It Is The Summer Of My Smiles (Seodai)

[Syllke Skyglow]

Fall 30, 511 A.V. Syllke scrunched forward on his belly, until he could peek over the grassy edge of the low cliff. Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked back over his shoulder at Seodai, who was similarly on his stomach and crawling forward to join him. “We lucked out. They’re here.” He said, his voice low but tinged with excitement and satisfaction. “Look.” His head swiveled around as he looked over the edge and down to the shelf of rocks about ten meters below them. Even as he did so, yet another harbor seal pulled out of the water which rocked back and forth beneath them, to slither onto the rocks warmed by the autumn sun. There were six now – a small family group maybe. One huge bull lay on its back, its belly exposed to the warming rays. Around him lay three females, less than half his size, and two pups, their darker adult fur finally displacing their brownish-gray baby fuzz. Syllke smiled at Seodai. “Well, it took three times – but finally you get to see them. I’m glad – they might not be back again – they’ll be heading north soon.”

[Seodai]

Seodai, who wasn't incredibly fond of heights, started further back to do the belly crawl to the edge. It made him feel a little less woozy to look over, knowing that Syllke was beside of him. Not that the skinny Vantha would likely have much luck saving him if he fell, but still. He felt just a little bit safer, and so he peered down at the sight Syllke had been trying to share with him for a few weeks now. It was sweet. That was his first perception of it. Sweet. In the weeks that had followed his first encounter with the energetic artist, Seodai had found himself the object of the Vantha's attention somewhat frequently. For food, sometimes. Other times just to talk. It took a while before the rough edge of Seo's antisocialism to soften, but Syllke was either patient or oblivious to it in the blinding life that exuded from him. It was a process but, eventually, Seodai even ventured off the farm. For a drink, or a meal, or strange adventures like this. His gradual absences were always accounted for in his work - he made up for it and then some, and Uncle Theo seemed pleased that Seodai had found something, or someone, to draw him out of his self-imposed exile. This all, of course, did not even touch upon the issue of Lysander. "He's so fat," Seo commented, his gaze upon the largest. "Can you imagine?" Both of them were twigs in comparison, even if their lean bodies were corded with muscle. Syllke made Seodai feel younger. Lysander made him feel older. It all left him feeling confused. But today, with the wind on his face and the warmth of Syna brightening this autumnal day, he tried to be neither. He wasn't really sure who Seo was, sometimes, and laying on his belly on the edge of a cliff so he could stare down at seals somehow helped him begin to sort that.

[Syllke Skyglow]

“Gigantic.” He replied, wiggling forward more, to get a better look, the top part of his body from the chest up now precariously sticking out into empty space. “It’s all fat. Blubber. To keep them warm in the water.” He looked back at Seodai. “If I threw you in, you’d probably freeze before you drowned.” He gave a good natured poke to his friend’s ribs through the thin material of his shirt. “It’s hard to believe someone who grows as much delicious food as you do is so skinny.” Syllke was still keeping his voice down, just over a whisper. His face tilted back to look down at their quarry once more. “I don’t see the white one yet. Maybe its mother has taken it out hunting.” That had been the primary purpose of their stealthy visit. Two weeks ago, Syllke had spotted a very rare white seal – an albino, though that word would have meant nothing to the Vantha. The pup had blue eyes, though, and Syllke had immediately known it was a ghost spirit. The Vantha believed such rare creatures were the trapped spirits of those who had drowned while hunting the seas for whales, seals and walrus. Such animals were sacred, and to kill one meant a lifetime of bad luck. It was said that sometimes, if a pretty girl were to be on the beach alone, a ghost spirit might come to her, leaving the water and his seal skin behind, and sometimes leave her pregnant with a child who would be a changeling – something like a kelvic, able to move between seal and man with ease. When such a child, always male, reached the age of walking, though, the ghost father would come for him and take him off into the sea foam, and the mother would cry her heart out for love of both father and son. So it was not a good thing for the girl. So, it was with a feeling of some excitement that Syllke watched the waters off shore carefully. He wasn’t sure if Seodai was quite as into this venture as he was. It had taken some scrambling to get down the cliff face to their vantage point, and Syllke had noted that Seodai was being fairly careful of himself. When they had first met, Syllke had had a hard time reconciling the hard working young man with his somewhat guarded care of his body. Seodai didn’t seem like the kind of boy who would be so wary of injury. But one evening, as Syllke himself nursed a nice little gash he had received from a stone chisel, Seodai had shyly spoken of his strange condition. Things fell into place, then. And since that time, Syllke had, in an unstated and hopefully subtle way, tried to be more conscious of the risk he might put Seodai in, with their occasional rambles. He knew that Seodai knew that he was doing this, though neither ever stated the obvious. That Seodai did not pose any really heated objections caused Syllke to believe that he was OK with it. It was in no way like Syllke being hovering or patronizing or overly solicitous. He just tried to use his common sense and tried not to place Seodai in jeopardy. OK, today might be an exception to that. But even so, the climb down, and the one back up in a bit, wasn’t really dangerous, if one was careful, and had a friend along, just to make sure. With sharp eyes accustomed to an acute observation and processing of his surroundings, Syllke saw the ripple that might have looked like any other, out on the water. But he knew it was another seal, or two. His fingers went to Seodai’s thin, hard shoulder. “There! Look!” He pointed carefully at the ripples in the swell, and soon enough, a female hauled out on to the rock, and right behind her came her offspring, a dingy yellowish-cream color, its eyes even from this distance, an odd, pale, watery color, compared to the others. “Make a wish.” Syllke said merrily. “They bring good luck.”

[Seodai]

Broadcasting his skittish limitations was certainly not something Seodai did, but being around him long enough one could certainly glean that something was amiss. It had only been a matter of time before Syllke, too, would notice. And he had. And the awkwardness had somehow been glossed over, so that Seodai didn't feel too weird about the Vantha artist who had become something of a point of distraction to him of late. In fact, Syllke had become a bit more thoughtful with the expeditions he suggested and life sort of just went on. Weird, that. "Syllke.... you're going to fall," Seodai complained, his voice taking on something of a panicked whine. "Syllke, please..." he said again, his hand reaching out to grip at the bony hip now on level with his eyes. The woolen shirt Syllke wore had inched up so that it was bare skin his fingers brushed, clenching with almost panic at the leather of Syllke's belt. "Scoot. Back." Seo grumbled, to no avail. Before he could fuss anymore, the creature they'd been searching for finally made an appearance, and he leaned up on his elbows ever so slightly to peer down. "Oh, how sad..." It was Seo's first thought. Not that it was special or magical or a ghost spirit, but that it was different, a truth he found innately difficult. As for wishes? He knew just what to ask for.

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke looked back over his shoulder as he felt the brush of Seodai’s fingers on his hip. He smiled as Seo tugged at his belt. “It’s alright.” He whispered, reassuringly. His head turned back to look down the cliff and he was amused that his friend kept a firm grip on him. It was a given, of course, that Seodai had been a bit more sheltered than the adventurous Vantha. Though from what little Seodai had spoken of his childhood, before living with his uncle, his father had been adamant that his boy would lead a ‘normal’ life. So in their venturing, Syllke had taken the lead, usually, and he had already gotten used to mostly ignoring Seodai’s hesitant approach to new situations. He wasn’t out to really push Seodai – not to the point of being uncomfortable. But short of real danger, Syllke didn’t let Seodai’s caution keep them tied to the fire pit behind the house on Theo’s farm. It was a nice enough place to wind up at, at the end of a day of exploring. And they had certainly spent some time there, just talking – sometimes just sitting in a companionable, comfortable silence. They weren’t always going somewhere and doing something. Syllke, however, was a born fidgetter. Too much down time made him antsy, and he would frequently have some idea that he wanted to explore. He would often invite Seodai to come too, as he greatly enjoyed the older boy’s company. Syllke found his presence stimulating, for Seodai and he almost never saw things in the same light. It wasn’t that their relationship was contentious – far from it. It was more that Seodai’s typically sparse commentary – on what they were doing, on their surroundings, on life itself – always made Syllke think. The artist wasn’t really so accustomed to doing that – thinking. He was much more used to approaching life on a more visceral level – with his senses and feelings. So Seodai’s observations often took him by surprise, which he found quite entertaining, and often enlightening. The fact that Seo was so beautiful, so fluid in form and movement, was just an added bonus to having him along. Syllke had already almost filled a pad with quick sketches of Seo, executed in brief, bold lines full of motion and energy. Everywhere they went, at some point Syllke would say, “Sit here,” or “Stand like that, right there.” Out would come the pad and pencil from the satchel he always carried. Three or four minutes was all it would take. As Syllke worked on his carving, grabbing odd moments here and there, he would refer to those sketches and his lips would curve into that ubiquitous smile, recalling the time and place of the pose. With every memory, Syllke was carving Seo into his heart as much as his mind and into the stone he worked with his hands He realized this vaguely, perhaps on a more subliminal level, but took it as just a natural progression – an artist falling in love with his subject, his inspiration, that which he had the capacity to recreate in his own vision. When the two seals appeared and hauled out, Syllke was a bit surprised, and pleased, that Seo was willing at least to pop his head up a tiny bit – enough to get a glimpse at least, of the pup. Syllke frowned slightly at Seo’s wistful exclamation. Scooting backwards a bit, so his face was more on a level with his friend’s, propping his head up on his hand, his elbow digging into the dirt and decomposing leaf litter beneath them, he asked, “Why sad?” Once again, Seodai’s take on things seemed to have no nexus with the way Syllke took in his world.

[Seodai]

For a moment Seodai was fixed upon the scene, the wildly different calf amongst the 'normal' animals. He didn't answer the curious question intoned by his companion, nor did he move away. He simply stared until, at last, he exhaled heavily and scooched away from the edge of the cliff. When he felt safe again, he sat up. He was dirty from the little adventure, but the hands that lifted did not seem annoyed as he set about dusting himself off. He was as much one with the dirt as he was with the precious little leaves he nursed to health every day. He loved the outside world in a way that some people might find astonishing. "It's different, Syllke," Seo said by way of explanation. "It doesn't fit in. We might see it's difference as novelty, but I guarantee you that if those other calves can talk, they spend most of their days taunting the one who doesn't look like them." There was a bit too much experience in Seo's tone, though he clearly didn't want to elaborate further. Instead he cleaned himself up as much as possible and set to retying one of his boots. After a moment of silence he seemed to rethink his comment, and glanced up to add on... "Hey.. it was really cool," Seo said, his eyes wide in that sincere way of his. He hated the notion of hurting Syllke, that much had made itself apparent quicky enough. He couldn't leave a disagreeing statement standing alone. Not without smoothing it over. "I liked it. Thanks for working so hard to show me. I just feel bad for him, that's all."

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke listened to Seo’s explanation, hearing the sadness in his friend’s voice. Seo’s childhood wasn’t quite an open book to the Vantha, but he could read between the lines somewhat. He understood. Having to be so careful of himself – it would certainly have put a damper on Seo’s interactions with other kids. He looked at his friend’s face, seeing the dip of his head as he turned to tie his boot. When Seodai looked back at him, Syllke smiled, a small, gentle smile. He rose from his recumbent position to sit cross legged before Seodai. Reaching for a bit of leaf litter stuck in the collar of Seo's shirt, Syllke let his fingers linger for a moment. Then lightly he ran them under the curve of Seo’s jaw, until they reached the underside of his chin. “You always surprise me – did you know that?” He asked, giving Seodai a thoughtful look, his eyes flashing with undertones of violet. “You’re very special, Seo.” His thumb brushed over the juncture of jaw and neck, before he let his hand drop. “Very unique. It’s why I like to hang out with you.” Syllke grinned. “That and the fact that you’re a good sport, no matter where I drag you.” He leaned back on his elbows, feeling the warm earth under him. He let his head drop back, squinting up at the blue vault of the heavens overhead. But after a moment, he raised his head to look at his friend again. “Though I sometimes wonder why you do it.” Syllke tilted his head a bit, as he looked at Seo. “You would tell me, right? If you didn’t want to?” His leg was stretched out alongside of Seodai’s, and he bumped his knee against Seo’s hip as he gave him a lop sided grin, as if he wanted to tease the truth out of him. Abruptly, Syllke rose, almost knocking his forehead against Seo’s. His eyes were fixed on something behind Seo’s shoulder, and his finger went to his lips, in a hushing sign. Silently, Syllke turned Seo’s head about so he too could see what Syllke had just caught a glimpse of.

[Seodai]

For every sketch that resided in Syllke's pad, there were touches that were left in Seodai's memory. Simple things. Turning this here, that there. The point being, of course, that Syllke touching him was no longer a strange sort of alarming. Seodai didn't recoil when Syllke complimented him so gently, stroked the soft skin below his ear, smiled at him so, fixing him with those amazing eyes. He did laugh, however, when the focus shifted and Syllke was teasing him again. Relieved to be talking about something less directly himself, he nodded. "Yes. I would tell you." Before the conversation could evolve naturally, Syllke was first in his face, and then shushing his puzzled queries with fingers to lips. With a furrowed brow Seodai allowed his gaze to be directed, back over his own shoulder. The jutting piece of land they'd chosen to edge out upon was somewhat hidden behind a family of trees, a panhandle of sorts that wrapped back towards land without ever touching it. Part of the reason it was so frightening, with the drops on both sides only feet from them. It was also, unintentionally so, somewhat secluded. With a sense of awkward wonder and amusement, Seodai realized that he and Syllke were not the only ones seeking out this very piece of land. Theirs had been playful, friendly adventure. This? Was something different. Two lovers, both young men with fresh faces and giddy smiles, were holding hands. Absolutely blind to the fact that they were no longer alone, they had stopped at the beginning of the outcropping, where the last tree stood. There they embraced, one falling back into the bark covered trunk, while the other trapped him there. They were speaking, Seodai could hear their voices, but he could not make out the words that were swallowed up in hungry mouths. The worst (or best?) of it was, of course, that Seodai and Syllke had seen them before. Here a literal meeting was inevitable, awkwardness waiting to descend. Before he and Syllke had come upon the pair at much the same occupation as they walked along the piles of rubble where, hopefully, a new road would begin to extend. With much more open space then, he and Syllke had simply exchanged silent laughter and slinked away, giving them their privacy. Here, they wouldn't be able to manage as simply. "Dear gods," he breathed into Syllke's ear, which was a breath from his lips. "They're starving for one another," he said, with a shy grin and a bit of color to his cheeks.

[Syllke Skyglow]

Syllke felt the warmth of Seo’s breath on his ear, knowing that if he turned his head, their lips would be almost touching. He had let his arm drop so that it crossed over Seodai’s chest, lightly pressed against it, as his hand now rested on the ground beside Seo’s far hip. They had been physically close on a number of occasions, for whatever reasons necessitated it. But as Syllke’s eyes were locked on the two lovers, now entwined in a writhing embrace, he was more acutely aware of Seo than he had ever been – and that was surprising. Given his natural penchant for observation, the young artist was generally very much aware of whoever he was around. With Seodai, particularly so, as he was in the process of recreating the boy in stone. But this moment – this was different. Though Syllke was well aware that he found Seo attractive, on multiple levels, until this moment, watching the other two boys who had no reserve, no constraint about their own display of mutual affection, or desire, he hadn’t quite come to the place where he would accept that he was really, quite enamored of his friend, in more than a friendly way. Or, perhaps, in addition to their friendship. With Seo’s lips one tilt of his head away, Syllke felt a warm rush washing over him, and his mind seemed to buzz slightly while a hundred tiny fish flopped about in his stomach. The kicker though, for Syllke, was Seo himself. Syllke was a pretty free flowing person, approaching life with enthusiasm, but not taking things too seriously. He knew Seodai was deeper – and that also made the boy more difficult to read. Seo was more reserved, more private, more introverted. If Syllke turned his head and brushed his lips against his friend’s, as he was now very much wanting to do, he could easily see Seo jerking back in alarm. They hadn’t discussed love or sex very much, in the course of their wanderings. But what little had been said, led Syllke to believe that Seo was fairly naïve when it come to all that. He was a farm boy, of course. So the mechanics would be familiar – at least if you were talking about cows or sheep. Syllke was far from experienced himself – his casual encounters with girls or other boys had been experimental and typically exploratory in nature. But what he did know now made him want that much more to feel such sensations with Seo. The question was – would Seo want it as well? Syllke was not shy – not at all. But neither did he care to risk their friendship by freaking Seo out. He turned his head a fraction of an inch, his eyes sliding to look into Seodai’s. “I wonder what it feels like? To want someone that badly? To kiss – like that?”

[Seodai]

Seodai was flushed a brilliant shade of pink, and he knew he should look away. Right away, too. He had no business observing this, even if the rest of Denval was rather open and free with their sexuality. He wasn't, and such close proximity with his artist at a moment like this was just awkward for the young farmer who did not really understand why he wasn't out whoring around like the rest of the guys his age. He was hardly opposed to sex, and he had all of the desire of a young man, but he couldn't shake the ridiculous notion that it needed to matter. Syllke complicated matters with his questioning, because Seo knew. He knew exactly what it was like to want someone that badly, to want to kiss someone like that. The mere thought of it, paired with the visual stimulation, was enough to bring Seodai's body to life. Lysander. The fallen angel he could never seem to pin down, like a wraith floating in and out of his life at the whim of something he couldn't control. They had only ever done that in his dreams, but simply breathing the same air as the beautiful man caused every cell in Seodai's being to come alive, to yearn for that intimacy with a force that was overpowering. Lysander commanded much of his waking thought, and a great deal of his dreams. Seodai could remember the way those beautiful lips had felt pressed against his skin, and he shivered at the memory, heat coiling straight to his center. "Ahh," he breathed in a tight exhale, a tense sound. He glanced away from the two, finally, cheeks still burning. "Like drowning," he said, his voice a bit rougher around the edges than Syllke had likely heard it. Colored with desire, with something base and sexual. "I think it's like drowning. In heat, in fire."