PM to join Artwork with Another [Lenell Belleste]

[Lexa Maze]

35th day of Spring 513AV Lexa opened her eyes slowly. She let them focus and then rolled onto her side, pulling the covers around herself more tightly, unwilling to rise just yet. Her dream had been of Eida, the beautiful she had met one night, a night that still felt like it never happened, like it was imagined. She had been lovely. In the dream, she had just stood there, smiling, telling Lexa she could achieve anything she set her mind to. Eventually, Lexa rose from the bed. She walked over to her dresser, and put on her clothes slowly, running through her head was conversations with people she had in the past. On her mind were Eida, Amon, and Mortuus. Three very different people, of course. People she wanted to see again. But maybe it was time for a new face. At any rate Lexa felt good today. She had a fresh set of clothes, and a fresh outlook on the day ahead. She had lots of inspiration, this seemed to come to her in the mornings. So Lexa, sporting a blouse, and a pair of good quality black trousers, and her new boots, she made her way towards the harbour. She stopped for breakfast at the Inn and then decided to try a new outlet other than ink. She wanted to attempt painting. So Lexa headed over to the general store to buy a few paints, and a pallet and canvas. With these things at her disposal, she would stroll down to the docks. Living day to day in this city, trying to get over her constant regrets and problems of the past and start anew was challenging. But Lexa had met, if only briefly, several people who had opened her eyes, whom she hoped to meet again one day. She ambled down to where she could see the sea. She stopped and stared at it a moment before stepping out onto a boardwalk and setting her small canvas on her lap. Now what should she paint? She wanted it to be good. She only had one canvas after all. Lexa brought out her sketchbook and sketched a few quick glances at the sea. She drew a seagull on a post. She drew a wave crashing onto the sand. She drew a fisherman out on his boat, reeling in a big catch. All observations of this city she was living in. After a few sketches, she still hand figured what she wanted to paint. Maybe something would happen to give her inspiration. Who knows. Lexa wasn't complaining anyway. It was a nice morning, and she would think of something.

[Lenell Belleste]

Lenell's eyes shot open as the sunlight hit them. She sat up quickly, books and papers scattering from her bed to the floor. She had overslept. She had missed her normal breakfast time. She had let her candle burn down to nothing. She had....

She sank her head down into her hands. She had fallen asleep studying for the third night in a row, and her dreams had been filled with floating words and spinning pottery tables.

What was she doing to herself, and why? Every day, she bolted all her meals, sitting by herself with her nose in a book. She went back and forth to work, her nose again in a book during all her breaks, then took herself straight to the University pottery studio, always thinking of saving candles by putting in hours while the sun was still shining. Then she holed herself up in the library, near that west facing window where she could catch the last light of the day. (Must save the candles!) Every night before leaving the library, she stopped to meditate at the statues of her chosen goddesses, for surely Qalay would become enraged if she didn't get her daily devotion, and topple a bookshelf onto Lenell's head. Then she made her way back to her room to wash herself, her clothes, hang them to dry, then climb into bed. With her books. Her heavy, serious study books, only and always.

She sighed and lifted her head, then leaned against the wall behind her. Truly? Was this what being in Zeltiva was all about for her? All those years of hoping and studying and scrimping and saving. And here she was, living her life-long dream. And trying hard to turn it into a nightmare.

She wasn't doing anything for the joy of it anymore. She hadn't spent a coin on anything for fun. She'd been lost in fears, the fear of failure driving out her joy in learning and creating, the fear of rejection building walls between her and others, the fear of getting physically trapped or hurt keeping her from exploring the first city she had ever seen except for Syliras.

Well, it was time for this to stop, before she drove herself into the very failure she was striving to avoid. A body, a mind could only work so hard before it broke in some fashion. And there she would be, stuck in an infirmary, sweating with fever. Or scribbling text book quotes on the wall as she gently drooled.

The last image gave her a laugh, and she sprung out of bed to put on her clothes, which hung about drying on every available surface. As she dressed, she promised herself that she would not wash anything tonight, not even herself. She giggled into her hand at the thought, like a child stealing sweets by the handful.

"All right, brain," she said out loud, "today you are not to study, you are not to work or worry, and don't you dare even think about pottery. And if I am stuck here talking to myself, it is your fault, because you will barely give me time to talk to someone else." She grabbed her cane and headed for the door. "We are going to see the sea. And talk to someone new."

Outside, the sun shone warm and bright. She took her time walking, ambled about, sought a bench or a convenient stoop to sit on when her leg needed to rest. Slowly, the lovely salt smell of the ocean grew stronger, till she could hear the waves. The sound gently rocked her overwrought nerves. She sighed in pleasure.

She came to the shore near the foot of a pier. Down its length, she could see a women painting, her dark tresses dancing gayly in the breeze. She began to turn aside and go on, afraid of interrupting important work with her small little self, then remembered her vow to talk to someone new. She walked down the pier as softly as she could.

"Hello?" she said, as she approached the young artist. "I am sorry, I hope I am not bothering you, but your painting is lovely. Do you mind if I stand here? Would it bother you if I watch? Oh, my name is Lenell, by the way."

[Lexa Maze]

Lexa was half way through another drawing, this one was the most complex. It entailed a very small paddle boat on a dead calm sea. There were no waves. The sun peaked through fluffy clouds. Birds seemed to swarm around the boat. Sitting on the boat was a beautiful young lady. Her eyes were covered by a too-big floppy hat, but her smile was clear. All around the calm sea, however, was going to be something quite different. She hadn't drawn it yet. She looked up win the direction of the female voice. Lexa moved over on the pier, patting a space beside her and said "Why don't you sit down." Lexa said, her good mood was still going strong. Lexa continued "My name is Lexa. Nice to meet you Lenell." She faced her canvas. It contained only traces of the rough sketch she had on her paper. She was trying to lay everything out so that she could paint it "I'm new to this still. But i've grown a liking for art. I only have one canvas, so I hope I can get it right." She continued sketching onto the canvas. She drew the woman and the boat, and the calm sea like she had in her book, making sure to leave the parts that she wanted to be lighter, without black ink. Then she would complete the final sketch with the idea she had the first time. The calm sea, the flecks of sunlight, the smiling woman on the rowboat, they were almost in a sort of dome. Outside that dumb, there were giant waves, dark clouds, a storm that would be grave it it were to hit the rowboat. It was they eye of the storm. Lexa put the canvas down a moment to start mixing the colours she would need "Do you have a hobby?" She asked her giving her the faintest hint of a smile.

[Lenell Belleste]

Lenell gratefully took the seat offered her. "Thank you, Lexa. I'm very glad to meet you, too. Hobbies? Well, I love stories, hearing them, reading them, telling them myself when I can. But I actually enjoying drawing, too. Lately, I've been trying to learn to sketch patterns and simple pictures on pottery surfaces--I'm studying pottery at the University. It's been a while though since I just grabbed a piece of paper and sketched for fun. I really should do that. I'm only a beginner myself. I've never even used a canvas yet, unless you count my pottery. I think you're doing well. I wouldn't have guessed you had just started. You must have a natural eye for it."

Lenell looked further, both at Lexa's original sketch and the transfer she was making of it onto her canvas. The piece was very interesting. At the center, calm. A flat ocean, a lovely smiling lady in a small boat. Then came a flock of birds. Those birds drew her eye. There were quite a lot of them, and they didn't seem to share the woman's serenity. A few looked agitated, but the greater number seemed to be experiencing a thrill of excitement about something unseen. They looked so graceful, swift, brave and free, and they reminded her of the artist herself for some reason. Not their looks of course, but their attitudes and movements. She wondered what it was that the birds were reacting to. Was it some surprising element that Lexa was going to place in the now white spaces along the edges?

[Lexa Maze]

"I used to sketch a little when I was younger. My mother liked art too, and instructed me a little, but I hadn't picked up pen and paper for at least a year." She thought about storytelling and writing. That was something she never did. She doubted she'd be any good at it. She didn't have charisma, there was nothing entertaining about her. Writing them down would be easier, she guessed. And pottery at the university. It sounded like this woman hand a nice life. Comfortable. She wondered what it would be like to live like that. It was odd for Lexa that she had been in this place for so long, but she did like it. She liked its people as well. The woman beside her had lovely red hair, and a pretty face. She said "I still haven't visited the university. Taking a few art classes would be nice." Lexa went back to the canvas. Her brow creased in concentration as she sketched a basic outline of the rough and stormy sea all around the calm. She drew the rolling clouds, dark and ominous. More birds flew in the storm, battered around by unseen wind. Wind... that was difficult to portray. You couldn't draw something like that. Swirly lines wouldn't cut it. The haphazardness of the birds helped. Soon after it would be time to paint. She had layer out various mixings of blue, green, grey's. The birds would be seagulls, like she could see around the port. Standing out well against the darkness of the sky. She still hadn't touched her brush to the canvas yet. This was too nerve wracking. She didn't want to mess it up. Maybe she should take a moment to imagine it. "Here is where it's difficult for me to begin. I only have one canvas right now. And mistakes are hard to cover up." She mused.

[Lenell Belleste]

Lenell watched Lexa begin to sketch the clouds into the blank spaces and her questions about the composition were answered. "Oh, that's wonderful. I was wondering what you were going to put in there. I wondered what the birds were reacting to."

She took a look a Lexa's canvas. "I can understand your concerns. The pottery studio is off the art studio at the university, and the other day as I was walking through, I heard the instructor telling a painting student that was having the same problems starting that it was a mistake to see their work as some sacred, unalterable thing, to just get in there and start. She seemed to think that mistakes could be covered up, and I can understand that for lighter colors, but for darker? I don't know. I know the students have more canvases to work with than one. They make their own there, did you know? Nail together the frames, stretch the canvas across it and fasten it tight. And there is some white substance they use to harden the canvas. Perhaps, if they totally mess up a composition, they just swipe it down with that white preparation again. I wish I knew more, but I only know pens and papers, clays and glazes when it comes to art and drawing." Lenell smiled. " Perhaps I can linger a bit longer to spy for you next time I go to class. I mean, I do work in a different studio, but I am officially a student of the art department, so I would be allowed to listen."

Lexa slipped back a bit to give Lexa more space and silence. She didn't seem to be bothering her new artist friend, and Lexa was acting welcoming in a quiet way. But she didn't want to overwhelm one less inclined to talking with her own words.

[Lexa Maze]

"Maybe I over did it with the birds" She said, but her heart soared a bit at the enthusiastic praise the redheaded woman gave her. She certainly was not used to praise. Lexa didn't want to dwell on things from her past right now, but the thing about art, the hardest times in one's life were usually inspiration. This drawing was centred around the time of peace she had experienced when she had escaped her brothers tyranny and had lived and worked in Sylirus. Lexa had paused drawing for a little while, just thinking about this. Then she turned her gaze back on Lenell, listening as she talked. The life she described sounded alien. She imagined the uni to be a nice place though. A place she could meet people with common interests, and improve in this new found love for art. "That all sounds very interesting." Lexa said "I've never painted, just watched my mother paint. She would be able to cover up mistakes, but there was a difficulty to it. It looked frustrating, but when all goes well, it can be quite calming." She smiled at the offer the young lady spoke of. It also hinted at futher meetings. That was a nice thought. A friendship would be nice. Especially a lighthearted one. She seemed to drift into silence after that. Maybe trying to give her some more space. Maybe the woman had noticed her quietness. Truthfully, this was pretty good for one of Lexa's conversations. It was pleasant though. She could almost forget all her worries, sitting by the sea, talking to this lady. Lexa mixed her first blue/green colour, for the sea. She blocked it in at first, then she would begin to change the tone gradually to indicate small ripples coming from the boat. It was not as crisp as she had imagined in her minds eye. But it was never going to be without training of where to put shade and where to but light. this may even be something she could paint again until it was perfect. As she painted, she stole glances at the woman. She searched for something to say to continue the conversation, but nothing came to mind. So she continued painting, to justify her silence. Eventually she would look up and speak again, deciding to inquire about her life a little more "Were you born here in Zeltiva, Lenell?" she asked her "I have been here for a little while now, It seems a nice city. Though I still haven't seen it all."

[Lenell Belleste]

"Oh, no, I'm not from Zeltiva at all, and I only arrived this season. Actually, between my job and my studies," she tapped her booted club foot with her cane, "and my troubles with walking, I haven't seen much of it either, outside of the the University and the buildings on my route to work. I am from Syliras. My family all live there. They run a pottery business. This is the first city I've been to outside of my hometown. Yes, I like the University. The art teacher is wonderful, and the studio is so lovely. I've been....a little too focused on my studies and work, though. But it's so important to me to succeed here. It's that, or end up the old, useless maiden aunt sitting in a corner of another's home till I die."

She watched Lexa as she dabbed blue/green waves onto the canvas. "That's a lovely color. Your mother must have taught you about mixing paints, yes? I learned from my family as well, though things were a bit different. My mother made especially fine vases. She could sculpt or draw just about anything onto one. She would let me copy the images on paper or spare bits of broken packing crates."

She looked down at Lexa's original sketch again. "I don't think you overdid it on the birds. They are my favorite part. Of course, all this is coming from inside you, so you should just follow your gut on that."

Lenell leaned back, and glanced quickly at Lexa. She was lovely and her features were so unique, exotic even to such a "stay at home" as Lenell had always been. It was only polite to ask about where she was from as well, and Lenell was certainly curious about her new friend, but instinct told her to tread carefully. She arranged her inquiry in her head the best that she could before speaking. "I don't mean to pry, surely, and of course I understand that you need to focus on your painting here, but where do you come from, if I may ask? You need not answer, of course." She stared out over the waves, thinking Oh, yes, Lenell. That was very smooth. She made sure not to sigh though, and schooled her face into a gentle smile. No sense making her stumbling tongue any worse by grimacing at her own verbal clumsiness.

[Lexa Maze]

Lexa seemed to notice the cane to much before now. Or at least she hadn't really thought much of it. She imagined herself with an injury like that. She felt sorry for the girl. It must be difficult living like that. It would be beyond contemptible for herself. Lexa wondered if she was born with it or if she had somehow permanently injured herself but felt at a loss for words to ask such a thing of her. She admired the woman's resolve though. She admired her efforts to travel to Zeltiva and study so she could make a life for herself that she wanted. "I admire your resolve. I'm sure you'll achieve whatever you set out to." Lexa gave her a smile "No limitations will stop you from achieving all you can" 'my gut' Lexa thought. She's right, i'm just doubting myself."My mother had little time on her hands, but when she did paint, she would explain what she was doing as I watched. IT wasn't all too often." Lexa looked back to her pallet rather thankful for the distraction it provided her so she wouldn't have to look up as often. Lexa smiled at nothing in particular. THis question was often asked of her. "No problem, You aren't prying." she said reassuringly "I was born in Nyka, our family travelled around all the time though, I can't pinpoint one place that we stayed the most. It was mainly the Syliran region, however. I should have been to all the cities in this region by now. Some of them were when I was young, and I can't remember them as clearly. This place would be one such city, as I hardly remember it at all" Lexa could say this. It was leaving out many blanks. In face, she was probably giving this woman an image of a nice traveling family. Or maybe it was weird for a family to move around so much. Lexa fretted over this a moment, but managed to keep her face neutral as she painted colour into the calm ocean on her canvas. As Lexa painted, she wondered about the woman. She seemed studious, and driven, it was admirable to see someone who knew what she wanted from life. Someone with a calling. Someone unlike herself. She couldn't think how to move the conversation forward. After a little while she settled on another question "What was your home life like before you moved here, Lenell?" She asked gently. Lexa missed out on being a child really, so she enjoyed hearing about other peoples lives. It also steered the topic away from her own life.

[Lenell Belleste]

Lenell felt an inner glow at Lexa's encouraging words about her ability to accomplish. She had heard them from her family, especially her grandmother, and she tried to repeat them to herself often, but they meant a great deal coming from someone else. She felt a bit of envy that the girl had been able to travel so much...she had always wanted to herself. But then, who could tell? Every life had good, had bad. It was no use envying another. You never knew what things had been really like for them.

"Oh, my life was nothing special, of course. Some parts were great, some parts not so great. My family were very good, annoying sometimes, but good. There are so many of them. My family have been in Syliras for several generations, and all of them live close to one another and work in the family business. I have uncles, aunts, tons of cousins it seems. I have a brother and a sister. My parents are kind, protective, sometimes overprotective of course. I think I understand that a bit more though. It must be hard to have a child born with a deformity as I was. My grandmother, she's great. She's the one who taught me to love stories. She knows so many of them."

She spent a few moments watching Lexa paint more, smiling at how pleased her new friend looked as she worked. "I am glad I had my family, though. I found it hard to make friends with my foot the way it is. It's funny, but I think I was born into just the wrong financial class to make friends in. The poor...I don't think they would've cared so much. And the rich? Well, as long as we had lots of money, I don't think anything else would have mattered. But the "working towards middle" class. Well, they all used to be poor and have fought their way up hard, so they are all so careful to do nothing that might reflect bad on themselves or their families. I do understand. They want an even better life for their children. But it did isolate me from my peers. And I never got to travel. I have always wanted to do that."

She watched Lexa paint some more. "You'll have to forgive me....I do talk a great deal once I get started, I know. How old are you, Lexa? I'm nineteen.We must be close in age, I think."