48th of Winter 513AV Right than and there, he could feel the cold emptiness that had always been his undoing, he remembered every single moment he shared, every moment now lost to, ash. Senghor could only kneel in the snow and drop his head, in shame, regret and pain. He was still but a little cub lost without his guardians, his mother and father. The ivory tears of snow covered everything that once belong to his name, but beneath the snow laid ash and memories now gone, burnt and destroyed. Before him were the black opposing jagged pillars of what remained, taken by fire. The contrast of black and white was beautiful in a way and only someone who looked clearly could admire it. An estate once stood there, an estate earned through blood and sweat now that he knew, a house, no a home of grand proportion once towered over him and now it was lost, to his selfish careless nature. He'd returned to Sunberth so long ago and only now did he come here, where he grew, learned and lived a happy life before they passed on, before he fell to his own loneliness and succumb to drink and whores. A steamy sigh fell from his lips as he felt the shattering of a breaking heart, the cold of winter to him was the cold of disappointment, here where he knelt down and tried his best to hold back the pain and sadness he harbored. He couldn't cry, he just couldn't because his father told that tears cannot be shed, a statement opposed by his loving mother that tears only made him stronger. He was conflicted, lost, and angry, why he asked himself, why did he not just die that night and join his parents in the afterlife? He didn't find his answer, he couldn't... As another sigh slipped from his lips and he looked up at the falling snow, he could see it now, engulfed by its grand shadow, a home lost with everything within. An estate lost, to fire and stupidity, Senghor couldn't fathom why he'd been so stupid, why he could be such a disappointment. He knew that wherever his mother and father were, they hung their heads and shame whenever they thought of their son. For so long he kept the memory hidden yet today it would return, as his mind saw figurative mansion just laying there, he inclined his head to ghosts of the past, they came and huddled around his home. He saw as the debtors knocked at his door and bellowed his name, yet he remained inside still asleep from a night of wasting away his life, than first came the rocks, shattering every window violently and scaring the flesh of the house, than the door came down and they searched the house, finding nothing, no one for he'd slipped out... A few minutes became hours as the went through the manor hungrily searching for wealth, by now Senghor had ran as far as his lungs allowed and truly they allowed for a great distance, he perched himself upon a hill from what he remembered and watched, hoping they'd just leave. But than , the fire... It's tendrils of warmth and destruction soon engulfed the house greedily whilst they cheered and spat words about never messing with the boss again and taking payment, yet where was he to even account for the words lost in the wind? As the memory came back to him Seng all but clenched his head in pain and grunted as the fogged fragments still remained lost, he just couldn't remember anything else from there onwards. Luckily by than only he had remained and both his parents had succumb to natural causes and passed and only he remained, only he could be blamed. He didn't know what else to do, with the snow slowly falling and all that pain returning with a vengeance all he wanted was just to get a drink and suffocate the memories like old times, but hell what would happen if now he suffocated the memories and his cottage in the Quarters got burnt down? As Senghor stood and looked at the lost home once again, he could only drop his head in shame, he turned and gazed towards Sunberth embrace once again, he wanted a drink so badly yet knew that it always got him in trouble, as he turned away from his home daring not to look back in fear that he might his aged parents glaring at him in hatred and spite, he headed forward towards the bosom of his city. "Shyke..." was all that his lips could mutter at that moment, it was all that he ever truly say... |