Corbin

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Corbin

Postby Corbin on June 21st, 2012, 11:13 pm

Character Name – Corbin
Race – Kelvic; Animal – Raven
Age – 2
Birthday - 15 Fall 509
Gender – Male
Height – 6,0
Weight – Slim (100lbs?)
Skin Color – Pale, only slightly darker then that of the Symenestra
Eye Color – Pale Blue-Grey
Hair – Dark brown, worn pushed back from his face
Distinctive Features – His canines are more pointed than his other teeth, though not overly so, and his eyes remain the same in his human form as all Kelvic
Home City – Alvadas

Image


Character Concept:
Personality - Calm and calculating, like his other form. Naturally curious and interested in learning new things, especially about his fellow Kelvics.
Ethics - He doesn't discriminate between races or gender. He deals with everyone equally-unless they've done something that has made it personal. He does not enjoy harming children, but has slowly learned they can be just as cruel as adults.
Likes - Learning new information and skills.
Dislikes - People who insult him, being forced into a conflict he wants no part of.

Character History:
Pre-Creation:
His mother died of natural causes shortly after giving birth to him and he was raised by his mother's mistress through his childhood in Alvadas. His mistress's son was born frail and sickly, and it was his job to look after the child and keep him company. The child only ever called him "raven", after the animal he changed into, and his mistress decided to call him Corbin.
With the death of his mistress' son, Corbin finds himself lost as his mistress retreats into herself and grieves for the loss of her son.

Post Creation:

First Impressions (In Progress):
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic23703.html

A Welcome Back (Seemingly Finished):
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/topic23565.htmlTraining & Skill Points:


Skills:
Falconry - 6
Intelligence - 8
Morphing - 18
Storytelling - 6
Singing - 6
Alchemy - 6
Hunting - 10 (racial bonus)

Languages:
Common - Fluent
Vani - Basic

Earned Skill/Points
None (yet)

Equipment/Possessions:
1 Set of Clothing
-Grey undershirt
-Black (short-sleeved) shirt
-Black wool trousers
-Black boots
-Wool cloak

In his bag he has:
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
1 Set of Toiletries (comb, brush, razor, soap)
Food for a week
1 eating knife
Flint & Steel

Ledger
600 gold Mizas (100 from starting pack and 500 for not taking a house-need confirmation from Shepherd for the 500 being allowed)

Family Heirloom:
Ravenclaw - A dark sword covered in wave-like ripples, with a handle wrapped in red leather. Originally his father's, passed to his mother when the former died, and then to Corbin after the latter died. He struggles with deciding whether to keep it on hand or in storage, a major problem being he does not know how to wield a sword.

Lore:
Loss of a family member - He knows what it's like to lose someone.
Knowledge of common herbs in Alvadas - He knows about the more common herbs and how to use them to treat injuries.
Last edited by Corbin on July 19th, 2012, 4:30 pm, edited 19 times in total.
When he speaks Vani the dialogue will be this colour
Common will use regular white.
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Corbin
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Posts: 24
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Joined roleplay: June 21st, 2012, 9:10 pm
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Corbin

Postby Shepherd on June 24th, 2012, 3:55 am

Image

Hello new adventurer!

Welcome to Mizahar! My name is Shepherd, and I am here to assist you in completing your Character Sheet in a manner that is respectful to the Lore and overall theme of Mizahar. I have found a few areas of confusion and error, and I'm here to work with you to set things straight.


Things Needing Fixed
 
Age
Kelvics age at a similar rate to their animal. You can find more details here. I would suggest perhaps being somewhere in the range of 2-4 years old.

 
Skills
Reading isn't a skill in Mizahar, as it is assumed you can read the languages you can speak. Please allocate those points elsewhere.

 
Lores
Your Lores are a bit off. Lores are specific bits of information that your PC can know over a variety of topics. You cannot expand upon this knowledge. If you could, then odds are you have a skill, not a lore.

I would suggest Lore of Losing a Parent and Lore of Edible Plants of Taldera (or other region if you prefer).

 
Minor Notes
These things do not need to be changed, but I would recommend you looking into some adjustments.

I notice that you hint at your Kelvic being a Raven, but never directly state it.

You list your starting skills twice, please remove the 2nd set as it is quite confusing.


Please make the changes I've noted above, and send me a Private Message. Upon receiving your message, and reviewing your changes, I will remove the Intervention. Thank you for coming to Mizahar, and I hope you enjoy writing here.

Shepherd
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Shepherd
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Posts: 245
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Joined roleplay: February 2nd, 2012, 1:22 pm
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