[Vol]Backward Blockades

by **Lixue** on November 24th, 2012, 12:21 am

Lixue's lips were tight as she listened to Volinir's explanation. As soon as they crossed over from the Torture Chamber, Lixue pulled the door shut with a bang before striding across the room. She did not look directly at him, but instead at the wall behind his head. In an attempt to control the urge to shout at him and keep the thought of violently hurting him at bay, Lixue clenched and unclenched her right hand. Lixue paid no mind to the cloth loosely covering her chest, nor did she pay any heed to the skirt that was curled unto itself and hid only her most secret assets.

Lixue also did not pay mind to the rich smell of chamomile in the room or the candles sporadically lit around the room. Lixue did not pay any attention to the large bed that practically invited individuals to lie down and enjoy themselves on it.

No, instead, Lixue paid attention to keeping herself in check. She paid attention slowing her breathing and taking deeper breaths; paid attention to forcing her anger to simmer, so she would only terrify him, not hurt him; and paid attention to how her body still ached for Volinir, even if her mind did not.

"I completely understand. Do I forgive you? No." The words were spoken solidly and without hesitancy. "If we had been found, there would have been repercussions." Lixue closed and opened her hand again before taking a step closer, her heels clacking ominously on the floor. "Do I forgive you harming the man? Yes." Another step, this time forcing Volinir to back up. "Do I forgive you for wanting to escape? For leaving the man? Yes." This time, Lixue reached out and pushed his chest. "Do I forgive you for pulling me out of the pool and forcing me to leave him lying in the water, still bleeding and needing medical aid? No." Another shove, this time forcing Volinir to hit the wall.

"You risked that man's life. I am fairly certain employees here may know basic care, but they do not know medicine. They will only recognize that man needs stitches and will need to stop bleeding, but they will not know how to handle it or how to start and end the stitches. They will not know how far to space the marks, nor will they know how to get infection out of such wounds. That man will most likely die, Volinir, because you pulled me away and that is not excusable." A pause as she move even closer, until her breath pulsed against his skin. One hand pressed against his chest, keeping him from moving. "I would go back, but I saw how he was bleeding. I saw the hints of deaths, of how he flirted with life. I saw the blood. I stood in the blood. That man is, I estimate, dead already. Or will be soon. Because you pulled me away. You risked his life."

by **Volinir Orchid** on November 24th, 2012, 12:37 am

Perhaps Lixue would have been better served remembering why exactly the torture room had such a dramatic effect on Volinir. When she pushed him the first time, the Symenestra's hands balled up into fists, and his lips narrowed to keep himself from bursting out at her. When she shoved him a second time, his jaw locked, and his brow furrowed. By the time Lixue had shoved him into the wall, blood was trickling between Volinir's fingers and slowly dripping onto the opulent carpet; he had punctured his palms with his claws. He was staring resolutely at the floor, and he seemed to be trying to make himself as small as possible without moving. If Lixue paid very close attention, she might have noticed that he was shaking.

Her speech confused him slightly, as she spoke as if she was a healer- which she might have been, before losing her job. She had mentioned money troubles, after all. The room was silent for quite a while. Talking only netted one a worse beating where Volinir used to be situated.

After about thirty ticks, he elected to speak again in a tense hiss. "You're a maid. Whether or not you could, they wouldn't have let you treat him. They would have just beaten you to death and made their apologies. Or raped you." he added with a grimace. "Am I that awful for only letting one person die instead of two?"

by **Lixue** on November 24th, 2012, 12:56 am

Lixue flinched when Volinir called her just a maid. In fact, her eyes fell away for only a moment. How had she lost her job? The last thing Lixue remembered was working at the Whitevine Medical Center and now she was in Wind Reach, at a brothel. Would she not remember such a trip? Or needing such a job? Would Lixue not remember being fired? The questions plagued her and threatened to cause confusion, but she shoved them away like she had shoved Volinir. That was not the topic at hand. The topic at hand was dealing with a man who had dared pull her away from a patient who was in necessary need of medical expertise.

With her heels, Lixue made for a more intimidating person. She was nearly Volinir's height and could look him square in the eyes. They also let her hold onto her anger longer. Looking up at someone tended to completely throw off any anger or allow the person to not take her seriously.

"You do not," she informed Volinir in a low voice, "have the authority, nor the right, to tell me it was better to pull away someone who could have helped a situation because of what may have happened. You do not have control over the future and, thus, you could not have guaranteed the idea that I would have been beaten, or raped. You do not have the right to say they would not have let me treat the man. They would have, if only because no one else could have." A pause as Lixue chuckled, but without mirth. "I may be a simple maid, Volinir, but you would be amazed who people take orders from in the time of chaos. Do not assume I have no right to the patient and they would have believed the same thing, because I am a maid."

Lixue was aware of her chest heaving from anger. "Never pull me away from a patient who needs help because you think you are doing something good. Guess what, Volinir? At the chance of saving a life, I am willing to lose mine. And you need to understand that," little less than a warning. "Because I would, perhaps not gladly, but I would allow them to beat me. Perhaps to death. You do not know. I do not know. Perhaps they would have raped me." A minor shrug as Lixue let the words roll off. "But I would have handled the punishment with the knowledge that I may have saved a life.

"Again, do not for one second believe you were doing something good by forcing me to leave. You may have saved my life, Volinir, but you also caused the death of one. And no matter how much you try, you cannot escape that and you cannot run from the past forever. Nor can you cause someone else to run from your past as well."

by **Volinir Orchid** on November 24th, 2012, 1:20 am

By the time Lixue had finished her little speech, a change had come over Volinir's features. He was glaring daggers at the woman, and when he spoke again, his voice was murderously calm. "You know nothing... You didn't even know what a whip scar looked like. You can say whatever you like, think whatever you like, but you haven't the slightest clue what torture is like. You've never even seen a flogging, let alone felt one." Volinir was starting to raise his voice. "You've never seen people brutalized beyond recognition just for looking the wrong person in the eye! While you've been shut up in your perfect little world, entertaining such perfect little notions, I've had the pleasure of witnessing first hand exactly how cruel azo like you can be!"

Volinir was no longer cowering. If anything, he looked like he was about to slap Lixue across the face. "When you've seen a thirteen year old girl thrown to dogs for not cleaning fast enough, then you can lecture me." he took a step towards Lixue. "When you've had to go to sleep with the death wail of an innocent boy in your ears because a house guest got caught doing something he shouldn't, and decided to use him as a fall guy, then you can lecture me." Another step. "When you've seen a dozen maids and valets replaced, not because they did anything wrong, but because they were killed on a whim, then you can lecture me!" Unless Lixue moved, Volinir would practically be standing against her. "But until then, SHUT UP, and don't you DARE be angry because you're too petching naive to wrap your head around the idea that sometimes, you can't even save yourself!"

The Symenestra's fangs had flared a half-inch, his lips were curled into a snarl, and his eyes were watery and bloodshot. His voice was soft again, but his shoulders were still heaving with anger. "But if you'd rather have stayed and watched them throw that man into a meat grinder while he was still alive so they don't get his family coming after them, and then had your throat slit so you'd keep quiet, be my guest."

by **Lixue** on November 24th, 2012, 1:54 am

Lixue was not like Volinir. She did not cower away from his anger, did not let her eyes drift elsewhere, did not let her anger boil until it bubbled over. Instead, she kept her chin high, her eyes straight on his, and kept her mouth shut. Lixue would never let Volinir see it, but she feared him. After all, she had seen firsthand what he could and would do to someone. What made her any different? Because he knew her and had not known the man? But really, how long had they known each other? And the man had done nothing to provoke him, Lixue had.

With each step Volinir took, Lixue held her ground. She let him come closer and closer, until his breath tickled her face and his words left her ears ringing. And still, she watched him with her green eyes. Still, she said nothing, did not a thing in reaction or retaliation. She did not apologize for what he had been through, nor did she apologize for pushing him over the edge. No, Lixue waited. Waited for Volinir to be finished and for him to fall silent. Waited for her insides to quit shaking and for her knees to solidify. But Lixue would never let Volinir know this. No, to admit this weakness and to admit this fear would be horrendous. To admit he had proven a point and gone past an invisible line was inexcusable, if not downright terrifying.

And Lixue waited until Volinir's harsh breaths had calmed before she let her eyes fall away from his and land on his collarbone. She waited until he had control over himself, at least to some extent, before she brought her eyes back up to meet his. A fierce determination and dedication lay in those eyes and held the soul of someone twice, or even three times, her age.

In an even quiet voice than the one Volinir had used, Lixue spoke. "I will not attempt to defend myself with things of my life. That would be useless. That would not stand up to your experiences. I will not attempt to disagree with the statement that I am naive. That would be useless. That would not be believed. But there are things you must understand and things you must accept." Another simple shrug, this one less relaxed than the other as Lixue blinked and calmly kept going. "I may not have experiences that weigh up to yours, Volinir, and I may not be able to say I have seen the things you have, but I do not let my past dictate my future or my present. You must become aware of the fact that healing and helping is my life. And no matter what happens, or what will happen, I will always be willing to heal and help. Not because it is the right thing to do, but because my life means nothing compared to the life of my patients."

With that said, Lixue finally stepped back. She let eyes drop from Volinir's and occupied herself by straightening the pieces of lace surrounding her wrists. Next came the skirt, which was nearly dry by then. Lixue fluffed it back out, fixed her stockings, and readjusted her top. Only then did she glanced back at him and with a sad sort of smile said, "I have work to do, as I am only a maid. If you will excuse me."

by **Volinir Orchid** on November 24th, 2012, 3:18 am

Volinir only had so much anger in him, and while he still had quite a bit to go through, he had expended his supply of rage for the day. Which was probably why he didn't shut Lixue out completely. He actually listened, and while her great drive to help others was lost on the Symenestra- Mostly because he refused to believe that a human being could have that kind of conviction- but a certain sentence about living in the past he filed away for later. That was something he would have to think about... But not now.

He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted, but he knew that he wasn't ready for Lixue to leave yet. Or perhaps he was just afraid of being alone. Whatever it was, it looked a little like fear from the outside. "Wait!.." he took one more small step forward. "Please... Stay a little longer. I didn't mean all that. Please... Stay just a moment more?"

But the sun had risen, and whatever she would have decided was meaningless. Lixue was gone. Volinir was gone.

Volinir almost jumped out of his bed in Ravok, drenched in a cold sweat. Within ticks, the details of the dream were lost, leaving only a broad, blurry memory of what had transpired.

Lixue, in the meantime, awoke with a vague memory of arguing with someone who she still couldn't quite remember outside of the Chavena, but had somehow gotten her to state her purpose to him.

by **Valkyrie** on December 6th, 2012, 12:42 am

Lixue :

Volinir Orchid :

You Will Be Collected if Worthy

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, please send me a PM and we can figure it out.