Closed The Secrets We Keep [Vanator]

[Reven Heath]

Day 72 of Spring, 514 A.V.

She could feel herself being pulled deeper into the black abyss, sparkling lights of another kind coming up to greet her. Upon reaching out, those lights latched onto her hand, burning it, sinking into her flesh till it appeared as a glowing stain against her sun kissed skin. The lights devoured her body, attaching to her till she glowed with a faded white light, strangling her, yet comforting her. A moment past and soon, she was staring at the white lights as they hovered above her, a completely defined mirror of herself, her cougar self.

And then, with hatred, the animal lunged toward her throat. Its teeth were prepared to end her.

Reven's eyes snapped open, adjusting to the dark surroundings of the room. Picking her head up, she looked around for any sign of danger but found only the sleeping form of her bondmate resting behind her. He appeared relaxed, deep in sleep and for that, she envied him. The dreams kept her weary, waking her with a fright that she had only just become accustom to. The cougar didn't understand the dreams but she had a feeling they were related to her caretaker, Mutaldi. After their less than friendly discussion about her parents, Reven had never felt the same.

Pushing herself up, the feline placed her paws forward and stretched, gently sliding off the bed. Bright lights swirled around her, familiar to the ones in her dreams, before she was standing bare within the middle of the cold, dark room. Reven paused for a moment, contemplating going back to sleep. She was not resting well anymore and even though Vanator did his best to comfort her, the mind was a tricky thing to sooth. Instead, she pulled the door open and shut it silently behind her, needing a run.

Reven was thankful for the warmer weather. She could tell summer was approaching by the morning air, wet and thick, but warm. It blanketed her body in a thin layer of moisture as she stepped out of the within and peered around. It was still dark, but not completely black. The sky was a dark blue, signaling the rise of Syna's light. Reven had about an hour before her bond mate would wake and so, took the opportunity to shift, launching herself into the grasses around the Sanctuary. It relaxed the Kelvic with each pound of her paws into the soil, she felt as if the dreams were being crushed beneath them. The dreams troubled her enough to affect her daily living but not enough for her to seek out help. The cougar didn't want help, not over something so insignificant.

Time past while she went about marking the surroundings and once her task was completed, she waited by the cliff, watching as golden rays bled across calm, ocean waters. The sky was perfectly clear, mixing between a soft orange, red, the fading into brilliant pink and purple. It was beautiful and the gold color of light reminded her so much of Vanator, shining so incredibly against the light of others. There was, however, something deeper that lurked within him. From time to time, she could feel it through the bond, a subtle hint at something unusual. The feline had been meaning to ask him about it but didn't want to violate his privacy. The bond ran very deep, she could tell, and because of that it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide much of anything from each other.

After glancing upon the rising sun, Reven made her way back to her bondmate's sleeping form. It didn't take long for her to reach him and shifted just before pushing the door open. She didn't care for clothes and he had come to realized that quickly, within the first few weeks of their bonding. Reven slept naked, mostly due to the fact that it became too cold at night for her and she wanted to move into her other form easier. So the Kelvic's bare body was no surprise to him. Moving to the man, Reven bent down and brushed a few fingers over his temple, running her hand back into his hair. Even after they had bonded, she could still feel the pleasant electricity every time she touched him. The cougar coaxed him awake softly, not needing any words to tell him she was there. When he would open his eyes to look at her, she would simply smile back, staring at him with a steady gaze, full of admiration and love for the man. Reven very rarely told him such words but the bond let him know quite obviously.

“It's morning time. Cadra should be starting breakfast soon, are you hungry?” Rising to her feet, Reven turned to change into her clothes. “If you don't hurry, I'm going to take your portion of the meal..!”

[Vanator]

It was only with a vague recollection that Vanator ever noted Reven's nightly unrest, even though the bond itself nudged him of his bondmate's frequent bouts of awakening. Frankly, Vanator's sleep had become deeper, sweeter, since he bonded with Reven and she moved into his suite. Her presence cloaked his being with comfort and love through the pervasive bond, her nearness, whether the soft press of her nude human form or the cozy cuddle of the large cougar, lulling the Drykas into a deep slumber.

Only subconsciously did Van sense Reven's early rising, his dream populated by a beautiful sunrise over the ocean, a gift from Reven's eyes delivered through the bond. His first awareness of the day was the tender brush of her fingers against his brow, and the soft tug of her digits combing through his hair. The Kelvic's familiar voice, rich with affection, greeted her bondmate with a playful tone. There was no better way to awaken, Vanator thought, for not only by touch and sound did Reven rouse her lover from sleep, but the lively pulse of their bond rang through him as well.

Vanator's eyelids cracked open, eyes still swollen from sleep, catching Reven's grin before she stood and moved to her wardrobe. The Denusk's eyes followed, the blur of sleep wiped away as he admired the Kelvic's svelte form, how Reven moved with predatory grace. He laughed at her joke, both knowing it could very well be true. Reven's human form was not petite, the woman as tall as her bondmate, but sported a trim frame wrapped in lean corded muscle. Any trace of fat that she stored as the cougar over winter was gone. But Reven was, after all, a large predator, and to sustain her took quite a bit of food. She could easily match Vanator's hefty appetite, and the teasing about who devoured the larger meal was ongoing.

"Just leave something for the kids, my darling savage." Vanator taunted as he rolled to the edge of the bed, sitting up. With Reven sharing his bed now, he too took to sleeping in the nude, the Kelvic more than enough to warm him through the night. He stood, strolled past Reven, stopping long enough to press a kiss to her mouth and slide a caressing hand down her back, before moving to gather his own clothes for the day.

Vanator pulled on a green cotton shirt, one of the newer ones he had purchased earlier in the season to replace the garments Reven tended to shred. Once the bondmates were dressed, Van took Reven by the hand and they headed towards the kitchen for breakfast.

[Reven Heath]

Sauntering away from Vanator, Reven couldn't help but smile lightly at the attraction she felt through the bond. It's how she knew his eyes were on her, inspecting her lean frame as she ventured to find attire to wear. The feline reveled in it, cocooned in the sensations he brought her since they were the only things keeping the depression from eating her alive. Being around Vanator helped Reven in a number of ways. That's why, as often as she could, Reven would be close enough to him that she could easily reach out and touch her bondmate.

He was the flame that kept her heart welded together, the being that roused life and love in her hollowed soul, the man that treated her body as more of a temple than she could and weaved passion into her that made her dance and sing better than anything else. Vanator was her life line, he kept her sane, collected, looking forward to the future with happiness. Her lover didn't understand how much Reven needed him, but the Kelvic woman hoped it showed.

A chuckle resonated from the feline as she sifted through the clothes she had. “Oh, my love. I'm not the only savage under Kavala's roof that can eat her out of house and home.” She nearly purred back to him. Van's teases made her laugh and Reven enjoyed the freedom she felt around him, like she could be her entire self without judgment. It meant a lot to her, to have someone like that.

But would he still continue to be open minded when he found out about her bloodline? He was an Ankal of the Denusk Pavilion, tasked with leading the family, making it strong, and rebuilding it to its former glory. Reven was far from glorious, her heritage made up of a sad tragedy proving her blood to be less than that of a commoner's. And yet, here she was, tied to a man the Kelvic considered shine as brightly as Syna's light. All her life, Reven felt compelled to prove herself to the world, to be better than what everyone assumed. How could she be better than blood? It was history. For some places, it was status. The cougar didn't know about the Drykas tradition and, if it did involve some kind of status among blood, Reven was royally screwed.

The thought of his denial sent a crack of panic through her, making the cat stop her venture of clothes, freezing into place. Reven hated the thought, loathed it, and she hated herself. For knowing she was worthless, for realizing she took advantage of Vanator's blind love and acceptance without telling him the truth about her heritage. Then, the illuminating glow of the cougar from her dreams flashed in her mind's eye, lunging at her with intent to kill.

As if a brilliant barrier sprung up to stop the cougar, Reven blinked when she felt soft lips press to hers in a gently kiss, sending the dark thoughts back to the shadows of her mind. The cougar felt his firm hand ease down the curve of her back, igniting desire that caused her to shiver. His touches relaxed her tense form, bringing her back to the world where life was better than good. It was great.

Reven didn't want him to move away and so, reached a thin hand out to grasp at his, however, he had already moved from her reached. Staying planted in her spot, the cat returned her arms back to her side. “Vanator.” Calling to him with a steady tone, Reven wouldn't be surprised if the firmness of his name startled him a bit. It startled her. If he would turn back to look at her, she would stare at him for several ticks, mixed emotions swirling around in her weary, hazel gaze. “I love you.”

Her jaw clenched and she swallowed, heart racing inside her chest before Reven allowed her eyes to move from his, the atmosphere somehow tense. What was she doing? What was she about to do? Why had she done that? She wasn't ready! Hands picked through the clothing she had yet the Kelvic spotted nothing to wear. “Lets go shopping today. It's getting warmer outside and I don't have anything for the summer season, other than rags.”

And there she was, bounced back to the playful cat he knew her as. “But this Ankal might enjoy that look too much.” Reven retorted with a chuckle, sliding on her cotton pants and leather vest, both fitted snugly around her form. Strapping her knife to her thigh, the Kelvic yanked on her boots before moving towards her mate. With her calloused hand on his cheek, Reven kissed him lightly, then proceeded out of the door Van held open for her.

They walked toward the kitchen, chatting throughout their journey even as they past many of the Sanctuary's staff. Still, the employees were taken back by the strong connection, and open display of affection, between the two. Reven was used to the looks now, she understood it took a while for people to realize they were a pair. Mainly women and because of this, the Kelvic had no problem showing that she was the dominant female by squaring her shoulders, standing up straighter, and looking so gracefully unnatural that any who dare ogle at her mate were forced to turn away from the hidden wrath of the cougar. She was territorial and possessive, her Kelvic instincts baring down on her strongly in the moments her claim on him was tested. He was hers.

Making it to the Kitchen, Reven fluttered over to the rare cut of meat waiting for her on a wooden cutting board. “Is this for me?” She almost sang to Cadra, who was working about the kitchen.

“At least let me cook it a little longer...” Cadra frowned.

Shaking her head, the cougar took the finely cooked meat from board with greed and ventured away from her mate to find proper eating utensils and a plate. Unlike her meal, Vanator's was already prepared with such things, waiting for him. How Cadra knew, the Kelvic wasn't sure, but she was pleased nonetheless and dug into her meal readily.

A few bells later, the felines plate was empty all of food, a satisfied smile set upon her lips. That had been a real treat. “Thank you, Cadra. Was that something I caught?”

“No, I actually picked it up from Kyloe's when I went to Riverfall the other day. I thought you might like it.”

“Mm, we'll have to stop by there sometime...” Reven stated.

“Oh, Reven! I forgot, something came for you.” Cadra vanished for a moment only to return with a giant wooden crate. Heaving it onto the table, Cadra released a breath of air. “Phew! It arrived a few days ago but it slipped my mind every time I saw you. Glad you came to breakfast today!”

Standing, She inspected the crate for anything suspicious. “Who's it from?”

The Kelvic cat shrugged, already cutting up vegetable for another meal. “I'm not sure... Sorry Reven.”

Cracking open the crate, Reven nearly slammed it shut after a chime, her eyes wide. Inside the create were journals. A number of them. Marked, dated, black, brown, paper thrown about the crate with the same handwriting inside the journal Reven had returned to Mutaldi. Atop all of the journals was a letter that the cougar knew all too well.

Mutaldi had sent her the crate...

Reven sucked in a breath. She had not spoken to her caretaker for nearly the entire season. Letters had come from Mutaldi, but Reven refused to read any of them and kept them tucked away, out of sight from Vanator. Now she had done it, sending her a crate full of her past. The feline wanted to burn it!

Hazel eyes wild, Reven glanced between Vanator and Cadra. “I...” Fumbling for an excuse at her sudden panic, she continued. “I don't know who this is from but please see to it that it gets removed...” Voice low, irritation suddenly found her. “No, no. I'll do it. Just.. I'm sorry. Excuse me.”

Hauling the crate from the table, she walked from the kitchen, leaving Vanator and Cadra enveloped in awkward silence. Strides long and quick, Reven was back within her mate's suite after a few chimes and quickly stashed the crate away, throwing her leather scraps, hides, and pelts over it to conceal it as much as possible. When she would return to Vanator, all would be fine... They would have their relaxing day in Riverfall and then, in the darkest part of the night, Reven would sneak out into the open grasses and set the crate on fire.

No one would ever know of her secrets...

Hand thrown into her messy mane, Reven groaned softly before departing from the suite. Vanator would want answers the Kelvic didn't have. She only hoped they could get past it and enjoy the day ahead of them.

[Vanator]

It had been well over half a season that Vanator had bonded, and fallen in love, with Reven. They spent a lot of time together, seemed they rarely grew weary of the other, their very awareness enhanced and seeming more alive the closer they stayed to one another. They did not remain attached at the hips though, for Vanator had his duties, and Reven had been given her own, and she had the freedom to do what she wanted. So Van cherished every moment with his bondmate, even as mundane as getting dressed for the day.

Of course, the Drykas' attention lingered on his lover's svelte body as she gathered her clothes. That is when he saw her pause, a darker look passing over her young features. It faded as he kissed her and touched her back, Van feeling some unease dissipating as his caress appealed to her more primal instints, but as he moved to his own clothes, Vanator heard the hint of strain when Reven uttered his name, enough that he stopped and turned to look at her. A moment lingered before Reven professed her love, as they often did, but this time, his bondmate's tone was much more sober. Van's features grew more concerned, the bond hinting at a deeper worry troubling his young bondmate. She turned hastily to her clothes, suddenly suggesting they go shopping for the day.

Vanator looked at Reven for a moment longer, until she made her sly comment, and it felt as if whatever had bothered his lover had been pushed into the dark where he could not see. Van would ask her about it, when the time was right. Instead, he donned a grin and suggested that skimpy leather outfits allowed the sea air to cool all the exposed skin. She knew he teased her, well, at least teasing about wearing such revealing garb in public. Bondmates tended to be a bit possessive, and as much as he would enjoy her dressing so in private, Reven knew her Vanator would not approve of others ogling her in such suggestive clothing.

With a sealing kiss, the dressed couple made their way to the kitchen, Reven's predatory posture ensuring all they passed that she was Vanator's one and only, and she intended it to stay that way. Vanator stifled a grin at Reven's display, the young cougar exercising her territorial instincts.

The morning meal was an open-ended affair at the Sanctuary, various duties requiring staff to start at different times, so Cadra and whomever was helping to prepare breakfast set out the food and everyone came and went as they needed. Only Cadra was in the kitchen, the bondmates passing most everyone else on the way out. They enjoyed their meal, Van's Kelvic daughter knowing well what a Kevlic feline liked, and made a special breakfast for Reven. Elise had been there earlier, Van could see, by the sliced pears on his plate, brushed with cinammon, a treat the young woman had learned Vanator was quite fond of. The kitchen remained rather quiet, aside from the casual conversation between Van, Reven and Cadra, until the laughing and screaming of children split the air. Lillian ran into the kitchen, Tasaval chugging behind her with his hands covered in some kind of muck, threatening to smear it all over the older girl's clothes. Caelum's daughter feigned terror, though she certainly did not want to get dirty. The kids ran around the table, and Vanator laughed, deciding since neither had a parent nearby, he would let them have their fun. Soon the chase lead out of the room and serenity returned.

Eating the last of a pasty and the pears, Van only looked askew at the crate Cadra produced for Reven, seeing her work to pry it open. But when a heavy disturbance shook the bond, Vanator drew his attention to the Kelvic cougar. A near panic took Reven, and she blathered mixed words, finally seizing the crate and hastily leaving the room. Vanator looked to Cadra, who shrugged, then scooted back his chair and hurried after Reven.

He headed for their suite, the bond giving a clue to her destination, but by the time he got there, Reven was exiting their room and closing the door. "Reven, what was that, what was in that crate? What is going on?" Van's voice was concerned and confused. He stepped forward, his awareness ringing with the girl's distress. His hand rested on her shoulder. "You are not telling me something, Reven, I can feel it." He knew for a while, just as she probably knew there were things within him that the bond could not shed light upon.

Vanator's hand slid down her arm to take her hand in his. "Do we want to keep secrets, do we want that kind of relationship? Reven, you are a part of me. Still I admit, there are still things you don't know yet about me. You will hear them, there is a right and wrong time to reveal things. But something is eating at you, and that box about set you over the edge. I think we need to talk about it, Please tell me what it is."

[Reven Heath]

Reven had just slipped out of her mate's suite and shut the door behind her when she came face to face with Vanator. The bond hinted at his presence as he stood just beyond the door yet his close proximity caught her off guard, gold flecked eyes pulling her in. Leaning back slightly, the Kelvic's back pressed into the wooden door, silently thankful for the support. Her legs were beginning to feel like deadweight. Van reached his hand out and pressed it too her shoulder, concern not only bubbling in his gaze but laced within his words as well. He was asking about the crate. He knew something dark was lurking.

Slowly, as if to ease the darkness from her, his hand slid down to hers, gripping it within his calloused digits as if to coax her further for information. The cougar loved him and took the comfort he gave with an open heart but even as she tried to muster up the courage of her past, a single thought smashed away any idea of uttering such things. Reven wasn't sure if she would lose him because of this. Vanator was everything to her. He was what she thought about on a daily basis, he made her heart swell and caused the pleasant smile on her face. He could spark within her a fire of passion and hold her so sweetly, the world seemed to fade away. Vanator protected her, cherished her, loved her.

The cougar couldn't risk giving that up. It would break her.

“I...” Came her whisper.

Silence fell between them, hazel eyes now torn away from her bondmate's to stare down the hall. He wanted answers and Reven couldn't lie to him. She wouldn't. Vanator was right, she didn't want secrets in their relationship and like Mos'Rila had chastised her about, secrets would ruin her... Ruin them... But would the journals ruin what they had? Either way, it was an unavoidable situation unless she kept the secrets.

Many ticks had past now before the Kelvic looked back to him. “I... Haven't spoke to Mutaldi, my caretaker, since before you returned from Endrykas...” She began reluctantly, her voice quiet. “I... found out... something she had done... and because of it, I couldn't remain in her company any longer.”

Looking away from him, Reven bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions from leaking into the bond but it seemed nearly impossible. She let out a sigh, pushing a shaky hand into her hair, loose strands cascading from the space within her fingers, brushing across her cheek. Reven didn't want to explain any further and the pressure was slowly building to give him the information. She wasn't ready... She couldn't do it...

“Van, I don't ever want to see a day without you in it.” Hazel eyes snapped to his, appearing shaken, nervous, “You're... everything to me and if you... if you weren't there...”

Tears beaded in her eyes but Reven didn't cry, she wouldn't. “I learned something from Mutaldi, Van. I knew of it before we bonded... Do you remember when I told you I didn't know my parents? Well she did... She knew of my mother and kept from me, who she was... Mutaldi lied to me. I hated her so much for it that I refused to talk to her again. I guess she sent me that crate to get my attention...”

The cougar was shaky now and turned to open the door to their room once more.

Run. It's what her instincts told her to do. Hide.

Reven ventured into the suite, letting her mate enter if he pleased and made sure to shut the door behind him if he did. She paced, looking around at the many things he had collecting through the winters. The stress of the crate full of her heritage, the words she was trying to work up, the fear of his judgment, the bond... All of this radiated from her in thick waves as the Kelvic fought to control herself. She felt like she had been driven into a corner Reven couldn't escape from. Pausing, with her back to him, Reven took a deep breath before slowly turning to face her lover. He must have been perplexed by her reaction, even shocked.

“Van,” Heavy feet took her to him, “I'm scared...”

Her hand reached out to lay against his torso, feeling his heart beat into her palm ever so lightly. “You're right, I don't want secrets between us but... I'm afraid of what will happen... What you'll think... of me.” Reven's hand slipped away. “Or if you'll still love me...”

Too much time had past, the tension was building, her depression was eating at her, and keeping such a thing from Vanator had been mentally exhausting. No matter what course of action she took, Reven could not prevent him from knowing of her family history and so, decided in that moment that it was time. Even if she wasn't ready, he would still figure it out.

Oddly enough, a smile cracked onto her lips yet the bond betrayed her expression, sadness and pain running like cold water through their connection. Its intensity broke her voice. “I found out my mother never loved me.” Taking shaky breaths, she pushed on, “I—I... found out that I'm a bastard child... to a slave. I come from... less than nothing.”

Turning hazel eyes to the floor, she hid her face away from him as she felt salty weakness bleed from her eyes. “I'm sorry for not telling you, Vanator... I was so happy when you came to see me... that I didn't think about it till the bond was... formed and it was too late...” Even as her hands fought against the tears, they would not stop. “Everyday... I've thought about this everyday and I never wanted you to find out..! But she sent that petching crate here and now.. Now you know.”

“You're my home, Van. You're what makes me happy and I didn't want to lose you because of this... That's... That's why I kept it from you—Ugh!” Turning her back from him, she walked away. The cougar was not known to cry and so, felt the swell of her heart push against her, sprouting new tears from her and with them, anger. Reven hated crying.

Trying to bite it back, she didn't return her eyes to him but kept to her spot, away from Van's eyes. “I understand if this changes things.” The Kevlic forced out. That moment, Reven clung tightly to the bond, taking in all that she could just in case he decided to end it. Her mentality, her entire being was held within his palms. The feline begged for mercy through the bond but ultimately, it was Vanator who decided her fate after that moment. Reven only hoped that the love she had for the man was strong enough to overcome this.

[Vanator]

Reven was distraught. Vanator's words only pushing at the uneasiness that had befallen his bondmate. He felt the cougar's apprehensions, she was terrified that the truth she withheld would push him away. Van felt her struggle, battle within herself against some hidden shame, the anger at her caretaker, the fear of losing him. Reven had fallen into a well of distress and was clawing, unable to climb out.

Vanator gave her small hand a reassuring squeeze. Finally, trembling lips began to explain. Mutaldi had betrayed Reven's trust. He knew how she cared for the woman who had been the only parent the Kelvic had known. Whatever it was, he understood the pain that the betrayal caused, he felt it keening through the bond. But that was not the extent of it. The truth Mutaldi had hidden from her was what truly frightened Reven, or more accurately, the revelation of the truth to her bondmate. She was terrified Vanator would reject her over the mystery.

Vanator's heart was breaking for his beloved bondmate. Reven quaked, her hands trembling, her big hazel eyes glistening with the threat of tears. The Drykas could not imagine anything that would compel him to leave her, to break their bond and cast her away. It quivered on the tip of her tongue, the truth Reven wanted so much to conceal, but was compelled to reveal. As if to flee from the moment, the Kelvic turned and slipped back into the suite. Vanator followed, shutting the door behind him.

The panic rang through the bond, she felt cornered, smothered by the revelation she knew she had to speak, but crumbling in fear of its consequences. As Reven stood, back to her lover, Vanator wanted to go to her, to throw his arms around her and tell her it would be alright. But a tone sounded through the bond, a resolve Reven and reached. She turned back to him.

The brief brush of her hand against his chest gave Vanator hope that Reven was rising from her despair. Vanator began to see it, this moment a culmination of the undertone of depression that his bondmate had concealed only partially over the season. Van looked down at Reven, the pain evident in her features, even as the humorless smile stretched across her pale lips. The clamor of her apprehension was nearly distracting as Reven surmounted her turmoil to utter the truth, her voice small and broken as she spoke. Then the cougar courageously revealed her secret.

Unloved, bastard, child of a slave. This were the shame his lover bore deep in her soul, the unfair truths that she allowed to dictate her worth. Reven was reduced to tears, averting her gaze and weeping into her hands, spilling her apology and guilt at her bondmate's feet. Her words failed her, and the young woman turned from Vanator, as if to isolate herself, and her shame, from him.

Vanator's heart reeled. Not from the revelation, but from the broken soul of his lover. She now consoled herself in a wash of tears, Van feeling her abject sorrow and the self-loathing for turning to the weakness of tears. He would have her despair no more.

"Reven..." His soft voice called, taking the few steps to close their distance. A hand laid on her shuddering shoulder as Vanator moved around to face the Kelvic. A finger laid gently under the girl's chin, tenderly coaxing Reven to lift her head, warm brown eyes welcoming her. His hand lifted to Reven's face, thumbs softly brushing away the tears from the crests of her cheeks, then Vanator cradled her face in the palms of his hands.

"Your worth is not measured by who your mother, or your father, were. Larik and Cadra's mother was not my wife. My father rejected them as bastards, refusing to allow Larik to be my heir. When Kavala found them, they were slaves. But I love them as dearly as a father can, because they belong to me, and they are amazing kids." Vanator smiled, overwhelmed at the moment by his love for the Kelvic girl.

"The bond didn't care that I was an Ankal's son and you were the daughter of a slave. The bond saw us as two souls fit to be bound together. And Reven, I fell in love with you for who you are. I don't care where you came from, or what your parents did or didn't do. I love you for the things you do. I love you because you are a beautiful, vibrant, loving, passionate woman that captured my heart completely."

Van leaned in to press a kiss to Reven's lips, tasting the salt of the tears that had trickled over them. "That day that we bonded, I told you I would never leave you, and I meant it. that day, we started new lives, together." The Drykas' allowed his hands to slip from the curves of Reven's features to hold her hands. Her secret made no difference to him, other than urging him to love her more, to show her that she is worthy of devotion and affection.

"I know you are angry at Multadi, but maybe she didn't tell you because she didn't think you were ready, it is a hard thing to hear." He turned to look at the crate, thinly disguised under the pile of furs.

[Reven Heath]

Reven couldn't remember that last night she cried so furiously. It had been when she spoke to Mutaldi but other than that, she couldn't recall. The Kelvic had endured much discrimination growing up as a Kelvic. Most didn't understand what she was, the humans anyway, and when she sailed to the magnificent city of Riverfall, she was treated more like a pet than an actual person. It was the main reason she disliked the Akalaks. Their views upon her frustrated her, knowing that, to them, her only worth was one for birthing children. The Kelvic refused such a task.

She could never mate with an Akalak who would only use her in that way.

Young and ignorant of the world around her, Reven sought the company of isolation when times came that she was hurt by the truth that she really had no friends. Maybe it was because of her adolescence, the way her mind worked and hormones raged, or maybe it was her awkward personality that was unappealing. That changed, however, when she finally hit maturity. When Mutaldi pushed her out to live her own life, to make her own way, it force Reven to invest in networking, to connect with society, and to make friends. Not until finding Van and bonding with him did the cougar realize how much she appreciated friendship. Even with Kavala, Reven looked upon her as a sister, in a way. Both the Denusk siblings affected her in a way she could not express but she was so very thankful for them.

It was why telling Vanator was so hard for the feline. Not only because he was her bondmate, because she had kept from him the truth, or because she was afraid status mattered to him. It was because the individual before her was her first love and best friend. Reven was attached to Vanator when he was around her and constantly thought of him when he would leave. The Kelvic couldn't fathom a day without him and she wondered if he felt the same.

His voice coaxed her, firm hand grasping her shoulder as she attempted to suck in a breath, to prepare herself for his judgment. But when she glided her watery, hazel gaze up to his brown eyes, his finger tucked under her chin before lifting his hand to wipe away her tears, Reven found nothing but love from him. Van was gentle with her and took her puff face within his palms, her attention focused completely on him.

Acceptance laced within his words as her bondmate spoke to her, comforted her. Vanator was right, the bond didn't form because of status or blood. Then, he professed to his love for her, her humanity, her nature, and everything that encompassed who she was. Her own hands lifted to lay over his, gripping them as she nodded, understanding his affection. “Van, I'm sorry I kept this from you,” Voice shaky, Reven felt the darkness inside her slowly begin to dissipate, “I've been hoping, praying, that maybe I was more than what people thought. That I wasn't just a pet, or an animal to isolate. I wanted to know about my parents because I had faith that I was something more than what people took me for. That I had a name to be proud of, that meant something.” Her eyes turned away. “It was a foolish hope but, heh... Can't blame a girl from dreaming.”

Another tear fell. “I love you, Vanator. More than you realize... You're so gifted, anyone would be able to tell that from simple conversation, and it makes me wonder about the bond and why we're connected. About how we came to be where we are right now...” Her hand returned to his torso, palm over his heart, each pulse beating comforting into her. “But most off all, I wonder, how can I compare to this man? How can I make him proud?”

Hazel orbs fixed on his gaze, peering into his very soul as she reached for the bond, wrapping herself within it, letting him in completely, open to his affection as his love for her healed the damage done by the truth of her heritage. “I stand beside you and love you as any being could love another, but I also want my sweet Ankal to be proud of his bondmate... I didn't think you would be once you knew.”

His lips drew her in and for a moment, they lingered, the kiss comforting and soft. Even after he pulled away from her, the Kelvic leaned into him, letting his hands grasp at hers, Vanator's words echoing with warmth inside her. It made her smile, a real smile, though small and hardly noticeable. Then he questioned Mutaldi's reasons behind keeping the information from her. Reven shook her head, the anger from the woman's betrayal still fresh in her heart.

“She lied to me, Van... She told me they were traders and then, when I confronted her, she said she was going to wait till I had a family before telling me this. Is that really fair?” The cougar frowned, looking away. Reven didn't know what else to say, she was firmly against the idea of speaking to the woman again. Mutaldi had lied to her nearly her entire life...

Noticing his subtle curiosity, Reven followed his eyes to the crate, staring for a tick. What secrets remained hidden in that crate? Truthfully, the cougar was afraid to find out. She wasn't sure if she was ready.

“If you want to, we can look together...” Nodding, her hands squeezed his, ”Maybe it would be better that way.”

[Vanator]

"Be careful that you do not set me on too high a pedestal. I am just a man, flawed in ways you don't yet know. " There were things Reven should know, but in truth, Van was also ashamed of his hidden truths, worried how his young love would react if they were to be revealed. She had been brave enough to finally put hers to words.

Vanator knew the time was close that he do the same. He quickly focused again on Reven. For now, his bondmate needed to know how much she meant, how he didn't care about anything but having her, loving her. "And I am terribly proud of you Reven, not because of where you came from, but because you have come so far, in so little time, in spite of where you came from. No man is more proud to have a woman on his arm than I am to have you, Reven. We will have our troubles, I would be worried if we didn't, but I know we will endure, and come out stronger. Love, after all, is an act of will. And I will not stop loving you."

The conversation turned again to the matter of the caretaker, and Reven's heartbreak from the betrayal. "No, it doesn't seem fair." Vanator would not deny the Kelvic her feelings, she had been deeply hurt by Mutaldi and words of reason would not sooth Reven's wounded heart. Van only wanted to help his bondmate through the trial. "Yes, dear, I will go through the box with you. I can tell you from experience, the best way to get past a hard part of life is to face it, work past it. Then you can put it behind you. We can do it together." Vanator turned from the box to face Reven again. "But not right now, not when the hurt is so fresh. I think maybe a walk would be a better idea. Fresh air and open sky will help you to feel better."

There were chores to be done, but they could wait. Consoling Reven was more important at the moment, and there was more Vanator wanted to say. The girl had been honest with him, in spite of her fears. It was not right that Vanator should hold onto the things he had feared to reveal. Leading Reven by the hand, the couple made their way through the Within to the sea caves and out onto the beach. The rising sun was still concealed behind the great cliff above them, casting a shadow on the beach, but reflecting brilliantly off the rolling surf coming in. The breeze was warm, carrying the promise of Summer not more than a couple tendays away.

Van turned and they began to walk north along the stretch of sand. "Reven, thank you for being honest with me. I know it was hard, and I admire your courage. I..." He paused, looking out over the Suvan, the salty wind tugging at their hair, "...I have some things I need to tell you as well. And honesty, I am equally afraid to speak them."

[Reven Heath]

He was right, Reven placed him on a very high pedestal as the season went on. She had no reason not to, Vanator had done everything in his power to care for her, love her, and protect her. As the days past, Reven noticed less of his flaws and more reasons as to why she was so utterly fascinated with him. The Kelvic was attracted to the Drykas, loved him unconditionally, claimed, and swore to protect him. Instinct fueled the flames she felt for him but the his denial and rejection was something she feared. Vanator was important to her, but he did not realize how easily she could be broke due to the bond.

Reven didn't want to risk rejection. The bond ran deep, both individuals could feel it, but Van had the freedom to think clearly while away from her. He could go about his chores peacefully, be away from her and not quiver with overwhelming worry or anticipation to see her. He was blessed with freedom when it came to the bond. Reven, on the other hand, constantly thought of him throughout the day. She would force herself the depart his presence so she could go about her own work but even then, her mind called for him. Her anxiety would reach new heights sometimes until she would return to him and all would be calm once more.

Vanator affected her, the bond affected her, and without either of them, she'd fall apart.

And again, he was right. Their relationship was so fresh and new, Reven didn't fully know Vanator, what his flaws were or what evils he was capable of. He knew of hers, knew that she could kill, but what of his?

His heartfelt words brought a smile to her lips, complimenting her, pouring his heart out so that she could bath in its warmth. Reven reached for him in the brief moment of silence and tucked herself into him, resting her head on his shoulder as she held him. Then he brought up Mutaldi and the journals and, with an open mind, she listened. Rising from his shoulder, hazel eyes turned on gold-flecked brown as her mate expressed the desire for fresh air.

Reven laughed and pushed a hand into her hair, her complexion still puff and tear stained, “I think that sounds like a great idea.” She responded, wiping her cheeks.

Truth be told, the cougar wasn't ready to go through the box. It hurt her to look still, to look upon her past and witnessed as a woman slowly crumpled away. Her bondmate reached for her hand, leading her from the tense atmosphere within their room out to the beach. The pull of the wind whipped her hair around gently, as if light, feathery fingers were purposely trying to knot up her brown mane. The air was comfortable, if not a bit warm as Syna's light reflected off of the surf ahead. It was turning into a beautiful day yet the topic of discussion they clung to seemed to put a damper on such beauty.

As Vanator spoke, the Kelvic's brow furrowed, “Van,” Voice gentle, she shook her head, “I don't want secrets in our relationship but I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me...”

Sighing, she stepped in front of him and stopped, causing him to look at her. “You,” She said, brushing a lock of hair from his face, “Have as much courage as I do, maybe even more.” Pausing, Reven caressed her fingers against his cheek.

“But are you sure you're ready to tell me these things, Drykas?..”

The only sound made were of the waves crashing into the shore as she peered at her love.

“I love you, Vanator. As dark as the secrets you keep may be, I have faith in you that they are in your past and they'll remain there. You don't have to be afraid of me, or afraid to tell me anything. As long as I have you as the man you are today, that's all that matters... As you said, loving someone is an act of will and I too, will not stop loving you... Even if in the future, somehow, it hurts to do so.”

Her digits slid over his cheekbone and down his jawline before falling away. Reven would listen to him, if he was ready to confess, but the Kelvic would never push her love for his secrets. He could trust her, no matter what and that was something he needed to know. Vanator was hers to take care of, to love, comfort, care for, and trust and the cougar was his to do the same.