Brotherly Love (Vanator)

[Bolden Denusk]

He stepped back from Vanator and smiled at his comment.

"Yea, father will be more than a little surprised to find me back--but to be honest, he's been so busy I just literally haven't seen him around. Some things never change huh?"

Bold didn't see Van's expression because he had his back to him. The storm clouds gathering in his brother's gaze were a clear sign of impending trouble. Fortunately-or maybe unfortunately, the younger Denusk had started gathering the tea things, and saw nothing.

He moved to sit down on the furs and grabbed a fresh cup for tea. Bolden motioned for his brother to have a seat. With both cups filled with strong, hot tea, he answered Vanator's question of his absence.

"You know how you and father were giving me the 'don't embarrass the family in public' speech? Well after that, I'd run off to the horses. The herd with the mare that.. that killed mother. I vented my anger on her by yelling my idiot thirteen year old head off, which of course sent the herd stallion to her defense.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up with a..." Bold censored himself quickly from mentioning the bum leg. It would be an inexcusable weakness for a Drykas man and mentioning his head injury was embarrassing enough, ".. a bashed in head with a pretty girl leaning over me. Palomino--she was twelve then--dragged me -all by herself- to the tent pavilion! Her skinny young girl self! Seriously!"

Bold chuckled, still amazed at Laria's strength from the very moment he'd met her. His face turned serious at the next part, not wanting to share the extent of his weakness to anyone--especially the man who'd beat his arse for breakfast lunch and dinner for thirteen years.

"So I'm bleeding like a stuck zibri and had a hoof print on the back of my head. They sent for a quick healer who didn't know his elbow from his nose and mucked up the job. Then Laria got a second healer and he set me up right and tight. But she kept asking me my clan and I just didn't know. I knew only my first name and nothing else."

He bowed his curly head in shame at such a blatant and weak condition. Bold gratefully sipped the strong tea, taking a moment to inhale the smell of it.

"Palomino's father--a lot like Eachann, the Ankal, decided to put me to work with the horses. She's in the Amethyst clan! Their herds of wild horses stretch as far as the sky could reach and beyond!"

Bold was about to continue and he saw his brother look a question at him. Like old habit, he answered the unspoken question Vanator looked at him. Their instinctive closeness remained, and they'd never actually recognized or thought about their silent connection. It was just their way.

"Oh right. I call Laria palomino coz it's the color or her hair--that perfect golden color of fine wine. She saved my life Van. I owe her everything. If it weren't for her not just finding me, but nursing me through, I just simply would've died out there."

He looked down at the cup of tea and it swirled as if to remind him of Palomino's hair as she rode even the wildest horse so fearlessly. Like anything equine was simply a natural extension of her own self. His eyes turned amber with gold flecks and Bolden was lost in the memory as the cup started to tip forward from his hands.

[Vanator]

Vanator sat down across from Bolden, accepting the hot tea with a nod of gratitude. He listened to the younger Denusk explain his absence. It was a remarkable story, to think that one accident had taken Bolden from his family for six years. Even more amazing was that he had somehow been overlooked, surely having been practically under their noses more than once in the past six years. He took a ginger sip of the strong tea, pleased that his brother drank it that way. "So, for almost six years, you have been out there, or around here, not knowing who you were?" The tale was almost fantastic, and for a moment, Vanator questioned its validity, that it was some concocted story to cover a more embarrassing excuse. But Bolden seemed sincere, and regardless the past, he was here. Vanator himself had things in the past that he wished to remain buried to history. Van looked intently upon Bolden. He studied his features, the cut of his jaw, the shape of his eyes, the set of his ears. He saw the resemblance to his father. He believed without the non-customary beard, the younger man would look even more like his father. Long hidden, the truth nudged at him like a pestering whisper. "So, what happened ten days ago that stirred your memory?" Vanator finally asked after a long moment of thought. He was buying time, of a sorts, trying to quell the nagging subject that continued to poke at him, demanding to be dealt with after so long. He is an adult now. He should know.

[Bolden Denusk]

Bolden was about to reply and actually stopped to think first. His eyes turned dark and his face became impassive. Vanator had asked the question in disbelief. He sighed, quietly, just not knowing how to be with his family after so long.

'He doubts my word. No matter how much trust or respect I give him. I was away too long with nothing to be done for it and I've lost my brother. Why should he trust me? We're strangers now.' For a long chime, he thought of seeking out Palomino and just leaving for good. She's the only one who'd ever treated him with mutual respect. 'Not older to younger or male to female. Just equal. How much of my life will I have to sacrifice for a family that doesn't want me? How much should duty cover?' the young Denusk was very pensive.

"Yes Vanator, that's what I said. You can interview the Amethyst clan and Laria Sunstorm to confirm what I told you." Bolden said quietly, looking Vanator directly in the eyes, and keeping his thoughts closely to himself.

He didn't have the energy for anger at his brother any longer. He finally understood what Kavala had meant all those years ago. 'What can't be cured must be endured.' A heavy weight seemed to burden his shoulders rather than the adrenaline of their typical shouting matches.

'Why does he ask the questions if he doesn't believe my answers?'

Bolden set down the tea, losing his taste for anything right now. There was a strange look on Van's face that he'd never seen before. Like it was just idle talk to .. to prepare for..something else? His brother seemed to be stretching the conversation for some unknown reason.

'Most likely he just wants to hurry up and get through the duty of meeting with me before getting back to the people he knows and who knows him. I'm just a stranger now, imposing on them. I don't blame him a bit. We are strangers after all this time.'

"I was getting ground sword lessons from someone. It was unnerving with my patchy memory being mostly from horseback. It was weird because he'd start explaining something and it was like hearing your voice echo over his. Father's face flashing by, or watching you talk to me like I wasn't me. The guy would start talking, come at me with a sword and my mind just kept bringing up you and father so vividly. The more he taught me, the more I remembered. I think because I was so keyed up to focus on his teachings, that my memory re learned how to work again. --You can confirm this with Sigmund Matthial." Bolden concluded quickly before his brother could question his honesty again.

' I'll chew on it later.' he tried to push back the issue for another time.

Bold glanced down at the cup of cold tea, not wanting to see Vanator give that 'you gotta be lying' look again. He topped off his brother's cup and fidgeted with his own. Vanator would believe what he wanted to about Bolden and nothing would change that.

Spending six years with another clan and a girl who trusts and loves you, leaving them and then coming back to strangers, incessant temper and old dusty memories would take a lot of getting used to. A memory of family duty and loyalty had brought him back the moment he'd known. He'd begun having second thoughts.

[Vanator]

Vanator sighed. Six years without remembering, only ten days knowing who he was, and Bolden was again the Bolden he had been when he disappeared. He saw the irk in the younger Denusk's face, the defensiveness of his words. Always defensive around his older brother. "Bold, I do not doubt your words." He wanted to go on, to chastise him for his attitude. But this was a time for healing, for bringing family together. "This...Palomino sounds like quite an impressive young lady." Hearing the events that brought Bolden's memory back, Vanator was moved in a way. It was memories of himself, and his father, that finally began the young man's recovery. Van nodded again as his brother refilled his tea. The simple act stirred the heir's emotions. Bolden was back, and it was good. That did not mean it would not be difficult. The two Denusk's had loved each other, that was obvious to all. But their relationship was always dynamic, as if, at times, they did not know how to relate. That was especially true for Vanator, for he remembered everything. The memories of a fifteen year old boy flashed into Vanator's mind. Memories too of a girl, lovely and young as well, with deep auburn hair and freckles on her tanned nose. Remembrances of two fumbling teens beneath a gnarled tree, of shame and sadness, and of a tearful funeral. Van's eyes softened as he looked again at the prodigal Denusk. It was not easy watching Bolden grow up, knowing what he knew. The older man's hand lifted to rest on his brother's shoulder. "Bolden. Do not misunderstand. I am glad you have returned. You are family, always." Van paused, his eyes searching his brother's, seeing the same gold flecks that adorned his own irises. His gaze dropped and, setting the mug of tea aside, Vanator stood to his feet. "Bolden, there is something you should know. You have gone through enough, you deserve some truth."

[Bolden Denusk]

Bolden raised an eyebrow at Vanator's denial , but he'd seen the expression on his brother's face. The silence would've been a painful one if his brother hadn't mentioned Palomino.

Bold's face lit into a huge grin and his eyes turned more amber and sunny colored. The young Denusk's whole demeanor changed to total enthusiasm. He set down the cup and gestured animatedly with his hands as he talked about his Palomino girl.

"Palomino--well her given name is Laria Sunstorm, but I mean she's got this golden, palomino colored hair, especially when the sun shines on it. I just thought of her as Palomino since the chime we met."

He beamed and his gaze took on a yearning, faraway look. Half a dozen years of heartfelt memories played before his eyes as he talked about his second favorite subject that tied in with his first. Laria and horses.

"Yea my Palomino girl she's my other half. We were so close that her father, Ankal Denar and the Amethyst clan would say we're joined at the hip. I think we spent every minute together waking and sleeping for six straight years. We were never separated until I got my memory back and remembered duty forced me to come hom--" Bold cleared his throat and corrected himself,"until I remembered enough to head home."

As his brother spoke again, the smile left abruptly. When Vanator put his hand on Bolden's shoulder, and spoke enigmatically, he didn't know how to respond. He looked up when his brother stood and the words didn't seem to make any sense. Bold frowned and his eyebrows nearly drew together in a mirror image of Vanator's own signature scowl.

"What truth?"

[Vanator]

A slight smile crossed Vanator's lips and Bolden spoke about the girl. There was no disguising the love the young man possessed for the drykas girl, and his eyes betrayed the longing he already felt in her absence at his side. It must have been difficult to leave her and come home after all that time. Van would breach the subject of Laria Sunstorm later. If indeed these two were in love, the older Denusk would ensure they were able to see each other. Larger and looming in Vanator's mind was the decision to tell Bolden the truth about himself. There was no easy way to say it, and Bolden was not the type to tolerate beating around the bush, nor was Vanator content to do so. "First, I will tell you Bolden, that you are Drykas and Denusk through and through." Surely that statement would make the young man curious, so Vanator did not let it hang between them for long. "The blood of my father Eachann flows in your veins, just as it does mine. But, you are not the son of Ay'vata." Vanator let that one linger, to sink in, it was the first blow, but not the most shocking. "You are full blooded drykas, Bolden. Your father and your mother were both members of the Sapphire Clan." His once hard brown eyes set on Bolden's with an uncharacteristic softness. "Your mother was very young, just fifteen when you were born." A faraway stared glazed over the older man's eyes. "She was beautiful and charming." Then Vanator's visage clouded, a hint of pain at the corners of the eyes that turned again to meet Bolden's. "She died several years after your birth." "Bolden, Eachann Denusk is not your father." The statement came out sort of blunt, but there is no easy way to reveal that kind of truth easily.

[Bolden Denusk]

Vanator was making him more and more uneasy with each statement. There was something cautious in his tone and Bolden didn't trust it one bit. Had he broken some new rule that came about in the six years he'd been gone? Was there a strider problem going on that his brother was reluctant to mention?

'Duh. Of course I'm a Drykas and a Denusk. I breathe air too.' he thought sarcastically. 'What was his petching point?'

When the golden haired Denusk spoke again, Bold inhaled sharply and his eyes darkened to wild honey. Each word hit him like a slap in the face, getting harder with each statement. The dark haired man felt his heartbeat about to crack his ribs in half, pummeling him from the inside as his groin tightened. He'd held his breath for so long, he started seeing spots until Bold finally remembered to exhale.

Spots of hectic color mottled his face and neck and Bolden unknowingly crushed the small tea cup in his large hand. Sudden droplets of blood ran unheeded between his clenched fist and dripped into a macabre crimson pool on the floor beneath. He looked at his...at Vanator with hurt and shame almost bursting from his expression as he eyebrows nearly drew together. His mouth was a grim line that lost any ability to smile.

In the quietest voice Bolden had ever used in his life he asked slowly and deliberately,

"Do you mean to tell me, that after -all this time- I'm nothing more than your dirty, secret bastard...?"

[Vanator]

Vanator saw the revelations he unveiled roll over Bolden, the color running from the younger man's face, his expressive eyes both puzzled and shocked. Van had tried to ease into the full truth, but it was not the best way, not with Bolden. The prodigal Denusk was impatient, and at the first hint of something big, Bold wanted it straight out. The heir had paused only a moment before he was going to tell Bolden, Van having to gather himself to speak it. But the young man had already come to the conclusion, had assumed himself what the punch line was, and he was correct. Vanator understood Bolden's anger and disappointment. All that he knew, the foundation of who he was, had crumbled beneath him. Pain rose again in the older Denusk's heart, watching his son's world collapse before him. "No, Bolden, you are not a dirty secret. You have been raised the son of an Ankal, by a man that was much more fit to be a father than yours was." Van turned away for a moment, his heart already aching for his son's, now pricked by the memory of the boy's mother. "Your mother was beautiful, Bold. And young. We were in love, and that love carried us too far. When we found out she was pregnant, with you, we planned on marrying, but she wanted to wait until you were born." Vanator sighed heavily. "She died shortly after giving birth to you, but the last thing she set her eyes upon was you." Almost absent-minded, Vanator pick up a clean rag and pressed it against Bolden's bleeding hand, indicating the man should hold it in place. "Her family was devastated, and father and Ay'vata agreed that our pavilion should raise you. But I was not yet a man. Father decided to take you as his own. Aunt Myira had recently had the twins, and the sturdy woman fed you at her breast as well." Vanator's brown eyes locked onto the amber eyes of his son, both reflecting gold specks. "I was going to tell you, when you came of age. But you disappeared. I have always loved you Bold, have always been proud of you. Now you know why sometimes I may have been hard on you, it was fatherly instinct."

[Bolden Denusk]

Bolden continued to stare unseeing, everything moving faster than he could understand. The young man sat so very still he could've been a statue. Betrayal, confusion and shame crossed his features and back again, bringing down the corners of his mouth like a replica of the father who stood before him. As if the life were crushed out of him, he finally managed to speak in quiet, broken tones that matched his broken spirit.

"So -Zivatar- is your true Heir and I am your illegitimate bastard that everyone knew about except me. You say I've killed my own true mother, so this 'family curse' was begun by my birth. Everything I was ever told and all the people I -thought- I knew are just a lie and a joke. How could I not see it myself?"

His pitch changed to one of deep self loathing and a myriad of far too many emotions at once. The dark haired man looked down at his hand when Vanator pressed the rag to it. In an almost mechanical gesture, he held the cloth to his hand and turned his gold flecked eyes onto it. Bolden wasn't sure he'd ever be able to look Van in the eyes again.

"A Konti mother could never give birth to me. Of course stupid Bolden would never figure that out on his own, would he? Why have you bothered to call me a Denusk? That name belongs to a child born of marriage, under a Chevas mark, blessed by the Goddess, not some mistake of a bastard."

The curly haired young man clasped the rag tightly into his fist, not realizing he drove the glass shards further and deeper into his hand.

"I'm a petching dumb bastard not to figure this one out on my own huh? I'll bet that makes you -real- proud."

[Vanator]

Vanator's heart plunged into his gut. He had always known this moment would come, when Bolden learned the truth. The truth was, Vanator was only the younger man's father in the most scientific sense. He was raised as his brother, their relationship was of brothers and he was not sure whether they would ever truly be able to be father and son. Time would tell which relationship would suit the Denusks. For now, Van just had to help Bolden through this devastating revelation. "Stop using that word...bastard. You are the son of a Denusk, the blood of the Ankal runs in your veins. These people are not lies." His hand waved towards the tent flap. "They are your family... brother, sister, father, aunt...the titles don't matter. They are family, they love you. Ay'vata was every bit a mother to you, and loved you as her own son, as did father. I am sorry that you have been...deceived. I wish we could have told you years ago, but, we lost you." Vanator began to pace a small path through the tent. "I don't beleive Kavala and Akela know the full truth. They were told Ay'vata found you." The older Denusk paused, his finger raised for a moment to point at the shattered man. "But do not for an instant believe they thought anything less of you than a full brother." "As for the subject of heir...its complicated. In time, that will be worked out." Time...Bolden would need time. The news was overwhelming, the shock sudden, and the man would need time to wrap his head around it.