Solo Echoes of the Void

[Ronas Dermir]

Season of Summer, Day 32, 513 AV The Void echoed with voices unheard. Ronas Dermir sat crosslegged and immobile, outside the citadel walls of Sahova. He was facing the forbidding-looking forest, but not within it, his eyes closed and his shaved head bowed. To anyone looking, it might seem that he was asleep, but Ronas rarely slept. Only at night, for exactly six Bells. Not a chime less, not a chime more. Through his mind repeated the same mantra, over and over. Close your eyes. Clear your mind. For him, it was crucial to success; the clear mind was able to see what a clouded one could not. He had to free himself from all distractions, and he did this by identifying and slaying every thought that threatened to appear. He ceased thinking about his day, his orders, or the feel of the gravel under his legs. He ignored the strain of his muscles, the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves, the chill of a breeze across his face. All these things, these thoughts, had to be purged. His mind needed to be clear of all thoughts. Close your eyes. Clear your mind. He wasn't trying to create a Void portal, though it would be easy to do so in this state. Meditation of this nature was simply to recharge his body for the exertions of the day. He did this outside the Citadel merely because he did not wish to damage the structure, should he accidentally create a portal during meditation. The chances were small, but nonetheless. He was drifting again, thoughts threatened to creep into his mind. He did not squeeze his eyes tighter, nor did he tighten his muscles in a vain attempt to force them out. Instead, he still sat there, calmly and serenely, letting the thoughts flow back out of him like water from a cup. He could feel the draw of the Void, calling to him. Echoes of the Void. Thoughts bounced across the empty expanse, ending back where they began. He pictured opening a portal, taking his thoughts, his memories, his very soul and tossing them in. No need for any of them. The first duty was to the mission. The slight tug of Pull drew him from his meditation. Opening his eyes, he behold a small swirling hole in space, its pull barely enough to be felt. Nonetheless, Ronas felt a cold chill. He had created a Void Portal. He had lost control. Ronas did not curse or frown or show any outward sign of annoyance or anger. But inside his gut, he felt a roiling, hot feeling. He had lost control. He needed more discipline. This could not happen again.

[Ronas Dermir]

Season of Summer, Day 33, 513 AV Once again, Ronas Dermir sat cross-legged, facing the forest, his mind turned inward upon itself. Nothing in, nothing out. He could feel it as thoughts, one by one, vanish one by one, until his mind was as empty as the void. He chose one thing to concentrate on, and focused intently upon that point. Today, that point was the beating of his heart. Thump thump. Thump thump. The key to successful meditation was to first concentrate on this one point, and by doing so squeeze out all other thoughts. Then, slowly, very slowly, start pushing out the point as well. There was nothing in Mizahar. No ground beneath his feet. No sky above his head. No Citadel. No Sahova. Just the beating of his heart. Thump thump. Thump thump. Ronas frowned slightly. His heartbeat was not disappearing as he had originally intended it to. It continued to echo in his mind, and he began worrying. What was wrong? Why was the meditation failing? Deciding to try again, he opened his eyes, allowing the world to flood back into him again. Sights, sounds and smells came back in a roar. Shaking his head, Ronas adjusted his position, and concentrated once more. Thump thump. Thump thump. His heartbeat kept getting louder and louder in his brain, like a drumbeat. It was nearly deafening now, overpowering his senses and threatening to upset his entire routine. Ronas grunted, and his brow furrowed even deeper, a sign that something was wrong. His normally placid face taking on a frightening visage. Control, he thought. Maintain control. The roar of blood rushing past his eardrums lessened, as Ronas breathed in deep from his nose, and out his mouth. An old calming technique, one designed to re-establish control of his mind. Thoughts once again began to fade, and he imagined his thoughts like tiny specks of light against a black sky. One by one, the lights winked out. Thump thump. Thump thump. The heartbeat was getting fainter now. His breaths became more shallow. His jaw loosened and his brow smoothed. There were only a few pricks of light. He snuffed them individually, carefully. Until only one was left. He reached out with his mind, seeking to snuff it, to finally achieve emptiness within the walls of his mind. But the light would not go out. Thump thump. Thump thump. His heartbeat was growing louder once more. Ronas could feel a cold chill drip down his spine. The harder he worked to suppress the sound of his heart, the louder it became. Soon, it became like the peals of thunder during a storm. With a cry, Ronas' eyes shot open. Silence reigned. The heartbeat stopped. The quiet whisperings of the forest returned. It was as though nothing had happened at all. Ronas sat there, staring at the forest, for several chimes. Thoughts flowed through his mind, but his cobalt eyes remained fixed, unmoving. After twelve or so chimes, Ronas abruptly stood, and without another word, headed back for the Citadel. Meditation, at least for today, was over.

[Ronas Dermir]

Season of Summer, Day 34, 513 AV Ronas felt a certain degree of trepidation as he marched down the path toward his usual spot, facing the forest. It did not show on his face, but it settled in his gut, like the remains of a bad meal. He could feel the emotion roiling about, alternating between a hot coal and a block of ice. What had happened yesterday? Why had his meditation failed? No matter. What had happened yesterday was the past. No amount of contemplation would change it. Ronas sat down carefully, crossing his legs and closing his eyes. Once again, the world faded away. This time, he decided to concentrate on the feel of the gravel beneath his legs. The sun had not yet risen, and the cool air was soft and gentle, a contrast to the darkness around him. Close your eyes. Clear your mind. Ronas' mind was far from clear. In his brain swirled thought after thought. He thought of his failure the other day, of his loss of control that resulted in an unintentional Void portal. Of the fact that, despite his dedication, he was still unskilled. He needed to become more skilled. Ronas' eyes popped open. Meditation had been failing more often lately. It was a problem he had no solution for. With an angry growl, Ronas slammed his fist into the hard earth, ignoring the pain that shuddered up his arm. For several chimes, he simply sat in silence, as though in contemplation, his eyes faraway, seeing something only he could see. Finally, he resumed his postion and shut his eyes again. Close your eyes. Clear your mind. It was such a simple task. All Ronas had to do was clear his mind of all thought. Yet it seemed as elusive as ever, and the coal simmering within his chest burned brighter and brighter. Ronas could feel his control slipping, like an eel out of his hands. Ronas could feel the muscles of his shoulders, his forearms, his legs, his chest, and soon every muscle in his body, tighten to almost a painful degree. He could barely breathe, his mouth opened in pain but no sound came out. His mind was a cacophony of half-thoughts and fragments of emotions but mostly the red haze of pain. He could almost swear he could feel every grain of dirt beneath him, and beads of sweat rolled off his shaved head. All of a sudden, every muscle in Ronas' body relaxed, as though an order had been given. Ronas could feel the pain oozing out of him, he could visualize it coming out of every pore. And with it, the thoughts disappeared as well, pouring out of his body. And after a Bell, finally, Ronas' mind was clear. An empty cup. It was ... indescribable. Ronas was not thinking any thoughts. His mind was completely, utterly, totally devoid of all activity. Empty, like the Void. And for the briefest of moments that felt like an eternity, Ronas was completely at peace.

[Ronas Dermir]

Season of Summer, Day 35, 513 AV Meditation wasn't just something to allow Ronas to clear his mind, and gain some amount of peace. It was a technique designed to safely channel certain emotions, to sever them if necessary for the greater need of the person. Ronas had always known how dangerous fear was, how crippling panic was. There was a time when a larger opponent would paralyze him, where the threat of dismemberment or death would cause his legs to go weak and his heart to beat wildly. It was those sorts of reactions that needed to be controlled. For on the battlefield, fear and panic were greater killers than swords and spears. And in order to defeat such things, one must face them. Ronas closed his eyes once more. Ever since his success yesterday, Ronas found his mind easier to clear again, and so he attempted the same technique. He focused on every muscle in his body, tensing each one in turn, until his body felt like it was on fire. Holding the tension for three chimes, he suddenly let go, letting the tension, and his thoughts, flow out. The moment of clarity did not last, but once it was gone, Ronas dredged up memories. Memories to face and conquer. He recalled chaotic battles he had participated in, where one never quite knew what was going on. He remembered the cold, iron grip of fear on his heart, how it made his vision blurry and his knees buckle. Here, in relative safety, he recalled that fear, so that he could face it again. A large, burly soldier was in front of him, in his mind's eye. He had a shaved head like Ronas, but he was missing an eye, a grotesque patch of scar covering it. The large man had a cleaver the size of Ronas' head, and he was bringing the cleaver down upon him. Ronas remembered this fight. He had frozen, his eyes opened wide with fear, his legs rooted to the ground. He'd squeezed his eyes shut, only to be shoved aside at the last second. The sickening sound of metal against bone, the sweet stench of fresh blood. The fear was so intense, Ronas could taste it. What he had felt that day. He willed that emotion to present itself to him, replaying that scene again and again in his mind. The cleaver coming down, Ronas' terror. He identified each part of that fear. The twisting feeling inside his stomach. The cold sweat down his back, the scrambled, screaming thoughts in his head, barely coherent, but all screaming run! Ronas did not run. In his mind's eye, he steadied his mind, pushing those thoughts back. It was important to remember the feeling, to recognize it, to know it intimately. It was the only way one could control it. For another twenty chimes Ronas continued to replay the event in his mind, each time the fear and panic he evoked within himself was catalogued, analyzed, stored. It had been a long time since he'd inventoried fear, but here on Sahova, he was certain he would meet monsters that would test even his limits. If he could not control his fear, it would most certainly control him. Taking a deep breath, Ronas decided to end his meditation session with yet another clearing of the mind. This time, instead of the muscle-relaxation technique he used earlier, he decided to simply focus on a point again, despite his earlier failure with that technique. This time, he chose to focus on a smell. The acrid stench of dead flesh, which could only mean that a fresh "shipment" had arrived at the docks not too far away. The winds carried the odor all the way here. Still, the smell was strong enough, and Ronas focused on it. He blocked out all other thought, all other sensation, all other things in the world, except for the smell. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, he started to block out the smell as well. After about twelve chimes, Ronas was once again at peace. It lasted less than a fraction of a chime. It felt like forever.

[Ronas Dermir]

Season of Summer, Day 36, 513 AV Ronas was seated cross-legged once more, his brow furrowed in concentration. He focused upon his heartbeat, as he heard it slow, slow, slow. With each time he did this, it became somewhat easier. Easier to push out the distractions. The various twitches and desires of his body, such as the muscles in his legs protesting from being in the position for so long, or the pain in his spine for keeping it straight as a spear. All those things were pushed to the back of his mind. Only the heartbeat existed. As he pushed even the heartbeat into oblivion, Ronas concentrated his Djed. Focusing it on a spot directly in front of him. As the thoughts left his mind, he moulded his Djed to do the same, emptying the space. Once again imagining his own thoughts as stars on a night sky, he quietly snuffed each one out, until only the steady beat of his heart remained. No other thoughts in his mind. No other sounds in his ears. No smells, no tastes, no light. He slowly, very slowly, started to push that away. The sound faded, the heartbeat becoming more and more indistinct until it was a whooshing in his ears. Then even that disappeared, leaving his mind blank. Ronas could barely maintain this empty mind for more than a moment before thoughts came flooding back again. But he would keep practicing, until such a time as he could maintain it for longer. Ronas opened his eyes. Before him was a perfect Void Portal, absolutely circular, the size of his fist, swirling and translucent. A portal to a place as empty as his mind was a moment ago. Ronas could feel his Djed, his very essence, flowing to the portal, keeping everything at bay, making the area of the portal a point of pure nothingness. For about a chime, Ronas stared into the portal, as though it held all the answers to the universe. Then, with a barely audible sigh, Ronas released the portal. Control. If only for this moment, he had control. The portal collapsed, then disappeared. Ronas stood, and returned to the Quarters. His Judgement would be soon. And he needed to be ready. Fin.

[Mirage]

Ronas:

XP:
Meditation: 4
Voiding: 1

Lores:
Meditation: One cannot still the heart
Meditation: Struggling against feer
Meditation: Void Technique

Additional:
Simple yet eloquent! PM me if you have any concerns ^.^