Tatiam's notebook

by **Tatiam** on February 3rd, 2013, 7:46 pm

Letters to Tatiam may be posted here, as she will keep them in her notebook.

by **Tatiam** on February 20th, 2013, 9:14 am

67th day of Winter, 512 AV

I destroyed that piece today. It was from another dream...... But I feel like keeping the scene in mind, so I'll draw it here, in case I want t... Ah, whatever, soon the original will be in the hearth of the Rearing Stallion, burning and turning to ashes. Good riddance.

This is just for me, to remember all of that.

Secret :

by **Tatiam** on March 7th, 2013, 6:50 pm

10th day of Spring, 513 AV

I have to write, before this feeling fades like every other one. I can hardly hope that my words will have the adequate meaning now, let alone later when it’s nothing more than a memory.

Five years since I've seen their faces. Three last I've seen my first... friend. Two seasons in Syliras. And I find myself wondering if any of those lapses of time mean anything. The drive, the fire left some time ago, and the urge to quench the ashes with ale and mind-numbing entertainment grows.

The rent is due and this independent woman wants nothing more than to climb inside a bottle and never see anyone again. Aside from me, and one person in my life, no one else knows that I've joined the illustrious ranks of the ~~cr...~~ crooked. After hours of drinking with one of my best pal, I didn’t say a word about it. No one can know, yet this... pretending, it doesn't make me... Me.

Sympathy won’t help. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. That’s more than I can take right now and I already cried on the way home.

And I know I couldn't stand it if anyone else says anything, asks me if I’m okay, or if there’s anything they can do. Just like I know that tomorrow, I’ll crawl out of my bottle and kick the shyke out of a new day... that will probably end the same place it began... the bottom of an empty bottle.

by **Tatiam** on March 12th, 2013, 3:34 pm

20th day of Spring, 513 AV

This isn't working...

I'm tired, I can't deal with this, I'm just too tired. I want to stop it. Life, time, breathing, sounds, the pounding of my heart. I want it all to freeze. These shivers inside, this world that won't stop bringing new things at my door, everyday. Stop knocking. Stop asking. I'm not here. I'm gone, I'm not here anymore, leave me alone.

Silence is all I have got left. Pure, absolute deep silence. I'm empty.