Sometimes I get the feeling that I was born the wrong sex.

When I say that, I don't mean that I am gay or anything. I'm not. But there are certain things that happen in life and indeed in thread that make me think its true. Growing up, I always wanted to play the hero action figure. I never really wanted to play the petite girl that needed rescuing. I didn't even much like barbie. I loved the boy next door and we spent hours together playing. Our favorite thing was matchbox cars. We had tonka toys... and excavated big sand traps and landscaped whole worlds for our cars. Later when He Man and the Masters of the Universe came out, Sean got the whole entire action figure set. I loved playing HE-Man.. he had the coolest mount... a giant cat. Sean didn't mind letting me play him, because he loved She-Ra and her flying horse. We had epic adventures together, and cried like babies when he moved away when I was in the eighth grade. I met up with him years later, about twenty in fact, and we hugged and cried and were so glad to see each other all over again. Sean had bright blue hair that was died white at the tips, and was wearing a wedding band because he'd just married his life partner Mark. He thanked me for being the cool girl next door that always let him play She-Ra and never questioned it.

In a way, that made me sad.

I don't know how to be a wilting flower. I've never been needy. I'm not really much good at being a girl either. I have a few long flowing skirts in the closet and a couple of peasant blouses I wear with them once in a very long while. But mainly I live in jeans and a T-shirt (sometimes printed sometimes not).... an old worn pair of birks, ropers, or skater shoes. I have one functional set of pumps in the closet, and nice girly clothes that I rarely wear unless I'm going out on the town with Matt. This never really bothers me... not really. But today was rough. Everyone broke down at the yard. I was running around...

[ Continued ]