Closed [Squire Dormitories] Right there

[Fallon]

Fallon froze, her back straightening almost in recoil. She could feel the gaze boring down upon her, the judging eyes that took it in and silently regarded it. Her lips gave a tremble, the buried rawness clawing its way up swiftly. It clawed at her throat, the hovering finger tips above those lines. And whilst she held the blanket close across her breast, did her head bow in reaction. Why did she show him such? Why did she open her heart and trust to him in such a fashion?

Screwing her eyes shut the girl gave a flinch, a low whine almost in response to his questioning. What was once calm, tensed and tightened. A nervous recoil as he closed in. She did could not look at him, or the shaking voice of her friend. She curled when the tips came close, cocooning herself inwards as the tips drifted close. She barely managed a croak, "It's why. It hurts, a lot. A... lot. I just..." She sucked in the air, a tremble barely escaping, "It scares me. I can't explai-"

It was his arms that wrapped around her frame, those wriggling fingers interlacing with hers. Her head still not lift to look, nor did she squirm when she felt the small of her back press into him. So warm, so worried he was to this revealing. And whilst she simply sat there trembling in his arms, the attempt of him trying to comfort. To bring her calm, to reassure and cast away the world for a moment. Digits squeezed back, her head leaning back and resting upon his shoulder. Her lids still remained clenched, her expression pained and trembling for the while his whisper entered her ear.

At first she did not answer; she had to gather her thoughts together before formulating words. Although it was something she had initiated, it was far from a subject she talked about. Willingly at least. Lips would grow tight, the walls and barriers raised between her and it - her reminder of her own ignorance. That burn that would forever linger in her mind until the end.

"I know I'm an idiot," she mumbled, "A big idiot. A real idiot." Raising a hand she smothered her eyes with it, her throat constricting as a rattle breath escaped. When did it become so hard to open up to people? Her other hand squeezed tighter in his, the arm shaking in his grasp. Swallowing she forced the words to continue, "I was scared. Too scared. Scared that I would be shouted at. Scared that people would think I'm some freak. Scared that I would be taken. Scared that I would be..." She shook her head, "Alone." There was a long exhale, "And that's frightening. To become little more than a play thing, a sheet to carve upon. When everything has to be put in the hands of another, of someone you trust. Only to be betrayed. Petch it. Petch it all."

No more, she could not talk any more. Not at the moment at least. Not when it was turning raw. But, it was the start of a releasing emotional pressure. And whilst those walls came tumbling down, so did the mask to reveal the frightened woman beneath it all, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't throw this onto you."

[Orion Michaels]

All of his hard work relieving her of the tension tormenting her frame was undone in a single choice. If she hadn’t exposed herself so, offered him one of her biggest secrets, maybe they could have gone on pretending that everything was okay.

But it wasn’t.

He could almost see her muscles tying themselves once again into knots, the stresses of day to day life, the worries, fear, and anxiety of a life time not finding themselves defeated by an amateur massage therapist. It turned out that the embrace of a friend could do much more.

When she began to speak, her uneven, cautious words, Orion said nothing. Instead he just held her. While it may have seemed a genuine action, filled with affection, in reality he was just as selfish as always. Orion craved human contact in a way he couldn’t describe. It had been so long since he’d just been able to touch someone. Training, fighting, patrolling, riding, sleeping. That’s all it felt like he did, and thusly, Orion found self-centered joy in her moment of sorrow, though he would never tell her that. In her weakness, he could find a strength, even if that strength was just to embrace his oldest friend.

He let her sit there in silence as she contemplated her reply. There was no rush, no need to hurry at all. Neither of them were going anywhere anytime soon. Ticks, chimes, bells, days. It didn’t matter.

Intimately aware of her tension, her worry, and every subtle move of her body while she tried to make sense of what was going on. ”I can’t imagine what you went through, Fal,” he replied softly, squeezing her hand in reassurance. ”But no one who would judge you or yell at your or in any way put you down for your suffering is worth the breath they spent doing it.” Orion didn’t know if he believed the words he said; his own suffering had left scars not so immediately visible. Still, it seemed the right words for the situation.

The squire’s brow furrowed at her apology. He knew all too well the signs of someone putting up walls when feeling emotionally vulnerable. That was why he usually ended up yelling at people who tried to get to know him. At least she was polite about it. ”I won’t try and pull more from you, but if you are stopping out of fear of burdening me, well, don’t. If you want to talk to me, talk.”

Orion swallowed, trying to keep his own cool, his own center as he tried to offer support to a friend. He was hardly the emotionally stable one here, but for now, if only a few moments, he could be a rock.

He hoped.

[Fallon]

She let him hold her, the warmth, the gentle touch needed where it was. It was there that she found some sense of clarity - unaware that even he himself was finding some sense of joy in it. His reassurance was enough, subtle though it was. And his honesty of course - he did not know, nor would she share the history behind their preciseness, at least not with some bulling and serious luring out with words. But she held onto him regardless, her inner turmoil finding a moment of peace with the friend she always came back to.

Fallon removed her damp hand and slid her eyes across to his, the forming tears being blinked away as she did. In honesty she was sceptical of his words, but they were there for the moment. That attempt to find a connection, some ground in which to work up from. A tender situation that would require careful work and attention. To be cocooned up and have the world shut out for a while. Just her and him. There was a in intake of breath, the eyes resting upon him for those few ticks, thinking and considering her next move. To resist her own torn cravings; to retreat or to accept.

"I just," she reached her hand up the finger tips tracing those blue eyes. She paused in her words, her face creasing as she met them. Just what? Wanted to be held? To be comforted? To be told that everything was okay?, "I guess I just want to feel alive." Her lip gave a tremble, a struggle to bring forth some coherent words. Before she was simply held, or received little more than a comforting pat - nothing more was said or spoken and the whole event was put to one side. That was as she preferred it, but now the opportunity was given to elaborate, to speak more and share she did not have a clue on what to do.

"I don't even know where to begin," she shook her head and her expression falling into one of sombre, "I mean, where to start or what to explain, or even how to explain it. I bury things, you know that. So much so they become hard to talk about. Even when I want to share."

The craving hovered there, her form moving and twisting in his hold so her own arms found themselves wrapping round, clinging almost. But with every tick did it find some confidence, did it find some peace and did she find herself crawling out of the internal shell she had placed herself in. Her cocoon was cracking and through that she was growing in her own self. Clearing her throat she met his eye, "Can we... keep doing this, please?" Her cheeks tinted slightly, "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to. And I understand if you... It's nice, okay? It makes me feel... safe."

[Orion Michaels]

This was what friends were supposed to do for one another, right? It had been so long since he'd shared something this truly intimate with someone. Even when Fallon had come back to Syliras, when once again they yelled, argued, and finally embraced under the watch of Kova's Well, it hadn't been anything like this. Neither of them were the people they were now. Walls that had existed for as long as both of them could remember were a little shorter, a little weaker.

He didn't move when she began to trace her fingers along his face. Although he made most things about him, he realized that this was as from from centered on the former physician as it could be. The topic was there, ready to be addressed or ignored. It was her call and he would respect that, despite the desire for more than a glimpse into the woman's psyche. He nodded slightly as she spoke on life, wanting to feel it, and he understood all too well. Not one to sympathize or empathize often, at least not without a good bit of drink before hand, Orion just continued to keep his arms around her in silent support. Anything he would have said, could have said, was only to sound patronizing despite its noble intent.

"Search," he said softly, warm breath whispering in her ear. "and if that point is there, a place to start, I know you'll find it. You're the most god-awful stubborn person I know, so I've got no doubt." A soft smile turned the corners of his lips as his thumb gently traced the skin of her hand again and again. ”I don’t want you to parade your skeletons for me, Fallon. I know all about leaving a sleeping dog where it lay, but . .” Orion trailed off, his own voice catching in uncertainty. They’d always been there for one another, but not since they were much younger had they been verbose about it. It was assumed, and perhaps they never truly knew how much they could rely on one another as a result.

”Just don’t carry the new ones alone, okay? Talk to me..talk to . . well . . whoever you want, of course. You don’t have to support that weight by yourself.” When Fallon turned in his hold, embracing him back, he only held her closer. ”No need to ask,” he said, resting the side of his head against hers. They would sit there as long as she needed. Orion wasn’t going to be the person who rushed and ruined a moment where Fallon Skylar let down her guard and showed vulnerability. Her fiercely guarded personality had walls bigger and thicker than those found in Syliras. ”We’ll take care of each other, Fal, best as we can, like we always have.”

[Fallon]

Search.

Her lip broke a curl, a tremble of them as she felt the words caress her ear. She felt the gentle touch, the eyes catching the turn of lips in her gaze. Always there for each other, to scream, to shout, to have a shoulder to cry upon. Even if they were both too stubborn to buckle down and accept that in their youth. Or simply too worried to put additional weight upon the shoulders of another. Inhaling she took in his scent, that familiar warmth, those lingering memories from a source of comfort she believed she had out grown.

Pressing herself against him she continued this hold, the gentle breathing filling the silence. Both were sensitive and uncertain, gingerly touching old wounds upon their souls. And although right now she had revealed herself to him in such an open way, she could finally allow herself to move on from the chains that held her back. And whilst she continued to grow, she let herself place some form of connection and trust in him.

Searching, yes it was time to do that. There was no running away from in any longer. And when she found the start of it all, then she would have to follow it all the way to the end for an answer. No matter what it was. And perhaps with that she could find some peace within herself at last. Close and interlocked, she let her fingers grip onto him. The gentle squeeze and wrapping up of limbs, sheltered from the world around them. Their fears and worries of shunning, seeking and craving for that simple acceptance of who they were.

"I'll try not to," she hummed in his ear, "I promise I won't. Or try not to." She continued to hold herself up to him, savouring the moment of security. There was only a tremble as the walls continued their steady descent down, and the frightened girl Fallon was gradually put aside. Burrowing her head into his chest she released a final mumble, "Yeah, just like we always have."

Always.

[Ball]

Fallon
Interrogation +1
Socialization +2

Lores
Orion: Actually Good at Massaging
Opening up about the past is difficult and scary
Being Orion’s ‘pycon’

Orion
Medicine +1
Massaging +2
Socialization +2

Lores
Professionalism amongst Friends
Fallon’s Past in Circular Scars

Notes

Beautiful read, I found this thread to well written and I am entirely envious of the detail of the written word. Well done!

As for this grading: I do apologize if you feel it isn’t what you were expected, any questions PM me please. I also feel horrible for it taking so long to be graded. >.<