I was refused, but they didnt...

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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Sharito Kitao on October 5th, 2013, 2:17 pm

My character sheet was refused, so i thought they were going to post an intervention. Why isnt there an intervention? I cant really fix it...
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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Alea Davenport on October 5th, 2013, 2:46 pm

I'd guess the problems are mostly with your history. School doesn't really exist in Mizahar as we know it on earth, at least not in most cities. You might want to talk to Eldritch about how children are educated in Zeltiva. Also check with her about your house, in case cottages at the edge of the city don't exist.

Also, I highly doubt your Chaktawe relatives would pay attention to you or your mother once you pass beyond the boundaries of the desert, so it seems unlikely to me that they would randomly leave you a box of recipes. It might make more sense to argue that your mother had the box and you came into possession of it after she died somehow.

Also, in your appearance, the burning red eyes should probably be black instead, from your Chawktawe blood.

There might be more issues, but those are the ones I saw.
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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Sharito Kitao on October 5th, 2013, 3:41 pm

Alea Davenport wrote:I'd guess the problems are mostly with your history. School doesn't really exist in Mizahar as we know it on earth, at least not in most cities. You might want to talk to Eldritch about how children are educated in Zeltiva. Also check with her about your house, in case cottages at the edge of the city don't exist.

Also, I highly doubt your Chaktawe relatives would pay attention to you or your mother once you pass beyond the boundaries of the desert, so it seems unlikely to me that they would randomly leave you a box of recipes. It might make more sense to argue that your mother had the box and you came into possession of it after she died somehow.

Also, in your appearance, the burning red eyes should probably be black instead, from your Chawktawe blood.

There might be more issues, but those are the ones I saw.

Thanks for the help!
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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Gossamer on October 5th, 2013, 3:45 pm

I didn't post an intervention because I was on my phone. :) I wait until I am on a real computer before I actually post. But I can sure X um out when I see something bad.

The burning red eyes got me all riled up. You should know better. HUMANS DO NOT HAVE RED EYES.
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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Eldritch on October 5th, 2013, 3:49 pm

Its him, Alea, not her lol. :p

Howdy, just noticed this topic and opted to step on in.

Alea is correct in regards to your history having some issues, at least the only big ones I've noticed. School as an institution for pre adults to learn publicly doesn't exist in Zeltiva, too expensive to upkeep. Most kids are taught by their parents/guardians until they come of age. They learn how to read and write as well as anything else their parents might have passed on to them. The University is there, but more for advanced education than anything else. They don't typically take in kids.

Also, there are no forests on the outskirts of the city. The terrain around Zeltiva that isn't water is hilly and rocky. Forests, small ones mind you, might start to appear a way out into the Wildlands... but you can't have a home out there without getting horribly murder-killed. I'm normally not terribly picky about where you place your home in the city, but outskirts seems unlikely given the aforementioned horrible terrain.

Edit: Gah! Goss ninja posted me. You win this round... :)
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I was refused, but they didnt...

Postby Sharito Kitao on October 5th, 2013, 4:19 pm

Thanks people!
And its ninja'd.
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