Ialari could not help her initial lack of words to Dira. Her mind was still reeling at all that she had experienced in such a limited span of time. For any mortal inexperienced in standing in the presence of a god, in Ialari's case, two of them, all within a matter of moments, the shock to the mortal system was significant. Ironically, Ialari's experiences with having her soul assaulted ten times over combined with the near crippling effect on her body and mind, had hardened her like metal worked by the hand of Izurdin himself. Though her words were short to start, Dira more than made up for it with her own. Ialari listened as Dira commented on what the isur had proven and what she expected for the future. At mention of the damage done to the Ukalas and the revealing that followed, Ialari could only stare in disgust at the terrible gash that ripped through the seemingly limitless boundaries of the divine realm.
Ialari's mind quickly awakened from it's momentary suspension when Dira spoke of countless possibilities and lack of contradiction. Ialari's gaze quickly returned to the tree that Dira motioned to. Just as quickly, questions began flooding Ialari's mind yet were paused by Dira's addressing of Shalla. Ialari turned to Shalla as the ghost seemed more than eager to speak with Death.
The question of Berliotz was one that fluttered in Ialari's mind as well. Despite what he had done to her and what he had put her through, Ialari felt a strange bond with the dead wizard. Self-admittedly it could be because of Berliotz's shattered memories still drifting about Ialari's bruised and battered mind yet it was something she couldn't completely separate herself from.
Reflecting on Death's answers to Shalla's beginning questions, Ialari never thought of Death as being anything other than neutral in all things. Death was inevitable and unflinching yet Ialari began to find a small amount of difficulty accepting Death as punishing. Dira's justification however of making examples of those who defy her did make sense even if Ialari struggled a bit to reconcile it.
When a moment of silence appeared, Ialari parted her lips to speak yet was stopped short by Shalla who it appeared was challenging Dira in a way. Ialari couldn't help but wince after hearing Dira's previous comments regarding those who defy her.
Ialari was taken a back as well by the strength of will Shalla displayed as she spoke challengingly against Dira and questioned the goddess' motives. The comments held great merit though and Ialari considered them deeply as she listened. There wasn't much time to ponder it all however as Dira's response finally brought Ialari back into the fold. For the isur, she quickly formulated what she would say next. She had plenty of time over the last several days to think about all that was occurring. Occupying her mind with deeper thoughts was one of the only ways she found to keep her mind from giving up to the rigors of untold stress and fatigue.
A short fit of coughing followed a deep breath. Ialari wiped her mouth and finally spoke, "Before I come to a conclusion regarding our deal, there are a few things I wish to say. I mean, it isn't everyday one gets the ear of a goddess, not to mention the ear of Death." Ialari spit a small piece of rotted bone to the ground; leftovers from the explosion that threw Berliotz's unliving mass through the wall. "Regarding Dominion, or Rok if you wish, I can't speak for any others who may gain the knowledge after me. I can only hope that my own sacrifices in the pursuit of greater knowledge of this realm will speak for themselves. I do have a couple of questions and comments though regarding what you said about this realm. First, you say the Ukalas is not meant for us. I can't imagine anything other than that as fact. I feel like a stranger here yet at the same time I feel at home. The conflict between the two is enough to give me pause. Also, If countless possibilities are to be had and here I live, remain unborn or die countless times, that means time and mortal reality have no set boundaries? Within the confines of my Dominion, there are no limits beyond what my mind can fathom?"
Ialari ran the fingers of her offhand over her metallic shoulder once more, the feeling of the new etchings placed personally by the Divine Father sent a loving tingle through her.
Following up her previous questions, Ialari commented on the discussion between Shalla and Dira, "Berliotz's fate is well deserved. One day, before you release him to the winds of destiny, I would like to speak with him once more. Not the demented, tortured, corrupted and utterly insane Amir Berlitoz but the master wizard he was before falling down the well of madness. I would ask him a few questions." Ialari licked her dried lips, cringed at the taste but continued. "This brings me to my friend's comments about your motives. Now, I'd like to preface this by saying that you are a goddess and need not justify yourself to mortals or the undead. That said, I've come to trust in this short amount of time, Shalla's observations. I too now ponder how all of that has happened seemed to fall neatly in line in such a way that brings us to this point. That said, and my dear Shalla, please understand where I am coming from here, but I trust in the divine with little to no question. It is not my place as a mortal to question the will of the gods. Even if you, Dira, manipulated events to bring us to this meeting with expectations of me asking you for your mark, it is not place to question your motives. I could have, at any time, chosen a different direction. I could have simply ran from Berliotz; it was something I had considered if only briefly. I could have given up when my injuries threatened to consume me. In the end, I could have chosen to rely on my own failing, blind, questioning, faithless, judgement; instead I chose to see the signs before me. I accepted the will of the gods and sacrificed the only thing I had left. I've no doubt that you, Dira, know how I will meet my end. You knew that this was not the time and perhaps you did take advantage of that knowledge. It's still not place to question, not yet."
Ialari looked again at the tree standing just out of reach of her Dominion. "I left Sultros years ago with three goals in mind. The first, to seek out knowledge and experience that I could otherwise not find under the mountain. Second, I sought to restore my people to the prosperity, strength and superiority that they held so long ago. Third, the only way to achieve that would be to exterminate the disease that I saw the humans as being. I thought them to be the cause of my people's isolation and retreat from the world. Since that time, things have definitely changed. I've discovered quite possibly, the greatest knowledge ever so my first goal has attained an amazing jump. The second goal though has been complicated a bit as has the third. In myself I've seen my own weakness and it is the weakness my people also share. I alone can't save them. They must find it within themselves to restore their own greatness. As for humanity, it is but one symptom of a greater disease. We all had a price to pay in the devastation that brought us to the point we all stand now in existence, both mortal and divine. Mortals, all of us, decided to take the world for ourselves at the expense of the gods. We lost faith in the divine and deluded ourselves with blind faith in ourselves. At the same time, you, the gods, spoken with your own words, lost faith in mortality. The Valterrian was inevitable. No matter the actual cause, it would have happened one way or another." Ialari was getting beginning to feel the effects of her fatigue; Izurdin's touch was beginning to fade.
"I've come to understand quite a bit as of late. I've learned much about myself and a bit about the gods. I've learned something of those who have escaped death," Ialari looked to Shalla, "You say that nothing good comes from asking Death the big questions life. I would counter that one cannot know the answers to those questions of life without first understanding death. If what Shalla says is true and you indeed wished to mark me from the beginning yet wanted me to ask for it, I think you, Dira, have failed to understand something quite basic. You see, without sickness and disease, there is no strength and health. Without life, there is no death. There is no choice without destiny. We're all subject to destiny, I've see that now. I don't know how but I see that I was not meant to exterminate humanity. There was something more. While I won't challenge you or your motives, I will say that I feel even you are subject to destiny. Perhaps, you were meant to manipulate events and maybe meant to mark me from the beginning. Philosophy and theology isn't something that mortals and gods are meant to argue though, not in a way both could ever come close to comprehending in regards to each other. So I will leave it at this. I leave the choice of marking me to you. I will not ask for it. You are either meant to mark me or you're not. A deal was made and I fulfilled my end of the bargain. As for your end, I leave it to you how to proceed. Either way, you have my faith." Ialari sighed deeply, some more of her strength exiting as well. She wasn't sure if she would be able to leave the damaged structure on her own just as she wasn't sure if recovering in her Dominion was wise as well. She had a friend in Shalla as well as her own faith in the gods to see her through. One way or another she hoped one would see her through.