly retreated back into en garde stance, the way she would have needed to do in order to defend herself from an opponent striking back at her. The rapier felt perfect in her hand. She knew she would buy it. It would only be self-deception to pretend she hadn’t already decided. And she wasn’t going to try to get a lower price - she didn’t want to complain on the rapier and say it’s wasn’t perfect and all those other things people say when they try to lower the price of something they actually like. To her it was precious. It felt just like she had found a valuable treasure. “It’s flawless. Perfect. I’ll buy it” she said seriously. Haiduk nodded, and granted her a smile. They went over to the counter and he showed her the sheat and weapon belt, both black. “They are included” he said, putting the weapon in the sheat while Chadray took her purse and counted up the 25 golden mizas he had asked for. It felt so incredibly good when she stepped out on the snow street with her new rapier fastened at the belt. It felt like she was ready to take on any challenge that would come her way, whatever it would be. OOCRapier - 25 Gold Mizas

[Gossamer]

Character: Chandray
Experience: Planning +1, Investigation +2, Interrogation +3, Navigation: City +1, Auristics +4, Rapier +5 , Observation +4, Meditation +1
Lore: Self Awareness: The ability to heed other’s advice, Self Awareness: The ability to ask deeper questions. Haiduk: Very knowledgeable Akalak, Rapier: testing out new weapons, Rapier: facing off against a practice dummy, Negotations: Knowing How To Not Look Too Eager, Rapier: The Defensive Positions, Auristics: Using Auristics in Fencing, Aurisitcs: Using Auristics in prepurchase examinations, Rapier: Quarte, Rapier: En Garde

Additional Note: First off, I love your name. Secondly, I love your writing. This thread was a pleasure to read. I liked hearing the backstory in the first post so I didn’t walk in blind as a reader. That was a very nice touch and thank you for that. I also appreciated and wanted to give you a hug on how your aursitics wasn’t perfect but it was ‘foggy’ because it somehow makes your realism as a character bumped up all that much higher. I gave you planning a lot because your PC is a forethinking plotter. And that’s evident in your writing. I mean you didn’t make lists and you didn’t like sit down and plan something out, but constantly through the thread you were planning.. next moves, next turns in a street, next stages of your life. I loved reading about that. I really identified with your PC as a person and that’s rare for me to find here. I hope you post more threads for me to read and grade.

I also helped you out and gave you some lores your PC should have at her rapier level as knowledges.. but that you didn’t have awarded.. some positions, etc. You took them so I’m making the leap your pc knows them.

Now, one word of caution about Auristics. It is not ‘automatic’ you need to concentrate on it. And as you get competent at it, if you don’t describe focusing it then you wont’ be awarded XP. I gave you some slack on this one because you talked about it all the time throughout your thread, but you didn’t go into detail about how you were using it. Making it automatic isn’t fitting because sooner or later you’d be massively overgiving and that would happen at an age well younger than your pc is now when they first stumbled upon auristics. So as far as a critique goes, that’s all I can give you.