[Aspen/Renaria's Scrapbook] Frozen Wonderland

[Aspen]

Well this is kind of an apology.
I know I've been awful at posting recently. Getting sorted for Uni takes up a lot more time that I thought it would.
I'm out pretty much every day either buying stuff or seeing people who I wont see again till the New Year.
By the time I have an hour or two in the evenings, I'm either really tired, or I just cannot write anything that makes sense. Or both.
So.. yeah I'm sorry. I know some of you are waiting on me to reply to you or grade/mod your thread. I will do it. I promise. I just need to find the right time to sit down and write. Which I haven't yet.
Just, please don't send me pm's to remind me that you're waiting on me. I know you are, and unless you want a short, useless reply you might have to wait a little longer. It's not the end of the world.
This applies to both this mod account and my pc's...

[Aspen]

Okay so… I wrote this out 2 days ago along with the little scrap I posted then. I can’t remember why I didn’t post this with it, but I’ve decided to post it now. I just feel really guilty for being inactive recently and hopefully this helps to explain why. I have an anxiety disorder. Well, not really a specific one. I’ve been told it’s a mixture of panic disorder, agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder (agoraphobia is anxiety about being somewhere where escape is hard or where help will be unavailable). It’s usually only the social anxiety that affects me day-to-day, and even then not that much. It’s not noticeable to anyone but me; the most someone will see are my hands shaking. Or if it’s a bad day then I get a bit twitchy. That’s it. I have only ever had a full-on panic attack when the agoraphobia is triggered, which thankfully isn’t very often. The last time was when I was on a tube train in London with some friends. I never used to have it, and I wish I didn’t have it. I an pinpoint the exact trigger of it too, which was seeing my friend get hit by a car when I was 15 (she’s fine). College really helped me because I had to talk to people I didn’t know right from the off, and it sort of calmed down a bit. After a term or two I noticed that I could speak to people I didn’t know and not feel like I was going to panic. Recently though, the stress of moving to University has made things worse. My friend even commented on it the other day when we were out because my hands were shaking really visibly and I kept looking at the doors of every shop we were in. It doesn’t sound like much but even just the feeling that I might have a panic attack is horrible. My hands are even shaking while I type this out which I don’t usually get. At the moment I have to go out pretty much every day since there’s still a lot to buy and people I need to see. I’m hoping that once I’m at Uni and settled then things will calm down and I hope it will help me like College did. Till then, my activity on here will still be limited, but I’m trying to get replies to people. I have some drafts on my laptop that I need to finish. So... I hope that at least a few of you can understand why I’m not around so much at the moment. I’m trying, I really am. It’s just incredibly hard to concentrate enough to get into the mindset to type for my pc’s right now. So, I am sorry that I’m keeping people waiting, and I promise that you’ll get something from me soon. I just need to try and deal with this first.

[Silvy]

*hugs snuggles and offers chocolate* I understand hon, just take a moment for you time. <3

[Aspen]

Right, well I moved in to Uni yesterday.
It's all really weird at the moment, I have a feeling it'll take me a little while to get used to things. Especially since my hosuemates had already been here for 3 weeks and know each other and most of the other flats already :3
I'll be around in PMs and occasionally chat, but I think it might be a little while till I pick up with posting again.
And I need to learn how to cook...

Ah anyway, I am here, just not in posts!

[Kendall Saarinen]

Welcome back Emma! I hope things keep improving I cannot wait until you are back for good but for now just focus on getting comfortable.

[Taln]

*flails* We missed you!!!! <3

[Fallacy]

Aspen welcome back! Im so glad that youre all moved in I hope you have such a great time at uni and have lots of good things to tell us about. I hope you think its worth the money living there

As you already know a good way to save money is to learn to cook. You can cook for an entire week, put it all in the fridge, and have an entire weeks worth of food ready to eat. All you need to do is heat it up If you're just learning to cook I suggest getting one of those simple cook books, you know something like 5 ingredient meals or something like that. They are easy to follow and dont cost a lot to make, perfect for the college life style. Listen to me lol its like Ive been there. No, I dont have any experience. Just telling you what I would do, because I obsessed about this when I thought I was going to another state for college.

Take care

[Aspen]

Thanks guys (:
Still not completely back, and feeling so guilty about it!
I'm sort of pretty much settled in now, but there are still things I'm figuring out, (I only just found the laundrette today!)
And I'm trying to get used to being on my own and being around... mess *shudders*
My flatmates are never in. Seriously, I've seen one of them only once for about a minute. They pretty much cook, eat in their rooms and then go out. Often together, and I get back to an empty house. It's depressing. When I do see one of them they tell me what they're about to go do and then leave. I haven't ever gotten an invitation yet. And they leave the kitchen in a mess.
I'm not a tidy person, but I am a clean person. And the dirty pots and pans and plates on the counters, and in the sink... it makes me shudder. And it makes me not want to cook because everything is dirty. I find it odd since they're all girls...
I came across one of the girls in the kitchen yesterday and we talked about stuff for a bit, and I mentioned how I hate mess in an offhand way. She smiled and said I must hate the kitchen and stuff and I just smiled and shrugged. I think it sort of worked, since the hob and table were clear the next time I went down, so I hope it carries on!
I feel like a grumpy old woman haha. It's weird since they're all younger then me by a couple of years.

Anyways, ramble over. I have some bits on my computer that I'm slowly working through with regards to behind-the-scenes Lhavit work. So I should get some done soon.

[Aspen]

Right, well here goes.

In the next couple of weeks I should be making a full (or almost full) return.
Things are improving at Uni each week, so if it carries on, I'll be happy enough, sane enough and whatnot to get on with things here.

Only thing is, I won't be returning on all my pc's.
I'll be starting with Aspen obviously, since my mod account is the most important.
The one pc I will definitely be picking back up is Laria, and there's a small chance I might take Amarhyl on again.
But I won't be picking Renaria, Akari or Lakara back up for a while. So if you have any threads with any of them feel free to close and hand them in.

[Kendall Saarinen]

Welcome back Emma! I'm so happy things are getting more smooth for you I'm really happy you are coming back. We all missed you so much. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you.