Cachet's Badass of the Month

[Cachet]

Well here it is a thread where I will feature one badass every month or so. Maybe more often if I feel like it or get an overwhelming amount of submissions for one person. You may ask yourself "What defines a badass?" or "Do I qualify?" well my friends the wait for a thread that features Mizahar badasses is finally here. So let's get this thread of badassery on line and answer a few questions. But let me get one important notice out there first. This thread is meant to be both comical and serious at the same time. Take it for what it is. Satire meant to flatter the person being featured. What defines a badass? You will know when you see it. Trust me. That is the only guideline I can give for that. Do I qualify? No. If you are asking about yourself or any of your PC's the answer is no. A player only qualifies to be mentioned here and featured if nominated by someone else. But how do I nominate? Easy message me with the reasons why a character qualifies and support for your claim. What do I need as support? Threads, chat log stuff anything solid. Ok I gave Cachet the info now what? Now I will make my decision. Your person may not get featured this go around. But know this if they are badass enough they will be featured. Now enough of that who is first you ask? Well it seemed pretty obvious to me. The very first featured badass of the month... There is a variety of reasons this badass is featured first on this thread. If you really have to ask the below reasons for his badassery follows. IF you don't have to ask then you know what a badass Tarot really is. 1) The creation of thread summaries. He didn't just code this by hand for the entire site, troubleshoot it, test it and get it to work. All this by itself is indeed impressive he did it ON HIS BIRTHDAY! That's right the one day a year you are supposed to sit around and do nothing Tarot decided that he would show his almost manic devotion to the site and do something for all of us. Instead of sitting around and watching some badass movie while eating cake with a combat knife he would give us something awesome. 2) Ever wonder Who kicks the site around and makes it behave like it needs to? Well tada! Tarot does. If he chooses he can beat the site around like a rented mule and make it behave ANY WAY he decides to. That is indeed why he is the webmaster for the site. I can only imagine what would happen if he just vanished...complete chaos. And I have to say we should all respect him for not going AWAL and destroying the place. Because he could indeed drop a digital nukefest on the place like some twisted digital Cold War era Mutually Assured Destruction plan gone horribly wrong (or right). 3) His office Ok if it wasn't enough that he can do what he wants, and does so for the good and enjoyment of all of us he has several other qualities that make his badassery simply tip off scale. I'm going to quote directly from Tarot's office for this. I have heard you are a cruel mod who will torture PCs senseless. Should I really want to be modded by you? I don't just torture them, I make them enjoy it! Fiction revolves around conflict; without deep struggle there is no story. I am not a cruel mod, however I will touch your PC where it hurts, and I don't mean that physically. Being a true hero is a tough job. Heroes have to make great personal sacrifices and typically lead harsh lives only lit up by the deep conviction they are doing the right thing. Being a villain is a also a tough job, because most people will hate you and you will miss out on so much life has to offer. Even those who dwell in the middle have weaknesses, and plenty of forces in the world that would exploit them to their advantage. I will challenge your PC on every moral and ethical ground. If they have a code or a philosophy, it will be tested for real. Yes you read that correctly. Tarot will indeed devise some horrible mouse trap from hell for your character if you request a thread from him. But the mousetrap is indeed engineered specifically to "challenge your PC on every moral and ethical ground" Meaning Tarot is not only a badass, but his threads (traps) turn out badasses. SO basically each and every thread Tarot mods would make Charles Darwin scream like a giddy schoolgirl in excitement. Because it is indeed survival of the fittest. If you request a thread by Tarot you better have the balls and conviction to stand up for what you wrote down on your character sheet. Because Tarot WILL engineer up an elaborate trap that will test EVERYTHING your character is. But it doesn't end there. Oh no how could it? 4) Despite this Tarot can't seem to conjure up mouse traps fast enough for the number of victims he has waiting to be thrown through. That's right despite the fact that he his machines are weapons of character destruction his threads remain sold out. Meaning he has people waiting in line to be tortured. Why you ask? Because Tarot is a badass. He is a gifted writer and plotter and I swear if he really wanted to he and he alone could take over the entire world with a well developed plot and plan of action. The very same method he uses to devise the ornate and wonderful threads that he mods for people. And despite this PC's keep coming back for more like crazed drug addicts. 5) He is who he is Like nearly every great badass in history who has a foundation or award named after them there is indeed a Nobel Prize of Mizahar out there. It is called the "Being Tarot Award". There is only one catch. Only one person has it. And that mysterious individual is the very badass being featured here and now. Unlike the Nobel Prize this award isn't handed out to just anyone. No and the guidelines for receiving this award are cryptic at best; and the only hint comes from Tarot himself. How do I get the Being Tarot Award? You have to beat Mizahar at Nightmare level. Please check the strategy guide for useful tips! So the basic schema here is that only Tarot knows and somehow you have to beat Mizahar on Nightmare level. Which I can guess has something to do with somehow surviving multiple threads moderated only by Tarot without your character going insane or killing themselves...or getting killed. Might I add that it seems only Tarot owns this so called strategy guide...and to this day he hasn't let anyone no matter their level of badassery see it. In all I am glad that I could feature Tarot as the first badass. And now that you have an idea of what qualifies; please feel free to send me further nominations.

[Silvy]

May I second that nomination by adding that he not only has a great ava, but puts a chinese CURSE on it?! You know that right? So yea, number one BadAss. Ever.

[Avari]

I couldn't agree more about Tarot's badass-ness, especially after having played on roleplay forums where they didn't have an amazing webmaster who managed the site, added new, delightful features to it, and answered web- and coding-related questions without blinking an eye, all while continuing to post amazing threads and telling memorable stories. It's so good to know that this website is well taken care of and that if I ever have a question about it, Tarot will either know the answer or be able to find out, instead of wringing his hands or shrugging his shoulders and saying, "Well, that's just how it is."

This also reminds me of this old thread: The Tarot Joke Thread, featuring Tarot instead of Chuck Norris.

[Nil'kayn]

Tarot is defiantly deserving of this award. And I wish to nominate Siiri! He is so very badass!

~Nilk

[Cachet]

Ok this month’s badass is well disserved and indeed belongs in a place right below Tarot in badassery. Likely the name associated with badassery even if you didn’t realize it at first. Yes, that’s right you knew all along this specific character was a badass even before I started this thread naming the badasses of the realm. Badass of this month Siiri Now as stated above this character is indeed a badass. If for some reason you don’t believe me then hold your comments to yourself, because this particular badass may hunt you down and kill you IC. No she likely will…no she would who am I kidding? The reasons or Siiri’s badassery are almost limitless and I didn’t have to go far to find reasons for Siiri’s badassery. First off Siiri is one of the few full blood Myrians on this site. In fact to my knowledge she is the ONLY full blooded female Myrian on the entire site that is active. Myrians are badasses in their nature, full blooded and a jungle version of some twisted six foot tall Spartan warrior they OWN the dense jungles around Talboa. And are indeed hell bent on ruling all of Falyndar again. Now how could I mention Siiri’s badassery without mentioning the following… Siiri is quickly becoming a walking armory. Yes this is indeed the truth. Siiri is quickly becoming the female Myrian version of that guy from DOOM3 who carries enough weapons to level an entire country. Siiri currently lists the following as weapons, greatsword, two bone daggers, four throwing bone daggers, a set of wrist razors, a longspear, heavy cold iron mace, two cold iron daggers, and six throwing cold iron daggers. Lost count that is nineteen weapons in all. Now this doubtlessly and appropriately earned Siiri the lore “Is it Possible to be Overarmed?”. The answer for Siiri is obviously….no it is not. And I have heard that the weapons will not stop here, Siiri plans to get a set of dual sword breakers as well. As for where and how Siiri will carry them is anyone’s guess. And even when Siiri isn’t boasting one of her many weapons she is still overly dangerous, with a level of 45 in unarmed she could nearly rip out your heart with her bare hands and show it to you while it is still beating; like some tall beautiful Myrian ninja. If she just happens to be without her greatsword…which she never is. Just when you thought that was it there is even more. Siiri follows a very unique philosophy that I have captured in a few chat montages. Just so all you know what you are dealing with IF you decide you love to be smacked around by a tall beautifully bronzed Myrian warrior. Siiri: i did threaten to kill the whole inarta race when someone else took my face... That’s right where others would merely get pissed at the person responsible Siiri threatened to wipe out the entire Inartian race. The scary part…she may have actually been able to pull it off. Siiri: never leave witnesses to tell others about your moment of weakness, I say If that isn’t Myrian I don’t know what is, enough said. A few other Lores caught my attention and help (as if it is needed) outline how much of a badass Siiri really is. Cooking Charodae - Methods of Preparation, that is right she has likely cooked a Charodae herself and she actually has the skull of said Charoda to prove it. This one Lore was paired with several other interesting Lores, Lore: Charodaen Anatomy and Lore: How to Debone a Charoda. You can only guess that Siiri had a wicked good time eating said Charoda. And the badass lores don’t stop there. Possibly the second most badass lore I have ever seen is “The Risks of Crocodile Hunting.” Yes you read that correctly; in fact go back and re-read it just to make sure you got it. THE RISKS OF CROCODILE HUNTING. Yes this means that Siiri had to go hunting for Crocodiles in the first place in order to understand the risks…yes and hunting she did go. Now hunting Crocodiles is a tricky art in itself. Now Siiri went hunting for said reptilian nuisance only after this wile out of control killing machine (the crocodile not siiri) had killed numerous large cats birds and boars. And like an episode of Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter gone horribly wrong (or right take your pick) Siiri got surprise attacked by this massive reptile and thrown into a deadly death roll. With the beast clamped down on her arm like a wonderful hunk of meat the oversized lizard sadly mistook Siiri for a meal. Her response, find her dagger and remove the beasts eye, WHILE being thrown around underwater like a rag doll. She healed and earned rightfully the lore “Lore: Breaks and Dislocations in the Arms and Shoulders” Now there are unconfirmed reports that Siiri will also be a TIGER RIDER here soon. That’s right as if this tall bloodthirsty genocidic warrior by herself isn’t enough she will be riding a giant bloodthirsty tiger! The Vantha think riding Polar Bears is awesome, but they have never faced a tiger at the hand and command of a true Myrian warrior. Yes Polar Bears look awesome drinking a coke nestled in the north pole, but I’m sure this tiger will look even more terror inspiring when it is tearing off the limbs of its enemies. I am sure there are many more reasons I am missing but this pretty much sums up why Sirri is a badass in my mind. And hopefully I will not get killed for jacking her/his sig for this post.

[Bolden Denusk]

I feel like captain obvious to say this, but, Daayum Siiri you ARE badass.

[Siiri]

So Cayenne directed me to this lil thread here...and god this is embarrassing! Hahaha!

*looks at the recently-awarded Badass of the Month trophy in hand*

So, a speech...a speech... I really haven't much to say but, thank you, Cachet, for picking me to be the Badass of the Month and for being second to Tarot (am I that much closer to getting the Being Tarot medal then?).

To all my fans, thank you. I'm that monster your parents used to scare you to sleep when you were a kid.

To Cayenne, thank you for directing me to this awesome thread, and for creating the Myrian race. I wouldn't be here if you didn't!

And...

*holds up the trophy again*

...to whoever owned this severed head, thank you for serving your purpose.

[Xalet]

“The Risks of Crocodile Hunting.”

Oh damn it this sucks. I didn't realize someone had already won Mizahar!