His home was dead. Nobody answered him at the door, leaving for Rorugir to make his way through the entrance hall into the living room proper. The large room was similarly heavy. The fine craftsmanship continued from the outdoors in, but the columns and fine furniture were full of dust and cobwebs. The flowers on the mantel there were wilted and brown. The only sign of life was in the fire burning below it, in the fireplace, and the shadowed figure that sat at the fire's side.
As Rorugir approached, the figure took on the form of a man, robed and well-built. At long last the man turned to look at him and his face was exposed to the firelight, and in it Rorugir saw both himself and the man he loathed.
Klaldir didn't immediately burst into anger, which scared Rorugir more than if he had. Instead, his eyes were dead gray ovals, and were soon turned back to the flames.
Despite the open flame, it was cold. So cold it riddled Rorugir's bones, so adapted to Syna's light, but he didn't allow it to affect him. Rorugir stood still behind the other isur, and waited.
“She's sick, you know,” the elder Steelrune said in Isur after a long pause. “The healers don't know what is is. They sure do like to act optimistic about it, though. They like to say she'll make a recovery. But Elianel and I both know the truth.”
“I want to see her.”
“How dare you,” Klaldir muttered. His voice was low but Rorugir could hear the anger trapped within. “You leave your mother and me behind, abandon us for two seasons, and then, when you reappear, all you have to say is 'I want to see her'?”
“Father...“ Rorugir began, but was swiftly cut off.
“Don't even try. You are a fool, Rorugir. A romantic fool who thinks he can change the world.” Klaldir stood up and flowed swiftly to block Rorugir's access, the vanguard of the door he sought to open. “You left a life here, Rorugir, and for what? Obviously,” he spat, “Nothing.”
Rorugir laughed gruffly. “Nothing, you say?” he challenged. “I've been to strange and wondrous places, father. I've met ethaefal, kelvics, all those creatures you said were just the stuff of legends. I've been transported a dimension not our own, and found my way back. I've found magic more powerful that with the Sentinels and seen the faces of gods. Don't talk to me about not accomplishing anything.”
“But what does that mean in the end? You met a couple of people, so what. Look at what you abandoned for these dreams of yours! You, Rorugir Steelrune Pitrius, left the organization you swore to uphold and protect and your family as well. Where is the honor?” Klaldir, despite his height, seemed to swell and expand. “Your. Mother. Is. Dying. And you weren't here. How can you not understand that?”
“What could possibly drive a man – no, a boy – to do such a thing?”
The younger looked away. “It's...not my fault.” Rorugir mumbled sullenly.
“Not your fault?” Klaldir asked, his voice rising in a crescendo. “Not your fault?! After running away from home, after abandoning all your responsibility to prove yourself, you have the gall to say the fallout in this household in not your fault?” Klaldir asked incredulously. “Well then, whose fault is it?!”
He had had enough. “It's your fault!” Rorugir yelled, drawing close to his father. They stood like opposing storm fronts, lightning crackling in the between. “Your fault for pushing me, your fault for not accepting me. Your fault for thinking that I'm the same as you! And I believed it too. Everything I did, every single action, it was for you!”
Silence.
For a second, Rorugir looked into his father's eyes and Klaldir's into his son's, and neither spoke. Then something, some expression that was indescribely aged, passed over his father's face, and the spell was broken. The storm clouds shifted, dispersed, and they both looked away.
“I'm sorry,” Rorugir mumbled at last, “I didn't come here to fight with you. I came here to make amends.” A laugh with no humor in it passed his lips. “I'm doing a real petching good job, ain't I?”
“I shouldn't have blamed you.”
There was yet another silence. And then Klaldir sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his lessser hand, which seemed more mottled than it had a moment before. “I'm getting old, Rorugir,” he said. “So old. And in my age, I am beginning to see all the mistakes that I have made. There are so many...” His eyes rose, caught Rorugir's browns. “A father only wants what is best for his son. I must forgive you, but first you must forgive me. Can you do so?”
There was a part of Rorugir that wanted to say yes. By Izurdin, he wanted to. But he couldn't. The years had wrought a rift between them that was too large to overcome by one simple sentence.
“I don't know.” he finally said, “I need time. And...and you should do the same for me.”
Klaldir nodded and looked away, towards the fire.
“Can I see her now?” Rorugir softly asked.
Klaldir didn't look at him. “Of course you can.” he said, even softer that Rorugir.
Rorugir's head bowed. He started to make his way past his father, only to be stopped yet again.
“...Rorugir,” Klaldir whispered, his hand which was on the younger isur's shoulder feeling as light as a feather. “I don't know how much longer she's got. Be careful with her.”
Rorugir gripped Klaldir's arm, strengthening it with his own. He looked into his father's eyes, noticing that they were brimming with tears. But that was absurd. The first lesson Rorugir had ever been taught was that Steelrunes don't cry. Ever. And yet...
Rorugir's paused, and then nodded. “Of course.” he promised, and meant every syllable. |
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