by Cayenne on September 6th, 2011, 6:29 pm
“Knowledge is power,” the tattooed Konti agreed. “But it must be utilized to to have a benefit. Many don’t, not any more,” she shook her head slightly, the braids and beads moving once again. “It’s a sad state of affairs, isn’t it?” But she liked Kavala’s idea about a knowledge repository, if that broad smile was any indication. “Why don’t we start one? Even if it’s just recording our experiences and those that come after us? With luck, those who come after us will be able to read it, lest they try to destroy it to prevent others from knowing what we go through. But to be forewarned is to be forearmed.” She seemed to take an ‘us versus them’ way in her thinking, sometimes, it seemed to Kavala. Perhaps she had her own experiences. Perhaps others had tried for her contract. Perhaps a thousand things....
But it was clear, though, that she appreciated Kavala’s thoughts and the way she enjoyed knowledge, creating it, finding it, discovering it, understanding it... it pleased Calla immensely. It did seem like Kavala had certainly found a new friend, someone who shared her views, thoughts, and situation. What more could a lonely person, whose needs of food and shelter were met, want? Her eyes twinkled as when Kavala started laughing, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of her lips. But she started laughing, too, once Kavala gave her the answer, and returned the gentle hug, using the moment to get closer still so that her tattooed arm was draped around Kavala’s back. Clearly, she had been caught in her little riddle, but it only encouraged her.
She followed the other Konti’s gaze to the bracelet on her wrist. “I take every day as a learning experience,” Calla told her honestly. “I promise myself that I will learn at least ten new things each day, be it about myself or the the people or the world around me. Even if it’s as simple as making a new recipe, making a new weave with metal, learning new words in another language, or reading another book. Life is about learning. Because I love to learn, I live. The lessons we must face are hard ones, hard lessons of reality, so far from what we want and expect. But each lesson is a lesson, regardless. Life is what you make of it. You have that power, Kavala. You have that strength within you... that strength is what you will need. Don’t let them take that from you. You must nurture strength of spirit and soul to shield yourself when you need it. They will take our bodies, because that is what they need us for. But even when they do that, you must not let them take you. I’m not so foolish to think that I am irreplaceable. I’m not... none of us are. It is not that one of their own cannot or does not weave chain rings together. They tolerate it and humour it from me because it makes a distraction from what I am kept here for. It’s one step away, one step, from what the Symenestra do. Have you ever heard about their Harvest?” Calla left her book in her lap and reached for her new friend’s hand, so close that her head was almost touching the other’s.
“Almost every time, the Symenestra kill their mothers when they are born. It’s not that the pregnancy is difficult... it’s that they poison their mother from the inside out and devour her as they are being born,” Calla was quiet. “So rather than risk their own kind carrying their own children, most of whom would die if the infant is not cut out in time, and might die anyway, they abduct females of other races, any kind, to carry their infants for them... and then the females adopt those children of the dead surrogates and raise them as their own. Those surrogates have even less freedom than we do. They are trapped. There is no hope. No escape. Nothing but certain death.” Calla squeezed her hand and was quiet for a moment. How was it that she knew this? It... it had a way of making their situation as Nakivak seem a little better - at least for the Konti, who were most likely to survive it. For other races, one was as bad as the other. “What makes it different is that we, at least, have a choice about it. Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings, Kavala. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Look after yourself. Promise me that,” her fingers found Kavala’s hair, stroking gently.
“They cope as I said to you - they separate themselves from it. It’s a bad cycle, isn’t it? They withdraw from us... keep us merely for what we can produce for them... and we, in turn, withdraw from them in order to cope with the impersonal treatment.” Calla continued to stroke Kavala’s hair. “I think because they are afraid of emotion. They are afraid that showing us that emotion gives us a power over them. They are afraid of losing every last bit of control they have over us. They cannot cede it. For all their strength.... they are counterbalanced with that weakness. They are afraid of being hurt. They are afraid of being rejected. So if they treat us like property, like walking wombs, they can convince each other to treat us as being less than they are,” she confided. “And unfortunately that is something neither you nor I will ever change. They are not open to learning a new way. They go through life lonely, because they are convinced that no one will ever be able to relate to them... and no matter how much we try... they keep us out.” She sighed. The beads in her hair clinked.
“I’m on my second contract here,” she told Kavala quietly. “My first one, I made a mistake. I fell in love with an Akalak, who took my contract. I returned that love, and we had a child. A daughter. A beautiful white little girl, who I named Masala. I never saw him after that. He didn’t come around. He ended our relationship and told me it was just business. Now, if we cross paths here in Riverfall, he ignores me and pretty much denies my existence,” Calla gently touched Kavala’s hand with her thumb, stroking it. “I offered to try again. He refused... like my giving him a daughter was a weakness that he refused to have any part of it. Just prepare yourself for that. Promise me. Because it can happen. It has happened. For all that they like us to bear their children... to them, it’s not theirs unless it’s a blue-skinned, dark-haired boy. One of them will take my contract, even though my record says that I bore a daughter. She is no longer with me,” Calla was quiet. “My mother came from Mura to come and get her. I did not want her raised here, being groomed beyond my influence for this life, not while I am under a contract, seeing me like this. She will learn about it, because I wrote it for her for to read when she is old enough to understand. Perhaps it makes me a bad mother... but one day, when I have paid my debts... I will get to see her again. I would want her to know about this... about our experiences, mine, yours, and everyone else’s, so that she knows. I want her to be loved and cared for by any partner she falls in love with.”
“But you could, you know... touch that bracelet that we wear, and know something about those who came before us. I understand that that’s how Eyris works. She grants people knowledge about who came before them. Not all of the past has been written down. So much has been lost. But through that... perhaps more can be found. What was lost can be discovered,” Calla mused. “This seems like something we could work on, don’t you think? To discover. To learn. To uncover. To find out the whys and the hows, the wheres and the whens. The whos and the whats.”