Benshira Rewrite

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Benshira Rewrite

Postby Paaie on April 26th, 2018, 1:54 pm

Woops, I must have misread the lore, sorry about that, but I'm glad my ideas still gave you some thoughts.

Dovey wrote:So storm-herders would fall into this strange social territory where they're highly honored and respected, but at the same time they're viewed with a hint of suspicion, as if they might suddenly "go bad".

Glyphs which interacted positively with other forms of magic - like storing a spell for later release - would be taboo. Only totally defensive glyphing would be socially permitted, and other forms would be looked on as a perversion of the art.

Glyphing is perfect, that's a great match! We are definitely on the same page as far as the social acceptability of magic. What if storm herders must also be priests of Yahal, or closely watched by a priest of Yahal, who they must check in with for prayer and meditation?

I LOVE your ideas about a cultural clash between city benshira versus nomadic benshira through lifestyles and views/use of magic/storm herders! It adds a bit of classism without being explicit like the Eypharians. Choosing whether to play a city benshira or desert benshira is a fun choice for players to be able to make, and it would be interesting to watch the societal difference & similarities in upbringing play out in character, as well as how the communities interact and flow together.

Dovey wrote:I do like incorporating sexism of some form into my worldbuilding, because it adds another layer of potential struggle

I agree with you on the gender divide, you're right, it gives the culture some challenges. I do like the way you have divided the gender roles as you have.

Dovey wrote:I am concerned that this would bring them too close to the Drykas again - race has a type of world magic that's special to them and that connects them to the land?
I see what you mean...

When I was thinking about the Benshira I thought about the ways the other desert/wilderness races have something unique to them which helps them survive the harsh environments they live in—Eypharians their arms and ancient economical society, the Chaktawe their water reserves and spirit guides, and the Drykas their webbing and striders—so I feel like the benshira deserve to have a little something as well, to even things out.
Last edited by Paaie on April 26th, 2018, 9:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Benshira Rewrite

Postby Paaie on April 26th, 2018, 9:20 pm

Avoiding magic altogether, another idea I've been sitting on is if we took the intelligence and wisdom that's held in high regard in their females and extended it into tinkerering and gadgeteering territory? Building a city in the middle of the desert would take great ingenuity, I imagine. Going with the "wind herder" theme, I'm thinking wind surfers (sand surfers?) for the desert dwellers and windmills like the Persian Panemone windmills in the city for grinding grain into flour and transporting precious water throughout the city (I understand we can't speculate too much about the city since it's being written up by someone else!).

Sorry, I'm not sure chucking in new ideas is helpful at all at this point, haha.

But I think that's it for ideas from me.

I like what you have, and I think if you decided to scrap any of these ideas and keep the Benshiran as you have written them, the culture you have created is interesting all on its own.

I'm looking forward to seeing how it all goes anyway!
Last edited by Paaie on April 27th, 2018, 9:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Benshira Rewrite

Postby Prophet on April 26th, 2018, 11:52 pm

I've been following this write-up progression and I love the progress and flow of ideas.

One day, I will sit down and be more thorough in my review but I wanted to jump in with some course correction [[GUARDRAIL]]

Avoid putting something like sand sailing vessels in the racial write-up. Something like that would only work in the desert and with Eyktol being closed for the foreseeable future, having something like that in the RACE page would confuse new players more than it would interest them.

"So if I make a Benshira, I get a wind glider?? Coooool!"

It is a VERY cool idea but it's something that should stay in the desert. Other than that- carry on!! This is starting to get some tasty meat on her bones.


FOR EASEMENT OF CONTRIBUTIONS:
Could you include an outline on your first post that gets updated as you make changes? Something that we can track, maybe? XD
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Benshira Rewrite

Postby Paaie on April 27th, 2018, 9:22 am

Yea, that's a good point, Prophet! And maybe steps too closely on the toes of the Svefra too.
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Benshira Rewrite

Postby Dovey on May 10th, 2018, 8:05 pm

Thank you both so much! I've been swamped with finals, but hopefully I'll have more time now to sit down and incorporate some of these new thoughts into the outline. And yes, I'll definitely add a changelog, Prophet - good thought!
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