Early Fall 511 AV “Mama wait!” Karis ran, but no matter how hard she ran, she couldn't catch up to her mother, who was only walking, her back tight...stiff. Karis could see the lean sculpted muscles bunch under her the sun-browned skin that stretched across her mother's back. Faster Karis ran, faster the flat soles of her sandals smacked against the stones of the courtyard. The white mist, tinged gray made it's way, curling and swirling around the base of her mother's booted feet. “No, no don't go Mama. Please!” She began to plead. The lump had already began to form in the pit of her stomach, a lump that grew until it made it's way up her throat until it seemed to stop all air, all sound. She couldn't even run any longer—only stand and watch her mother disappear. “Mama please, I'll do anything!” But, it was too late. No sound could get past the lump in her throat, and her mother was gone into the mist. “Mama!” She screamed, no sound escaping her, her throat feeling as though it would burst from the effort. “Mama!” Karis flung forward, sitting straight up in her cot. Even with the chill to the early morning air, she could feel the sweat pooling in her neck, and armpits. Flinging off the blanket, she padded naked and barefoot to the table and a pitcher of water sitting there. She poured herself a glass, savoring it as, warm as it was, it eased her throat, dry from the nightmare and sore from her soundless screaming. Not wanting to go back to sleep and needing time to thing, she grabbed a drying sheet and her soap and made her way to the tisuma baths. Maybe a warm soak would get her some time to think. There were only a few others around, and for this she was glad, she really did want to spend some time soaking in the hot waters. Unwrapping the sheet, she eased her way into the baths. Taking her time so that her body adjusted to the heat, she allowed herself to submerge until only her head was visible, and that just barely. Resting so that a natural ledge supported her weight, she signaled that she wanted no company simply by closing her eyes. With a slow sigh, she released some of the tension that had built up inside her since waking. Tonight was the third night she had had that nightmare about her mother. Well, the third night in the past eight days. It was always the same too, the mist taking her mother. Her promise. The silent scream. The feeling of the lump in her stomach that just grew and grew. If she wanted to be honest with herself, she felt that lump often when she thought of her parents. Since that terrible night three years ago, right before she'd turned fifteen, she'd been such a stubborn and headstrong Yasi, so sure of herself; when she had defied her parents' wishes about giving up her gnosis mark and training in hunting, bow, martial arts so that she stood a better chance at becoming an Endal-- a rider, like they were. But how could she? She loved being a healer. Loved everything about it. She hated hurting anything. She simply said, “No.” Her parents turned their back on her. She was no longer their child, unless she came to her senses. But, there was no time for that; they were both killed two seasons later. Since July Karis has been having the same dream like last night, though it's either her mother or father. Only now, it's more frequent. Lifting a hand from the water, she began to worry at her thumbnail. What do I do? She wondered to herself? Are they telling me that I was wrong? Should I have tried to train to be a rider? No! Don't be crazy. You can't train to be a rider. No one can! She scoffed at herself. Besides, you are a healer and healers do not kill. Well, as much as one can train. She rolled her eyes, arguing with herself. Anyway, you've never tried to kill. How do you know you can't? Maybe it's just a matter of won't. I've never thought about it that way.Her eyebrows flew up at the thought, though a queasy feeling invaded her tummy as well. I don't want to not be able to heal. The idea of losing her gnosis mark and making the goddess angry made her chest ache. But, you can at least find out. You don't actually have to kill anything, just see if you can. The other side of her continued to argue. Can you keep having these dreams and keep wondering? No. And as suddenly as her argument with herself began, it was over. She sat there for a few more minutes her mind whirling. “What can I do, what, what?” She mumbled. Then she had it. Herbs. There were still quite a few in the meadow to be harvested. Also, she needed some dyes and there were some plants that were in final bloom right about now. She had only to talk to Aidara and see if she could perhaps have the time to go. While there, she could steal some time away to practice the bow. Now that she had a plan, she was anxious to put it into action. Grabbing her soap from its resting place, she gave herself a vigorous wash, beginning with her hair. Wrapping her bathing towel around herself, she made her way quickly back to her room to dress. |