You Weren't There (Vanator)

[Khiara]

As the man spoke of forgiveness, his features softened even if they still held a manner of authority and scalding, Khiara dissolved into relieved tears. Leaning over she pressed her forehead to his hands as she nodded at his words. Squeezing her eyes shut she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks and with a deep breath she sat up again, swallowing back the worst of her emotions to listen carefully to her husband.

"Yes, of course. I will never ever dishonour this family again, I swear it in Morwen's name. Thank you, Goddess...thankyou." The young woman didn't quite understand what Vanator meant by regaining his honour against Ronan, but right this very second she didn't care. He loved her, he forgave her - and that was what mattered. As he continued, Khiara struggled against the flow of tears that wanted to continue, knowing he was right. His lips pressed against her forehead and then gently to her lips, and with the same gentle touch she returned the kiss. As they parted, the girl looked at their joined hands with golden-violet eyes, brow furrowed.

"I'm frightened, Vanator. There are stories, of women who can bear no children because they were unwed too long. I haven't told anyone...because if I say it, I feel like I could be making legend into reality. Stories are powerful...and I want to..." Stopping to collect herself, the girl continued.

"And I worry, about my mother and my father. They surely expect that I am dead by now, I wouldn't blame them. I just wish I could see them, or send them a message, let them know I'm alive. Something..." Glancing at the fire with brimming eyes, the vantha sighed.

"You are a new father, and a leader here. I didn't want to add to your problems. And being here, around Zivatar and Kashik...Goddess I love them I do...but it makes me realise how empty I feel when your away. I didn't go out seeking...anything. I just went out to get away from, myself. And the rest...you already know." Her tears had eased as she talked, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders. It was silly she hadn't talked to him sooner, but imagined burden she placed on his shoulders with an already heavy load only pushed her away. Turning her gaze back to him, Khiara stroked the back of his hands with her thumbs as her irises settled to a smoky violet streaked lavender.

"You don't deserve such a silly girl as a wife."

[Vanator]

Khiara's submissive apology and ready tears spoke to Vanator of the contriteness in her heart. He no longer doubted the genuineness of her innocence. The vanthan woman was still naive in many ways, and he had yet to see the young woman play the temptress, not intentionally at least. Most likely her open friendliness and ready sympathy was misread by this Ronan. He himself made that mistake with Khiara. The explanation did not, however, remove the guilt the husband laid upon Windsong for his forwardness towards his wife. Ready to put the event behind them, for Khiara's part at least, Vanator listened with intent to the outpouring of the concerns of his young wife's heart. The vanthan was of a more fragile sensibility than his bolder drykas wife, and Vanator had known she needed encouragement and tending. But his growing duties and the arrival of Kashik's baby had distracted him. Often he saw the distant look in Khiara's eyes, sadness reflected in golden irises. He knew she missed home and her family. Seeing her hurt made his heart ache. But the traders he had spoken with said the trip to Avanthal and back would take the better part of a year. With a new son, and his father's health diminishing, the Ankal's son could not leave the pavilion for so long a trip. His hand raised to caress Khiara's silky dark hair. "I know you miss them Khi. I am sorry I cannot leave for that long, nor could I stand to let you go. We will write letters, several. I will work with the traders passing through Endrykas to get word to your family, I will even send some to Kavala in Riverfall, in case she comes across someone going that way." Van's strong hands took her slight ones in a gentle hold. "As for babies. Your time will come. Some may see you as frail, but you are not. Your people are hearty and strong, and you will bear my children my love, I know it." In his heart, Vanator believed that, but not without bouts of doubt. Tamar had been with him for five years, and never bore him a child. It was considered a result of the curse, the same curse some said led to the death of Ay'vata and Tamar. The husband then wrapped his arms around the young woman and hugged her firmly.

[Khiara]

Khiara knew that it would be impossible for Vanator to travel home with her, and to make the trip alone was more painful than she could bear. It was lonely out there, even with Vsenri. On her travels towards Endrykas she had been numb, heart stricken. To go back again and move further and further away from the very reason she still breathed was...a nightmare born to life.

"Letters...I didn't even think of that." The vantha said with a sudden realisation. Avanthal was so far away, the concept of writing a letter home hadn't even dawned on the girl. It would take a long time for it to arrive - almost as long as it would to just go there - but it would at least be something. At least then her mother and father would know, she was alive...and happy. Smiling, she allowed her lavender eyes to look into the rich gold-flecked depths of his own. Her heart skipped as he spoke about children and his confidence in her ability to conceive, and with relief she allowed herself to melt into his embrace, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his torso. She could hear his heartbeat and the breath in his lungs. Warmth radiated from the man as though Syna saw fit to burst from his body, like the sun on a clear spring day.

Ignoring her doubts and fears, the young brunette allowed her relief to spread through her. They were not fighting any more. He loved her still, and she him. There was nothing else, at that moment, that mattered more.