A Heart to Heart (Shadowfang)

by **Sahashkalila** on August 14th, 2012, 1:26 am

She barely heard what he was saying as he gently wiped away the tears from her cheek, her focus on the water as she rested against him. His actions were gentle, endearing even because she had not expected this sort of emotion from him. He was a being much like her, hated and feared.....and yet he possessed a heart and soul that went beyond what people knew about him, or even his race. It was something that was profound and unexpected, and it made her tighten her arm around his waist, shifting her head against his neck to inhale his scent. It was strangely comforting in a way, it was rich like the earth and yet metallic, the smell of blood reaching her. But it was who he was, a predator much like herself and it lulled her into a sense of comfort.

However his quick outburst startled her, his voice angry and she pulled her head back, only to be gathered into his lap and arms. Her hands tightened on his shoulders as he stared at her, his words adamant and filled with passion. She had never seen him like this before and what little resistance she had around her heart seemed to melt away, tears forming and falling once again as he gathered her close to his body once again. She buried her face in the crook of his neck while one arm wrapped around his neck, her other hand tangling into his hair. Her tears were silent ones, her body shaking slightly from emotions as she cried......and one little phrase reached her ears that she did not expect to hear.

"I.....love you, Kali.....and I do not ever want you to....die."

Kalila's hand tightened in his hair and she pulled back from him, her golden eyes searching his crimson ones. This creature had wrapped his hands around her heartstrings, forever intertwined with her life. Her hands came up to cup his face, a soft smile finding its way to her lips. "I love you too Sshadow,"she whispered, leaning forward slowly and placing a chaste kiss against his lips. She pulled back after a moment and leaned her forehead against his, her eyes fluttering close. "I have sseen your heart and ssoul Sshadow, and it iss beautiful to behold. Do not ever change who you are, you are...preciousss to me." She paused for a moment before leaning back, her hands leaving his face as her eyes opened. "But you do not undersstand,"she said gently.

She then gently moved out of his grasp, standing and facing the water as the breeze blew, gentle ripples moving across the surface of the lake. "Let me sshow you the true face of your healer....and then you can decide whether I sshould have lived or died." She then let the cloak slip from her shoulders, the fabric puddling behind her as she began to undress. Once bare she turned her head slightly to look back at him, wonder what exactly he was going to think of her in a few moments. "Do not be afraid,"she said softly before her skin began to ripple, letting the transformation take over. Honey and cream scales took the place of soft skin, her legs fusing together as he body began to elongate. Her hair receded into her head, her face contorting as her nose was replaced by slits and fangs grew. Soon, a ten foot Dhani coiled where a woman once stood, and she slowly turned to face him, the only thing recognizable were her eyes. "Thisss isss the face of your healer Ssshadow.....a thing of nightmare,"she said, her voice slightly harsher and her accent more pronounced, her forked tongue flicking out. "Thisss iss what I am and alwaysss will be.....and a creature like thisss iss not meant to have happinessss."

by **Shadowfang** on August 15th, 2012, 3:30 am

Kalila was staring at him, a shocked look on her face. Shadowfang thought, for a moment, that maybe he had said something wrong, because she was even crying. He frowned. His words did not seem to be working. But then, she smiled, told him exactly what he had told her not seconds before, and, to his pleasant surprise, she pulled him down and kissed him. He returned the kiss, meeting her soft gentleness with his fierce passion, before she finally pulled away. As their foreheads rested together, he let a small smile appear on his lips, listening to her encouraging words and enjoying the feeling of her hands cupping his face and her body in his arms. He was happy; happy that he was with his best friend, and happy that she loved him as he loved her. But the closeness they shared was not meant to last as long as he wanted it to.

She wriggled out of his grasp, ignoring his feeble attempts to keep her with him. He did not really understand everything she was saying; something about her true face and letting him decide if she should die. That was silly. He was looking at her face right now and he already told her that he did not want her to die. His thoughts were cut short when she disrobed, leaving her clothes in a pile on the ground. Shadowfang felt his cheeks get hot and a weird feeling formed in his gut as he gazed at her form, fully visible to his Zith eyes in the clear moonlight. Then, she began to shift.

Shadowfang hissed in fright and scrambled to his feet, backing away from his beloved healer as he witnessed her body change. "K-Kali! W-w-what...!?" was all he could say. He was growing increasingly scared. He could hear her bones creak and her skin shift and stretch as she shifted, afraid that something might be wrong with her, but too scared to approach her. The thirty seconds it took for her to transform felt like two eternities, fear, worry, and adrenaline filling his body. In that time the gentle, kind, and beautiful Kalila had been replaced by a monster!

It was Shadowfang's turned to be shocked, every fiber of his being ordering him to run away from the behemoth that faced him. But he could not run. His legs would not move. He would not run. Kalila had told him not to be scared. He took a small, tentative step forward, his entire body shivering in fear. He took another step, then another, slowly, warily, fearfully, reaching a hand out towards the thing in front of him, his attachment to Kalila and his natural curiosity driving him forward. It was still Kalila, right? It was just like how Kit, the Kelvic, could transform, right? It would not hurt him, right? A mental image of Kalila in her human form hitting him wormed it's way into his mind and he physically recoiled away from the Dhani.

He stepped forward again, slower this time, almost within arms reach of it. It had not moved yet, so he was still safe. He reached his left hand, the bandaged one, up towards the giant snake person's abdomen. His hand recoiled again just before he touched it, but he reached again. His claws tapped against its hard, milky scales, before giving way to his fingertips, and finally, ever so gently, his pressed the palm of his hand against its scaly body. It was a strange feeling. Each individual scale was smooth and slippery, but all together, the scales felt rough and scratchy. He looked into the behemoth's face, shivering like a frightened rabbit. Yes, it was still Kalila. He could see her in its eyes, hear her in its voice, feel her under its scales. It was still Kalila. She was still Kalila.

His body was still shaking, though more from adrenaline than fear now, and he listened to her speak. What she was saying... in an instant he went from scared to infuriated, angry at her for her continued efforts to put herself down. "STOP IT!" he screamed at her, putting all of his emotion into those two words. If her skin was still soft and smooth, he would have clawed her out of anger, to try and teach her a lesson. Instead, he settled with slamming a balled-up fist against her tough, muscular abdomen, forgetting that Kalila could easily kill him if she so desired. "STOP... SAYING... THINGS... LIKE... THAT!" He stood on his tiptoes and reached both hands out to touch her serpentine snout, but he could only just barely graze the bottom of her chin.

The sad, scared, pathetic pup inside him began to surface again, bringing stupid, pointless, seemingly reasonless tears to the corners of his eyes. He stared defiantly into her golden eyes, the eyes if the most fearsome, powerful being he had ever seen. "Stop... Be happy... Be happy with me... Please..." The last word was a word he had never uttered to anyone for any reason. He used it because... because he did not know what else to do... because he wanted his cheerful, gentle, happy healer back. "We... are... the... same..." he was having trouble speaking, barely able to keep from reverting to Zithanese. "We are... both... monsters... But I am... proud. You need... to be... proud too." He was so confused. He hoped to whatever there was to hope to that he was saying the right things, trying to stop tears that had appeared for a reason he could not comprehend.

"Yes... you will always be this... and you will always be Kali."

by **Sahashkalila** on August 15th, 2012, 11:21 pm

Truth be told she was more nervous than she had ever been in her life as she stared at him, not moving a muscle as he approached her hesitantly. She could see the fear in his eyes and in the way he recoiled from her, a deep sadness settling in her heart. Even those she was closest to seemed to be afraid of her, no matter what she did. She helped people as much as she could, rarely ever showed her true form to anyone, kept her eating habits under control and yet.....they all still cowered before her. It was painful to even watch him approach her and then withdraw, obviously not sure if he even wanted to touch her. She said nothing though, and tensed as his claws touched her abdomen, his bandaged palm finally touching her scales hesitantly. She wondered what was going on inside his mind, whether he was repulsed by her or if his feelings changed. She was tempted to cover his hand with her own in reassurance, but she didn't, unsure if he would see her movement as an attack.

However she didn't get to do anything because he was suddenly yelling at her and she gasped, grunting as his fist slammed into her abdomen. He didn't do any real damaged but it still caused her to slither back a bit, surprise flitting across her face. Stop saying what things? She hadn't said anything other than the truth and she slithered back again as he reached for her, her heart aching. She dropped low to the ground, her upper body touching the cool grass as she looked up at him, her tongue flicking out. She was growing increasingly agitated, her tail coiling and uncoiling behind her as she tried to stay calm....she didn't want to frighten him.

"You mean the world to me Ssshadow.....but what isss there for me to be proud of? Sshould I be proud of the actsss of murder I've committed to keep mysself ssafe? Ssshould I be proud of being able to sstrike you dead where you sstand in a matter of minutesss?"she said savagely, hissing in anger as her body began to sway back and forth slowly. "What iss it that I sshould be proud of?! Tell me!!" She then shut her mouth as her fangs protruded, realizing that she was yelling at him and her shoulders sagged.

"I will alwaysss be Kali.......but who isss Kali,"she said softly, looking away from him in shame. So many years spent searching for what she was inside and out, and never fully knowing. Always struggling against morals and instincts, never knowing what was right and what wasn't. "You may know who sshe isss Ssshadow,"she began, letting herself lose the shape she was in and shifting back, a small woman replacing the snake that was once coiled there. "But I am sstill ssearching for her." She then sank into the grass beneath her, refusing to look at him. "You sshould ssleep Sshadow, that wound will not heal with you moving out and about you know."

by **Shadowfang** on August 20th, 2012, 1:19 am

Shadowfang felt his heart shatter as the only person he never thought about killing - because she never thought about hurting him - backed away, her body low to the ground and taking a threatening stance. Shadowfang, unable to control himself any longer, took a step forward and raised a clawed hand and roared so he could lash out like any angry, scared, threatened animal would. However, the next few seconds stopped him dead. This time she was yelling at him, showing two long, needle-like fangs, swaying back and forth in a simple yet hypnotic dance, feral hisses mixing in with her words. Scared out of his wits, he fell backward and landed on his bottom, convinced that she was going to leap forward and sink her teeth deep into his flesh. He did the only thing he could do, and put his arms in front of his face to try and block the incoming attack, screaming in terror.

The sudden silence froze everything, leaving Shadowfang there with his eyes clenched shut and his teeth grinding together. Kalila broke the silence, asking Shadowfang who she was and shifting back to her tiny human form in a symphony of creaking bones and molding flesh. He lowered his arms and stared at her with a mixing pot of emotions swirling inside him, the dominant two being confusion and sadness. Why was all this happening? Why was she doing all of this? No, he did not know who Kali was anymore. This was a side of her he had never seen.

Zith did not usually possess a moral compass and even Shadowfang, who was more "calm" than most Zith, still did not understand the meanings of right and wrong. As far as he understood it, survival was "right" and to survive, you did what you had to. Despite his newfound fear of the healer, he began to scoot forward after several chimes of silence, drawing closer to her, close enough to see the scars that cut through the smooth skin on her neck. Still not sure what he was doing, letting his body move on its own, he lay down in the thick, cool grass behind her, temporarily forgetting that she had turned into a giant half-snake and threatened to kill him not moments before. He placed a gentle hand on the scars that stretched from her neck to her collarbone, hoping that touching her was not the wrong idea at the moment.

She was scarred like him. She had been attacked by people who had wanted to kill her, and she killed them before they could. And after that, she even turned around and helped people who had been hurt by others. Not only was she surviving, but she was helping a few others survive as well, one of those people being Shadowfang. Therefore, in his mind, she had done the "right" thing dozens of times over. But what did she have to be proud of? He was going to have to think hard about this one. And it even brought up the thought of what he had to be proud of. What did he have to be proud of? He began to speak, choosing his words more carefully than he had ever chosen them in any other occasion.

"Be... be... proud that... that... that you are... different from your... colony. And be proud that... you are... more strong than them... and that you are more strong... than me." He moved his hand to place it on the scar on her breast, still fuming deep inside himself that someone had hurt her, yet knowing that he had very recently tried to do so himself. "And be proud that... you can fix... people when they need you to fix... them... because..." He stopped. He had no earthly idea what he was supposed to say next. He clenched his hand around her scar and squeezed her body against his out of frustration and fear that she may try to back away from him again. He nuzzled her neck where the scars she had received from Wrenmae were. He wanted her to stay with him. He did not want to be abandoned and alone again.

by **Sahashkalila** on August 20th, 2012, 10:32 pm

She had seen it, the profound terror and disgust that was expected from him, and had watched him cower in fear from her. Her.The person that he had just told how much he cared about and then she...she had frightened him, and was ashamed for it. She did not think that she was ever going be able to face him again, her lip trembling before she placed her head in her hands. She was a monster, that was all that seemed to be running through her mind as her shoulders shook, tears falling as she relived him wanting to attack before he fell back from her. That was the worst part about it for her, remembering the look on his face as she shifted. At that one moment, she felt completely alone, never enough for anyone or never seen for the person that she tried to be.....her heart felt like it was shattering.

She lifted her head out of her hands though as she felt a presence behind her, looking back to find Shadowfang pressed against her, unable to recognize the expression on his face. "Ssshadow, what are you......"she trailed off softly, his hand coming up to gently trail along the scars that were along her neck and collarbone, a parting gift from Wrenmae. She stiffened slightly as he did so, not understanding what he was doing as she listened to his broken speech, trying to offer comfort to her in the only way that he knew how after what she had done to him. She flushed slightly under his touch, the exchange between them both fairly intimate. She didn't know why he was still trying so hard to make her feel better after she had frightened him, because she deserved to be left there to freeze and fall into hibernation. And yet.....here he was, his body pressed against hers as if he had always know her, his velvety fur soft against her skin.

"I will never be asss sstrong asss you Sshadow,"she said, reaching up to touch his face as his hand touched the scar on her breast and speaking to her once again, a blush rising in her cheeks as his hand closed around the soft flesh. "I ssuppossse thosse are good thingss to be proud of,"she said softly, her thumb brushing across his cheek as he pulled her body closer to him. Kalila let him pull her closer to him, gasping slightly as he squeezed the soft flesh before she took his hand and placed it on her hip instead, her head tilting slightly as he nuzzled the soft skin of her neck. An odd feeling was forming in her stomach, much like what she felt for Stigandr when he looked at her and was around her. This was Shadow though, and she loved him nearly as much as Stigandr, happy to have people that she cared for in her own life and that they cared about her. Kalila wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but she felt the need to say something to him.

"I am ssorry Sshadow, I did not mean to frighten you,"she said, barely above a whisper as she reached up and wiped her eyes. "Pleassse.....pleassse do not think that I would ever hurt you."

by **Shadowfang** on August 27th, 2012, 1:56 am

Shadowfang's hand accepted the new place on her hip while his other arm wrapped around her belly and squeezed. He had done it! He had his gentle healer back! But still, there was something about that other, more feral form. Something inside him longed to see it, to touch it, to hear and smell that beast that Kali was once again. As terrifying as it was, he could not help but want that powerful being back as well. He had to remind himself; Kalila was both of these things. That odd sensation in his stomach intensified and burned brighter, wanting, but he ignored it. He was just too tired to pay attention to it. Despite all the rest he had received for days before this night, his eyes were getting heavy. He'd had a rough night, and he had been given a lot of information to digest, almost to much for him.

He simply nodded in acceptance of her apology, rubbing his face on her neck, and closing his eyes and just feeling her smooth, warm skin against his fur. He realized that he wanted her right now, just as he had wanted Andalusa and that female Zith from only three nights ago, he wanted Kalila. Had he the energy, he would sate his desire and she would be his but... His eyes snapped open as he realized that he had nearly drifted into sleep. Kalila's warmth and the silence of the night was like a thick, warm blanket soothing him into slumber.

"Kali..." he said feebly, more as an attempt to stay awake than an attempt to make conversation. He thought he knew what he wanted to say to her, but even then he would not have known how to word it. He may have not even said her name loud enough for her to hear. "I... love... you." He repeated his promise to keep her safe from harm into the crook of her neck, speaking as if his breath and his words could heal her scars. He was sure she would not leave him now. In this moment, there did not seem to be anything that could separate them.

by **Sahashkalila** on August 28th, 2012, 10:03 pm

A peaceful sort of silence fell between the two as she lay in his arms beside the lake, and she took the arm wrapping around her belly and pulling her closer to him as an acceptance of her apology to him. She still felt terrible by it, and she did not think that she would ever get over it, but at the moment she just let him hold her. His gentle nuzzling of her neck lulling her into a dreamy sort of state. She was exhausted, seeing as shifting took a lot of energy as well as she was emotionally exhausted. A lot of feelings had been shared that night, and she could feel herself growing sleepy in his arms.

Her eyes fluttered open though at the sound of her name, quietly spoken in the darkness along with his confession and a promise, his words and breath dancing across her skin. She shuddered involuntarily, and odd feeling forming in her stomach before she ignored it, dismissing it as nerves or tension. He promised to keep her safe, a promise that wasn't really needed, but she said nothing, letting him do as he pleased. She could take care of herself, they both knew that, but it was nice to know that he still wanted to be there for her, that he still cared. She was dangerously close to falling asleep, but she couldn't do that without getting dressed first, seeing as she didn't want to fall into hibernation. She stirred a little in his arms, sitting up slowly as he let go and placed a finger to his lips to stop his protest. "Do not worry Sshadow, I will come back. I jussst need to dresss iss all,"she said with a small smile, getting up slowly and going to where she had left her clothes.

She then began to get dressed, each piece another layer of warmth that she needed to survive the climate here. Once completely dressed she picked up her cloak and walked back over to him, laying back down in the grass beside him and snuggling into him. Her head lay on his chest, her curls spread out over his shoulder while one arm lay across his chest after pulling the cloak over them both. Her legs were tangled with his and she yawned sleepily, too warm and too tired to walk back to the longhouse to sleep. "I love you too Sshadow, you should sleep,"she murmured, her eyes fluttering closed. She did not know of he replied, because soon her deep breathing could be heard, and she was fast asleep in his arms.

by **Valkyrie** on October 1st, 2012, 5:04 pm

Sahashkalila :

Shadowfang :

You Will Be Collected if Worthy

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, please send me a PM and we can figure it out.