17th Day of Winter, 513 AV
So what was she, then?
Celeste massaged the tops of her shins. They ached fiercely – in fact, every part of her did. She’d been in there forever it seemed. Ever since she’d discovered how to work with the Pit rather than against it, she no longer had a reason to leave. Sure, she grew tired, hungry and occasionally restless, but those moments were so few and far between that she scarcely noticed them at all. Fatigue was her only real demon. If she were to nod off, she’d wake up all topsy turvy, which in the end, took hours to repair.
The question remained. She really, truly couldn’t remember anymore. Sure, she knew she was human, like Brom and Tierra. She understood it like she understood the sky was blue. You could tell just by looking. But all the other facts of her biology had been pulled under with the tide. She’d spent a whole hour and a half just trying to figure out how tall she was. It had annoyed her so deeply that after a while, she gave up and just picked a height. After all, what did it really matter how tall she once had been? Or what the exact color of her skin was? Those things were trivial. They didn’t really matter at all.
What mattered was what she could be. So perhaps it was a futile question to begin with. The Pit gave her an enterprising little nudge and she agreed; time to change again. Gently moving alongside the force, she guided it toward the web of her nails, wielding it as one would wield a scalpel. The apprentice began single-mindedly etching details – warping the thick, clear strands of carbon toward the inflexible structure of opaque and deepest black, her nails taking on a brilliant luster. Slowly, carefully, she worked to replicate the night sky. It was good practice, to try new morphs. The results were shiny black nails marbled with white. Not at all what she’d hoped. The tiny pinhole lights weren’t there. In fact, the marbling looked more like the walls of the Palsa Hydrasa than the sky. With a sigh, she loosed her grip on the hand of the Pit, allowing it to retreat from whence it came.
The trouble with morphing seemed to lie in the abstract. It was hard to morph things a certain way, because she just didn’t know how. It was impossibly frustrating. In fact, she’d almost done serious damage to herself a few times. If it weren’t for the aid of the Pit and the extreme pain to follow, she would have bled to death on the inside. Or at least, that was what Tierra had said. ’Don’t get creative.’ She’d chastised. ’You shouldn’t be trying anything down there.’
Of course, one thing wouldn’t change. Celeste was as stubborn as a mule. She would still try things, just more carefully this time.
She turned her nails this way and that way in the light. They gleamed rather prettily, at least. If anyone asked, she’d say it was intentional. That was the mark of a great artist, after all.
Which led her to thoughts of her Wizard Examination. To think she’d undergone so much trauma as an apprentice… Well she sincerely hoped that it wouldn’t follow her as she ascended in rank. She brought it on herself, anyway. Riyanna was right. Of course, the Warden was always right. She grumbled. For as mature as she was in some ways, Celeste was still a child. And children hated to admit when they were wrong.
But this was assuming she’d even make it to her exams - and that she’d be good enough to pass them. Of course, it’d be difficult to deny her. The facts were self-evident. Were she to survive the Heartlands, she’d be extraordinary. This was also considering how powerful she’d grown and how fast she’d learned in a single season. But she wasn’t out of the woods yet. In fact, she was leery to attribute much thought to the future in the first place.
Were she being totally honest, Celeste didn’t feel special. She was really just a tool. In fact, the closer she got to becoming a Wizard, the scarier her life became. When she was little, she thought of Wizards as special. But now she saw the truth of the Island and by extension, all the people on it. Special? Sure. Evil, twisted, enamored by power, detached from the joys of life? That too. Both seemed to be a package deal when it came to Sahova.
Now Goron Silverheart? He was special. She smiled quietly, coyly almost. She’d never indulged in much hero worship before. But he was powerful, merciful and more importantly, alive. He hadn't sacrificed his identity to the maggot heads. That man played the game and came out on top. She desperately wanted to know how. How did he do it? If only she could talk to him, one day, and find out…