The Drykas listened to Khiara's words, every sentence causing the twist in the pit of his stomach to increase, the tug at his heart to grow stronger. He knew the pain she had struggled with. Though the Vantha and Vanator never discussed it after their first talk, he had watched her, gauging how Khiara was adjusting, how she was managing her grief.
The horseman nodded and smiled as she spoke of Pygmy. The sprite, brash Kelvic had a way about her that made you love life a little more when she was around. After the reception a few days before, Vanator had realized just how much Pygmy had meant to him.
When Khiara finally turned her eyes to him, he saw their subdued lavender hue, the same color they took on when they first discussed their mutual sufferings. She poured out more of her heart, words that revealed feelings he too had harbored. A huge hole opened in his chest as truth was revealed, and his own suppressed emotions rose to the surface.
Vanator stood, staring at Khiara's eyes, which glistening with restrained tears. The Drykas silently cursed his situation. His heart was torn in shreds, his affections pulled in every direction. He knew Pygmy had feelings for him, feelings he now knew he shared for her. Kashik, the epitome of a fine Drykas woman, had shown up three days ago, and Hex, a dear friend whose friendship had grown to mean so much more, was going to arrive in Endrykas three days from then. And now, he had to admit to himself the love he had for Khiara. Though there had been an intentional distance between them, Van shared something closer with the Vantha that the others could not.
He immediately felt guilty for so many things. He felt ashamed that he had cursed his life. Indeed, he was blessed among Drykas to have the humble honor of the affections of these magnificent women. He was ashamed that he had not spoken to any of them of the others. He was ashamed that he wanted to take Khiara into his arms at that moment and kiss her again, to do what he had longed for and knew he could not.
Of course Khiara was right. It would crush Pygmy, and he could not stand to break the girl's heart. And it would be difficult for Van if Khiara remained, their unresolved affections always present no matter who he may choose to be with.
Vanator tilted his head back and sucked in a deep breath of evening air, smoothing his hair back with both hands in frustration. He was physically struggling to prevent himself from drawing closer to the dark Vanthan, he wanted put his arm around her, but feared he would not stop there. He wished above all things that Kavala was there, he needed his sister. She had always been there when he needed her.
"Khiara," his voice was pained and thick with emotion, "...I do not want you to leave. I...I have those feelings too, towards you. I share a closeness with you, you understand a part of me that few others have understood." He gave a little ground, taking a step towards the Vantha. "But I see too the complications, and they are more than you know." Van dropped his head, a flush of shame rising to his bronzed cheeks. His arms unfolded and his hands fumbled as he looked down at them.
"Did you know Pygmy and I were going to Riverfall when summer comes? I had hoped you would go too. But now..." He trailed off, unable to finish his thought, unwilling to accept a separation from Khiara. |
