40th Day of Spring, 513 AV
The hem of her skirt nearly dragged across the floor as she walked. Arcane robes were not typically made for little girls, but she’d managed to pass off being incredibly petite. Her hair fell loose and golden, largely influenced by the summer sun. Two tinkling earrings dangled from both lobes, a good-luck token for the testing to come. She’d done a bit of practice in the days leading up, using the common labs to perfect her forms. The aide of a mirror had been invaluable, a luxury she’d not had for quite some time.
She let herself in to the lecture hall. There were already plenty of spectators, eager to watch those who succeeded and failed. She suddenly felt self-conscious, not used to the recognition of her true identity. All who spied her knew she was a living, breathing human girl and if she were to fail, her life would easily be forfeit. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, just as it had running through the streets of Alvadas, the Womiyu hot on her heels. Celeste had known danger all her life. It was both thrilling and terrifying, all at once.
Heart in her throat, she waited for permission to proceed. Morphing in front of an audience meant she’d have to be naked, truly exposed. In truth, it was the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. Celeste was used to being overlooked, ignored. This would put her directly under scrutiny. She’d never been formally trained, never been educated or tried. This would be her very first test, ever. Her tiny body began to tremble.
Tasting bile at the back of her throat, she strode forward. ”Celeste Arumen,” she said, voicing her true surname. Could she even do this? Steeling herself, one hand reached to undo her robes and with a rustle of fabric, they fell to the ground. Some of the judges snickered. How often did a little girl have the gall to do such a thing? ”It is my wish to research and explore the discipline of Morphing, aligned with the gift of Illusionism.” This was a well-rehearsed phrase and one that came out more meekly than she’d hoped. That got their attention a bit; god-magic was an asset, something unexpected. The purple triangle seethed with energy for a moment as her eyes turned a flash of vermillion, before the illusion dispersed. ”This demonstration will be without the aid of such m-“ she stumbled ”markings.”
Gods, they could tell she was nervous. Her whole body was lightly trembling. ’Here goes nothing,’ she thought, squeezing her eyes shut, retreating to the quiet space of her mind. For her first act was a simple one. Focusing on what a boy should be, she began to restructure her djed as she’d done many times before. The queer sensation of stretching was familiar, a comfort in lieu of her great task. Over the next chime or so her chest expanded, more of a barrel than an hourglass. The shape of her breasts receded and grew flat and her hips splayed inward, the center of gravity rising to the middle of her abdomen. The bones of her arms and legs grew slightly longer, thicker, more formidable. At the finale, her hair shot up and curled, her mouth a thin line rather than a double bow, and even her skin grew callous and slightly piebald, a commoner’s flesh. This was a model she’d learned over time and it took less to maintain, through the draw on her reserves was evident. She felt the djed slowly leeching out of her, hand in hand with the anxiety tearing at her heart.
For effect, she added in her roughest accent: ”Please sirs, might you spare a miza? I’ve not eaten in a full week.” Slowly, she took it further, fat slowly ebbing away into nothing. The structure of her base skeleton was now evident through the shifted skin. But it was becoming too much – the strain of holding her emotions in check was burning her out too quickly. There had to be other tricks, other things. Hit by sudden inspiration, she chose her next course of action. Celeste kept a hold on the current form while slowly turning her hair a sickly shade of orange. In Nari she repeated the phrase, sinking to her knees. Just a lowly Dek, a casteless slave. How fitting. But the tears in her eyes were real, not an act, no longer a game.
The small adjustments had set her off-balance. Determined not to appear foolish she very gradually loosened her grip on the form, allowing her body to right itself. Tears threatened to fall in earnest – she failed, she couldn’t move on to the next step. She wanted to throw herself down right there and beg for her life, for surely they’d enslave her. Such a small demonstration of power would not sate the appetites of the Sahovan Judges, not deter the Nuit who so openly craved her as a vessel.
No, she wouldn’t do that. Celeste had thus far avoided the indignity of begging. She’d not lower herself to that, even as they robbed her of her very soul. Once back in her original state, she simply held herself upright. ’You can do just a little more,’ the voices said. ’Just push a little farther; it couldn’t hurt to do maybe a partial morph, just to demonstrate the other side?’ She blinked. The audience stared. Was it her mind that egged her on, or something else?
’Grandma told me about this, the whispers! If I do it, then I’ll give in to them.’ The desire for power was there, fueling it. She’d been warned about this. She couldn’t afford to slip into madness, naked, in the middle of Sahova. She couldn’t afford to overgive. She couldn’t afford not to do exactly as she’d been taught, lest all of it meant nothing. But maybe, just a set of claws wouldn’t hurt. She checked the dwindling vestiges of her power. Celeste had a choice to make.
”Thank you for your consideration.”
She pulled on her robes, drying her eyes. This was a test of control and of willpower more than ability for her. If this was failure, she would accept it with grace. In the vaults of her undeveloped mind, she still knew she couldn’t let her grandmother down. She wouldn’t do that. So instead she bowed, took a step back to let the hammer fall – one way or the other. |