Time and Blessings (Kail)

[Taithrosa Eldytia]

Taithrosa smiled at his love as she stuttered her way through what she had to say. His silver eyes stared into her violet one as she looked back at him. She seem particularly nervous today, something that she rarely was around him anymore, and so his eyes grew curious as he looked at her.

He sat there forehead to forehead as she seemed to collect herself and finally present her self in clear words. They were simple and to the point, but held a beauty all of there own. The silver eyes blinked in surprise but it was a pleasant surprise. They softened and his eyes crinkled with a smile.

“That is good news.” He says slowly in konti his words simple full. “I promise I will be back to take care of you both.” He continue to smiles as he holder her close forehead to forehead as he stairs into her eyes. He hadn’t really expected to become a father again, for some reason his mind had placed that stage of his life behind him, but it appeared as if it hadn’t been. He felt a warmth flood his soul as he looked at her, and from his memory came an ancient song of Akalak celebration. He pulled her close and then raised his voice in the ancient song which he remembered from his previous life. It was in honor of new life and celebration.

[Kail D'Rea]

Kail was completely surprised. Almost shocked. She wasn't really sure what she had expected fro Taith, but it wasn't this. It was almost a non-reaction. He just kind of went on as if nothing had happened, nothing had been said. Disappointment she hadn't been expecting spread through Kail. She knew that men usually weren't excited to have a Konti child. They were always girls and didn't look anything like their fathers, and Kail knew this and thought she wouldn't mind. But then she did mind. Taith was different, or so she had thought. She had imagined he would be happy, maybe even want to stay. After all, the baby could look like him. At least him in the day time. Instead he had just calmly acknowledged that he now had an obligation and that he intended to take care of it. That hurt her most of all. Now she was a burden to be taken care of.

Tears didn’t even come as Taith started singing some song she didn’t recognize in a tongue she didn’t speak. She just sat there and let go her dream of having someone to share with. She had been so excited. She was going to be able to hold her own baby; to raise a child! She was young to be expecting, but still felt the honor to be able to continue her small race. Or in this case possibly another race for which every new addition was important. Just thinking about it got her spirits up and made her almost swell with joy. She had wanted Taith to share that. At least some of it.

In stead it was “good” and they would be “taken care of.” Now she couldn’t talk about the possibilities with him. She had even hoped he would be able to help her with some of the fears she had about having an Akalak child. She tried to tell herself that she couldn’t really have been expecting so much. That she’d been silly to hope for it, even in the back of mind. And anyway, why worry? She could talk with her own family and they could share with her. Taith would leave and she wouldn’t think of him as imagining her getting bigger or wondering what their baby would look like. He would just be gone and she would be alone.

Still, he had promised to return and that was something. She grabbed that thought and gathered what strength she could from it. He did keep his word, or had in the past. There was still a chance and that was better then nothing. She wished she hadn’t said anything. He didn’t really need to know and she needed to enjoy these last days together, not be unhappy and bad company. Then he wouldn’t want to come back even if did. She wouldn’t be a pleasant memory. Kail made an effort to gather herself together and by the time Taith was done singing, she was able to manage a smile. She hoped it was enough to keep Taith from asking if something was wrong. She wouldn’t be able to put this into words or share her feelings in any way, and she didn’t want to anyway.

With the smile still stuck on her face, she moved away from this embrace and slid her hand down him arm and into his huge, strong hand. She pulled him along as she started to move up the beach. Once she was facing fully away, she trusted herself to speak in an untainted voice. “Let’s go home, love. It’s getting late and it’s been a long day.” Kail hoped he would just come along. She really did want to get home. She needed the quiet of the night to think things through and decide if she ever could be as excited in her self as she had been before she had told Taith of the impending arrival.

[Taithrosa Eldytia]

Taithrosa was mess of emotions. Joy and excitement, worry and concern. Concern for the child coming into the world, concern for his beloved. There was no clear way to speak of the chaos that was inside him now. A child, a spirit to be taught. There was so much so very much that meant.

He hadn’t been sure what to say to the woman he loved. He needed to examine his own emotions. Sort them out so that he could put them in words. He had fallen back on what he had known, a song ancient and celebratory, but as he held her he could feel her body not responding to the comfort he intended. Then it occurred to him that she didn’t speak Akalak that well, and his song was archaic by modern standards. He looked down at her and stopped his song. “I am sorry, I forgot you don’t speak Akalak that well, and my song is old anyways.”

He pulls her close and holds her tight. He suspected by her smile that he hadn’t done the right thing for her. He looked down at her. Her face smiling and she pulls him forward into the walk. He could tell she wasn’t happy he hadn’t said they right think to help her. He wasn’t surprised he was conflict of emotion, he was actually speechless was the way to put it.
They walked in quiet for a moment. “I Love you.” He said as they walked home. He looked over at her realizing she needed more. “I am filled with joy, and concern.” He catches up to her so he can see her face, “I am going to be away, and I want to be here.” He put his arm around her shoulder so they were close as they walked. “When will the baby be born. I am going to be back, I am.” He says looking into her eyes. “Our child will have both of us to see them into the world.”

He holds her close as they walk. “I am sorry I am leaving, I was going to be missing you and know I will miss you all that much more.” He paused the picked her up and held her close as they walked towards their home. He sang to her once again, but this time it was in common and faltering as he translated.

“Unto us a Child is given,
Unto us a life is born.
Praise and Joy fill my hearts.
Blessings be upon this woman,
For As A Goddess she is.

Unto us a Child is given,
Unto us a life is born.
My soul is full and Bright
May my Love be known
For Woman and Child.

Unto us a Child is given,
Unto us a Life is born.
Give me strength
Father , Mother of our race
To give them my love.

He looked into her eyes. His arms were strong but gentle around her.

"Unto us a Child is Given
Unto us a Life is born.
Glory be upon my woman
Honor forever her name
For She has Given her best.

He stops and says in her ear. "I love you."

[Kail D'Rea]

Carefully, Kail started to sort through her feelings. She was still upset and unhappy, but she knew Tiath’s words should have helped; should have calmed her fears and let her just be happy with him again, but they didn’t. Certainly, things were better now than a minute ago. Taith was able to say he was really happy about a baby in a more genuine sounding voice. He seemed to at least want to be here when she arrived. She was still settled against him, so his intent, at least, was clear and matched what he said. She reminded herself again that Taith was always honest with her. That she could accept what he said. Still, while her mind believed, she couldn’t stop her feelings, and they were not happy.

Knowing that this was his second response, that he’d had to think about what she had said before he could be happy made it less genuine, somehow. That her thought were more analytical and able to see things this way both help, and hurt Kail. While glad that her mind was taking over and letting her be a bit more objective, it also meant her assessment was more likely to be accurate, and it still wasn’t one she liked.

Kail listened to the words of Taith’s song as the resonated out over the still beach and gentle water. They were soothing and calming and let her move forward in the process of relaxing and letting her mind persuade her how to feel, rather than just following her instincts. Maybe should would be able to shake off her feelings of abandonment and disappointment, eventually. For now though, it was clear that she had let some of her emotions slip through to Taith and she needed to stop. Everything needed to be positive and happy for him in these last few days. She desperately needed him to want to return here. She focused on that effort and forced her body to relax and her face to hold a smile. She focused her mind on good memories and happy days and nights, so that she could get those feeling for real and just be happy enough to let it appear in her eyes. There were good times, good memories and especially hope for a future she wanted. She pictured this as there wedding spot and finally, she felt the state of her mind matched the happiness her face was showing. She looked up into Tatih’s eyes with a smile that was real and a hope that matched.

[Taithrosa Eldytia]

Taithrosa suspected that Kail wasn’t completely better, but she was better he knew he needed to keep showing her how he felt over the next few days. He was going to miss her and miss the experience of her pregnancy. He held her close in his arms as he carried her towards the house that they used. His silver eyes looked into her eyes and saw happiness and hope. His eyes also showed happiness, he knew she would be here waiting for him and that he would return to her.

Taithrosa had spent the past couple of years with the konti and was beginning to understand that they just didn’t expect there men to stay around. He was sure that Kail had been taught that all of her life. So far as Taith could tell Kail hadn’t ever seen her father and didn’t really know anything about him. He wondered how much that made her nervous.

He wondered what they would have? He knew that the child would be Akalak, Konti, or a hybrid of the two races. Depending on the nature of the child would affect several things. With either a hybrid or an Akalak, Taith would need to watch the child for the emergences of its other soul and make sure she wasn’t harmed, Taith felt that could be helped by teaching Kail what she needs to watch out for. He had complete faith in his small wife. She was the mother of their child and she was strong enough to raise the child, and he would be there to help her raise the child. He wasn’t sure about how to help raise an Konti child but he wanted Kail to teach him.

There was a certain amount of excitement in waiting to see what would happen. As they came upon the house they lived in Taithrosa gentle set Kail down and taking her hand they continued to walk towards the house. So much possible in the future. He looked down and smiled with his lips and eyes at the woman in his arms. “What are some names you like?”

[Kail D'Rea]

There were many things that Taith could have said as the oddly matched couple walked along. Asking about a name was not what Kail expected. On Mura, naming a daughter was a special, but fairly simple task. Names were short and not as important as the person who bore them. She had considered names she liked in passing in her time growing up. When she was a child she had loved the name Reah and still did, in a way. At the same time, as the first birth of a new generation of her family it might also be appropriate to name her K’Dee, after her first name and her mothers. Kail had been given her mother’s and grandmother name D’Rey, but as time when on everyone she knew started to call her Kail and it stuck. These were easy answers and either name would be fine, if they ended up with a daughter.

Considering other names was a bit beyond her. She didn’t know Akalak naming traditions and wasn’t sure if a son would be named for his father or what. She was suddenly very curios about it. Kail explained the naming traditions of the Konti to Taith, then told him the names that she liked for a daughter, but included that she didn’t know what to do for a little boy. “What do they do among Akalaks?” she asked. “And would you use a modern system, or something older? Or can we name a boy whatever we like? Would it be a problem when he goes among other Akalaks if he doesn’t have a name like theirs? Could we name him for you?”

Before even giving him a chance to answer Kail burst out, “Oh Taith, what will I do if we don’t have a little girl? I’ve always wanted a little girl and I know what I would do and how I would help her grow, but a boy? I’m just not at all prepared for that.” Kail stopped and buried her face in Taith’s arm. As her face was only just higher than her elbow, it was a rather uncomfortable position, but it was the closest available spot, so she used it. “What if I can’t do it? What if I don’t love a little boy? Can’t we just have a girl?” It came out almost as a wail as Kail addressed things she hadn’t been able to face by herself, so hadn’t addressed. They were real fears and she hoped she could sort it all out before the baby came, but maybe Taith could help her feel better now.

[Taithrosa Eldytia]

Taithrosa listened as Kail explained the naming conventions for the Konti woman of Mura. It was actually similar to the naming convention of the Akalaks from his previous life. The combining of names appears to have stretched across the years. He looked over at his live his head titled just a bit as he thought, K’dee. He looked at her and smiled. “I like the sound of the name.” Taithrosa as the etheafel wasn’t could think of having either gender, but the Akalak half was still recovering from the fact that this child could be Konti, Akalak, or something in between.

He looked over at Kail as she asked about Akalak naming systems. He was about to answer that he didn’t know what the modern naming system was could only tell her what the ancient system was, when she continued and opened up her heart to him about her fears. She like him had a mind set that this is what type of child I will have and prepared for it. She was worried about not loving her child.

Taithrosa walked beside her as she finished speaking of her concerns and was quiet a moment longer organizing his thoughts, not to long just that brief period that said he was taking her questions seriously and wanted to give her a serious answer. When he spoke it was gentle with understanding in his voice.

“Kail I know you and I know that you will love our child regardless of weather or not we have a boy or a girl.” He told her in all seriousness. “I can understand your fears. Your have only seen girls raised, and don’t have any experiences with boys. I don’t have any understanding with girls.” He smiled at her. “Then add to that they are different races. You will be great regardless of what which you have. The basics will be the same, love and care, patcients and understanding. We will be there to teach each other the specifics of the race. I will need to learn about raising a Konti daughter." He leaned down and kissed her. "I know that you are still nervous and afraid, but that is what will make you such a great mother."

[Kail D'Rea]

Tears filled her eyes as Kil listened to the kind and gentle words of her baby's father. She felt gratitude for his reassurance and caring, but she still didn't feel any better. With Taith gone, she would be on her own with a boy and she felt completely lost. Even if he were to get back on time and be here from the first moment, it was still her job as a mother to be primarily responsible for her children’s up-bringing, and she wanted the help of all of her family and community to get it right, an Akalak child just wouldn't allow for that. Taith could be her help and support, if he came back, but he couldn't replace the community of fellowship surrounding a girl child.

On the other hand, having a father and a mother might really be a benefit to the baby, maybe even enough to outweigh the costs. She just wished, wished, wished she knew what the baby would be. If she could be sure it wasn't a boy, or be sure Taith would come back, it would be all right. But the possibility of raising an Akalak child on her own was impossible. She would have to find help, and leaving home alone with just her baby was equally terrifying. She knew it didn't help to worry about it. She couldn't know and expecting the worst didn't help anybody, but the fear was still there and very real.

"Thank you Taith," she said, looking up at him with a smile behind her tears. "I 'm so glad to have you with me for this. I'm sure it will be fine." Kail hoped saying the words would make them true. It did, at least, make her feel a little better. She gave a little nod. "Yes, it will be fine." She paused a minute, then remembered where they had been in the conversation. "Yes, so. Names?"

[Taithrosa Eldytia]

The worry about the gender of the child was fairly seriou since it would be of one race or the other and that would make things more difficult since the races would be different. Taithrosa was sure though that they could work through the troubles together and that her family would come to love what ever child they had. The silver eyed man looked at the woman he loved and smiled gentle at her as she returned to the conversation about names. "Akalaks tend to merge parts of the parents name to make the childs name. Some options are Kirose for a girl, Tathail for a boy. Umm what are some names you like?"