by Basha'ir on August 23rd, 2012, 1:20 pm
For a moment, as Orion leaned in and gently laid his head against her shoulder, Basha’ir felt a stab of guilt. Really, what was she doing to this poor man? Yes, she could certainly give him what he wanted, tonight, or for a life time, if he managed to hold on to her. Or at least, she would turn her self inside out trying to. But was that really what a man like Orion wanted? A perfect slave to his desires? A woman who acted not from her own need but from his? There were many, many men who had no qualms about such usery; Basha’ir wasn’t so sure Orion was one of them.
But to feel his head there, to catch the scent of his hair, his skin, it all felt so good, so right, even if it wasn’t. In the end, Basha’ir wasn’t sure she even wanted to fight this, what seemed so inevitable. The fall out might be far from what she, in her own, real, true heart, would want. But it was seeming more and more to her that the experiment was doomed. She didn’t think she could resist Orion, even as she was trying her best to make it possible for him to resist her, or at least her mark.
So she sighed and settled against him too, their bodies touching and pressed together in a very easy and comfortable way. She smiled, though he might not catch it, when he spoke of trying to punch the knight. He even was brave enough to face his own reservations about her, though he phrased it in glib terms. Always, she was learning, he would use humor, often pointed at himself, to steer clear of pain. But she heard some undertone of sincerity in his half-joking words. He didn’t think the night was ruined. He didn’t regret being with her now, despite his busted nose. He had turned a bit to be able to look at her, and she too tilted her head, until their faces almost touched. And then…he said her name in a tone that made a shiver run through her chest, resting in her heart, and she felt his lips brush against her skin.
Her eyelids closed and she felt an intense ripple of physical need spread throughout her body, emanating from that place on her cheek. Every fiber of her being tightened with his desire for her reflected like a mirror within, but there was more, that which was already familiar to her, from their first encounter. The ever present pain, from his past, and the need to find some solace for it. To have it ease, if not to forget it outright, for sometimes pain was all one had to bear witness to what once was. And beyond that still, at this moment risen to the top like a bubble floating up through the currents of all these desires, was his wish to know her. To know who she truly was, and how she was, and why she was this way, what made Basha’ir herself. It was the need of all first infatuations, to be so wholly consumed by another that one desired to know all, to assimilate the other into one’s own psyche. As they say, he just couldn’t get enough of her. And so she too wished to reveal every bit of herself to him. To bare her soul and let him explore every minute aspect of who she was. His lips brushed so softly against her cheek a second time and the need intensified. She turned her head a bit more, and the third time their lips met, and she felt lost and found and overwhelmed, with the need to give him what he wanted, all of it, in whatever way she could find.
And then his lips were gone and she felt like she could not breathe. Her eyes opened and went to his, their faces still so close she had but to bend forward a few inches and she could taste him on her lips once again. Her heart throbbed with wanting to reach out to him and give him everything, herself over all.
And to do that, to be completely, brutally honest about who she was, all of her, would that make him happy? It didn’t matter, for happiness was not her goal; fulfilling his desires, even those that might harm him the most, was the gift of Ranuri.
She did not kiss him again. She bit on her lower lip for a moment, letting the feelings inside of her wash away. Taking a deep breath, she said quietly, “You may have whatever you wish, Orion. My help. My company. You allowed me a question. I will grant you a thousand. A million.”
She paused giving him a candid look, open and sincere. “For I want you to understand me, to know me, as much as any person can know another. As much as I want to know you. Ask me what you will, and I will answer.”
But if I share my secret, you're gonna have to keep it. No-one else can see this...