Shadow And Doubt (Kellan pls)

[Lyra]

Location: Courtyard of the Sky Timestamp: Early Summer, 510 AV For days she had already been in Wind Reach, but still she hadn’t gotten accustomed to the strange architecture of the place. She seemed to get lost whenever she tried to go on a stroll and admire the landscape. It almost felt as if the place didn’t want her to get too comfortable. Bad thoughts. However, the ethereally beautiful Ethaefal continued wandering the streets since she hadn’t found any other pastime she might have enjoyed doing. The home of the Inarta sure was an amazing place. Built on and in the rocky walls of a volcano the city featured great heights as well as dark depths. There were windy look-outs, terraces and squares graced by Syna’s light for the entire day, and then there were holes and caves reaching deep into the ground, filled with stalagmites and stalactites and hot water and blue light. It wasn’t difficult for Lyra to decide which part of the city she liked more. She hadn’t received any sign or message from her Lady at all … which kind of worried her. But then it was possible that Syna simply tested her faith. Just a few days ago Lyra had been close to Her, had felt Her thoughts and emotions radiating in the divine realm, but now she found herself chained to the ground, not even close to the sun she had once been a part of. As a minion of Syna she had existed in the Ukalas. What was she now? The word Ethaefal wasn’t really an appropriate description since it only described her fall. A mere echo of the past. The present stretched out in front of her like a distant, empty desert she couldn’t comprehend. Although she had been speaking with humans, observing their society and how they treated and grew animals and plants and their connection with nature, she felt nothing. No sense of belonging. During the night she felt more bound to the earth she was walking on, but still her looks, skills and memory separated her from the others. Perhaps she had to move on, find the ones she once lived with – find the Chaktawe. However, a tiny voice inside her suggested that they, too, might have changed. And Lyra hadn’t yet mustered enough self-confidence to willingly confront herself with the changes. This was already enough. So the Ethaefal continued wandering – or rather, climbing – the streets of Wind Reach, drawing admiring glances. She visibly didn’t belong to their world, with the shimmering white horns pointing skyward. She was dressed in clothes that had clearly been given to her by an Inarta woman, but her vibrant golden skin and brown hair with golden highlights capturing the sun seemed too extraordinary to be mortal. Citrine eyes were searching for something, ever searching. And what did they find this time? Several bells after sunrise she came across a large square that bustling with activity. Apparently it served as a meeting and interaction place for the citizenry. Lyra, however, didn’t consider herself part of the crowd. Slowly she walked until reaching the center of the square. Then, just because she felt like it, she raised her arms to the sky. Syna’s touch upon her skin almost felt as if She was hugging her fallen child again. Almost.

[Kellan Lucia]

Kellan was walking through Wind Reach enjoying the warmth that came with the first thaw. Summer was slowly creeping in and even though it was nice he missed the winter. He always loved the snow and the frosty weather. Still, the thaw brought a lot of good things like the first thaw festival and the fact that non-riders could leave the city to see the world on the outside of the mountain. He could tell the eagles also enjoyed this warm weather. They seemed to be happier and more energetic when the thaw started. Kellan was talking a break from the aeries and his bonding with Alwin to take a walk. As he walked he pondered over where he would go. He decided to make that decision while he walked. Today Kellan was wearing a simple outfit, a loose pair of long shorts and a loose short sleeved button up shirt. He was wearing his usual assortment of necklaces, bracelets, and anklets. He had also braided in small beaded braids sparingly through his shaggy red hair. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top showing his tattoo on his chest that read "The sun will still rise tomorrow". As he walked he felt the wind blowing through his hair and he breathed in. He knew where he would go. He started to walk to the Courtyard of the Sky for one simple reason, so he could see the sky. He wanted to up in the clouds flying but of course, he still did not have an eagle of his own. He hoped that Alwin would choose him but Beau was an equal competitor and Alwin could choose either. Kellan couldn’t help wanting to be up in the sky though. He felt like he belonged there which was why he went to the courtyard of the sky so much. It was the closest he could be to the sky without being in it of course. He walked in and saw a few people gathered enjoying the summer sun. One person stuck out from the Inarta who were collected there. She stood out for many reasons. Her dark skin, her brown hair, and her blonde highlights made her stick out because it was obvious she was not Inarta. What really made her stick out was that she was unbelievably beautiful, no breathtakingly beautiful. Of course Inarta girls were beautiful with their fair skin and their flaming red hair but there was something very different about this girl. He couldn’t put his finger on it though. He watched her as she stood in the sun, smiling like she was at home in the warm rays. He walked up to her slowly, almost afraid that she would vanish and placed his hand on her shoulder. ”You are new around here aren’t you?” He asked with a smile. It was obvious that she was not from around Wind Reach. There was no way she was Inarta but he didn’t want to come off as being cocky. He held out his hand ”I’m Kellan by the way. In training eagle rider of Wind Reach. What about you?” he asked.

[Lyra]

At the sudden touch from behind Lyra spun around and let her arms sink to her sides.

The question thrown at her remained unanswered, as she took it for a rhetoric one. Obviously she didn’t belong to Wind Reach. Her opponent did though. He was an interesting young man, with the typical fiery red hair of the Inarta braided in several places and warm golden eyes. His smile was an accumulation of all the friendliness she had experienced so far, with the only difference that he seemed to hold no prejudice, no cautiousness at all against her. Coupled with other observations, that fact made Lyra come to the conclusion that he was still at the edge between child and adult. His body language told her that she could trust him. Not that she had anything to hide.

Bright citrine eyes met his golden ones when she boldly stared back and then let her gaze wander over his body. They stopped briefly at the tattoo displayed on his chest. “The sun will still rise tomorrow.” What a fitting statement. A fleeting smile wandered over her golden features, gone as fast as a light breeze. The outstretched hand grasped her attention. Was that the way strangers greeted one another? With a bit of an awkward motion she let her hand slide into his. Her sun-touched skin against his fair one. “I’m L…” Her eyes widened as her tongue struggled with a sound it couldn’t produce anymore. She had experienced that phenomenon before, but had forgotten. Forgotten that her language wasn’t for the mortal world. “Call me Lyra”, she eventually said with a bit of sadness in her voice.

Kellan, an aspiring eagle rider. A brief glance was cast towards the sky as if she could see flying eagles above just because he had mentioned them. The eagles were a specialty of the city, that much she had understood, and many youngsters dreamed of bonding with one in the future. So this was another one, but the bright optimism in his entire behavior convinced Lyra that he could do it. Perhaps he had already taken the first step into that direction. Thinking about that brightened her mood a bit, and she gave a timid smile. “Me? I’m just a visitor seeking inspiration in your beautiful city. I don’t have a flashy goal like you. How is it going? The training, I mean.”

She was very much interested in Kellan. Whether it was because she really wanted to learn more about Wind Reach and its citizens or because she was searching for something she could fill the hole in her chest with didn’t matter to her.

[Kellan Lucia]

She said her name was Lyra. Kellan noticed that she stopped herself when she first answered. Her answer seemed to be in a different language. Languages other than common were not well, uncommon. He had never heard the language she had spoken though. It was much different than his native language of Nari. Only Inarta were able to learn it though because it was mostly just clicks and other bird like sounds. Of course, in some rare cases outsiders learned the difficult language. Her voice was very soft sounding like it didn’t belong to this world. Lyra herself did not seem to be part of this world yet strangely enough, she was there right in front of Kellan. Well if you are looking for beauty you have come to the right place. There is no place more beautiful, of course I am biased.” Kellan said with a boyish smile. No where was more beautiful to Kellan than Wind Reach. Of course, he had never been anywhere else. Still, he had pride for his home and he knew he was glad to be born Inarta. He loved the eagles and the volcano. Most of all he loved being so close to the sky. He was happy to hear that Lyra was interested in his training. “It is going quite well, thank you Lyra.” He said with a smile. “I have been working with an eagle named Alwin. He is really beautiful and his coloring is amazing. He is a really beautiful shade of red under his wings. I’m going to get to ride him soon.” Kellan stopped after he noticed that he was talking nonstop about Alwin. He laughed and looked at Lyra “Sorry, I am just super passionate about my craft you know? I didn’t mean to talk your ear off” he said. He looked up at the sky and smiled. He could not wait to be up there with Alwin. Kellan noticed Lyra looking at his tattoo on his chest. He remembered the day he got it. It was a week after his twin brother Toran was killed. Every day he could cry and refuse to leave the house because he missed Toran. He didn’t feel like he could go on without him. One day his mother told him “No matter what happens today the sun will still rise tomorrow. Whether it is a good thing or a bad thing the sun always returns”. He never forgot those words and the next day he got “The sun will still rise tomorrow tattooed across his chest”. He looked over at Lyra “I got it in honor of my twin brother; he died in a knife fight. His name was Toran. He looked pretty much like me except he had green eyes.” He said once again talking like he had known this girl his whole life. He smiled and looked down “Sorry, I am really talkative today.” He said. He looked around the courtyard and then back at Lyra. “Well, if you want to know more about the city I would be honored to show you around. I’ll even show you the eagles if you want.” he said with a big grin. “What do you say?”

[Lyra]

Lyra’s smile was a shadow of Kellan’s when she heard that he agreed. Of course, her memories were hazy and blurred, but she hadn’t seen any other place that possessed the rough and natural, yet carefully crafted and protected beauty of Wind Reach. The city was made of solid stone and fresh air, of wind and blazing firepits and of dreams of reaching the sky. It was an honest and straightforward place which Lyra appreciated. She hadn’t yet had time to figure out and get to know its darker sides.

One of its more unique traits certainly was the eagles, though, so Lyra listened with great interest when Kellan started talking about his experiences. So he already had an exemplar he could form a bond and work with! To Lyra that already sounded like success. Endals were those who were admired and envied by most other citizens and it took strength, intelligence and patience to become one of those, she had heard. Apparently Kellan possessed those traits paired with a child-like happiness and joy which delighted her. A sincere smile was the reaction to his description of the eagle. “That certainly is an extraordinary color. Alwin must be very pretty”, she commented. For the first time since they had met her citrine eyes radiated sympathy and liveliness. When he apologized, she shoved the concerns aside with a quick gesture. “No, it sounds most interesting. You’re helping me a great deal with getting to know this city and its culture. I haven’t been around long enough to understand the details. Please continue talking about what moves you.” When speaking as much as she had just done, the accent in Lyra’s voice was even more obvious. Never had Kellan heard this foreign accent, not even from traveling merchants. Apart from that, her voice was high and clear like sunlight.

After a while she looked away and added: “Having something you can be passionate about is a great blessing, Kellan. I wish I had something like that.” Suddenly a shadow crossed her features. Even though her stay on Mizahar hadn’t been long yet, she already felt the strong desire to find a profession she could pour all her energy into. Life tasted bland this way.

She noticed that Kellan had followed her stare at the sentence tattooed across his chest. Her stare quickly dissolved, but she listened to the story nevertheless. With lowered head, brown and golden hair covering her face, she said: “I’m sorry for that. Your optimism truly is admirable.” Indeed, the longer they spoke, the more she noticed that he was everything she was not. Surely he had been sent to her so she could learn from his optimistic character for her own existence. Perhaps it was a message from her beloved Sun Mistress: Enjoy what you’ve been given. There had to be a reason behind her fall from the divine realm. Hope walks faster than fear, she had been told a long time ago.

Kellan’s request suited that advice perfectly, and Lyra smiled, although rather at the coincidence of their encounter than at his kindness. This time, anyway. The smile was distant, but the eager expression on her features was honest. “A fabulous idea! After what you’ve said about Alwin, I’d really like to see one of his companions, or even Alwin himself.” She briefly wondered if she was even allowed to visit the eagles, but Kellan seemed sure about himself, so she decided to trust him.

“Please take the lead then”, she asked with softness and curiosity in her voice. The wide Inarta clothing she was wearing swayed in a momentary breeze that smelled of an interesting day and a promising future.

[Kellan Lucia]

There was a way in which Lyra talked that sparked an interest in Kellan. She spoke with this air of simplicity. It was like no woman in Wind Reach would ever talk. Not that is was a bad way to talk, it was just different, one could even say refreshing. Her way of talking was not the only thing that stuck out about her. It was also the fact that she had an accent. It was not overbearing or anything but it was there. It was all so intriguing to Kellan. Of course, Kellan was not that hard to impress. His puppy like sense of wonder may have been out of place in a guy who was eighteen years old but at least it kept life interesting. Kellan led Lyra out of the courtyard and down into the tunnels that connected the whole city of Wind Reach. The long caverns acted as wind tunnels, sucking the wind from everywhere it could and blowing around the citizens taking a stroll through the tunnels. Kellan smiled and closed his eyes as he breathed in the cool air. “These tunnels are so amazing. They are always windy due to well, the wind tunnel effect. This way everyone knows how great it is to be up in the windy skies even if they can never fly. I’m sure that is not why these tunnels are like this but I’ve always had a wild imagination.” he said. As they walked Kellan told Lyra more about Wind Reach and the Inarta. “I can honestly say, I don’t know much about the history of Wind Reach. No one really does. I do know that the wind eagles are supposed to be the spirits of our fallen ancestors and Inarta with golden eyes like the eagles like me are supposed to have been eagles in their past lives.” he said. “Cool concept right?” Kellan looked at Lyra and hoped that he wasn’t boring her. Soon they reached the aeries and Kellan led Lyra in. “These are the aeries where the wind eagles live. Alwin is around here somewhere.” he said looking around. There were many eagles around preening their feathers or eating. He motioned for Lyra to follow him. He led her over to Alwin and smiled. “This is Alwin. he said motioning to the bird. “Wind Eagles are as important as the Inarta. We canot live without each other. The eagles need us for companionship and we need them for hunting. Of course, they make great companions too. he said with a smile. He looked at Alwin. He was truly amazed by the bird. He was a tad bit jealous too. He wished he could fly whenever his heart felt the need. Still, he knew he must be happy for what he had. “I wish I was a full fledged rider. Then I could take you for a flight. Maybe when the day comes when I am a rider I can give you a true tour of Wind Reach the way everyone should see at least once. From the eyes of a bird. I mean, if it was not for the birds, where would we be?” he said. He motioned for her to follow and he walked her over to a large ledge. He held onto her arm as they slowly walked forward. “I know this is scary but I want you to see this. If you get to scared just tell me and we will leave.” he said. They walked over to the ledge and looked over. It was a very long drop from where they were. “This is where we dive off when we fly. It is so scary but so amazing.” he said. He did not want her to get scared so soon they were back in the aeries. They spent some more time at the aeries and then Kellan looked at Lyra. “So now that you have seen the aeries. Is there anywhere else you want to go or do you want me to just surprise you?” he asked. He thought it might be nice to show her the lakes or maybe the gallery of stained glass but he wanted to leave it up to her.

[Lyra]

Lyra followed Kellan into the shadow of the tunnels. While enjoying the refreshing breeze inside, she was surprised to find out that her hopelessness was gone. She hadn’t really paid attention to what she felt, but now she realized that the conversation with Kellan had turned her attention away from her own depressing problems – and opened her eyes for the fascinating world she had reentered. Perhaps it was best to learn as much as she could about this new world during her stay. Many things had changed, and she felt that those things were just as worth discovering as Wind Reach was fun.

When Kellan spoke up and explained the wind in the tunnels, Lyra turned to him. She saw him closing his eyes and returned the smile without him seeing it. During these moments, when he happily enjoyed what he had been given, he had to be the most beautiful person in this city. Lyra hadn’t spoken with many citizens yet, but she liked this special beauty. What he then said about the eagles, however, surprised her a bit. While long, golden-brown hair wildly fluttered in the wind, she tilted her horned head and asked: “So do I get that right … that your giant eagles are intelligent beings? Do they speak with your kin?” Of course, for an outsider it was less than obvious that telepathy was a common form of communication between the eagles and their riders. Lyra had always assumed that Inarta were just very good at falconry. “Also, is it true that no Inarta knows about your history? Isn’t that strange? Every sentient race treasures their history and protects ancient ruins so that they can learn from the past. Why not the Inarta?” She found that strange, but was willing to accept any explanation Kellan could give. After all, she knew that judging too quickly might lead to the wrong conclusions.

After passing the tunnels, Kellan led her on to the aeries, the most luxurious homes of the riders and their eagles. Before they reached the one bird Lyra wanted to see, they came across at least half a dozen of others. They were all big, although some were still growing, and their feathers shimmered in different shades of brown and red. Lyra even thought that she had seen something white in between the darker exemplars. When they came to Alwin, though, Lyra could feel through Kellan’s words that he saw the most beautiful of all those birds in him. So Lyra, being absorbed by the boy’s passionate description, felt the same. Though still young, Alwin looked majestic and beautiful in his own way. “I’m sure your dream will come true if you work hard for it! And I’m looking forward to that ride”, she said and smiled warmly at the young Inarta. There was still much for him to learn, but she sensed that he was on the right way.

No, Lyra wasn’t frightened by the fantastic view they had from the ledge. She clung to Kellan’s arm, though, because she feared that one of them might lose balance. This was a dizzying height – but also breathtaking. Lyra gasped in excitement. “Magnificent”, she whispered and her citrine eyes sparkled as a reflection of Syna’s light.

Back in the safety of the aeries, Lyra considered what she would like to see of Wind Reach next. She would never be able to explore every part of the big city in one day. There was something, however, that looked like fun to her. To Kellan she suggested: “I like surprises. Maybe we can do something outside, though? I’ve seen many people venture out of the city and suppose they do this because Summer has just begun. I imagine it must be nice to try some of the typical Inarta outdoor activities.” She flashed her companion a brief grin and folded her hands. He was the Inarta – he would surely come up with something entertaining.

[Kellan Lucia]

Kellan really enjoyed giving Lyra this tour of his home. It really tested his knowledge of his home. He thought about where he would take Lyra next. She told him that she wanted to see what it was like outside the city. He really did not leave Wind Reach to often. I guess you could call him a shut in. He just never found a real reason to venture past the Sanikas Gates. Everything he needed was in the city. He did know a good place to take her though. Even though Kellan was more a man of the sky he did like venturing to Sanikas River and the Twin Lakes. "Okay, I have an idea. We can head to Sanikas River. If we go far enough up stream we can see Katshika Falls." he said. The gates were a few minutes walk from the aeries. Once they got outside the gates Kellan looked at Lyra. The sun seemed to accentuate her beauty. Kellan knew of other races but he had not really seen other races except Inarta and the occasional kelvic. Judging from her unnatural beauty and the horns nestled in her hair she must have been an Ethaefal. He had never met one before. He had only heard about them from older riders that had ventured past the gates and into other lands. Lyra was much more beautiful than he had imagined the Ethaefal to be though. He couldn't help staring at times. He always stopped himself though. He did not want her to think he was a creep. It was hard to keep his eyes off her though. She had this glow to her like she was just blissfully walking through life and stumbled into his. As they walked to the river Kellan talked more about Wind Reach. "To answer you earlier questions, yes Inarta can communicate with our Wind Eagles. It is such an amazing experience. It was breath taking when I first heard Alwin speaking in my head." he said with a sense of wonder. "As for the history of my people, all we know is that we are connected to the eagles and they are connected to us. Everything else is in the making I guess. We are a story still being written." he said. Kellan carried the sort of amnesia that all Inarta carry about the Valterrian. They simply did not know anything about it. It was not that they were misinformed or ignorant, it was the fact that they were not able to retain the information. Even if someone told Kellan every last detail of the Valterrian and the Orika that the Inarta were previously he would forget the moment the sun set (or rose depending on when he was told). Soon they made it to Sanikas River. He walked to the edge and sat down on the bank. He looked back at Lyra and smiled. "This is Sanikas River. It leads down to Thunder Bay and is fed into by Katshika Falls." he said. He motioned for her to sit down next to him. He looked at her and bit his lip. "I know we just met but I am glad I met you. You are by far the most interesting person I have ever met. You don't seem to try to be anything you aren't. That is really hard to find lately. Everyone either is too cool to talk to me because I am a new Endal or to wound up in their own problems to be social." he said with a smile. Kellan looked at the sun that was getting closer to the horizon. "So tell me about you. I feel so self-centered only talking about me and my people. Of course, you don't have to sat anything you don't want to." he said. He did not want to force anything on her. It would be hard enough getting acclimated to a new setting without someone breathing down her neck about personal details. He was just curious though. She was such a mystery to him.

[Lyra]

OOCI feel a bit over-the-top with such a tragic post. ^^;


The idea sounded good. As a being who had been reborn in water just a couple of days ago, this element still held a special meaning to her. And as a Chaktawe she had been taught that water was exceptionally valuable and precious. For a few chimes long gone flashes of memory occupied her mind. The crystal-clear and fresh water of the river her village was nestled at. The fertile and wide lands of Eyktol … If she was honest, she didn’t want to know how the landscape looked like these days. She merely bit her lip and followed the young Inarta.

Concentrating on his late answer, her gaze soon lit up. “Amazing. This sounds like a special kind of telepathy only the Inarta are capable of.” Then she assessed the historical information he had given her. From other people’s point of view it might be insignificant, but to Lyra history was something of tremendous importance. History shaped and kept shaping a race into what it was. Lyra wondered how the Inarta had become this way. It sounded like a topic interesting enough to put some of her spare time into. All she said to Kellan, though, was: “Well, I guess you don’t need to know the past. Just as your tattoo says, concentrating on the future is better than pondering over past mistakes.” Or other occurrences nobody can explain.

They soon reached the banks of Sanikas River and Lyra sat down next to Kellan. When he spoke up, citrine orbs widened with mild surprise. Then her expression softened. “Thank you. It might be just like your people are … From what I’ve seen everyone here works so hard to survive. Often there is no time for relationships when there are more important things that have to be taken care of first. I can imagine that someone like you might find it hard to socialize here.” The natural consequence, she thought, would be to leave and travel somewhere else to find more friendly people, but Lyra knew that that wasn’t an option for her opponent. She had never heard of an Inarta leaving Wind Reach. At least they were loyal to their city and their eagles.

Then Kellan asked the question Lyra had tried to avoid. She looked away, let her gaze wander over the beautiful flowing of Sanikas River. Ancient sadness was visible in the way she tilted her head and half-closed her eyes. She was older than her mortal form could comprehend … yet she was there, walking the earth of Mizahar when instead she should be in the divine realm, worshiping Syna. Once again she thought about the existence she had lost and the Goddess she had lost a unique connection with. Why did that happen to her? Sometimes Lyra felt like standing at the edge of a gaping maw and peering into its depths. The maw was insanity and she was never too far from it.

She couldn’t tell Kellan something like that, though. Perhaps he was too young. Dimming his bright smile by sharing the weight of her problems wasn’t the right thing to do. Perhaps she would tell him and he would understand later. Avoiding eye contact, she explained: “Sorry, but I cannot talk about the details. Let’s just say that I lived in Eyktol a long time ago. Many things have changed, so I’m a bit confused with this world.” Suddenly she turned back to him. “Please don’t ask further questions.” After a pause she added hesitantly: “I will tell you one day.”

Then the Ethaefal fell silent. The topic had dimmed the bright mood she had gotten from being together with Kellan. She wished that he did or said something to bring that mood back – she liked and needed his optimism to understand the new Mizahar.

[Kellan Lucia]

Kellan could feel the drastic change in his new found friend. Her easy going nature quickly turned quite defensive. She was kind about it though. Still, Kellan felt a pang of remorse for making her uncomfortable. He had only wanted to make sure she felt fully welcome in his volcanic home. Instead he had done the complete opposite. Kellan looked down at the water and sighed. "Sorry Lyra. Don't worry about it, we all have things in our past that we would rather keep buried." he said with a hint of pain in his voice. He was not pained for her, but for himself. Kellan may have seemed like the happy wonder boy of Wind Reach but the people of the city knew all well that he was not always the little ray of sunshine that he was currently. His past had been full of rage and violence until about a year prior. The death of Toran, his twin brother had ripped him apart emotionally. Kellan had always been a playful kid but after Toran died his entire personality had shifted. Kellan had felt like a part of him had died and in a way it had. Toran had been like his mirror image at least physically. They were practically the same person except Toran was slightly taller and had emerald green eyes. Personality-wise they could not have been more different though. Also following the death of Toran marked the time when Kellan truely had no one. Shortly after Toran died Kellan severed all ties with his family. He had felt no remorse for burning his bridges then but now he was feeling it. A man was not much without his family to back him up and Kellan did not have one anymore. Kellan bit his lip as he thought of Toran. A day did not pass when he did not think of his brother. It was a thought that he did not like to ponder on for too long. Everything about him brought up negitive feelings within Kellan. It was not that he did not love his brother, it just stung that Kellan could have prevented his twin's far too early death. Kellan shook his head and ran his fingers though his thick red hair. "Well do I know how to kill a mood or what?" he asked with a small smile. He thought about a good thing to do next. He stomach gave a small growl and he knew what to do next. "Wow, it his lunch already. You really know how to keep a guy occupied Lyra." he chuckled. He stood up and held his hand out to her. "We can head to the communial kitchens if you like. I'll make sure you get the Endal treatment." he said with a wink. Endal treatment, something that even if Toran was alive he would not recieve. As they walked Lyra's words really sunk in for Kellan. “Well, I guess you don’t need to know the past. Just as your tattoo says, concentrating on the future is better than pondering over past mistakes.” Kellan knew that she was not trying to be philosophical but it really hit a chord for him. He spent all of his time pondering over Toran and all of the mistakes he made with him and what did he have now? No brother and no family. He had subconciously decided that if he could not have Toran he could not have anyone. He never worried about the future except for when he was thinking about Alwin. Eagle riding is all he thought about in a future sense. He grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. "Thank you Lyra. I have to stop mourning the past and instead look toward the future. All of my mistakes can wait." He said. The words really did not make a lot of sense when he said them out loud. They were far out of context and really in a sense, he was not saying it to Lyra but to himself. Maybe it was time to move on. To not forget about Toran but to let him go and in turn let himself go. He was not dead yet and unlike Toran he had a lot of living left to do.