Spring 52, 512 AV
The day was lengthy, full of tiresome undertakings that had left Mara bursting with a deficit of hope. He had been permitted to aid with a birth this day; the delivery of a hale and hearty baby girl. The child was full term and full of vitality. What her name was, he could not state, nor did it matter. Her existence had been a traded one, a child for a mother. A theme that was more than familiar it was routine. He was growing hard-hearted, trying to see things as they did. It was the re-birth of life from an agreeable subject; a welcoming sacrifice for that of a child. His gut still twisted at the spectacle of the light dwindling from her eyes. He was revolted further that he could still unearth the magnificence in it. In the surrender she gave. Whether she had been misled or not, she had wanted for her suckling. She had beamed genially at the sound of her daughter’s first shrieks, even as the venom was seizing its footing. She had treasured her murderer, with the very last of her. A death similar to this seemed a favorable one. He tried to imagine finding someone that he could love strongly enough to end his life for theirs.
His contemplations began to float towards his mother as they often did and he could abruptly feel the variable weight of her last testaments pressing down upon his torso from within the confides of his silk robe. Her journal had been less of an ease to him than he had wished it would be. Instead it had become something of a preoccupation, an endless nagging at the back of his mind, even when his fingers were digging into fresh and distracting work, something that had always eased his whirling thoughts before. Instead he was plagued by her thoughts and her wants. All of them were encrypted in a language he had so little knowledge of. Even the understanding he had was not in writing, simply tongue. What made his venture all the more maddening was the lack of assistance. His very existence seemed to irk many full-blooded and proud Symenstra. That was acceptable by him. He did not feel the need to be acknowledged. They had given him enough, by allowing him passage, a home, and a job. Still his defeats only surged. His constant treks between his place of work to the Cribellum, were beginning to diminish him into an even lankier shell of a body. He barely rested and usually pinched on a second meal or skipped it all together.
He fingers slid into the long silk robe that daintily adorned his thinning frame and grasped the leather spine of the journal. His feet knew the way. They had memorized the path even in the brief months he had subsisted in Kalinor. He recognized the way from the Place of Purging to the Cribellum on virtually impression alone.
The weaves of road were beautiful and fragile if looked at carefully, just as its people. His steps fell heavy upon the trail, heavier than that of any with uncontaminated blood. The structure came into sight roughly a half bell later and his chest constricted around his heaving lungs. He could only assume it would be another fruitless evening, pouring over the very information that would continue to elude him. Still he kept coming back to the same quandary, with what fragment of hope remained.
As he entered, he slipped to the back, readily fumbling with the pages of his mother's pages. He pried from the shelves a small number of books he had begun to use as references. Some filled with terms he could identify as medical only by the diagrams at their margins, and could only continue to guess at what he was reading over. A handful of the words he was fairly certain of. He seated himself at a back table and rested his forehead in his palm and began to read, the same scrambled code he had been considering for months.