[Flashback] Sorrow Sewn in Silk (Poison)

[Venidus Larkspur]

Enninia’s voice warmed Venidus’s darker mood, and he began to feel a second wind. The Vantha was easy to talk to. Her innocence and optimism were refreshing. Venidus tended to be quite bitter and Enninia’s demeanor had a way of sweetening the way the world seemed. The Symenestra gazed at the ceiling while attempting to craft a thoughtful answer. His words were laden with the relief Enninia instilled, “I do live by that. Unfortunately, I am often not wise enough to tell what can be changed, but when I push and push with no result, I learn to let go... I consider myself fairly stubborn though and letting go is excruciating at times.” Yet I still can’t let go of Kalinor and Sanairas... There is nothing I can do for the surrogates, my people, or my family while I remain here. I am sure that my people’s path can be changed. I am sure salvation and answers reside on the surface, and perhaps some issues that seem unavoidable can be solved from a different angle... “One must try every angle before accepting great evil though.” He muttered. In a way, Venidus was hypocritical and faithful at the same time. He accepted that the issues he had with the Symenestra were unchangeable as long as he stayed in Kalinor, but he still believed that he could find a way to solve so many issues outside of the caves. Do I still pray to Viratas? Sure I do when I’m with my family, but I often find my intentions going to other gods. Sometimes ones whose names I don’t even know. Another revelation whilst talking to Enninia did not entire surprise him anymore. His speaking was relaxed but he couldn’t hide some concern, “I-I certainly worship Viratas... I mean that’s what Symenestra do!” He laughed but it sounded odd. “I have been known to appreciate other gods though.” “A few of my surrogate friends had been fond of Priskil and I must admit that I’ve grown found of her as well. I send a great many prayers her way. Others sound great too. I am sure this Morwen is a wonderful deity if she has followers as kind and gentle as you, Enninia,” Venidus was so quiet that Enninia and his sister had to move in a little bit to hear him. Venidus’s odd religious preferences were not something that his Web would like public. He looked back at the attendant just to make sure she wasn’t listening. “As for the priests of Viratas, I have not had the pleasure of talking to one in a great while. I tend to be outspoken and alternative on issues that they see set in stone. That’s another issue with the priests and fringe groups! The Viratassa, our holy book, is full of words, but words can easily be interpreted to fit one’s views. The vague nature of text tends to do that.” He pulled a small book from his pocket and handed it to Enninia. “This is a text I translated into Common in order to practice the language. I have it memorized more or less and the book is cheap. It would please me a great deal if you would read it. I fear texts of Morwen are a bit scarce in Kalinor, but I am sure we can trade notes next time I visit.” Venidus shook his head when Sanairas suggested a break. His exhaustion was very much overcome. They would finish with Enninia soon and move on to the violent Surrogate. He had covered all of his usual bases and a few more with Enninia. Unless she had any more issues, the content Vantha could use a bit of time to rest and read.

[Poison]

Enninia couldn’t help but notice his concern. „You shouldn’t only worship Viratas because that’s what Symenestra do“, she gently told him. She lowered her voice a bit. „You should worship him because you care about him, because the things that are in the Viratassa matter to you, because he protects your race, not just because everybody around you prays to him. I pray to Priskil as well sometimes, although Morwen will always be my queen“, she whispered. „Viratas is the god of blood. He may occasionally keep blood from being spilled, but Priskil means hope. We all need a little hope every now and then, don’t you think?“

„Maybe you should speak with a priest sometimes“, she suggested as he admitted that he had not talked to one in a great while. „They can’t all be the same. Surely there are a few more progressive ones that would be willing to listen to you. I agree as far as books are concerned though. My people, the Vantha, are very fond of stories, and there are those that will interpret the old stories to suit their purpose, as if those that originally wrote them were thinking about them, about people that weren’t even alive when the stories were written.“

She looked a little annoyed now, but that look disappeared as Venidus handed the book to her. „Is it a text about your people or about Viratas?“ she asked and leafed through it. „I would love to read it. If you ever want to hear about Morwen, I could write some things down for you. It would keep me occupied.“

Sanairas had listened to the whole exchange. The mention of Priskil had definitely caught her attention. Maybe she should pray to Priskil in addition to Viratas. Maybe she would have a little hope then. Maybe her madness would go away if she only prayed hard enough.

[Venidus Larkspur]

Venidus nodded in agreement with all of Enninia’s points. Hope was a very good and healthy thing. He should also talk to a priest sometime, but he was still skeptical as to what results it may yield. The Larkspur Web would probably not be too fond of it either. They liked to keep their less favorable side hidden behind a thick, silken veil of lies and misinformation. Viratas’s priests were highly respected and influential in Kalinor. Having even one of them scorn Venidus would surely be another grievous blow the family’s reputation. The room felt like it had shrunk drastically since the conversation began. The talk of Morwen and Priskil felt somewhat explicit and the attendant seemed inches away despite the spatial reality. He glanced back at the attendant again to make certain that the room was the same size as when they had entered. With an inaudible sigh of relief, he turned back to Enninia and spoke, “It seems that people will everywhere find old stories and texts a convenient way to further their cause. As for the Viratassa, it is of my people and Viratas both.” He paused for a moment and though of how to describe it best though the subject was simple enough. “The story of the Symenestra is the story of Viratas and the opposite is true. This is appropriate because Viratas is a god of connection if nothing else. The Symenestra and Viratas are intertwined as is their stories. You learn of both when you learn of one. It is the way of things.” Venidus couldn’t help but to grin at Enninia’s offer to write about Morwen for him. It was not that he found the offer humorous, but Enninia’s kindness and innocence brought a certain joy to the usually sour Venidus. “I would also love read whatever you write about Morwen, but perhaps I could come here and you could tell me the stories instead. Vani is a beautiful language and I’m sure your accent would bring the best out of the tales. It would also be fun to learn a few words in the language and I am sure the Vani words for some things are much more interesting then their common counterparts.” Symenos was also renowned for its beauty. Well, some found it beautiful. Others found it strangely unnerving. Elegant was perhaps the best words for it. It was a dangerous language though. It’s gentle flow had been the bane of many free women who are now surrogates. He editorialized his thoughts and put them into a more appropriate subject, “Symenos is also supposed to be beautiful. It sounds normal to me though. I find Common to be a more appropriate language. With Symenos, it seems that there is always danger lurking within. A spider in a silk package.”

[Poison]

Of course the room was still the same size. At least neither the attendant nor Enninia acted as if anything had changed. And Sanairas was still the same as before as well, trying to focus on the conversation, trying to remember every little bit that the young surrogate had said. Maybe she would feel normal if she just ignored the war inside her head long enough. If you pretended that certain things didn’t exist, did they go away? Could you hypnotize yourself, cure your own madness? As far as she was concerned, it was worth a try.

„I’d be glad if you could come here again“, Enninia said to him. She cast a glance at the attendant, wondering if she’d be okay with it as well. None of the other surrogates regularly received visitors outside of the Web that had brought them here. „I’ve enjoyed talking to you so far. I could certainly tell you the stories of my people. It would be good if somebody in this city learned them. I don’t want them to become forgotten. But I’m not sure how good a teacher I am.“ She blushed. „I’ve never tried teaching somebody my language. I wouldn’t even know where to start.“

„Maybe we could do a trade of sorts“, she suggested. „You could speak of Kalinor and the Symenestra to me and teach me more of your language, and I’ll talk to you about my people. It would be good to hear the point of view of another Symenestra. As for a spider in a silk package, isn’t that what you are? Isn’t that what both of you are?“ She looked at Venidus and Sanairas. „In my opinion it describes your race perfectly.“

[Venidus Larkspur]

Venidus felt relieved that he had brought Enninia some semblance of happiness or gladness. He gave a fang-filled smiled and scratched his nose due to embarrassment. Getting gratitude from the surrogates was always sort of a strange feeling that he didn’t quite know how to process. He was a Symenestra and Symenestra were the reason they were there. He felt partially responsible for their internment, so getting thanked for relieving some of its pain, boredom, or loneliness felt a bit odd. Venidus gave a small chuckle. Enninia was so humble and her self-doubt made her seem even more pure. She had no malice, no arrogance, and no anger. It was truly a magnificent sight to behold. “I think spreading your stories would be a truly magnificent gift. Perhaps when the Symenestra see the value of other people and cultures... the Harvests will end, and if they don’t listen and change, I can tell the stories to other surrogates to enrich their lives before birth.” He wondered how difficult a language was to learn. Common and Symenos had come pretty naturally and easily, but a third may be too much for him to grasp. “Well, it’s fine if I don’t learn Vani. I probably wouldn’t be able to grasp the language anyways, but I am sure I could learn a few phrases at least,” he said lightheartedly. “Yes yes yes. A trade would be great. Although I would like to see it as an exchange of gifts,” he quipped and grinned. “Yes, Symenestra are spiders in silk packages just as Symenos is. Everything is intertwined and related really. The trick with Symenestra is learning what kind of spider the silk veils. There are poisonous spiders hidden in the folds of Kalinor, but I feel like Sanairas and I are more like... those small brown spiders that no one should be really afraid of. Sorry if that offends you, sister.”

[Poison]

„It would be good if your people saw the value of other races and other cultures“, Enninia agreed. „The surface world has so much to offer. But if the Harvest ended, wouldn’t they die? You depend on women like me. We ensure your continued existence. Wouldn’t it make you sad if there are no more Symenestra?“ She asked the question very quietly, and then she wondered if she should be sad as well, because she would have to give her life for a Symenestra’s baby. For a moment she felt like a martyr. But then again, didn’t risk every woman that gave birth death and hadn’t she worried about being barren only a moment ago?

„Oh, I’m sure that you would be able to grasp the language“, Enninia said. „You seem like a very intelligent man. I was just doubting my own qualities as a teacher. It’s just not something I’ve ever tried before.“

„Small brown spiders?“ she asked and pretended to take a closer look at Venidus and Sanairas. The corners of her mouth twitched a little as if she found it amusing. „You don’t look much like small brown spiders. Do you want to tell me that you aren’t venomous?“

Sanairas didn’t seem particularly happy about being compared to a small brown spider. As she heard her brother’s words, she made a face and shook her head. „Are we really that harmless, brother?“ she asked him, and then she lowered her voice a bit and whispered, „I sometimes saw small spiders in that other place. They crawled across my skin and crept into my mouth, my nose and my ears. They wanted to kill me from inside.“ She looked directly into his eyes for a moment, and then she shivered, as if she were suddenly cold.

[Venidus Larkspur]

“If the Harvest ended, perhaps the Symenestra would be more inclined to find an alternative. I believe the answer is out there, but the Harvest works quite well so why would we need an alternative? Well, moral reasons push me to try to find one, but most of my people don’t have that moral drive,” Venidus said. He added something that touched another issue he had, “Technically, we Symenestra could breed with our own and keep the population even. Everyone seems so keen on expanding the population though. I mean, Kalinor itself has countless vacant houses in preparation for a growing population. There would be a romantic flare if our population couldn’t grow. A race destined to a static population number may lead to an interesting psychology!” Venidus bowed his head and clapped his hands together at the compliment and Enninia’s humbleness. “You are too kind and too humble. Your words flatter me, dearest Enninia. I feel like I’ve learned so much about you and myself from this conversation that I have no doubt something as trivial as language would be easily taught by one such as yourself,” he said kindly, lightheartedly, and quite truthfully. She is such a nice girl. I hope to the gods that her web realizes how special she is. Venidus had half-forgotten that she could be barren. The unusually pleased Venidus forgot the darker side to her story, perhaps purposefully. “Oh, perhaps we are venomous,” he responded. The symenestra smiled as he ran his tongue over his pearly fangs. Venidus continued with a tone of buoyancy, “Maybe we are venomous,” he gave a glance over to Sanairas, “but our, or maybe just my, fangs are clipped. I would like to think we are just too gentle to use them against the innocent. Maybe I just tell people I am not venomous so the name Venidus the Venomous doesn’t catch on. How ridiculous would that be?” Venidus looked over at Sanairas who shivered. He was worried for his sister. Her comment and physical reaction were signs of slipping. He reached over and took her nearest hand. It didn’t feel cold at all. It actually felt a bit warm, almost feverish. She must be having a hard time holding on. I would hate for little Enninia to be witness to my sister’s inevitable transformation. Sanairas is as delicate as Enninia really... He tried to sound strong despite his inner terror, “Sanairas, that other place isn’t real. The spiders can’t hurt you. You are the goddess of your own mind. Are you going there now? Are you slipping?” Enninia would probably be very confused by the whole ordeal, but Venidus didn’t have the mind to explain it to her. Her understanding was the least important thing at the moment. Venidus gripped Sanairas’s hand firmly but with love.

[Poison]

„What kind of alternative is there though?“ Enninia wanted to know. „How can you stop something that kills people?“ If there were an alternative to the Harvest, wouldn’t the Symenestra have found it by now, even if some of them lacked a certain moral drive? Centuries had passed since the Valterrian, but there didn’t seem anything that could counter the poison. There was only divine intervention, but their god didn’t seem to have listened.

„You are wrong brother“, Sanairas said as Venidus claimed that they could breed with their own and keep the population even. Her voice was clear, cold and firm for a moment. „We cannot, and the vacant houses aren’t waiting for an expanding population. Kalinor used to be much bigger. Those houses were all inhabitated. We are dying, despite the Harvest. There is nothing romantic about it, and I don’t care about an interesting psychology.“

„I worry about the spiders ...“ she whispered, all traces of the strong, confident Sanairas gone again.

Enninia didn’t say anything to Sanairas‘ outburst. She just sat there, looking sad. As she heard the name „Venidus, the Venomous“ she laughed a little, but it didn’t sound convincing. Besides, she had the feeling that there was something wrong with Sanairas. The Symenestra woman didn’t seem to feel particularly well.

„Am I?“ Sanairas asked and held onto Venidus‘ hand as if it was her anchor, the thing that kept her in the real world. „A goddess? I’m the opposite of a goddess, brother. A goddess could make this go away, but I can’t. A goddess would never be trapped inside her own mind. How do you know that the other place isn’t real? How do you know that this world is real? How do you know that anything is real?“

[Venidus Larkspur]

“There are certainly no alternatives to be found here in Kalinor. I plan on leaving for the surface one day in search for one...” Venidus said while drumming his fingers on his leg. They haven’t found an answer yet, but they are not I. I will succeed where they haven’t. I will bring a new age to my people. He was growing a bit irritated. Irritated, perhaps unfairly, with everyone. Irritated with himself most of all though... Irritated that he could not help Enninia, that he could not help any of the surrogates, that he could not help his sister... Venidus felt feverishly warm with rage. Sanairas seemed to be in a particularly dour mood that wasn’t really helping his. Sometimes he felt like his sister was the only one he could relate with, but there were many times where even that wasn’t the case. He clenched his fists. The room’s pleasant odor and warmth made him wish he could drift away. Venidus could almost feel his conscious parting from his body, but alas, he could do no such thing. He was still stuck with two women dying in different ways. Enninia was on the road of physical death. Sanairas was heading towards a mental demise. Venidus was beginning to prefer speaking with Enninia than his sister, but he would never ignore the tortured soul. “Sister, there is always hope. If the world recovered from the Valterrian... If the Symenestra survived its destruction... I am sure we are capable of overcoming this. We are a strong and great people. I doubt we will die out without significant resistance.” “Sanairas, I know that his place is real. You know this place is real. This was here before the other place... The memories of us as children predate the dark place by years. This is real. Trust my Sanairas... You’ve always been able to trust me,” he said. They’d better leave soon. At this rate, Sanairas wasn’t going to last much longer it would seem. Venidus gripped his sister’s hand even more tightly. He hoped that his physical presence could somehow offer her the proof she needed of reality. Ever paranoid, he glanced back at the attendant. Everything was well on that front despite everything else being so grim. Venidus felt ill and tried to shift in his sit in order to find some way of sitting that would settle his unease. He thought about offering Enninia an explanation, but hopefully she would pick up on the broad facts. If she really needed to know, she would ask. “Sanairas, stay strong. The day won’t be much longer. I know that you can hold on and be the woman you were destined to be.” “I apologize, Enninia. Things are a bit more complex than they appear in Web Larkspur,” he tried to give an apologetic smile, but it was more like a sad grimace. He wasn’t in the mood for explaining everything, and how could he with Sanairas right there? I don’t think I have the guts to explain the fall of Sanairas Larkspur in her presence... I don’t think I ever will.

[Poison]

„Five hundred years have passed since the Valterrian“, Sanairas replied. „And we didn’t survive. The people that called themselves Symenestra before the catastrophe were completely different. They didn’t kill their women. They didn’t live in a cave. They lived in the trees, in a completely different part of the world. If we are so strong, why have the priests not have found an answer yet? Why does Viratas not have mercy on us?“ She stopped and rubbed her eyes. She was in an increasingly bad mood, maybe because she felt the madness trying to take a hold of her again. She feared the other place. She didn’t want to go back there!

„How can you tell that this place is real?“ She lowered her voice as she asked this, as if she were afraid of an unknown, invisible enemy spying on their conversation. „Maybe somebody placed all those memories into you. Maybe nothing of this really happened. Maybe we are all just trapped in the other place together, trying in vain to escape, you, father, mother and poor little Enninia here. Maybe this world was only created a moment ago. Maybe all the worlds are one, and death is waiting for us in each and every one of them.“

„I trust you“, she whispered and gripped his hand as tightly as she could. „I want to trust you, but I’m not sure what kind of woman I was destined to be. Maybe I was always supposed to go mad rather than become a great mage.“

Enninia nodded as Venidus apologized to her. „Your sister is very sick, isn’t she?“ she asked. „I will pray to my gods every day that she gets better again. Nobody deserves to be that sick.“ She was full of compassion.

The attendant on the other hand looked slightly alarmed. Was it better to intervene or suggest that they leave soon?