Shadows in the Mirror (Serrif)

[Cheshire]

OOCWith permission for Gossamer I am taking this thread over. Onto act three! Serrif, oh Serrif. He was clinging to his humanity like a petching poster child. He was so mature and so level minded for someone in his situation. All of that power itching at his fingertips and yet he turned it down? How pathetic… The man walked toward Serrif, his body changing as he got closer. Within a few moments a woman stood before him. Beautiful with long brown hair. The same woman from Serrif's vision. "Forgiven? You give in too easily." She smiled, speaking almost like a purr. She seemed perfectly healthy unlike how she had been the last time Serrif. Her fingers gripped at the man's cheeks, forcing him to look onto her eyes. "They are just Konti. They could not defend themselves from a man like you. You could be a ruler in a land of beautiful women. Don't you want that Seven?" The knife in the woman's hand dangled in front of Serrif's face. "You could do it or…" The woman's smile turned sly as she pressed the knife at his chin. "I could make you." Her gaze turned caring, her finger's stroking his cheek. "Don't look so interested… besides, you owe me, right?" She spoke of the event that took her life. "You couldn't give me the honor being killed to save your life. You let me be killed because you were too weak to hurt an innocent woman. Now…" She pointed with the knife to the stairs. "Now, I will give you a chance to make it up to me. I died Seven… You can grant me my final wish. Won't you do that much for me?" The woman motioned to the stairs. "Go and take your first steps to taking over this sorry speck of land. Kill the woman upstairs." Her finger slid slowly over the blade of the knife, a sick smile glowing on her lips as she saw the crimson blood bubble up past her skin. "Do it Seven… or I will…"

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

SHE was there! His heart sank and his spirit nearly broke as he saw her walk to him. He remembered caressing her long brown hair as she laid helpless against him in the cage. How she twitched in her sleep as the poisons ransacked her body; the same twitching and thrashing he still experienced. He could still hear her whimpering in her sleep…how his heart broke for her. He had never cared nor loved anyone quite like he loved her. Two people in a very horrible situation and all they had was each other…until she was taken from him. RIPPED away from him. His last bit of sanity. Every night after that was cold and alone, none ever took her place. None understood him quite like she did. They suffered together and that made them inseparable. He knew…he knew what she said was true. The Konti may not be able to defend themselves form him…he was in a strange place and he could feel the tangible tides of change at his very fingertips. He breathed deep looking into her eyes as she gripped his cheeks. Her voice a seductive purr he couldn’t resist. HE could rule over this island of beauty. Every woman his! Everything his! All this was at HIS fingertips! All he had to do was grant her one wish. He knew he owed her. For not letting her live, for he could’ve sacrificed himself for her. And he hadn’t, the guilt was almost overbearing on his shoulders. But he was still conflicted. He knew that he owed her…but did he owe her another life? A life for a life? There was a poetic justice to it. They had killed her when she was defenseless and he was to kill Ildin while she was as well. And lay waste to this city, proving he was no-one’s pawn! That none should ever rule him again. That HE would rule over all, HE would be the end all. His mind had been made up. He would trade many lives for one life. “What I do…I do for you.” He responded as he then gripped the knife from her hands and walked up the stairs again to the roof. He could feel his hands throbbing from the burns they had endured. From the toils and trials so far.; but the knife remained gripped in his hand, even though blood was coming from his fire injured hands. Serrif emerged from the smoke again. His eyes wild, as if he knew what he was going to do. But then…the subtle beauty broke through. He smelt fresh air, smoke cleared air and saw Ildin his teacher on the ground. Completely defenseless. And he remembered what she seemingly told him one day while training. That one day he would have to make a decision, a grave decision of life and death. He would have to decide who lived and who died. And it would be in that moment that defined who he was. WHAT he was. Was THIS who he had become? Was he really this vengeful? Did he really want to kill Ildin and lay waste to the isle? Did he want to be the new slaver of this isle. He remembered the hardship, how he was treated and he knew that if he continued like this it wouldn’t be long before he was the man with the whip. It wouldn’t be long before he was forcing people to fight in a ring to the death for his entertainment. It wouldn’t be long before he was the one clipping the wings off of Akvatari to sell them to collectors, then raping the woman just because she served no other purpose. If he gave in THAT was what he would become. The road was laid out before him…every last bit of it. IF he started here there was no turning back. He would be JUST like the man he despised…history had a way of repeating itself. He didn’t need this. NO. He needed a home, a lover, a place where he made a difference for the better. He didn’t need to show everyone through power and blood that he had overcome his past. That through the bloodshed of innocents he would no longer be taken advantage of; that he was a slave no longer. No, he turned around and saw her standing there…urging him on. “You would have me become the very thing we both despised!” He shook his head and looked right into her eyes challenging her existence; her being her reasoning. She was HIS apparition. “I know what you want from me, and you WILL NOT have it. They are innocent, if I were to strike vengeance it would be against those that enslaved us, not these women. Not this place. I will not be YOUR plaything any longer.” He cast the weapon aside into the flames from which it came. “YOU” He pointed to her “Are MY HATE, MY FEAR, MY LOSS, you are ME.” He said as he moved closer. His will strong and his path now set. “And I will not let US tear this place apart.” He said looking her directly in the eyes. He would defend Ildin’s defenseless body to the end. IF this apparition took his life so be it. But it would be his life, and this would end with the taking of his life, rather than the taking of many innocents.

[Cheshire]

The woman smiled darkly as she followed Serrif up the stairs. She seemed to move like a stalking cat, eyes watching Serrif as if he was defenseless prey. The man was like clay for the woman to mold and she would do so with pleasure. She was surprised when Serrif did not follow through with her demands though. Why was he not listening? Wasn't guilt enough? She would not give up yet though. "I just wanted you to know what it was like to be on the other side, to know how wonderful it feels to no longer be held back." Her voice was less like a purr now and more like a growl. He saw her looking deep into her eyes, challenging her. Her fingers gripped into his arms, her nails digging into his flesh like claws. This was her last chance. She was already loosing power against Serrif. "The Konti have made you weak Seven. We could have had everything but you are just too honorable." Her teeth pulled back, showing sharp fangs. "Do you know what honor gets you? Nothing. No one respects those who are selfless. They respect those who demand things of others. Those who cast off the emotions of others for the betterment of themselves." Her lips caressed Serrif's cheek. "People will take everything from you if you are kind. Do you want people walking all over you or do you want them falling over their feet to please you?" Behind the pair, Ildin coughed, blood dotting her palm. "Serrif…" Her voice was weak as she spoke. "I need help. I need you to take me to Rak'keli…" The woman was fading. She needed help and she didn't have time for Serrif to argue with the woman. "There is no one there Serrif. You need to fight through this." The woman before Serrif's eyes turned wild as she grabbed Serrif's face, pulling him in to kiss her. "YOU are better than this. I can save you. I can make you stronger than you can imagine. Just get rid of the Konti. You can be a king. No one gets to be king but you have the chance." She looked directly into Serrif's eyes in one last attempt to overthrow him. "No land or prestige was won by giving in. It is won by taking." The choice was Serrif's now. Did he save the women who had taken him in so kindly or did he take them over? Only one man knew the answer.

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

His hands no longer trembled, a smile came across his face as Ildin told him this figure didn’t exist at all. But no, it did exist it was staring him in the face right now. Everything he was a perversion of his old self. He realized now that as much of a vision as this seemed to be it was still real. He was seeing it firsthand. And no matter what he wanted to do about it he knew he had to defeat it. But he also knew that violence didn’t work against something that didn’t exist. He looked to his phantom and spoke one last conviction.

“If you loved me, if you really understood me you would know why I must do this.” He said as he pushed his phantom off and shook his head.

“I am better than this, I am better than you ever would believe for this.” He knelt by Ildin’s side and picked her up in his hands.

She was his teacher, his friend. And he knew that if he didn’t get her help soon she would indeed perish. But where to find Rak’keli? He turned around and his phantom was still there. Again he tore through it with his steadfast morality. He would stand his ground on this decision. He knew that there wasn’t anything else his phantom could do now; it was growing helpless. It made threats it couldn’t keep, and knowing now that it wasn’t real gave him courage to stand his ground. Courage to ignore it completely. He could function through anything if it meant saving Ildin’s life. She had trained him relentlessly and it was now that this training was going to come into play. All those days and nights running with weighted packs on the beach, now he knew it would pay off.

“You are nothing to me!” He spoke as he then descended back into hell carrying the body of his Mistress.

The smoke would try and choke him out, it was almost like it was growing a hundred time more violent now that he had blown past his phantom. The fire seemed a hundred times hotter than before. Maybe he had easily forgotten the intensity of the fire? All he knew was it seemed to grow around him like a live entity. It was trying to swallow him whole and kill him. He could feel it lick at him. He gripped Ildin tight, ready to face the reality that he may not make it out of here alive. Under his breath the muttered. “I will deliver you, no matter the cost.”

He was ready and willing to face the eventuality that he may not make it out of here alive. He had been ready for death for so long. In the camps he could feel it’s slow icy grip on his soul so many times that he had grown used to it. The threat of death meant nothing to him. And it was this acceptance that had brought a sudden sharpened peace to him. He was aware and awake now. Having chosen the path before him and committed to the ends that were to be. He ran through the second floor, every now and then fire would lick his body but he kept Ildin close and out of harm sacrificing himself first before letting harm come to his mentor. Every breath was a battle in this environment and he knew he didn’t have long at all if he was to escape it. Embers flurried around him cast off by the fury around him. But he remained resolute in his purpose, he wouldn’t fail Ildin no matter what it cost him. Even if it cost him the very life he barely seemed to be clinging to he would give it willingly to save Ildin.

His body impacted a wall and ne knew it to be the stone wall near the stairwell on the far side of the second floor. He coughed and struggled to keep his body fully aware as he struggled to fight of the darkness that was creeping on the edges of his vision. But his body still didn’t betray him. The fire blazed on as if in one final effort to swallow him whole. He navigated the stairs carefully but with haste. This was it, and it seemed the beast knew that as well. The smoke thickened and the fire seemed intense enough to burn right through him. But it was beginning to seem clear to him that he couldn’t be sure how much of this was real or a perversion of the vision around him. He fought off the fire and felt his feet meet the first floor again. From there it was a quick run out of the building to the clean air again. He could feel that his body had sustained burns from fighting the fire. He held Ildin close, letting her know he was going to help her.

The pain was almost insurmountable. His body screamed at him to stop. He couldn’t take it any longer…but he had to. He owed Ildin that much. His body wanted to quit, he wasn’t sure if it could take much more. But as he breathed in the clearer air his body unwound and the clarity of the night filled him again. He was to find Rak’keli and he only knew of one place to look…the Opal Temple. It wasn’t too far from here, he was sure he could make it. Again he burdened Ildin’s body even though his own body was going to quit. He knew it would quit but he just didn’t know when. Accepting that it was getting worse with every passing moment he set off toward the temple. His pace was grueling to his body. He could feel the burns rip open and bleed as he moved. But that was to be expected. He acknowledged this and moved on to the task at hand. Ignoring everything he pushed onward. He was going to do this; she was counting on him.

The cool nights air was no comfort to him now, nothing except maybe Rak’keli could sooth his spirit now. He drove himself through the space that stood between him and the Temple. Knowing well that if he was going to stand for anything he had to stand now. It was in these fine moments you had to dig deep and see what you were made of. And as his body was showing him he was only human. Every step brought him closer to the conclusion that he was going to do this. Closer to his goal. There….he saw the opened iron gates. They were always open to everyone who needed the help of the healers and he did. But he knew that he needed Rak’keli herself, none else could ease Ildin’t suffering…If he wasn’t too late. He could feel his body was going. He would fail if he took too much more time. But he was SO CLOSE. He was here at the gates; he only had to go a little further. He knew if he got her into the Temple then it would be ok. He pushed past the gates and then met the door. It was opened slightly. Ever so slightly, he threw his shoulder into it and it swung open.

And there he was in the Temple. If he were to find Rak’keli she would be in the fabled south tower. He knew that it had its own entrance that could be accessed from the main building. If Rak’keli was here she would be in the south tower somewhere. Perhaps he would have mercy on Ildin, and if he was lucky she would have mercy for him too. It was late so there weren’t many around but he held the nearly instant attention of those that were here. He held in his arms a deathly injured Konti. Portions of his own clothing were literally burned off of him, he smelt of burning flesh and smoke. He had walked through the fires of Ivak and now bore the punishment for doing so. He was failing…but he wouldn’t fail yet. No, not until he knew Ildin would be helped by the goddess herself. He shrugged off the pain and continued onward. He almost half chaotically made his way through the temple toward the south tower. He knew he had made it when he came to the small garden path that lead to it. He was close…soo close.

He saw the door to the tower and well he carried Ildin right to it, his body was failing him…he wasn’t going to carry on and he knew it. All was coming to a close now. His body ached, pain shot through it almost in a last attempt to cripple him before he completed what he had come here to do. Why did his body choose now to betray him? He gritted his teeth in pain and continued onward. He had to do this. He HAD to do this. He kept goading himself onward as he walked down the path to the door of the tower. His legs were stumbling and giving in, weakening from all of the pain they were in. They were battered and strained beyond belief. He literally fell to his knees as he got to the door. His lungs still choked from the smoke and his throat lined with pitch he knew he couldn’t scream, no he could only whisper…the whisper of a failing man. Of someone who had come so far and yet….

NO. He hadn’t come this far to be on his knees at the door. He wouldn’t fail like this, Ildin needed help. The woman who had made him everything he was now needed HIS help. Everything he had came to ends as he stood again slowly and then knocked his elbow on the door. If she was here she would answer. He waited watching life slowly fade from Ildin…it was torturous watching life go from her. It brought back horrible memories of the slave camp where he watched so many others die like this. But never had they been so close to him, again he knocked wheezing trying to catch some semblance of breath.

Please…..” He pleaded in a whisper. “don’t let her die.”

[Cheshire]

The woman watched as Serrif picked up the Konti. How could the man just leave her? She was beautiful, wasn't she? She knew him so much better than some scaled woman. "NO! YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME! I WILL NOT LET YOU!" There really was not much she could do. Serrif was leaving. He was going to find Rak'keli. She was going to be nothing but a memory, a horrible memory. "SEVEN… Serrif! Please come back…" The woman was softening as she was fading. "Please Serrif. Don't let me die…" The sobs could be heard by the man as he moved, ripping through the smoke and pulling at his heart. "I'm dying Serrif…" Ildin looked up at the man carrying her. "You listened… You remembered…" There was not a lot of strength left in her but she'd let Dira pull her away before she missed a chance to let Serrif know her thoughts. "You are a good person Serrif. You are strong and that is something anyone can admire greatly." Her fingers ran across his chin, a small smile on her lips. "Power is nothing. A good heart will find it's way to power… The right power." The walls seemed to roar with flames and the air seemed so smoky one could have hacked through it. The man would not give up though. Scaffoldings fell, plummeting toward the man and his master. They threatened the man's mission just as the woman had. Perhaps they were just another extension of her. One could almost hear in the crackling "Come back to me Serrif…". The flames seemed to reach out almost to pull him back with their burning hands, or was it to kiss him? To pull him back to her with their fiery touches. They failed though. The calls, the burning siren songs, the falling timber. It all failed. Serrif made it out and into the clean Mura air. Serrif's efforts would not be in vain. As the man pushed though the doors to the Opal Temple, a priestess ran to his side. "Dear Goddess! Wait right here. I'll fetch Rak'keli." Ildin held onto Serrif, fading as she laid in his arms. "If I meet Dira… It was good to see you fought for me." The Konti was on her last legs now. Rak'keli could not come soon enough. "I won't." The words were simple as a hand was stretched out to the Konti laying in Serrif's arms. It was Rak'keli, although one would not need to be told as much. Her touch seemed to pull Ildin back from the eternal sleep she was just moments from falling into. The Konti seemed to arch forward, taking in a breath as her eyes widened. She would need to rest and heal but she was safe from Dira's clutches… at least for now. Calling to a pair of her marked, the Goddess handed the Konti off. "Take good care. She has been through a lot." Rak'keli turned her sights to Serrif and his horrid state. Her hand set upon his shoulder, letting the pain, both physical and emotional dull. At least enough for the man to be able to move and follow. "You are safe now. Ildin is safe now. Come with me." She held her hand out to the man, motioning for him to follow. If the man did indeed follow Rak'keli would have led him to the library. "Do not worry about Ildin. She will be taken care of. For now, tell me what got you and your master in such a state."

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

Serrif could hear her cry and her words ripped through his heart like razors. She had died once but he knew…he knew she was already dead and there was nothing in this world that he could do about it. His heart broke as he recalled his many memories with her. How he held her when she was almost dying in her arms. How he had fought off Dira with only the warmth of his body and his calming touch to her face. He had to keep her awake for all night until he was sure her body had shook off the toxins the slavers infused into her bloodstream. He wanted to go back….he wanted to go back and coo her crying, how she loved him…now he loved her as well… She was dying….DYING. But he KNEW that she was the only person he had ever loved in depth…

She had suffered with him at the hands of the same people the same torture. He had seen them…do horrible things to her. Things that still haunted him to this day…he could still hear her screaming in his head…pleading for him to do anything to help her ease the suffering. But there was nothing he could do…there never was…But he had to push her away from him. She was his past. While it made him stronger it also made him vulnerable. He knew that he had to move away from her forever. Distance himself from her because she was just a horrible memory. Ildins fingers touching his face brought him back to the truth…that he was here carrying Ildin through the flames. He had a pure heart, or so he believed. His body was damaged and he pushed through with all the will and strength he had left within himself.

Ildin spoke sweetly to him as her words almost brought tears to his eyes. She would not let her die here and now. “Please….just a little longer Ildin…just a little longer please.” He held her tight because he wouldn’t let Dira take her away from him.

He coddled her like a child who was crying to him. It seemed like an eternity before Rak’keli came to him. The entire time his memories with Ildin flashed before him as his eyes closed. He remembered when he first met Ildin, all those seasons ago in the Suvai Pavilion when he dueled against a Konti with a Katana using only his fists. How she came to him and told him she wanted him to be her pupil. She wanted to teach him inner peace and sanctity along with the art of the bow. She wanted him to be at one with himself, to find his own center. He remembered shooting targets at night with her on the beach and in the woods. How much ease and peace this brought him…All those times and now they may be pulled away from him forever. She could become another horrible haunting memory to him, like the woman from the slave camp.

Two words ripped through all of this and brought him an amazing peace. Two words, two simple words brought peace and hope to him. He opened his eyes immediately and there Rak’keli was in all her glory…everything he had ever heard about her never measured up to the power he felt in her presence. He was awe struck that she would even consider coming out to help him…He would’ve pounded in the door to her tower himself if he had to and begged for her to save Ildin..He would’ve placed blame for the entire incident on himself if that could convince her to save her. He would even offer his life, albeit so short in comparison to Ildins, if Rak’keli would spare Ildin. Her life was far more valuable than his own…she could do so much more good than him, he had a loyalty to her.

Rak’keli took Ildin from him and handed her over healing Ildin’s wounds completely. Again Serrif was awe struck from her…power of presence. He was humbled by her awe inspiring power. She had healed Ildin absolutely. Then she did the unthinkable…the goddess herself touched him. Actually laid her pure hands on his mortal impure body. He was unworthy of her gift…utterly unworthy. He had in his mind done NOTHING to earn her favor or grace. He cast his eyes down to his feet as her hands found his shoulders. He felt ashamed that she would lay her hands on him. He was not one of her children…one of her marked Konti healers. He was a man, a sore thumb among the many women here. Why would she a Goddess bother with him after he did this to Ildin?

He felt her grace and sheer power wash over his body like a warm cascading waterfall that washed away with it most if not all of the pain that resonated in his body. Every muscle in his body calmed and all his immediate wounds were treated by Rak’keli’s grace. His hands all the burns on them were sealed shut like they had never even happened. The burns on his arms and legs were sealed shut as well…the feeling was…overwhelming to say the least. He knew he didn’t disserve her grace by any means at all. And yet she gave it willingly to him. He remembered reading the words that Only within compassion, can we find that the world's sorrows and wounds may be healed completely. But it was a completely different thing to witness and experience this first hand. To actually have a selfless and compassionate act performed on him personally. He kept his eyes cast down to the floor the entire time.

Rak’keli spoke to him directly and motioned for him to follow; so he did immediately not wanting to keep her waiting anymore than needed. He kept a polite distance between them. Eventually he reached the library with her and yet again she addressed him directly. He looked again to the ground as he spoke to her…as if ashamed to be in her presence.

“Best I can tell….I did this….all of this. Set fire to the house, attacked Ildin...I did this.” He said ashamed of himself for what he knew he had done even if he couldn’t control it. HE had done this.

[Cheshire]

Rak'keli watched Serrif as he spoke. He was quiet, although that was expected with the shock he must have endured. Her brow furrowed slightly at his words. "Why?" From what he knew of the Konti woman, she had been kind to the man. She had taken him as an apprentice and trained him like one of her own sisters. "What could she have possibly done to bring about all of this pain?" The man had saved Ildin and that was commendable in of itself. He had hurt her though. He had almost killed her. "I'm going to need to know the whole story. Your teacher was on the verge of Dira's realm. There needs to be more." The Goddess did not fear the man. Why would she? If he attempted anything, the Konti would do away with him. That was ignoring the fact there was no way the man could harm the Goddess. She only feared for the island and it's people. Her Order was there and her healers as well. "If you are a threat, you should leave the island. The White Isle does not need someone who is going to set fire to the houses and nearly murder the civilians." The Goddess' gaze was light but serious. "Mura was a haven for you. What could drive you to throw that away?"

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

He was almost instantly defeated at the feet of the goddess herself. His mind assessed what had happened to him. Had HE done all of that? Had he done all of that horrible wrong? How could he? Was he capable of such destruction and utter chaos? Even though he fought so hard to keep all of his emotions in check and himself centered was he still capable of falling into darkness at the twinge of his old memories? Would they still haunt him? Every last one of his vivid jet black nightmares causing him to trip into darkness slaughtering the helpless? Burning down houses and nearly killing his mentor? His hands shook…the sickness…The residual poison and neural damage from the years of torture were to blame. That coupled with the mental stressors and pain…did they program triggers into him? So that if he ever were to escape he could never integrate into society again?

“I don’t know….I just…..don’t know Goddess.” He said defeated as he literally fell to his knees his face in his hands as he tried to gather himself. He remembered….that camp those people…The things he did to survive in that darkness. He still remembered the taste of helplessness, the same bitter taste that now took up residence in his mouth. He was powerless now, everything had been stripped from him…and now…now the Goddess herself was suggesting he leave.

Suggesting he leave the very place that had brought him peace until now. The very place that had harbored him from the nightmares that awaited him if he ever ventured away from this place. He could feel his blood run thin as his vision seemed to flash back to those nights…when he was so cold. When it seemed your very bones were ice and your flesh wasn’t even human anymore. When you were so cold shivering wouldn’t even warm you. So your body stopped and just accepted the pathetic situation it was in. He swallowed hard as he tried to come up with an explanation to what had happened; but he was struggling to find the words. How to explain years of torture to a Goddess…

“There was a man….Ildin came to me telling me I would have to fight him that Mura herself hung in the balance. So I followed but kept falling into visions of my captivity. I fought through them never laying a hand on anyone. I went between this world and that one. Every time I came back the man we were chasing became more and more violent. Setting fire to a building with children in it, then fighting Ildin herself. He even harmed a Konti woman who I carried to the street. But by the time I reached the top floor Ildin had already been harmed. And that…man stood over her. Claiming if I didn’t kill her he…could make me. But he switched like a phantom in the smoke into a woman from the camp…I…..she almost persuaded me to kill Ildin…But I could not. So I brought her here to you…My phantom disappearing. I don’t know what he was…who he was. But best I can tell he didn’t exist. But how could someone that didn’t exist cause so much havoc? So it fits…..the only explanation I have was that it was me. I just may not remember it. I just don’t know why I would do this. I love Mura and her daughters…I love this place. But if I endanger it I agree…I must leave.”

He still couldn’t look at Rak’keli…she embodied everything he was not. Purity, hope, life…everything he was not. “I don’t deserve your mercy Goddess…Nor do I deserve this isle or it’s daughters…I…am lost.” He stated as he could feel his body curl up inside from the residual pain of the day…Little did he know it had been much longer than that. It had been nearly ten days of suffering for him...his own little special hell on the Konti isle.

“I will leave.” He stated as if he had made up his mind on the subject. He was a danger; that’s all he was to these people. They didn’t need him, they didn’t want him and he didn’t deserve them in the slightest. He should’ve known when he set foot in this place that he wouldn’t belong here. That this place had nothing for him. That he would leave here and go back into the hell to walk through the fires again.

But even if that was what he was to do this breather gave him the space to make up his mind and take one last breath before filling his breath with smoke…Before burning his body on the fire of the endless torture and pain that awaited him. He wasn’t ready to leave. But he knew he couldn’t live with the harm he had done to Ildin. “I have done…nothing honorable here Rak’keli.” He said as his body tremored some.

He was talking himself down. He had done good things, he didn't think of himself a bad man...no. He only wanted to help people. Help people who suffered like he did. Help people who were in the pits of dismay and torture and bring them out of it. He enjoyed his work at the temple with Lym helping people...Helping heal people. He had seen the work of those with the mark of the goddess...they were so pure. And he....was tainted by the nightmares of his horrific past. But those horrible memories and night terrors were what drove him to heal others. He understood how they suffered, what they needed and the compassion that they wanted but would never ask for. He understood how the broken and tortured suffered....silently inside themselves curled up and in a pain that almost no passer by could ever understand. But he couldn't expect anyone to know what he had been through nor what he felt...he wasn't fit for Mura...

"I am sorry Goddess...I am not worth your time."

[Cheshire]

The man's words were nothing soft and more so, inexcusable. Yes, the man had little control over what was happening in his mind. This did not make it okay to put the Isle in danger. Mura knew Serrif. It nurtured him and fixed what had been a broken man. At least the Konti had thought they had fixed him. That was the thing about darkness, about insanity, about mental unrest. It was so good at hiding, squeezing into the crevices of the mind, just to jump forward when it was least expected. Was it illusion? Was it chaos? It was hard to tell and really, only Serrif would know. Rak'keli could heal all she liked but she could not peer into the man's soul. She could not reverse what had been done to him. The story was told and Rak'keli listened. A friend of the Konti for so long had fallen and with him, had taken some of the peaceful beach goers with him. He was threatening safety and more importantly, health. While injury and the spill of blood was not sickness, it had the capacity to be contagious. The sight of blood staining ones hands and the knowledge that it was you who put it there was power. The strength to grip another's throat in strangulation or run the blade across their veins. It was a coy grin in the face of Kihala. "I can destroy what you create." The power to end what a Goddess held so dear, life. Serrif had felt it from both extremes. As the one who's life was in danger and the one who could extinguish another's life in a moment, if the desire hit him. Perhaps for that reason there was sense in saving him. "You are completely correct. You don't deserve my mercy." The Goddess looked at the man, not a hint of joking in her gaze. "You endangered a race that is very dear to me. One that has served me faithfully for years longer than you have lived. You threatened my home because you are ill." Rak'keli spoke carefully as she addressed Serrif. The damage had been dealt. There was no sense in digging deeper into his pain. No amount of guilt or tears would undo what he had done. "Perhaps there is reason behind this though." There was so sense of softening in Rak'keli's eyes. She was just as serious now as she had been before. "You have been on Mura for a year now. Everything about you is healing and fixing itself. Before now, all you knew was pain and destruction. I do not shut my eyes to the pain of those whose wounds never heal." She had always seen the slavery and the pain but no matter how many times she healed the broken and bleeding, the wounds would open anew. It was not that she did not care. Even a Goddess knows there are times when one needs to just watch. "You only know harm, perhaps you need to learn how to heal." This could have been seen as a leap of faith. A gift to someone who had turned his back on the Goddess. At times, people just needed a chance to change. More so, the ability to. The safety of Mura seemed to tug strongly on Serrif. He could burn the isle to the ground if he so chose. He would dye the shores red, stain the coral that the Konti so admired. He would always have that choice, no matter what she did. "What is Mura worth to you?" The question was simple and blunt. Rak'keli saw no need to beat around the bush. She knew what she wanted out of the man. "Could you combat your past and work to help the women that helped you? Could you put away violence to heal those who are victim of it?" Serrif's answer would determine if he could stay on the isle. Rak'keli was giving him a chance but it was his choice to take it. "Could you promise to heal all those who needed you, no matter the cost?"

[Serrif Von Chatlyn]

Still in his mind he could feel the unrest settling back into the crevices. Retreating back to come forward another day. It seemed it had been there all along, only waiting like a predator for the right time to come forward and wreak chaos. Waiting for an opportunity to harm, maim, and destroy. Everything he thought he was not it turned out…he was. He was vindictive toward those that held him captive. He believed it was because they held so many other innocents captive as well; but there was indeed much more than that involved here. They robbed him of more than he knew. Of his wife, his daughter and his life as a successful trader of knowledge and books. They took away his humanity, his decency and paraded him around like an animal only to beat and humiliate him all over again.

But while at the camp he had suppressed this anger, the pain of the loss so that he could function somewhat and survive. But now, those suppressed drives were coming out of the woodwork. Only to be placed on those that had nothing to do with his capture or enslavement. This place was innocent from the guilt his darker side wanted to place on it. He could paint the isle red with blood, stain the water crimson if he desired. But that was not what he wanted. Seeing the lifeblood drain out of an innocent Konti wouldn’t make him feel any better; yes he understood there was power in death. But there was also an even greater power in life. Anyone could kill, but not anyone could heal.

Every word hit Serrif with the gravity intended…and more. He was still humbled by the presence of the Goddess before him. He had nothing but wrong and still she didn’t destroy him. No, rather she seemed to be making him an offer. One he couldn’t even to begin was being extended to him. “Mura Goddess is worth my life to me. It represents the one and likely only escape I have from my captors. The one place people like me can come to for a reprieve. That serenity is worth my life. I believe I can learn to heal goddess. Others wounds as well as my own given time. I know it will take discipline.”

He still could hardly look at her he was so ashamed of himself and his actions. That coupled with the confusion that was still settling in his mind. He didn’t know for sure what had happened; who had caused that chaos. Maybe over the next few days it would become a little more apparent. But he could still feel the darkness pull at him. His need and thirst for destruction would have to be silenced however primal it was.

“I am willing to be a healer, one whose actions help the needy whomever they are. Even if they be my enemy. No matter the cost”

He wouldn’t take this charge lightly, for he knew the goddess would hold him to it. It was a promise to heal all. No matter who they were, what they were, or what they had done in the past, present, or future. He would be challenged nearly endlessly. His personal beliefs would be challenged and likely reformed to meet this new challenge before him. It was easy to say you would do something. But then to actually do it was a completely separate thing. Words held no weight, actions…those were what mattered. And so far his track record had been nearly spotless, until this flare up. It seemed his mind existed in a duality of sorts. Part of him wanted to do good, and the darker injured part of him only wanted to do harm.

It wanted to survive at the expense of others; to thrive. Get rid of the weak and the weary so he could be where he belonged. But by letting this darker self make decisions he would end up killing, maiming, and doing whatever it took to get to the top. That was not who he was, who he wanted to be. He was a different man than that; and he knew it. He was better than that darker, injured self that hid in the crevices. It was a fight he had decided he would win. He would fight to heal not injure.