Completed [Hadyn's Apartment] Here We Are (Hadyn)

[Orion Michaels]

1st of Winter
Hadyn’s Apartment
00:01

How could he have missed it? Wasn’t it too soon? Gods, for being a doctor, he knew next to nothing about how that process worked. He couldn’t believe that it was turning out this way. But maybe he should have. When he saw the note, when he saw what was on the note, all his worries and fears about what was going to happen between them boiled over the top, leaving Orion pacing back and forth in the halls of in front of his room. He knew he should go, he knew he should go right then, but the unknown had never been so terrifying.

One of the chaperones had questioned him earlier, demanding to know why he was out past curfew. When he’d given his reason, the woman had then questioned why he was standing around in the dorms instead of rushing across the city to go and see, and that was something he didn’t have an answer for. If he went to her apartment, then it would all become real. Every opportunity he’d had to back out would fade into the distance and there’d be no more running away from reality.

It was the single most terrifying thing he’d experienced.

It was worse than even Emily had been. He knew what he was getting with her. An untamable brat. But with Hadyn and the newborn? Despite all their talks, despite all their fights, he had no idea what she truly expected. But…

He knew he had to go. There was no other way around it. He only had a bit of time; he’d been informed right when he returned there was a ceremony of some kind early in the morning. He had to get cleaned up and wear that blasted officer’s uniform. But there were several bells yet. He could get across the city, spend some time there, and get back in time. He hoped.

After removing his armor, Orion set off, trying to do anything but think about what he was doing. Training, riding, surgery, anything but a baby.

”….Only a baby..”

He shook his head, frowning as he made his way throughout the city. Streaks of dirt marred his face as he took weary step after weary step. His black locks were wild and unkempt, and his beard was a little fuller and considerably messier. Out on the road there was no one to impress, after all. The only thing out there was something trying to kill him. And Dinah’s judgment, of course.

He wasn’t sure how long it took him to get there; he’d thought on multiple occasions of just dipping into a bar and calling it a night. He could lie, say he missed the note, maybe fib about when he got in, or even better, say the chaperone wouldn’t let him leave. Because a five foot nothing tall woman was really going to be able to stop Orion if he really wanted to go.

No, he was stuck. He had to go.

Nervous, Orion found himself pacing once again when he did finally arrive at the entrance to her apartment. ”That was a nice morning walk,” he muttered. ”Now to go back to the dorms, right?” The squire sigh and went to knock on the door, but his hand froze inches from contact as though some magical field had prevented his entry. There’s another good excuse. Wizards. Wizards wouldn’t let me come see you.

He was such an idiot.

Taking a deep breath Orion brought his hand back and gently rapped his knuckles against the wooden frame. There he would wait, torn on whether he wanted the dark haired woman to hear the knock and become aware of his presence.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The face that greeted Orion when the door wrenched open two chimes later was not, in fact, Hadyn's. Instead it belonged to one exhausted Yorick Grisham. He was bathed in shadow, the room behind him lit by a single paltry candle. He stared at the squire for a tick before a frown settled on his thin lips. He appeared as though he'd been sleeping, ruddy hair tousled and unkempt, eyes narrowed and expression gaunt. Despite this the smith straightened his shoulders as he held the door open enough to see the other man but not yet allowing him entrance.

"Good to see you finally made it," he murmured sullenly at length, conceding with a scowl as his hand pushed the door open a bit further. "She's asleep. Hurry up, then. There's a draft. Get in here." Yorick jerked his head to the side indicating Orion was permitted to enter the chambers. He didn't move from the threshold, providing barely enough room for the squire to slip past.

The apartment smelled heavily of herbs and spices, shadows creeping along the wall. Smouldering coals nestled dimly in the hearth, a cauldron sitting on its iron tripod above. The table near the hearth had a chair pulled aside, evidence of Yorick's occupation. The door on the far wall leading to the bedroom was nearly closed, the tiniest sliver of blackness seeping through.

[Orion Michaels]

It wasn't who he'd expected to answer the door - he hadn't expected one at all - but there he was in all his burly glory. Faint memories had Orion of Hadyn's companion, and of the distaste he held for the promiscuous squire. If it were any other time he'd have set about digging under the weapon smith's skin, annoying him and frustrating him to no end. This would not be one of those times, however, as the squire recognized the seriousness of the situation. "Yeah. The mail delivery doesn't seem to cover the bronze woods," he replied as he slid past the bulky stranger.

The door shut behind him, Yorick silently returning to his place as sentinel. He knew of the man's dislike for him, and he knew he had to be torn on Orion even being there. The judgement for him having a second known child out of wedlock wasn't lost on the blue eyed man. It was safe to say Orion had a philosophically different view on the requirements for marriage and children compared to many of the city, and quite vocally in the past had others expressed their feelings to him on that matter. As though he cared.

There was some sliver of appreciate deep within Orion's soul that Yorick kept his mouth shut at this moment, this most dreadful and most wonderful of occasions.

Orion stood in the middle of the room, staring at the far bedroom entrance. The place was different, much different than the apartment he'd been to before. It was sensible that she got a little more room for the newborn, but if he recalled correctly Hadyn was already quite the minimalist when it came to possessions. She'd made it quite clear that she was less than amenable to gifts. How many fools had given her something despite her protest, he wondered.

"You goin' in or not, Michaels?" Yorick's gruff, stern tone caught the squire off guard. "'Less you taught yourself to move things with your mind, the door ain't moving without your help. Try and be quiet in case they're asleep."

Orion nodded to Yorick and made his way towards the door. If the other door felt like it was made of the most incredible steel, getting past this one felt as though he was assaulting the gates of Syliras themselves. Moving slowly, Orion gingerly placed his hands upon the door, a sense of shame, of unworthiness washing over him as he hesitantly pushed the wooden portal open enough to slide in. Hallowed grounds were these, ones that Orion should have been at days ago.

[Hadyn Skellig]

The bed chamber was slightly cooler than the previous room, its darkness nearly engulfing. The paltry light from the Yorick's candle did little to illuminate the layout for the squire. A smooth-edged bulk stood to his left, most certainly the bed, another sharper form designating a table though the length was indiscernible in the pitch. The sound of calm breathing was audible somewhere in the room. After a tick quiet footsteps followed Orion, the light growing as the red headed smith joined him at the door to Hadyn's bedroom. In his hand was the blob of a candle, illuminating the chamber as he pushed the door open to pass his muscular bulk through.

With the approaching light the room was made apparent to the squire. Though spacious it was devoid of much decoration. A dresser sat to Orion's right, a wash basin and an old trunk flanking the dark bureau. To his left was the bed, the dark green cover pulled up and over a sleeping form. Beyond the bed still bathed in shadow was a rectangular wooden shape, its high walls shrouding the occupant from view.

Yorick moved past Orion to set the candle near the small table beside the bed. Further illumination displayed a sleeping Hadyn on her side, facing the door. Her arm was tucked beneath her head, the other holding a tiny cloth doll in the shape of a dog by her chest. Her hair was freshly braided, falling over one shoulder as her eyelids flexed against the new light. Normally healthy fair skin was ashen, a faint shadow of darkness beneath her eyes. Despite the interruption she slept on.

The male smith retreated, catching Orion in a quick gaze that lingered somewhere between stern and appreciative. Brushing close to the squire Yorick's voice was hushed as he paused beside Orion.

"I'm off," he murmured. "I'll be back in t'mornin' to check in." He began to walk past but hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at Hadyn before looking at Orion with the faintest smile. "Congrats on your son, mate."

With that the redhead departed, leaving through the narrow opening. Beyond the sound of his footsteps could be heard near the hearth, stirring the coals, collecting his possessions and finally exiting the apartment, the door thudding shut carefully.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion squinted as he struggled to adjust to the darkness of the room. The faint light from the previous room did little to aid him in his search for Hadyn and their child. Soft breaths betrayed their presence, though until Yorick came to aid, he couldn’t have been sure of where they lay. He allowed him to pass the squire without any protest, welcoming the dim light into the peaceful room. A half smile brushed over Orion’s lips when he saw Hadyn resting peacefully, not bothered by the intrusion of either he nor Yorick, and especially by the light.

She had to be exhausted. The note had been only a few days old. If they’d gotten back sooner, he could have kept his word, if he’d been around, maybe he could have helped. With what, he wasn’t sure, but no doubt the woman had assumed Orion made his decision and moved on. Yet, here he was once again, bouncing in and out of her life. The squire had warned her long ago that it was how it would be; he’d be unreliable for the child. ”Wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t give me a half though,” he muttered quietly to himself. It was surely a hectic few days since the kid was birthed.

Yorick passed by Orion once more and spoke. ”W-wait, you’re leaving?” Orion moved towards Yorick to protest his departure. There was no way he could be left with Hadyn and their child. ”I have to go to a ceremony in a handful of bells! It’s really..important....and..knight……stu…..a son?” The realization of the smith’s words became apparent on his face as his forceful whispers faded into silence. His hand sought out the frame of the door and he used it to support his weight as he leaned against it, stunned into speechlessness.

Those were words he never expected to hear.

Those were words he wondered if he was ever meant to hear.

The squire couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know how to believe it. The birth of a child, his child, seemed like such an impossible thing for him. One as irresponsible as he was, as he had been shouldn’t have been entrusted with another life, but he’d told her he’d be there.

Ceaseless thoughts and possibilities assaulted Orion’s mind as he tried to figure out just what he was supposed to do. Yorick had abandoned him with a smile. At the time it seemed friendly, congratulatory. Now, he wondered if maybe it’s because he knew what a struggle it would be. Fear gripped at his heart as panic began to eat at his defenses.

He could just leave. She was sleeping peacefully. The kid was asleep, too, from the sounds of it. Yorick would be back in a few hours and there wouldn’t be any issues at all. ”Yeah. That’s not a real option, Orion.”

Shaking his head, the blue eyed man returned to the depths of the bedroom, moving carefully throughout the mostly barren room. Trying as he could, Orion picked up his feet and set them down lightly to avoid scuffing and making any noise that could wake babe or mother. Curiosity getting the better of him, Orion made his way around to the other side of the bed. With a doll being in Hadyn’s arms, he assumed it lay elsewhere, and the faint outline of a cradle, shadows of the wooden bed flickering against the wall beside it were visible in his approach.

”Hey there, little guy,” he whispered, bringing himself to a knee as he arrived by his child. Sound asleep, the unintentional soul lay blissfully unaware of his father’s presence. ”..Well..what now?” Orion leaned back against the bed, looking down into cradle as he waited. He was there to play some sort of sentinel over these two, it seemed. Although he was exhausted the nerves of the situation would keep him awake for a little while longer. Orion rested his head against the mattress so he could comfortably wage battle with the fear in his mind. ”Gods, what do I do now…?”

[Hadyn Skellig]

It would not be the light that pulled the woman from sleep, her breathing remaining slow and measured. The sound of Orion moving across the floor was barely registered in her subconscious, a faint reminder of the world beyond her exhaustion. But still she slept. It wasn't until the squire leaned against the mattress, the unexpected shift of the bed nudging her from slumber. As consciousness seeped in the candlelight near her face had its way, blazing red behind closed lids. Groaning quietly at the interruption Hadyn turned her face into her arm, bringing the toy dog close to her as she tried in vain to reclaim unconsciousness. It would not be.

Relenting the brunette turned onto her back, arm raising to cover her eyes as she sighed. The baby was still sleeping. It didn't occur to her, in her tired stupor, what caused the mattress to move and awaken her. Looking over to the candle with narrowed eyes the weaponsmith sat up half way, supporting her upper body on straight arms as her head lolled to one side, blinking through the fetters of sleep. Had she kept her gaze ahead she would've never noticed the dark haired individual seated beside her son's crib, that dark mop of hair so familiar.

For the tiniest moment an unnamed panic pricked her heart, the thought that some unknown person sat beside the crib but it was quickly replaced with rational thought. Yorick wouldn't let just anyone in. And who else but the baby's father had thick midnight hair? Hadyn took a moment to process what his presence meant. Sure frustration and mild hurt festered somewhere in there but all she could feel at the moment was relief. He'd arrived.

Walking her hands across the bed until she was laying down near him the woman looked at the crib. From her angle she could just barely make out the sleeping form of the baby, his calm breathing assuring her Orion's entrance hadn't disturbed him. How long had the squire been in the room? Bringing her forearms up so she could lean her upper torso above them she looked sidelong at the baby's father before speaking.

"Hey," she whispered with a smile, not wanting to surprise him or wake the boy.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion wasn’t sure how much time passed as he sat on the cold stone floor, staring past his son into the darkness of the dim room. He couldn’t let his mind think on it, and he could not allow his eyes to focus on the babe and actually see what he looked like. To do so would be to admit how real it was; Orion wasn’t sure if he could do such a thing.

Not that he had much of a choice.

The kid was there, breathing, sleeping, and completely oblivious to the existence of the frustrating squire. His own flesh and blood. This was somehow much worse than with Emily’s sudden appearance in his life. At least he’d then had the chance to live without a worry, without a care in the world. Was it irresponsible? Of course it was. Even Orion wouldn’t have argued with such a thing.

Foolish and young.

Feels like only one of those can apply now..

He’d heard the woman begun to stir before she spoke. He thought about saying something, alleviating the fear that an intruder had invaded her quarters and stalked after her newborn, but at the moment he would have welcomed a knockout blow. All he’d wanted to do was sleep, recover from the exhausting patrol. Such hopes were fleeting at this point.

”Congratulations,” he whispered, not bothering, no, unable to turn and look at her. A man so full of words, of wits and retorts, and mostly of jokes could find none of them in the current time. The gravity of the situation weighed upon him heavily. Too heavily. Everything he did felt like it would have such a huge impact on the rest of his life. Perhaps it would. He’d said he would be there for the child, but to what extent? Would she want to hack out all the details then? What joke had the gods played upon them to have two people so poor at expression facing such a trial?

”Sorry I was unable to be there. Patrolling in the woods, pretending to be a knight.” Orion sat up a bit straighter so he could look down into the cradle better. ”What’s his name?” He assumed she’d given him something. There was no way she could have waited on a man she could not be sure would arrive in the first place. If he’d actually been in Syliras when the child was born, he couldn’t honestly answer whether or not he would have been there. Thankful he’d never have to face such a thing.

Blue eyes locked onto the cradle, fearfully unwilling to move from their place as though certain doom awaited him if his gaze wandered about. He knew it was absurd, but he'd never had a lesson how to be a dad. Between Emily, and now the newborn, he really could have used one.

[Hadyn Skellig]

"It's alright," she murmured, following his gaze to stare at the shadowed crib holding their son. Only the faintest breathing could be heard, his tiny form swaddled in blankets as he dozed. Orion was drained - a combination of his patrol and the weight of simply being here. "I'm glad you're here now," she added before biting her bottom lip. It was true. He didn't have to show up. Though she wasn't sure of the bell his countenance and words indicated it had to be either late night or early morning. That he'd come at all was good enough for her.

"Liam," Hadyn answered at length. "Liam Michaels Skellig." She wasn't sure how he'd take the name. There was the tiniest gnawing of guilt in her that he would've wished to name the child. Or at least helped. But per his earlier suggestion she went ahead and moved on with her life, accepting that he hadn't been there and content that he was here now. Shifting on the bed the woman leaned her back against the headboard, staring down at him as she smoothed the blanket over her legs. She was still somewhat shaky, using the repetitive motion of running her hand across the sheet to calm her unsteady hand.

"Would you... there's hot water over the fire in the other room. Would you mind filling one of the mugs on the table with it? Y'ought to bring one for yourself too."

Despite his apparent fatigue Orion seemed to be best when he had something to do, not unlike herself. Hadyn didn't want to force any awkward interactions between them. She was simply too tired. And since their son was sleeping as if nothing in the world could phase him she figured she'd give the squire something to do.

[Orion Michaels]

It felt like he was trying to make his way across the narrowest of bridges or even the thinnest of ice. Despite everything they’d been through, he still wasn’t sure how to talk to Hadyn. It was certainly going to make birthdays awkward. Both of them had seen the worst the other had to offer and stepped gingerly to avoid bringing forth that wrath once more. Even in a peaceful situation as this one, Orion was tense, and he knew Hadyn wasn’t dumb. She’d notice, and she wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s how they worked, it’s how they survived.

”I thought the babe would wait until the Winter to arrive. How much did I miss him by?” He looked down at the tiny human, listening to Liam’s soft breathing breaking the silence of the peaceful room. It was hard to believe he’d had any part in the creation of this innocent creature. He’d missed out on this part of Emily’s life, but the little fiend she was, there was no mistaking that she was his. How different would things had been if he’d been there when she’d been like this? Maybe I’d get called ‘petch face’ a few less times. It didn’t really matter, because little Liam Michaels Skellig was the star of the show now.

”It’s a good name,” he replied, a soft smile temporarily breaking his somber expression. Despite his exhaustion and the circles under his eyes, his brilliant blue gaze still maintained their vibrancy. For all of his trepidation about the child, when he heard his name, his son’s name, he couldn’t maintain the barriers he’d tried to put up. At least for a moment, he could accept it. He didn’t know the history behind the first name, just why it was important, but he appreciated that if nothing else, he’d share a part of the child’s name.

”Thank you,” he whispered softly before setting to help with her request. He still avoided eye contact, though from the side of his gaze he could see she was still weak from the birth. He must have missed it by a few days at most. He knew nothing of the actual birthing of a child, but the aftercare of a mother was something he’d done from time to time. It was a terrible strain on the body, and even in Syliras where skilled physicians were a short distance away, the worst could happen. By the way she moved about and spoke Orion felt comfortable she was on the way to recovery.

The squire pulled himself to his feet, quietly and carefully as he was able. Although it would be just like him to ruin some of the brief slumber son and mother had shared together, he’d do what he could to avoid doing just that. Holding his breath, Orion took long, goofy looking strides as he crept across the room to the other room.

Momentary relief rushed over the squire when he escaped from the bedroom. For a split-tick Orion’s eyes fell on the door that led back out into the city, the sweet temptation of escape whispering in the back of his mind.

Don’t even think about it, Orion.

Shaking his head for even contemplating such a thing, Orion made his way over to the fire to obtain the hot water for them both. His leaving would only put more strain on something that miraculously hadn’t broken entirely already.

Orion took the handle of the kettle carefully before navigating over to the table to pour two hot mugs of water out. After returning the kettle to its place on the fire, Orion took a mug in each hand and made his way back into the room, taking another deep breath before entering.

”Here you go,” he said, offering her the mug in his right hand. ”I’m sorry I woke you. I can’t imagine you’ve gotten much sleep since he showed. I’ll watch him until Yorick returns if you want to sleep more.” He finally let his gaze fall on Hadyn’s face. Both of them were exhausted, if for very different reasons. Neither was more or less than the other, but it was a miracle they could keep their eyes open. ”I’m not sure I’ll make the greatest of conversation otherwise, but I can see what I can muster.”

[Hadyn Skellig]

The woman smiled at his response. Their relationship was nothing if not complicated and he was clearly trying his best. She couldn't really ask for more. Both were dealing with the hand they were dealt. Orion's appearance here, however late, meant more than she'd be able to tell him. Perhaps someday she'd find a way to say it properly. Despite the relief and love she had for their son the gnawing worry that she'd be doing this entirely alone wouldn't abate. And though she was well aware the squire's presence in Liam's life wouldn't exactly be consistent she was comforted that he at least stood by his word. It was a good sign if ever there was one in their lives.

"Not long," she replied as he stood. Watching him walk carefully away the woman leaned her head against the headboard and closed her eyes. He seemed to be alright with the name - appreciative even. Good. He knew Hadyn was not the sort of woman to fret and pine over his absence, waiting to name the baby until he returned and they could 'talk' about it. He'd never expressed any interest in giving the child a particular name that meant anything to him so she went ahead and chose one meaningful to her. There was no doubt in her mind, however, that the boy should bear some trace of his paternal lineage.

Her eyes opened as he returned, mug in hand. Reaching across the bed to accept the warm vessel brown eyes found his blue with a nod. He was just as worn out as she if not more so. Sitting back with her drink one corner of her lips pulled into a half smile when he spoke. Brushing the dark braid over her shoulder she sat up a little straighter.

"Don't worry, Orion," she assured him gently. He looked so awkward standing there. Should she send him into the other room? perhaps that would make him feel better. No. He was here and shouldn't be cast off. Holding the mug with one hand she patted to the empty space beside her. She pulled the covers back a little so he might join her. Normally this action would be entirely uncomfortable in their predicament. But considering how exhausted the both were Hadyn didn't have the strength to concern herself with proper behavior. They'd had a child together, for Tyveth's sake. Sitting next to each other was tame. "You look like shyke," she added before taking a sip, watching him over the rim.

"I'm not much for conversation either," she murmured after a moment, holding the mug in both hands on her lap. "Why don't you rest for a bit? Looks as though you've had a rough evenin'. Or morning. I can't tell."