We all get tired. We all get worn down. When we do that we feel things and think things and really sometimes turn mole hills into mountains. The only one saying that your doing any of this, Luke, is you. Why would you do that to yourself? When you start developing things, people get critical. In Zeltiva I see four different people with four different ideas and I haven't seen a whole lot of reaction from you the guy that ultimately has to approve their ideas, items, concepts, curriculum, etc. I know you hold a lot of AIM meetings and hash things out behind the scenes so we all trust that in the end things will get done that need to be done and that's that. You'll come up with great solutions, bring everyone together, and have fun doing so. If you don't, something is wrong. When your ready to react, have the time, and the energy and drive is there - you will. We know that.
I feel like people think I've ruined Zeltiva, I've damaged the game, hogged the player based, and sent Liminal's vision crashing and burning.
This, however, is not true. No one has said this within my hearing or ability to read and no one is even thinking it as far as I'm concerned. I don't see any crashing or burning, and I don't see any player hogging (how does one force players to do anything or go anywhere?) or any such nonsense? Frankly, none of the other DS's WANT the workload Zeltiva has now for some reason. I was going to even bring a PC there and decided I'd not do that to your staff.
I think the only debate going on currently is how your staff is setting up the U ( which frankly has been played in with zero development for a long time so everyone's going to be excited when its finally fully developed not mad that 'things got changed' ) and how it should be done. I know I personally died a little inside when I saw the Culinary arts degree, all the mods, and the course requirements. So I said something. But that's what I do. Cooks learn how to cook in kitchens, not universities. It was an idea, voiced and bounced off of people... its not a 'this is what it is!' thing that once voiced gets implemented and is permanent. You ask for feedback because you want it and that's what you get. I've had plenty of OMG NO! ideas in my life too. Everyone does. You keep the best and disregard the rest.
But I'm a firm believer in finding your niche in a city and exploiting the hell out of it while not walking on anyone's toes. When I moved into RF I had to explain how they fed themselves and what they traded, etc. No city had vast orchards or vineyards, so I dived on that. If someone had been utilizing that, I wouldn't have went there. Its really simple and isn't something to agonize over.
But, if you have hellish irl shifts, no time to be online, seeing debates going on that you should be guiding and aren't, then I can see the frustration and how it gets blown up and seemingly important when its not. That doesn't make you a bad person. That just makes you a busy one. What you really sound like you need is some good tea, a vacation with lots of R&R, some TLC, and to come back to jump into it full throttle with a fresh perspective.
Luke. Seriously. Mizahar opened in 2009 in August. The University has managed to survive since then undeveloped in Zeltiva. It's 2012. A few more weeks, a month or two, a relaunch in Fall.... all of that is doable and perfectly reasonable. Tell the players to wait and be patient. Tell them to go fishing until such a time or do private studies. They'll either understand or they won't. The ones that do you'll want to stay and the ones that don't you'll not mind loosing anyhow.
Now. Give yourself a gentle smack upside the head from Goss with love (for being such a douche to yourself) and get on with it. Get through this silly Diamond Jubilee (all you brits are crazy you know that?) and we will expect the same with the Olympics when they show up this summer... and we'll see you between times when you can be here.
If you're still feeling like a failure after all this... you may need to smack yourself upside the head again for me, only slightly harder this time and keep doing it until you snap out of it, okay? And if you feel silly before you snap out of it, that's kinda the point too, because that's what you've been (silly) for feeling all these failurish emotions. There's absolutely no need to beat up on yourself either mentally or because some chick across the sea asks you too. Be kind to yourself because your deserving of that.