Sadness of the Heart

by **Lorelle** on November 2nd, 2013, 6:01 am

Timestamp :: 5th of Fall, 499
Age :: 5 years old

Sadness was an easy concept to grasp at such a young age. It was what made water flow down cheeks. The reason for noises in the late night. The sound of defeat and fear. Something very real, but also foreign to a young Lorelle. Her family was happy back then. Nightmares were stolen away by gentle kisses. Lullabies were sung in the night, drifting the girl to sleep. Her mothers voice was like that of a sweet breeze. Warming and comforting. As long as she was singing, nothing else matter. Lorelle was safe. There was no danger. There were no tears. Only when pain came. The pain of falling down or knocking into something. Those tears however, were very different. Those were tears of instinct. Of being of a tender mind and body. Those tears just needed a comforting hand to guide them away and they were always met with one.

The tears of someone else however were all but unknown to the five, almost six, year old. She knew that others must cry. That she couldn't be the only one. She saw them. The other children in the hold. She was sure that they hurt themselves as well. Were their mothers like what she had? Were they kind and gentle? Did they kiss away the tears? Sing with a voice like the winter breed? Of course they were. For in a little Lorelle's mind, everyone had what she had. Why wouldn't they? Doesn't everyone deserve parents like hers? Maybe not that mean boy she met the other day at the market, but everyone else. Yes. It was quite a simple answer to a simple question. Yes, in Lorelle's mind, everyone deserved what she had. She thought her life was perfect. That nothing could touch her small family. Nothing. Not sadness or pain. Definitely not those things.

Lorelle sat on her bed that night. She couldn't sleep but she didn't bring anyone her problem. Something had happened earlier. Something bad. Her father and mother tucked her into bed before they both left the Arvinta. They left in such a hurry too and her mother didn't seem herself. Lorelle had been very confused. Never had they left her before. Let alone at night. Being alone drew out all the shadows in her room. It seemed like something was about to come and get her. She had gripped her knees to her body and hid under the covers. She staid there silently, feeling the safest when as hidden as she could possibly be. It felt like a very long time that she was hiding there. Finally, she heard the door open once more. At first, she thought it was someone coming to take her away. She coiled within herself more then, trying to be still and not make a sound. She didn't want to give away her position. Maybe they would just go away. Yeah, that seemed like the safest idea. Maybe they would just disappear.

It was when and only when, she heard her father’s voice that she came out of the blankets. She bolted up, slipping off the bed. She ran to the door with pattering feet, pushing the door forward to get it open. She propped the door open just enough to get through. ”Da...” her small voice stopped when she saw the scene before her. Her mother was on the chair, her father standing over her. That liquid was falling from her mother’s eyes. Her father didn’t look to happy either. Lorelle suddenly felt very guilty and also quite confused. What was wrong? She didn’t know what to do. Push forward and beg for information or pull back and leave them alone. She decided on the later. Turning, she took quiet steps back to the door of her room. She reaches out only to see that the door has swung shut. Her eyes grew wide. The door swings out, not in. The only other way in is the latch. The latch she can’t reach yet. Not enough inches.

Frantically, she looked back to her parents. Tears. The door. Closed shut. She pouted. Now she felt like make those tears. Except instead of being said, she was scared and felt guilty. She was suppose to be in bed and asleep. Her mother always made it very clear that when it was bed time that it was bed time. Carefully, she walked carefully forward. There was no other way. She had to get back in her room. She would rathe be punished than stuck out here. She made her way to beside the second chair in the room. She looked scared, afraid of being in trouble. ”Mama ... What’s wrong?” her curiosity got the better of her. She needed to know what was going on. Even if that meant getting in trouble.

by **Lorelle** on November 2nd, 2013, 6:59 am

Lana looked up at her daughter. Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving paths in their wake. She tried to give her young child a smile, tell her it was nothing and shoo her back to bed. However, she couldn't do it. The pain of loose was to overwhelming. In fact, her little girl was probably the only thing that could have made her better. She shook her head though. ”Don’t worry about it baby, it is nothing to trouble your precious mind with,” she assured Lorelle, trying to spare her the burden of such a pain. Lorelle was determine though. She walked right up to her mother, looking up to stare into the woman’s sad eyes. She stood there, staring for a tick before nodding. ”You are lying Mama. Lying is wrong. You told me that. Lies are mean. Why are you lying?” she demanded, balling her hands into fists and setting them on her hips.

Lana looked down at her daughter, seeing the look in the young girl’s eyes. A look of determination and defiance. She wasn’t going to go back to bed without knowing, that much was clear. Lana turned and looked at her husband. Colton gave her a shrug, unsure of what to do in this situation. This seemed very much like a mother daughter thing. ”Don’t ask me,” he told her, ”I’ll be in the other room.” Lana watched as he practically ran away to another room. A deep frown pulled at her lips. She was only brought back to the matter at hand when she felt Lorelle’s palms on her knee. She looked down and saw the expectant child. Her heart felt like it is breaking and melting at the sight of Lorelle’s little figure. She sighed softly, trying to keep the new, forming tears from falling.

”Alright Lorelle, let me tell you why I am crying,” The mother said as she picked Lorelle up and brought her up to her lap. She sat Lorelle down, letting her climb up and wrap her arms around Lana’s neck. Once Lorelle was comfortable, she looked up at her mother. She didn’t know why she wanted to know what was wrong. Her natural need to know everything. She waited for the story, feeling bad when a stray tear rolls from her mother’s eyes and down her cheek. Her mother wrapped an arm around Lorelle’s small body, using her free hand to wipe away the tear. ”Why do you cry mama? Don’t cry, it isn’t good to be sad,” the child Vantha said as she reached up and tried to help her mother clean the tear from her face.

Lana smiled at Lorelle’s words. She wrapped her arms around her child and held her tightly. ”Sometimes Lorelle, tears are good. They help us get our sadness out,” Lana explained, brushing Lorelle’s long hair from her daughter’s face. Lorelle pursed her small lips, frowning deeply for such a young child. ”But why are you sad?” she finally asked quite simply. Lana gave her a small half smile. ”Because Lorelle, something happened that hurt mama’s heart. And when your heart hurts it is okay to be sad,” she tried to explain. Lorelle just looked like there was another question burning on her mind. ”If your heart hurts, than why don’t you just make it not hurt?” Lana held back a laugh at Lorelle’s question that she spoke with as much seriousness as a five year old could. She shook her head. ”Oh Lorelle, it isn’t that easy. When you are old enough you will understand. I promise,” she said softly, standing up and picking Lorelle up in her arms. ”Come on, lets get you back to bed. You, my little snowsong, need your rest.”

Lorelle shook her head, yawning as she does so. She grabbed onto Lana’s shirt. ”No Mama! I want to understand now! Besides you never said what you said you would say. Why are you sad?” she demanded, not wanting to go back to bed but wanting to learn as much as she could instead. Lana sighed. ”Later Lorelle. Later.”

by **Lorelle** on November 2nd, 2013, 6:50 pm

Lorelle was not thrilled with this secret keeping business. She sat on her bed, letting her mother sit next to her but making no move to interact. Her mother was trying to get her to lay down. Even offered to sing her a song. It was tempting, but not tempting enough. The young Vantha wanted to know why tears fell from her mother's eyes and why she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to know everything and she wasn't ready to go to sleep without knowing as much as she could draw out. "It is later mama. Later you said you would tell me. Later it is," she pointed out, crossing her arms and looking over at her mother. Lana stared at her a moment before closing her eyes and smiling. "Oh Lorelle, what a strange little soul you are," she said as her eyes opened and she leaned forward to grab her daughter. "That was not what I meant by later. Can you just let it go and come back here to sleep?"

Lorelle paused before shaking her head. No, no she couldn't wait or sleep. Neither were an option. If she did that than she wouldn't find out what was going on. No, she wanted to know. She turned and grabbed her mother's shirt, looking into the woman's eyes with her own. "Please tell me, I don't like to see you said. It hurts my heart," her voice was small this time. Her eyes showed a mixture of sadness and longing. "I want to fix it, make it better." Lana looked down at her, fresh tears beading in her eyes. She pulled Lorelle into her lap. She wrapped her arms around her child and held her close. "It is okay Lorelle, you don't have to fix it. It will fix itself, it just needs time." Lorelle looked up and pressed a palm to her mother's tear streaked cheek, being silent for once. Her mother reached up and placed a hand on top of Lorelle's, holding it to her cheek.

Lana looked at her daughter, sadness showing clearly on her face. But not only sadness was there. There was also love and tenderness held towards Lorelle. "You have already began to fix it Lorelle. By just being you and just being my daughter," Lana told the young girl softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her daughter's ear, "Come on, why don't we get you back to sleep?" Lana suggested once more. Lorelle shook her head before letting out a yawn. She sighed before nodding her head. She was beginning to get to tired to fight anymore. She crawled off her mother's lap and fell onto the bed. She grabbed the blankets and pulled them halfway up her body, allowing her head to rest on the pillow. She yawned again before turning her head towards her mother. "Tell me a story?" she asked in a soft tired voice. Lana only nodded before turning Lorelle's head to look away from her and to the wall. She sighed before laying down next to Lorelle and wrapping an arm around her.

"Let's see, a story," Lana mused, thinking a moment. There was a pause of silence that filled the room before Lana began. "There was once a woman made of glass. Her body was multiple colors that swirled a moved as she did. She was a small woman, standing no more than three feet tall. But oh could she dance. She danced every night at the Crystal hall. Twirling and jumping with all the rest of the dancers. Her life was exactly how she wanted it, well mostly. See, the little woman was very lonely. She couldn't leave the Crystal Hall for it was to cold outside for her to survive. She would have frozen had she gone outside, so she was stuck forever in the building where she was put to do her job," Lana stopped a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing on, "One day a stranger came up out of the sea and onto the ice shore. No one knew where he came from. Just that he came. He was brought to the Crystal hall by someone the night he arrived. He had turned from a very normal looking man to a tall man with glass looking horns on his head. He wasn't very engaged in what was going on around him at first. He seemed more confused and lost than anything. When he saw the glass woman though, his eyes were fixed."

Lorelle listened closely, wanting to know what happened next. She didn't close her eyes or try to sleep. She wanted to know the end of the story. "He watched the dancer. He watched her spin and flip and twirl across the stage. She was a spectacle to see. She very beautiful and vibrant. Much like the glass made by the Inarta in Wind Reach. In fact, that is were many say the little lady was from. A glass doll once, given life by some outside force. Magic, something that one should only speak of very carefully. So Lorelle, do not speak of it," her mother warned her, not continuing till Lorelle had given a very satisfying nod of her head, "When the show was done and the hall had been cleared out, the glass lady made her way down from the stage. She was about to go to make her way back down to the first level, where all the windows are so she could see out into the snowy world that she isn't allowed to enter. She was stopped though by the man. He gave her the highest praise. Singing of how great she was and how beautiful her movements. The lady thought she should be scared, but she wasn't. She was enthralled with the man's horns. They looked almost like her body, glass like in substance."

Lana paused again, trying to hear if Lorelle was sleeping or not. Lorelle turned her head once more, her eyes heavy but still the want of hearing the story in her eyes. Lana sighed before continuing on. "The man continued to talk of how much he enjoyed her dance and the lady listened with open ears. It was only when he asked her a question, that fear struck on her face. She put her arms up and shrugged, motioning to her mouth. She opened and closed it, but the only thing that could be heard was the little clink, clink, clink of glass hitting glass. The woman could not speak a word. That was why many only called her the glass woman, for none knew her name. The man seemed understanding and with no where else to go, he staid with her that night. He told her small musings and stories that he had picked up throughout his day in Avanthal. He told her of how he had no memories and how he was going to have to create a new life for himself. He didn't tell her of his shift though, so in the morning when she woke up with a very ordinary man on the chair beside the one she made her bed at night, she freaked out."

Lana paused one last time, the story nearing its end. When she heard Lorelle's gentle breathing, she knew she could probably leave. That the young girl was probably asleep. She started to get up when Lorelle spoke. "What happened? Did she ever see the man with horns again?" she asked in a tired voice. Lana sighed before nodding. "She did. After freaking out and waking the man with her frantic clinking sounds across the floor, he told her of his shift. She was skeptical at first, not believe him. But when the man of horns appeared in his place the next night, she knew it was true and she was happy. For once she wasn't lonely all the time and the man staid around. He left in the day and brought stories back to her at the night. They became good friends and everything was alright. The woman had a companion and the man had someone to talk to who wouldn't talk back. And they both lived happily ever after." Lana ended the story there, knowing that that was not the correct ending. That truly, the story stated that the man left the woman and never returned one day. It broke the woman's heart and she went outside after him. She frozen out there, dying as her body was shattered by the overwhelming cold. That was the part Lorelle didn't need to know. In this instance, Lana was sure that telling her the happy story was the best option for her. And by the sound of Lorelle's gentle, even breath, she was right.

.: End :.

by **Lullaby** on December 23rd, 2013, 1:50 am

Lorelle Snowsong :

A quiet song to soothe the heart

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade, please send me a PM and we can figure it out.

Flashback Sadness of the Heart