Completed Letting Go of Anger

[Ricky Maze]

Letting Go Of Anger Part 2.3 of The Part Of Moving On Winter 34th, 512 AV; 22nd bell. As we press on down our wild path we must learn to deal with ourselves, to learn what it is within us that makes us the way we are. It is when we reach this point that we find ourselves halfway down the line, in the ling journey we make to move on. Today was iffy for the fisherman, sure he could've gone back to the cottage but he disliked the idea. Why? Because he didn't wish to feel alone. There was little company he expected to have, unless Hadrian made an unexpected visit of course. What with the passing of his dog Ricky had found that the life of solitude he had before just wouldn't cut it. However there was little point in being angry and even more so going about the town, so Ricky decided to once more pay a visit with an old friend. Kelp Beer. Sure he was suppose to stop but he found it difficult, the temptation to feel the relaxing intoxication as it cleared his mind into a blank page. Such a relaxing indulgence was addictive and he promised himself to stop, or at least cut down on the beverage lest it take his liver. Ricky was wearing his long sleeve shirt under his short sleeve, and the simple coat that helped hold the heat in for the sea bear provided comfort on his trek. That is until he arrived IN the Kelp Bar. The room tempature a dramatic change as if it literally beat the cold out, Ricky began to think he would regret wearing the combination tonight. Taking his coat off he made his way to the bar and dipped his fingers in his pocket, pulling out five silver miza's for a mug of beer. After making the trade he made his way to the back tables, so that he could place his coat on the back seat of one and take a load off while watching the other patrons that were in. There were few tonight of course as people were no doubt terrified of the announement. There had been "signs" of a plague already and they were just now announcing this? The thought made Ricky frown in disdain, but then again it could've also been the drink he took. Kelp Beer had a strange way of making Ricky ever so relaxed, obviously because of the alcohol within it. Yet even when he was relaxed he still felt he could be doing something, either that or just sleeping the intoxication off like he normally did. Either way the man had already had his first drink down and the mug was close to half full now, or was it down to half empty in his case? As much of a light weight he was when he started drinkin Ricky would now need at least one and a half before he was hammered, but tonight he sought only the comfort of a simple drunken state.

[Valo]

Some days, more so than others, Valo had the wish to see the bear man Ricky; and his thought seemed a permanent equilibrium between wanting to look after his friend and not wanting to impose upon him. Of course more often than not, the man didn't seem all too bothered about this frequent meeting of theirs. And having already wondered down to the Grotto with no luck, Valo decided to look in the one other place that sprung to mind instantly. The Kelp Bar. Upon their very first meeting, Ricky had been rendered truly embarrassing by the allure of the familiar salty alcohol; and though Valo presumed he had learned his lesson, it's always better safe than sorry. Besides the two locations weren't that far away, so even if his search would prove unfruitful, it wouldn't be quite a complete waste of time. Valo had a having of strolling Zelitva in search for his friend, though rarely found him for Zeltiva was a large city. Looking for the fisherman in a sea of other fishermen was like looking for a needle in a hay stack. But it didn't really bother the red haired artist that much. Fresh air did him good, shooed him out of the house, took his mind off his work. This searching was also an excuse to prevent his perpetual self alienation as well as being a loyal friend. A way of killing two birds with one stone. Perhaps luck was on Valo's side this time, for the moment he entered the toasty warmth of the Kelp Bar, his eyes fell upon the bear silhouette of Ricky him self. "Ah the fool, the poor lightweight. Does he not know how bad this substance is for his body?" he thought to him self in quite a hypocritical manner. Valo had been known to drink excessively and without hesitation in his past and that had rendered his head harder than a rock and his liver almost completely useless, or so he thought. Biology wasn't his area of interest, but the amount he drank in his youth was truly tremendous. Elegantly striding towards the man, Valo reached over his shoulder and removed the half empty much of Kelp Beer from his band with the words "You should know better than to drink alone." He then examined the item, holding it gracefully in his slender hand as if it was some sort of exquisite mystical substance, an expression of perfect concert; before the entirety of his feature softened and his sharp green eyes melted, settling a warm friendly smile upon the bear man. "Good afternoon Ricky."

[Hadrian]

When Hadrian knocked on his own door, the door to he cottage in which he had lived all through his student days, and Ricko didn't answer, he let himself in with his key just to be sure. From what he understood, Odis had not been a Kelvic, but just a dog. He understood the bond intellectually, and the grief, but perhaps he was just not a pet person. The animals who surrounded him were Kelvics, and so could speak back to him. He wondered if this was some deficiency on his part, but ultimately shrugged his shoulders. Perhaps he would bond to an animal someday and understand. But Ricko wasn't in the cottage, which was hopefully a good sign. After all, he hadn't killed himself. Next he tried the Kelp Bar, knowing he liked to drown his misery in beer. He could only hope this would pass, so Ricko could be gainfully employed and get his life back in order. As much as Hadrian wanted to help, he had an orphanage full of children to take care of, students and regents at the University, and all. He did what he could when he could, but Ricko was an adult so he didn't always come first. When he got himself inside, he quickly homed in on the familiar aura. There was a thin redhead talking to him, possibly Inarta. Well, it was good he had friends. But Hadrian wondered if he shouldn't let the pair speak, so in that vein, he went to find himself a table, opening his senses to the spiritual world. It might surprise someone to know how often ghosts haunted this place, many of them dead sailors who just wanted a drink and didn't realize they were dead.

[Ricky Maze]

A hand had elegantly glided down and pried the mug out of Ricky's, his eyes followed in a intrigued surprise. "You should know better than to drink alone." Valo was standing above him now, warm smile as he no doubt meant it in a friendly manner. Ricky's agitation fluctuated but was easily dismissed, as he faked a smile in return. "Good afternoon Ricky." "Y...yeah, ye too." He cleared his throught to remove the surprise that remained, offering Valo a seat in a hopeful attempt to cover himself. He was actually rather caught off guard, unsure of what he was feeling right now. He wasn't aware that they were being watched by Hadrian either, as he never noticed Valo was present until the mug was swept away. "I was just uh, takin a load off. Been a busy time ya know..." He tried to reassure the artist, and hoped he at least sounded convincing. He had been doing that a lot too. He had to in order to hide his weakness, his selfish pride thst demanded he remain independent. Demanded that all knew him as independent anyway...

[Valo]

The fisherman's surprise was quite apparent in his very body language, the emotional manifestation within his face and indeed in the very tone of his voice. Never had it been more clear that Ricky was troubled. And Had Valo doubted his senses before - for he hadn't a habit of paying attention to his senses- he was truly sure now. Taking a load off, eh? A calm way of conveying one's inner most turmoil. A pretty silver packaging over something much more depressing. And as Valo took the seat gladly, he spoke in a warm manner. "I hear you friend. But perhaps a good conversation may prove a better relief from that load you carry, than kelp beer. I seem to have made it my goal to break that habit of yours." he smiled. If there had ever a greater manifestation of the selflessness and the care that resided deep within the artist, this was it. What the had not realised however, that another pair of eyes have been upon them. A stranger whom he had not yet met. Eyes that posed little threat yet eyes who subsided to the situation and merely watched. And it is a strange thing, to be watched so secretly. A creepy feeling that the watched him self does not yet know of. A sense that exists, but has not yet been realised. How the conversation would unfold was now not only at Valo's and Ricky's hands but also that thirst pair of eyes that watched.

[Hadrian]

Hadrian left them to their own devices for the time being, claiming for himself a small table. A bar wench came over and promised to bring him back the kelp beer he had requested, and he smiled when she returned, taking a sip of it. Yes, there was a tingle of something dead in the room. Something ghostly. It was faint, not entirely cognizant of itself, so Hadrian just tried to focus on the spirit world. The noise around him became a background buzz of white noise in the meantime, his kelp beer all but forgotten. Soulmist might not be possible to make right now as he wasn't hungry, but perhaps he could build a rapport with the spirit and bring it home, where he could feed it, strengthen it back into consciousness, and then help it resolve its business so it could let go and be reborn in the natural cycle.

[Ricky Maze]

"I hear you friend. But perhaps a good conversation may prove a better relief from that load you carry, than kelp beer. I seem to have made it my goal to break that habit of yours." Valo's smile was proof enough that his heart was set on this, therefore Ricky felt he had little choice in the matter. He sighed and waved a hand as a notion for Valo to take a seat. "Guess yer gonna be set on findin more out, so I'll go ahead and start with the simplest explanaition." He confirmed knowing that Valo would want to hear what troubled Ricky. "Ye already know I lost me dog, who was the closest brother I ever had honestly. Since then I've come to... "face the truth" really. I've just been so pissed really, ya know. There could of been ways to handle that situation and not lost Odis. Which is why I hate myself mostly and blame myself for...." His voice faded out at what came next, his mind not ready to release what it held onto for so long. "for..." He sighed as he put more effort into finally getting this next part out. "For failing my friend..." There was a bitterness that seemed to reside but slowly it started to lift, yet anger still clung to his core with it's iron grip. It had taken a while for such anger to finally cool down, but slowly and steadily that anger was forging a wall. A fortress of iron that represented his will, his ability to keep out everyone; even if he wanted to let few people in. It was an proceas that had felt impossible to stop really, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find it in him to stop being mad. "I've felt like a disappointment for the longest time now, even though I've done everything I can to help the city. No matter how hard I convince myself that I'm protectin Zeltiva, that failure still holds me down to this very moment..." Ricky sighed once more, and wondered what it was Valo now thought. Ricky was still unaware of Hadrian being nearby.

[Valo]

Valo's expression was neutral but his eyes became soulful and soft as he listened to Ricky's words, gentle and subtle nods to communicate that he understood what the fisherman spoke. And perhaps Valo had never felt the same sorrow that his friend has, but he was very much capable of empathy. Being a man of all too vivid an imagination, it wasn't hard to imagine the strife. And whereas any other man would think it silly to mourn so deeply for a dog, an animal, Valo had mingled with the Drykas long enough to understand that species or race did not matter. A bond between two creatures was a bond, regardless of anything and severing that very bond would carve deep wounds in the hearts of those who still lingered in this world. And Ricky was a wounded man, not in body but in spirit. For a moment Valo imagined him self in Ricky's shoes and the thought was so horrifying that it was immediately discarded. For is the same fate was to befall Besnik, the perky Kelvic whom the artist had grown so fond of, his life would never be the same. A thought too terrible to ponder. "I've felt like a disappointment for the longest time now, even though I've done everything I can to help the city. No matter how hard I convince myself that I'm protection Zeltiva, that failure still holds me down to this very moment..." sighed Ricky. "You blame the blood of Odis on your hands." spoke Valo after a moment of gathering up his reply. For Ricky was in a fragile state and care must be taken when addressing a fragile man, for one step out of place and the man may break. But at the same time there was something very important that he had to communicate. And thus he had to retain a degree of blunt honesty. "And for that you are wrong my friend. For there is no one other to blame than the cruel hand that had extinguished his flame too soon. You have not failed your friend, rather his love for you was too strong to allow you to end up in his place. Thus do not let his sacrificial bring you pain but rejoice in the very love that Odis had for you." "You say there were things you could have done differently." continued Valo ever so softly. "But there is a reason that events have turned out the way they had and that's because there was no other way. Do not dwell on the past my friend but strive to correct the future. What you are doing for Zeltiva is truly noble." The word 'truly' was especially articulated with a subtle accentuation upon it. He really did hope that the fisherman understood his words and took them for what they were; the honesty of a heart who merely wanted to help. "I will not lie and pretend like I know your paint, for no one does. But I fear for you my friend and I wish you don't drive your self insane for you are not to blame in all of this."

[Hadrian]

Hadrian smiled distractedly when the wench brought him his beer. He drank it, of course, and rather quickly, the only real physical thing he was doing as his mind was bent toward conversing with the ephemeral spirit. When he was done with his drink, he didn't order another, but got up to leave. Ricko seemed to be in good hands, which was why he had followed in the first place, and now there was this wisp of a thing that needed some care and feeding to coalesce, deal with its business, and continue on to its next lifetime. Finally, Hadrian departed. OOC Note : I'm so sorry I got so backlogged, y'all. Since Hadrian hasn't engaged with either of you, I'm just going to have him exit so you can write faster without me. I've already got several threads with Ricko going, but if Valo wants to meet Hadrian, we can make it happen! Sorry again!

[Ricky Maze]

"You blame the blood of Odis on your hands." Valo now seemed to finally understand, yet what he had to say was unexpected for Ricky. "And for that you are wrong my friend. For there is no one other to blame than the cruel hand that had extinguished his flame too soon. You have not failed your friend, rather his love for you was too strong to allow you to end up in his place. Thus do not let his sacrificial bring you pain but rejoice in the very love that Odis had for you." There was a truth about Valo's words that seemed actually cynical to Ricky, causing the man to diadainfully frown in silence. It was indeed very true and wise for Valo to speak those words, but at a time such as this Ricky didn't seem in the mood to accept such words. Thus Valo continued. "You say there were things you could have done differently, but there is a reason that events have turned out the way they had and that's because there was no other way. Do not dwell on the past my friend but strive to correct the future. What you are doing for Zeltiva is truly noble." He spoke as if Ricky was noble, when the man himself felt lower than (for the lack of a better word) shit nowadays. He truely found that he wasn't worthy of being noted as "noble" in any way, he just sought something to protect in a world where he had pretty much nothing left. Such was the way of a desperate man, who had felt as though he had fallen to the bottom. "I will not lie and pretend like I know your pain, for no one does. But I fear for you my friend and I wish you don't drive your self insane for you are not to blame in all of this." It was then Ricky looked at Valo in the eye, a serious look that showed he was in fact listening but the words spoken weren't clear. Something wouldn't allow him to keep an open mind like he used to, and that in turn shut out the ability to accept wisdom as it came. His mind knew only the same anger that had hung around the past few weeks, and it was time to let it go if at all possible. "Valo..." A moment of silence as his eyes seemed to be rather blank. "Don't worry yer self with my issues." It was a blunt sentence with a blank tone, a definite sign that Ricky was through dealing with this business.