[Lyam's Scrapbook] Dreams of a frog eater

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on February 26th, 2012, 5:15 pm

National Pride :

France, land of liberty. France, land of equality. France, land of broterhood. France, land of f*ck off I won't learn English or Chinees or German or else, I mean if you wanna understand me, go and learn French! . *sigh* Now you know why there are so many mistakes in everything I try to write. So go and learn my language, you bum, it would be easier... Anyway, just forget that.

Well, it's high time for me to introduce myself. My name is not Lyam - what a surprise - but this is a name I love, so you can call me so. But if you're too much disturb because it's also my PC's name, you can try Gregorian - or God, it works too. What about my age, localisation, status... does it really matter? Moreover, it changes all the time and I'm too busy to keep it on schedule.

I'm a dreamer. I mean, I'm always in my world. Sometimes I'm in my work-world, trying to understand why Mao decided to kill million of birds in the summer of 1958, or why Ker f = {0}, or why Adam Smith decided to say that the origine of society is natural and not contractual. Welcome in the brain of a student ready to get the exam of business schools.

Sometimes I'm in their world: a world of pragmatism, ownership, greed and speed but I'm usually not staying very long because it's not much cosy. I love my beautiful house full of TVs, computers, internet access, Xbox and else, but it's not me and deadliness comes always early.

So I go in my world.

My world of course belongs to my dreams and will never be real. But I'm loving it cause it's entirely mine and it offers me the greatest opportunity I've ever had: an escape. When I'm in my world, I can hardly be aware of what happens around me, so I'm not listening to my friends - let's say schoolars instead - nor doing what normal people are expected to do. I hate going out at night and dance until the end of the sunrise. I hate parties with more than five persons. I hate being with persons I don't really like. I can't bear people who are doing everything they could to please everbody - I promise the next post would be done with the things I like

.

Recently I've found what I am: introvert. I've found a very nice definition in fact, that fits perfectly well "prefers to be alone or in small groups, is quickly exhausted by parties and other large social situations". Oh yes I am, and I'm rejected for that. People think I'm strange. People don't like strange. People don't like me. Quite rude isn't it? Don't worry, I've friends, all people are not stupid like that. And of course, I've all of you. I mean, my internet friends. I belong to no community but this one: writers from everywhere, trying to share experiences and dreams towards PCs even more interesting. When I'm sharing with you, I know that my choices were the good ones. There are people like me, who would rather read or write than go out and get drunk. People who are very different to me but who won't reject me because I'm different. People who are curious the way I am. "Hey, you're black and you dance punk? Cool, I'm yellow and keen on rock! Let's share our experiences." *another sigh*

I'm very glad to be here. I wanna share my world with you, and share your world too, so that anyone can travel through all the possible ways.

PSOf course you can share everything you want here =)
PS2Frogs are just aweful

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on February 26th, 2012, 7:21 pm

I couldn't leave you alone with my dark thoughts, so I'm back with a better mood. Yep, few hours are sufficiant - few hours and a pizza to be precise.

I promised you a list of things I love, here is the first, my old friend, my lover:

You and I forever :

I don't need to talk about our relationship, I guess everybody knows what it looks like

;)Yes I'm an adult now and I've kept him... and I'm not ashamed!

by **Eridanus** on February 26th, 2012, 7:47 pm

zomg that is cuddle material!

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on February 26th, 2012, 9:06 pm

Of course! With him it always sounds like:

Free Hugs

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on February 27th, 2012, 6:10 pm

Mock exam

Those are certainly the two words I hate the most. Especially when it begins with four hours of philosophy.

Is it true to say that society is a providence for humans?

What if I don't care? Seriously who cares? Anyway.

I'm not keen on mock exam for two reasons in fact. First because it's an exam. But most of all, because it's mock. Mock means that you can fail, it's only a try, but mock means to me that you will surely do it again. And if your mock exam was good, you just have the pressure to do as well as the first time. But if it was bad, you just have the maximum pressure because you don't even know if you're able to pass the exam.

I spent this afternoon above a fucking mathematics subject.

Here are some exercices that are pretty hard, and you will need about five or six hours to finish it... if you have no problem of course. Go now, you have four hours.

Please, tell me I'm not the only one to find this at best sadist, at worst completely hypocritical.

Tomorow will be fun too. Four hours of English from 8:02am to 12:02am. Two translations, one reading comprehension and an essay. I guess the translations will deal with

Les canards sont-ils vraiment des animaux importants ?

for the version (translation from French to English)and maybe with

The new deal of {inser a firm's name}: how to get more money in 2012?

for the theme (English to French). Fascinating. I wonder if the essay will be on new green energies or more on thatcherism? Maybe both, we never know.

Fortunately, the afternoon is geopolitical. Better than history, better than geography, better than politics sciences. I wanna present you geopolitics. I love this class. This is really fascinating, without any cynism. I could stay listening to my wonderful teacher hours long. One day, I'll explain you why... or not I don't know. If I have the time to, maybe I will.

But for now, I'm going to find a nice place to spend my week, far away from mock exams and school stupidities. What if I would stay here? :ninja:

A little phylosophical pic' :

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on February 29th, 2012, 2:07 pm

Today I've met Sacha

I won't complain about my mock exam that I've completely failed (yep, even English, shame on me). Each exam was far worse than I had expected but anyway, there is today something much more important. Cause today, I've met Sacha.

I guess it’s the same in every country, but if not, let me explain what I will speak about. In my town, which is not very big, there are not much of them. They are very quiet, what makes it very difficult to notice they are in the place, although they don’t fit the place at all. They are young, old, both man or woman, they look strange and dirty, they stink because of alcohol and smoke. They are here and there, sitting in the street, asking for money. Most of them are looking miserable and angry. Angry because of the life that brought them out of the society but also jealous of both you and me, cause we continue to live properly while they don’t. And most of the time, you and I pretend we can’t see them.

Few years ago, I was eating in a fast food when I saw a woman sitting on the cold floor who seemed not having eaten for one day or more. I remembered having looked the remaining chips on my hand with guilt. I went out and gave it to the woman with a nice smile. I had not expected an ‘Ave Maria’, but a simple thank seemed to be relevant: “Ketchup?” she asked. I shook my head with another sorry smile and she let the chips fall. This moment has deeply marked my faith into humanity. But maybe I was a bit too naïve.

Since that day I’ve not been friendly to homeless people a single time. I’ve not been bad with them either; I’ve just… never looked back. Until today. I was going to my favourite library when I heard a guy saying another he was sad, cause someone had stolen his stuffs. He had no more tobacco, but of that he didn’t really care. He was sad because his book had been stolen. I glimpsed quickly to see him, and I was surprised to see a homeless man. He was about forty years old and he missed a leg. He looked nice, a bit naïve and in fact he is a real dreamer. He’s been in the street for few month now; because of his leg, he lost his job and for many other reasons he ended alone in the street. Once again, I didn’t look back, and soon forget. But when I quitted the library, he was still there. I hesitated, but I had no money to give him, so I followed my way to the first open kebab I found – yes, the two fast foods in my story are just a coincidence. I didn’t took me long to eat as usual, and when I went out, I noticed the man was still there, desperately trying to catch somebody’s eye. I walked to him without thinking, and gave him the first coin I found in my pocket: 1€, more than every cents he collected until I came with a smile.
“Thank you miss” he said, and I can tell you he was sincere.
“You’re welcome” I replied “cheer up!”
I turned on my heel but soon got back.
“I’ve heard you enjoy reading?”
“Oh yes.” And he began to explain me what books were to him. I was dreaming with him.
“You know there is a library right there. You could enter and read.” I said.
He nodded and indicated his stubby: “I became an alcoholic. And they don’t want to let me enter with this in my hand.”
It was understandable: you should not eat or drink above a book.
“So finish it and go” I proposed “They are very kind you know, you can enjoy reading without borrowing the books. And you’ll be warmed.”
“But my identity card was stolen with the rest of my stuffs” he sighed.
“You don’t need any to enter you know”
When I saw the smile that crossed his face, I’ve understood just how alone this man was, and how hopeful the idea to read was to him.
“I have to go.” I said “Have a nice day”
“Thank you darling. You’ve got a very nice smile. Thank you for all, you’re a good person.”
I smiled a last time and I turned on my heel, ill at ease. Few steps later, I heard:
“My name is Sacha, what is yours?”
I pretended I could not hear, and it took me five more second to begin to cry softly.

I don’t know why I didn’t look back and shout my name in return. Maybe because not being anonym anymore bound you to the people. Now that I know Sacha, I know I could never forget him, while I’ve already forgotten a lot of the people I’ve met. Somehow, he touched me deep in my heart, cause I can assure you I’m not crying for any single reason. And after this strange meeting, I feel like I was not quite the same.

I think it's quite relevant here :

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on March 1st, 2012, 5:53 pm

I wanna write something idiot

We are back into the stadium where a huge match has just ended! No surprise in the final score; after six rounds, the mock exam has got 5 points versus only one for our challenger. Don't be so sad little one, one day you'll pass it!

Ahah, until that wonderful day, I'll play the most I could with my new best friend, named Dico'.

Here we are, close together (warning: this pic' could shock the youngest) :

What else? Nesspresso

AND

I've got my plane tickets to come in Liverpool in May: HAPPY.

by **Paragon** on March 1st, 2012, 5:55 pm

Why are you coming to Liverpool!? You should come Bristol way, tehe!

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on March 1st, 2012, 6:56 pm

I'm coming to Liverpool to see GOOD football games =p

Character sheet · by **Lyam** on March 10th, 2012, 8:49 am

Harmonie du soir

Voici venir les temps où vibrant sur sa tige
Chaque fleur s'évapore ainsi qu'un encensoir ;
Les sons et les parfums tournent dans l'air du soir ;
Valse mélancolique et langoureux vertige !

Chaque fleur s'évapore ainsi qu'un encensoir ;
Le violon frémit comme un coeur qu'on afflige ;
Valse mélancolique et langoureux vertige !
Le ciel est triste et beau comme un grand reposoir.

Le violon frémit comme un coeur qu'on afflige,
Un coeur tendre, qui hait le néant vaste et noir !
Le ciel est triste et beau comme un grand reposoir ;
Le soleil s'est noyé dans son sang qui se fige.

Un coeur tendre, qui hait le néant vaste et noir,
Du passé lumineux recueille tout vestige !
Le soleil s'est noyé dans son sang qui se fige...
Ton souvenir en moi luit comme un ostensoir !

Baudelaire

Sometimes I feel like the albatross flying above the wide, wide see.

Secret :