Nuits rarely talk, so that when they do, most people are either flabbergasted or appalled. Some find wisdom in their words, for their thoughts have been carefully rearranged over time, they who have more than one hundred years to live. Unlike Torc and the others who have spoken in support of the half-Isur, Jilitse did not bear visible emotions - her voice carried no passion, yet she spoke with conviction. She let the attention fall on her when she spoke, and focused her static gaze at Torc, and at Torc only.
"Perhaps," she spoke, "I have not made myself clear. There is no contention with your desire to help the God Aquiras. That is not where my hesitation lie. In fact, those who agree with you now will have to eventually think about this later on." She sighed, for show.
"My point is, do you already have a plan on how to go about this?"
She was getting better and better at playing rhetoric. "Or do you come here to ask for help, and expect us to follow you." Leadership was always a question. Perhaps it was best that Jilitse looked at things as if they always had a pecking order. The Order of Radiance was a flat organization at best. "Why don't we give it a try? Give us one ingredient, and tell us how you plan on obtaining it and how we are supposed to help. Have you figured it out, do you know what to do, or will you have us help you in every step, every ingredient, every process?" It was obvious that Torc need not answer. Jilitse hinted at the fact that the Order might end up errand boys and girls to Torc's quest, and that was unfair, no matter if the heart was for Aquiras, because at the end of it all, the heart was a display of devotion to Cheva. They'd die not for Aquiras, but for Torc's selfish quest. Pulsers never see things that way, unafraid to admit their selfishness - those who do, do it for lip service. Torc could disguise his aspirations as self-sacrifice, yet it was he who would greatly benefit at the end.
"See, planning and method aside, you have not spoken of any strategy." Her voice was calm, collected, monotonous - it had a matter-of-factly tone to it. "Everybody," she stretched out one hand and waved it at the room. "would probably like to hear what each of our part in this task will be. I should know that I do not speak for myself when I say that everyone in this room marked by the Goddess is deserving of her full confidence and trust. Everyone in this room would be willing to help, of course. Anyone here who doesn't want Aquiras revived?" She was satisfied enough to hear murmurs of agreement. Everyone in this room needs to know what the heart is all about, is what she thought. She eventually spilled it out. "But what do you mean when you say that we should protect you? Are you saying it outright that our heads might roll off for, as you have said so yourself, your lost cause? Do you mean to say we shield you from harm, or die in your stead?" She leaned forward a little, "Have you truly weighed the consequences of your undertaking? Do you mean us to man the fort in case Sagallius and his followers attack?" Are we to be cannon fodder, Torc Ironwood? On top of that, making Torc's quest a priority would entail neglect in duties. Now what was the consequence of that?
Jilitse found Torc naïve, his words nothing but pep talk and words of encouragement. He came forward with an idea in mind, romanticized it in front of Priskil's followers. His words made Jilitse cringe. 'Priskil's world', he said. 'I do not own the world', she could imagine Priskil say. Does he hear himself speak of things as if success was surely at the palm of his hand? That wasn't hope, Jilitse assessed. That was pride. Self-confidence. Perhaps, too much of it. Let's see how much of that translates into action, she thought, as a matter of fact, he might be withholding information because he didn't have a plan at all - stalling was the best way to pretend you have a strategy that "you don't want other people to know". She lifted a finger and tapped her lips. Hum hum. If she had her pipe, she'd be smoking a lot of concentric circles right now. She wanted to be there the moment Torc is caught empty handed, "I don't know where to start, how to begin." She could hear him say. The man had said a lot of half truths. Jil slowly registered a smug look on her face. Wasn't it just a few moments ago, Torc vehemently denied the fact that he was the reason this meeting was called?
Torc was the most curious of all the people she had come across with. His faith in his own self was something else. It was very different from the way self-assured mad wizards she was accustomed to carried themselves. His relationship with his deity was something she would want to study, analyze. And then she thought of Stitch and the kids at the orphanage - all of them had their minds suffer and souls broken because of Drainira. Or rather, because of herself - didn't she bring Marie Suzanne inside the Orphanage, which Drainira personally collected? How far along in the quest before Torc meets Drainira's henchmen, she wondered, and how many fighters will the Counting Doll send this time around? When it happens, how many will be in the line of fire: how many members of the Order, how many innocents? When it came right down to business the Sahovan Nuit wanted to hear a detailed strategy. She didn't want the incident at the Orphanage to happen again. She thoughtfully placed a hand just under her ribs. She could still feel the sword of cheating under her skin. In her mind she could see the room full of swords controlled by strings. Each one of them pointed at everybody's necks, Priskil's included.
She shook her head at Xalet's words. She didn't bother to address his words, for he was only among the crowd, and at the moment only TOrc's words mattered. Still, she was disappointed in the akalak. Life, even for an undead like her, she would never consider a gamble. Drainira measured things by the numbers, and it was not good practice to count on her statistical miscalculations. Oh, if only these puny mortals knew what lay before them.
And then a whisper, to herself, almost quiet, and in her native tongue. "Dira, please," like she always prayed, "not today. Not until I have fulfilled my promises to Zarik Mashaen." She laced her fingers on top of each other, and nestled them under her chin.
Had Torc really though about the consequences of his request; were pulsers short sighted like that? She reminded herself that people might need more time for excitement before concern and reality could hit them with a brick at the face. Jil tore her eyes away from Torc, she felt compelled to see - and hear, if possible - Dina's take on things.