Regaining Hope Summer 15, 512 AV Ilhor was in his Arvinta, lying down, totally still, breathing lightly. His eyes were open, starring pointlessly at an empty part of his house. His mind was filled with void thoughts, and images that might have meant something in the past, but now were only blank, transparent, and hollow shades. He thought he would never allow himself to reach that state, he was so emotionally strong, hardened by all the immeasurable suffering he had to endure in his life. And indeed, right up until the Djed Storm hit, he was doing ok, given that he was left alone to fend for himself from his early teens. His sculpting was progressing, his selling skills as well, and he had managed to amass some gold, not much, but enough to allow him to dream that soon he would be able to start his journey retracing his father’s steps. And then the Storm hit. And took away all he had been left with, all he had achieved, everything he had dreamt of. His ice sculptures had begun to melt around him, disappearing into an amorphous, uncontrollable liquid. The first few weeks he tried desperately to preserve them, but there was nothing he could do, and no one to help him with it. Every capable hand was out trying to save the city, the palace, the gates. Everything was melting, slowly disappearing into nothingness, his whole world transformed into innumerable tiny waterfalls, flowing all around him, taking with them all he had ever known. After a few days, his paralyzing grief turned into anger. A furious, terrible anger that consumed his very soul, and seemed to control his body into outbursts of rage. He screamed, loud and long, until his lungs were empty and his mouth ached. He punched in the air, on the walls, on the remains of his sculptures, until his hands were bloody and burning. The seer injustice of this world, that took away his mother, his father, and now, everything else left to him, was too much to take. In all his life, he would fight injustice without second thought. But now, the injustice was too much, and the source totally unknown. In the end, all he could do was turn on himself, trying to inflict upon him the punishment he couldn’t inflict on the source of his tragedies. After some time, the outbursts of rage stopped. He simply had nothing more to give, emotionally, mentally, or physically. His mind gradually emptied, and his body felt like a machine, moving instinctively out of the house to buy some necessities, and then powering down to a long, still sleep. |