Everything Right is Wrong Again (Nel + Murdoch)

[Murdoch]

Murdoch's eyes narrowed as he finally realized what exactly was happening here. Something went cold behind his eyes, and then flamed up as hot as molten rock.

"So I'm a slave now," he said, lip curling in disgust. "I fight for you until I can't fight anymore, and then you sell me off to some cockshyke who doesn't care quite so much about keeping me in one piece. I'm a gods-damned slave," he hissed, jaw clenching closed as his arms tightened around Nel. He could feel his heart hammering, slower than he'd have predicted but so loud it nearly drowned out his words. Threats laid heavy on his tongue, and though he didn't say them they lay thick in the air between them - one day, one day he would reign down hell upon Tall Johnny even if he had to tear this casino down with his bare hands.

But Nel was still here, and he'd no question that if he refused to fight it'd be her skin that felt it. So he held his tongue, and just slid his hands down Nel's arms before tucking him against her side and twining his fingers with hers. "Fine," he hissed around his teeth. "Fine. Just send someone when it's time for me to fight, you petching monster." And with that he steered the Konti girl towards the door. "Take me to your room," he whispered against her hair, eager to be out of Johnny's presence; though the worst of his temper had been assuaged by Leo's magic, there was a point at which even a healthy man would snap, and Murdoch had reached that point.

[Nel Sayo]

Nel was shocked that Murdoch hadn't already scrambled over Tall Johnny's desk to rip his face off. When he just pulled her closer, she simply obliged, pressing her cheek to his chest. Could hear how his heart pounded within his rib cage. Slavery, well, that she understood. Biting back a sigh, she just let Doc's fingers tangle into hers, only half-listening once she knew what was going on. She'd already been a slave in her life; she had no intention of enduring that sort of existence again. And Nel had faith -- faith in something, anything, bigger than herself, bigger than all of Mizahar, something that might know even an ounce of mercy. She held onto that faith, grappled it fiercely, knowing she'd need it in the coming days. She moved mechanically, rather than really thinking about it, when Murdoch nudged her into walking. When he instructed her to take him to her room. She did, but she didn't say anything, because she wasn't sure what was left to be said. What might be comforting or helpful, what kind of words could possibly fix this mess. Apologies seemed stupid. Promises even moreso. He was going to fight until he was dead -- although, she supposed, philosophically speaking, everyone did just that, and they called it life. Only some people had to fight longer and harder than others. So she went without another word, and pulled Doc along with her, to the rooms that Johnny had set aside for her use.

[Liminal]

"You laid the groundwork for your own fate," Johnny called out after the departing pair. "If you were going to run away, you should have run much farther, or much more cleverly. Everything comes back in a circle, Murdoch, and if you hadn't started out by trying to take what wasn't yours, you wouldn't be here. If I'm a monster, I'm a monster that you created, my old associate."

END

(though if you two want to talk some more, feel free ^_^)

[Murdoch]

OOC: Sam, we'll keep going on this thread since the season's changed and we can't backdate, but we'll move forward in the other one as well!

When Nel finally closed the door to her room, sealing them away from the world, Murdoch just stood for a moment in the middle of the room, staring blankly at the floor. If Nel were paying enough attention, she might spy the Gnosis mark branded into the back of his neck, hidden by the collar of his shirt until he'd tipped his head forward.

His temper wasn't nearly so volatile now, the tics and flinching burned out of him by the magic of two gods. Normalcy still wasn't quite normal to him, though he'd had half a season to adjust to it. But this was the first time he'd encountered healthy anger since that night at the warehouse, and he was having a hard time figuring out what to do with it.

"I'll get you out of this," he said quietly, the only real promise he could make. "I don't... I'm sorry. I should have left Syliras after you had that dream. I thought it'd be enough." And yet, here he was - a slave though he wore no shackles yet. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around that part. "Johnny's right about that. I dug my own grave here," he sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair.

[Nel Sayo]

Once they were alone in the suite, she turned on her heel to say something to him, but he spoke first. And afterward, she just stared at him. Monsters, she wanted to say, are not created by anybody, they just are, and one has to be put into his own grave before he's truly dead. But she didn't say those things, because she didn't want to get smacked in the face again, and whether he was more or less volatile because he had some stupid mark on his neck or not, she didn't care. He was still Murdoch, and he'd shove her around if he needed to take his anger out on someone. It was only a matter of time. “You're stupid,” she said, instead, which was not unlike the last thing she'd said to him, as he kicked her out of his apartment. With that, she tightened her jaw against the incredible desire to just burst into tears, and walked away from him, into the bathchamber, slamming the door with a resounding wham as she went. Then she sank to the tiled floor and put her head in her arms, and just tried to breathe through the incomprehensible combination of anger and panic and disbelief that swarmed in once she was alone.

[Murdoch]

Doc's eyes lifted when she spoke, and her familiar reprimand brought a smile to his lips - dry and soft, but a smile nonetheless. Even more so because he heard the truth behind her statement, what she meant by it. They'd been apart as long as they'd been together, but that time hadn't at all diminished the effect she had on him. They'd been fools then, each pretending what they needed to to get through the day. Doc had been pretending that he didn't need her. He wondered, in that moment, what Nel had been pretending.

He started to reach out towards her, but she stormed out and into the bathroom, slamming the door hard enough to make her point clear. She wanted to be alone, probably needed time to process what was going on. Murdoch just sighed to himself and shook his head.

He unstrapped the pack from his back and laid it on the floor beside the bed, then kicked off his boots and placed them at the foot - just as he always did at home. His daggers were pulled from their hiding places, one going under his pillow, the other in his empty boot. Then his shirt, folded neatly and settled on the mantle, followed by his belt. Rituals, habits, things that had always calmed him before and still did, though he was in less danger of a complete mental breakdown now.

But he was still Doc, no matter that he wasn't the broken version she'd first known, and he was never any good at letting things lie. And so he employed a bit of stealth and silently pushed the open the door to the bathing chamber, slipping inside on bare feet to see where she was.

When he saw her curled up in a ball on the floor, something tightened in his chest and he had to hold back a sigh. He slunk across the room, coming up beside her, and quietly sank into a seat beside her. "I can't believe you haven't hit me yet," he said, a hint of a smile in his voice as if trying to tease her out of whatever despair she might be in.

[Nel Sayo]

“Yeah, well,” she mumbled into her arms. “You're gonna get hit an awful lot soon enough.” She curled a little more tightly into herself when he settled beside her, long limbs and firm muscle tensing against whatever comfort he might have been about to offer. It had been different, in Johnny's office, because he'd surprised her. Now she was better prepared to resist being coddled or cuddled or cooed into feeling better. She just pressed her forehead into her arm and wouldn't lift her head. And if he asked, she'd have admitted to hating him a little bit. Maybe she needed him too, but she hated him then, because she could blame him for quite a few things gone terribly wrong, not the least of which was that she'd been brought here, and alone, and no matter how nice it had all been, she'd been by herself and she wouldn't have been, had he been braver. And she knew he was brave – she hated him for refusing to be brave for her. Because she would have been brave for him. One pale hand wound up, and made a shooing motion. “Just leave me alone,” she said. And then, after a moment, added, “You're good at that.”

[Murdoch]

Doc gave a tiny grunt, as if her accusation had hit him in the gut, but he didn't move. The twitch of a smile fell away, though, and he sighed as he settled an elbow on his knee and then propped his cheek on a balled fist. Well. So it'd be a fight first, then.

"Yep, I'm pretty much the top-dog at abandoning you. Which is why I figured you'd be hitting me right now. I certainly didn't think you'd be in here moping. Crying I could understand, I mean this is a pretty stressful situation, but this whole surly-emo thing just doesn't suit you."

[Nel Sayo]

She sniffed, and just shoved suddenly up to her feet. The movement was swift and graceful, an unraveling of tightly coiled limbs, and then she twisted about and kicked him, hard, in the side. Knuckling tears out from beneath her eyes, she growled down at him, “Happy now?” Before turning to flee the bathroom. If he wouldn't leave her alone, she'd run. He'd always wanted her to run, had always pushed her away, and if that's what he wanted so badly, she'd oblige him. Let him get beaten to death all by his damned self, then, if he was going to push her to be angry and mean. Maybe it made him feel better, but it just knotted a ball of shame in her belly because she couldn't bare to hurt people just to get through a day. Rage didn't suit her either, nor did cruelty.

[Murdoch]

He grunted in pain when she kicked him, losing his breath for a moment, but as she turned to run he reached out and caught her ankle in an unyielding hand. "Wait," he hissed, grabbing at her as he scrambled to his feet, first her legs and then around her waist as he struggled to keep her still. "Don't, Nel, wait - I'm sorry," he growled, swinging her around to face him. "I'm sorry, gods damn it, I know I've ruined everything. Ruin us both, and I can't keep making excuses about how I thought I was doing the right thing. I was stupid, and a coward, and I should have let you in. I know that this is all my fault and I'm sorry," he breathed, and the madness and irrational anger that once would have lit his eyes was replaced with regret. "Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me how you want me to fix this. Because all I can think about right now is how happy I am that he's not going to kill you," he said, his voice breaking just a little at the last.