The Guardsman & The Tramp (Ustengrav)

[Lornak]

Haesmar obeyed the older man when he told him to pin him down, he felt uneasy doing it, but he had to trust the older mans judgement. He knew he wasn't the type to do things out of anger, so he must've had a good reason. He killed the man with a blow to the neck. Haesmar looked at Ustengrav questioningly, hoping for an explanation on what he'd just assisted him in doing. Ustengrav explained why he felt they'd had to do it. Haesmar understood, as bad as this city was it would be worse if they got names for himself. People would seek him & Ustengrav out, hoping to earn favours from their enemies. He'd already been in enough trouble in this city in the small time he'd been here. But he was glad Ustengrav was here to see him through. He felt as though he'd known him a lot longer than he had. The older warriors opposite personality was rubbing off on him, and he hoped, was making him a better person. The kind of person that could have real friends. And perhaps even a woman to bed at night. For now he'd settle for the old warrior & his nightly chats with Lily. Ustengrav shouted on him, beckoning for him to come walk to the tavern, giving him his customary cheeky smile & wink. Haesmar grunted back at him. His anger had ebbed out of him & his ankle was throbbing. He'd love to just lie on the ground for awhile. He hobbled forward after Ustengrav, "This was your fault you know. Come carry me you fat Ox." He called out only half joking. The only response he got was a booming laugh that echoed through the streets. The End

[Archelon]

Thread Award "..." And the Results!!!!: Haesmar : SkillName 1-5 How/why? Unarmed Combat 3 Brawling 3 Longsword 4 Intimidation 2 Observation 1 Running 1 Tactics 1 Lores: Basic duties of being a Warehouse Guard Ustengrav : SkillName 1-5 How/why? axe 4 seduction 2 brawling 1 storytelling 1 Intimidation 1 Observation 1 Running 1 Tactics 1 Ledger -3 gold mizas Lores: Basic duties of being a Warehouse Guard Requested Analysis and Critique : Both of you seemed to have descriptions down pretty well. I suggest in the future, keeping numbers spelled out like "4" being Four. It gives you more effect. As for the rampant amount of curses- it's a slippery slope and Mizahar has a lot of 'curses' in the lore as well. Too much you get a bleaching factor that detracts from the quality of your posts. One curse delivered at the right time can have a dramatic effect. Also consider the differences in spellings of homonyms: your, you're etc. Mistakes happen, but continual misuse does the same thing as a rampant amount of curses. It distracts and detracts. Both of you have different styles of writing that is engaging to read, and I can see with a little bit of work you'll be happily chugging along with your writer's muse. Keep it up . Would you like some extra turtle sauce ? : Interesting thread Any questions,comments,or concerns please feel free to send me a nice pm.