Closed You awake?

[Fallon]

45th Spring 514AV

Fallon awoke with a start. Her entire form flinched awake, her mind quickly replaying that sensation of falling, her eyes large and turning in the tent. For a moment she was disorientated, her hand splayed upon the surface beneath her, the cool chill brushing against her shoulders. To her right there was warmth, and somewhere else the low whistle of a snoring creature escaped. Her arm pushed her up, the blanket slipping from her form as she turned, her lungs sucking in the air to force in a state of calm. There was nothing wrong, nothing to worry about. It was all just a dream.

The world was still in muted hues when Fallon came to, the sun having yet risen to send it into a stream of colours. Her eyes blinked out into the tones, the faint light catching the edges and revealing only a slither of the world. The sleeping mat was beneath her, further spread of blankets and clean coats enlargement its surface. Her fingers knotted into the felt cloak, her gaze drifting along the slither of a glow and downwards. Across her the blankets had been thrown, one of her feet sticking out of the end into the open air. There was an inhale, her arms trembling as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

Beneath the clean loose vest and trousers, she felt the stitching holding the cuts together and the protective layer of bandaging. Everything else had been discarded, scrubbed and rinsed free of the worst of the blood where possible before being hung up to dry to one side. Even now Fallon could see the unnerving shapes of her tattered shirt within the light, her armour left where it fell. Looking down she pulled the black cloak across once more - sheltering the bodies from the slight chill that hung in the air.

Eyes blinked, her gaze falling down to the still body next to her. For a moment she took it into her gaze, her hand hesitantly reaching out to touch and then pulling away once more. She pulled the blanket up across the woman once more, then returned her attention to the gloom. On the left side of the mercenary, lay her kukri - sheathed but still very much present - and with his head poking out of the entrance Orvin snoozed, fast asleep with his tail flicking on occasion. Everything else was calm.

Fingers rubbed against her brow, her lip twitching as she remembered the previous night. It had happened, it all had happened. The planning, the screaming, the releasing of the beast. Pain, emotions, that scream and that bonding. Her fingers knotted onto the blanket for a moment, her toes wriggling before once more she returned it to the warmth. That kiss, that taste, that consuming passion that took over the senses. That fight, the blood, the screaming. For a moment her heart gave a twist, heavy with the memories but it quickly lifted. It was over, it was done now, and in the process Zandelia had learned that murder in cold blood was not always the answer - even if it did leave the pair of them with aches and sores. One could not learn without mercy after all.

It did not mean that she was not worried about the situation. Sparing someone was always a risky task, it gave the opportunity of retaliation, to strike back and get revenge - and thus the vicious circle would continue. Her fingers twiddled her necklace, her brow carefully pinching with thought. Of course, there was other issues to contend with also forming. Zandelia had seen her use magic, and a large display of it too. And whilst she had yet to press for answers, even Fallon knew it was only a matter of time. She chewed her lip, her head shaking away the tired feeling and the nagging of dulled aches.

No, they were safe now. No one would chase them here. They had left their mark, they had left their sign, and with it the ensured their safety - for now at least. Or that was what Fallon kept telling herself. It was only a matter of time. Summoning in her djed she gave a blink, the icy cold feeling creeping its way around into her skull, a low mumble upon her lips, "Let me see."

Her brow creased, her teeth gritted as she focused herself, a long inhale as it traced itself along her iris and into the pupil. For a moment the world shuddered, dipping into darkness and twisting shades of blue. Jumbling, unsettled, confused as it tried to find a steady level in the strange filter. Blinking she felt it ripple, her djed focusing as she took it in. The burning red was what snapped her attention first, the strange colour standing out in the darkness that smothered her weapons and armour. Her lids pinched, a gentle slide across as she tried to not look too hard at things. Orvin's aura blared bright blue within the darkness, snug to his shape and unchanging.

With a slow blink she pulled her gaze down and away, a gentle crack open as she looked down upon the woman next to her. Colours shuddered and juddered, darkening and twisting as she simply looked. A twinge, a purse of lips as a different colour showed itself. Shades of green turned before it settled on an emerald, swirling and aura. For a moment she simply looked - taking the aura in, her lips curling into a small smile. She was resting, tired and exhausted; it would be cruel to awaken her. Besides, it was of more interest to ponder upon the colours. Wiping a hand over her eyes she exhaled, halting the flow of djed and letting the sensation be replaced with warmth, "Enough is seen."

Eyes watered, stinging slightly as she pulled the hand away, before she sighed. Sleeping was definitely beyond her it seemed.

[Zandelia]

Footsteps, footsteps in the darkness. They drummed a harsh rhythm, steady but firm upon what sounded like wood. The creaking of shifted weight. Rolling, stamping, shuffling, dragging. The noise began low and slowly began to rise until it drowned out everything. As she lay helpless upon the floor, shadows swirling around her, they pierced her skull until it felt like it was cracking. Deafened and unable to move there was only the inevitability of closing forms that crept around her. Circling. Edging closer with every struggling breath.

Chest rose and fell as they ebbed around her, flowing all too gracefully as the high-pitched chittering began. Monsters. Hyper-ventilation grasped her, tossing her within its grip like a child’s doll as panic rose and she tried to will herself into motion. She failed. Closer…ever closer. They came. A wall now barely a foot from her and she couldn’t see their faces of their shapes. Only felt the presence. One stepped forwards and her face coalesced form the darkness.

Fingers tore at the flesh until the black hair, recognizable, began to poke through. Skin acted like paper as it fluttered down around her and her father was now crouched over her – dagger poised malevolently. She looked up, watching the point as it teasingly paused. Plunged. Stabbed into her heart with deadly accuracy. She juddered as the breath was driven from her, lancing pain. The darkness faded.

Her eye flared open, her body convulsed as it reacted to the nightmare as if it were real. Sharp breath inhaled as her right hand slapped across her sternum and found nothing – no fresh blood or gaping wound. Consciousness seeped in and tried to reassert reality and she let out a shuddering breath before the throbbing, pulsing tendrils of dulled pain made itself known. She blinked, staying in the prone position for a few moments as she tried to gain control, to make sure everything was fine. Her face had been his! She was unnerved as she rolled onto her back, pressing her eyelid shut tightly with a groan as her body complained to her – tallying up its grievances. Slowly she checked her wounds, making sure the hasty stitching hadn’t been undone, that bandages weren’t soaked with fresh crimson.

“Oooh…gods. We did it didn’t we? And I let him go” she breathed softly into nothingness. Memory was fogged, where was she?

They had limped, staggered and even crawled their way back into the Tent City. There had been pain, the speed of their journey as quick as they could make it as they raced their bodies in an attempt to stop the loss of blood and strength. They had…arrived and then…the tent. Which tent? Lantern light, there had been lantern light. Then more pain and the licking of wounds. The sorting of bedding, the shaky retrieving of as much comfort as could be eked out in their lethargy. Orivn…there had been Orvin too. Worried and whining at their appearance. Fallon’s tent, it was Fallon’s tent. She raised her head and sought out the other woman quickly, making sure she was safe as the events ripped back into her mind and the skirmish flared piece-meal into her mind’s eye.

“Fallon! Fall-“ she found her, fear subsiding slightly as she reached out sideways and her hand felt its ways underneath the ad-hoc coverings and draped over the slight torso sluggishly, “good…you aren’t a dream” she shuddered, flesh pulling at flesh again as she stilled with a grimace as she found her limits.

Moving was too difficult now, recently awakened. She wanted to roll over and pull the other woman closer but doing so would have been too painful to endure. She settled for what reassuring contact as was possible. She sighed as she noticed that she was the one with the blanket, the purchased cloak covering Fallon was thinner. Always the shield she noted, even when it came to sharing a night’s sleep. Her right arm pulled at wool and she gave half to the one whom had risked all. It was the least that she could do. Head twisted uncomfortably to look at her companion. Was she a companion? Was that the right word? She pursed her lips her lips and threw that thought aside for future consideration – now was not the time.

It really did happen didn’t it? We won. We fought. She duelled! Gambled. Hurt. And I let him go…gods help me I did. Will I pay for that? Will she? No…he knows he is weaker. He won’t attack. At the very least until his wounds are licked. A grace period, perhaps. I tried hatred and it didn’t work. Perhaps trying mercy won’t present such a terrible debt… she mused as her energies pooled and she tried to begin raising them.

“Awake? You should be sleeping. I thought you didn’t need a lecture upon looking after yourself?” she attempted a chuckle and it turned into a hiss as ribs complained abominably.

“I don’t know about you wolf but I think we should stay in today. The world can wait until it stops being so painful” she sighed as she rested the crook of her elbow across her eye sockets gently.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly, fearing the answer and seeking a distraction as her arm slipped sideways and slapped across the floor, her gaze took in Orvin, “look at him. Like a babe. Lucky hound” she noted.

[Fallon]

When Zandelia began to make noise, it was her gaze that snapped round once more. For a moment she paused, startled almost by the sudden mumblings making her lean in. Shuffling closer, her hand reached out, her eyes adjusting in the light. Was she caught within a bad dream, a nightmare that plagued upon her mind? Shuffling round so she faced the woman properly, her hand reaching out to touch the searching hand. Fingers curled around the others, her hand gently reaching forth to caress the trembling cheek. Or at least until the tip came round and pressed against her lips.

"Hush... Hush..." she smoothed down the woman's hair, and remained sitting up - if anything because it was less painful than lying upon her back, "It's okay Zandelia... It's okay. I'm right here. I'm not a dream. And I'm not going anywhere. Promise." She doubted the woman could see the reassuring smile in the dark, but it was hard not to anyway. Sucking in the air she continued to hold the worried hand in hers. A gentle squeeze, a long inhale as the shuffling once more begun. Bringing herself closer, gently shuffling to be in contact, for warmth and to show care she ensured both the blanket and cloak was spread across both. A flail of fabric, the gradual lean down onto her side as she wrapped the cocoon around them. Of course Fallon was worried, the woman was obviously not as good as taking damage as her - least that was the impression she received. Another squeeze of fingers, a gentle searching for an answer within the dark.

"Yes. I'm awake, and so are you," Fallon whispered, "And I know I should be sleeping, it's just... a bit hard right now." A suck in of air, her gaze lifting and pulling away out into the gloom. She frowned slightly, her eyes lifting to survey the tent, and then down to the kukri at the bedding side. Fingers gave a testing reach, the palm easily touching the hilt. She was well within reach of grabbing it just in case, "The mind it's swimming with a lot of things at present."

Of the father, of the mercy, of them and what their relationship was. It was left largely silent and whilst Zandelia knew exactly what Fallon felt it still had yet to be defined. A factor that left Fallon apprehensive at best. What if it was to be rebuked, to be left discarded and forgotten? She pushed down the lump that formed in her throat at that point, and instead reminded herself of her chosen duty, "You can lecture me if you want. I may have to lecture you back however, seeing as you are a prime example of looking after oneself."

A pause, her gaze slowly turning back down to Zandelia. The woman had cried out for Fallon; panicked, frightened, searching for that reassurance in the dark. Her brow creased together, the muscles twitching as she tried to work out what to exactly do, "Wolf? That is a first. Where did that one come from? Yes... we can hide away for today. As promised. Just you and me." Like so many other things she had promised and given the previous night. Resting upon her elbow, her chin cupped within her hand she continued her focusing, "And I shall wrap you up and keep you at peace today. It's all I can do it seems."

"He sleeps through the oddest of things," she hummed, brow lifting for a moment. Whatever happened to those simpler days? Of travel, of bondless, of running away and being a coward? Well she had finally left them behind and grown - or at least that was how it presently looked. Her hand gingerly reached forward, a tender touch of fingers upon the woman's abdomen. From there she gently stroked against it, her eyes searching for an answer, "At least now he no longer lazy." The creature released a loud snore in his sleep, and did not stir. For a while she watched the sleeping creature; so long gone he was, without a care in the world to what was going on around him - much like when she first met him.

"You're not alright, are you?" Fallon finally spoke. There was a long inhale, the free arm reaching round to lightly hug the woman. She dared not press or try to move her - even her awakening mind knew that was a bad idea to do with their conditions, "Talk to me. Please. I... I will be here, and I will listen and hold you... okay?" Her throat constricted for a moment, a flutter of nerves from within, "You... you want me to light up the lantern?"

What else could she do? Was her logic, she needed to be a rock now, so she was sure as well going to try to be one.

[Zandelia]

She blinked as the covers were rearranged, senses finally juddering to life beyond the numbing aches and the tendrils of fearful confusion. Sight was difficult at the best of times but the gloom in her wavering state proved to be too much to properly penetrate. It was for the best, she let it continue without complaint. She wasn’t sure she was ready to take in the damage done to both herself and Fallon. It could wait a few more chimes at the very least. Coarse fabric rubbed over exposed skin, tickling slightly as she snagged upon the idea that she only wore the trousers of the night before - bandages lacing her torso the only protection from the night's cold. In bed half-clothed with the other woman. The first moment such an endeavour had been realized and she wasn’t even capable of truly using it. Then she frowned and realised that the flashing thought rang hollow now, the other woman wasn’t some lusher to be bought. She grumbled as she shifted her arm, shoulder tightening as skin pulled. She winced and her arm underneath the other’s shoulder and pulled herself closer as her hand wrapped around the waist gently.

Fingers traced the back, pausing for a few moments as they passed the ridges of the old scarring there. That intricate pattern of pain. She hadn’t had the courage to ask where they had come from and didn’t truly think she would get a straight answer even if she did ask. Some things were still unknown, it was probably what drew them together she had reasoned. Each held some things back and didn’t give everything away. Thought, emotions – these were expressed. The past and who they both truly were though, these were yet to be fully determined. It was an odd impasse, to know that you knew so little about someone and yet be where they were now. She focused upon the questions, questions she could answer. Her brow furrowed.

“It’s what you called yourself. Wolf. My wolf. Fighting, for me,” she sighed, not sure she deserved it at all but accepted it just as she accepted the woman, “I’m sorry. I should have listened. I just…I…I’m sorry” she finished, there weren’t words that could adequately describe the way she felt.

She could have said the words for the rest of her life and she wasn’t sure they would still be enough. The memories would stay imprinted forever, the sword strokes that almost ended a life for her stupidity. She wrestled with herself internally, fighting vainly to stop the recollection but finding it almost impossible. She shifted her body to be closer still and found some solace in the warmth of the brushing. They were safe here, Fallon was safe. She had noted the touching of the weapon, smiled up at the woman as best she could and shook her head slightly – today wasn’t supposed to be about the fighting. The battles could stay outside the cocoon they had created for themselves. They could wait. But the questions continued and brought them back for a while yet.

“You deserve something more personal than m’dear anyway, Sunshine demands it. So…Wolf. For now. Maybe change it when another name fits better. Leave the lantern. We’ll light it later. Wrap me up? I’m not a present. Not really. More a disaster apparently,” she scoffed at herself darkly, “no. Just…stay here”

She didn’t meet Fallon’s eyes, the tone used had been earnest when asking about her state of being. It was something that she couldn’t refuse, not anymore, but there was a flickering of hesitation. She didn’t know how much to say, how to say it or even if it were wise to do so. She had never been wise but she was astute enough to know that not everything should be stated. Some things were too shadowed, too much of a fickle flickering to really put into words. Truth was a double-edged sword at the best of times and the words Fallon had said before rising to challenge her father proved that and still weighed heavily. Her gaze became distant, blurring as it stayed fixed upon the canvas above.

“No, I am not. But I am too. I have learned…something. I thought that I was immortal, I think. Too long being untouchable and I grew…complacent. I thought that I could do anything and that it would always be okay. Things would turn out for the best in the end. I was willing to risk…anything. Anyone. I am a monster Fallon, more like my father than anything else. I let you fight him alone for gods sa…” the bitter, distant words caught in her throat and she couldn’t continue, merely turning her head away. She loathed the way she had gone about her goals. Complete reversal due to one thing.

“It was a game, a chess set in my mind. Push a piece there, exchange one for something worth more here. Calculation laced with poison. It finally bit me back I guess. I risked what wasn’t mine and what I couldn’t afford to lose. I didn’t know until it was almost too late and then…” she sighed, it was useless to ramble on further. The point was made and it was damning to her.

“Do you know what I saw when I had that blade there, ready to kill? I saw the futures…all of them that I could think of. I can’t remember all of it but I saw that if I followed through then nothing would be the same again. I grew a damned conscience! Me, a secret sniffer. Why? So I could play the game again and lose more? You said you were proud but I don’t think you will say that when the next fight begins Wolf. I’ll lose my reputation at this rate” she snorted at her own foolishness.

Sentiment, that most dangerous of things. He knows now where to kick me when I’m down. He heard the words, saw the stolen glances. Even if he runs there will be others. They will know, be told. And then who gets hurt? She does she grimaced at that as she leant her head against Fallon’s chest.

“Don’t listen to me, let me ruin the day. I will be fine. Promise. Tell me I’m foolish, it’s usually true. Let’s talk about something else. Why can’t you sleep? It wasn’t my snoring was it? And, by the way, how did you know that I would understand the magic signals? Do you know what I’m thinking too?”

If so then know that I would do anything to take back last night. The bits of it that weren’t important. The death and the blood. Not important. Not anymore. This is what’s important. Strange how a new future for Sunberth can bring new futures for more than just brick she breathed deeply and pulled the blanket closer, folding it to keep in the warmth.

“Yes I know it was magic, I think I saw it before from Gad actually. So don’t be all surprised. Come on then, I’ve talked. You talk, if you want. I can’t be bothered with games today but if you won’t tell me then you’ll have to make me guess and that would be a long, long list. I’ll do it. Can we skip the games and just get to the telling? I’ll get it out of you eventually you know. At least I can still stick my nose in amongst the best of them” she smiled weakly at that.

She didn’t move, she dared not do so. Time would come for movement soon enough, the lantern would be lit and bodies would complain further until they settled once more but, for now, the warmth and the closeness called. She suspected that there would be little enough of it in the near future. Not if her fears played out as they did inside her mind.

[Fallon]

"Then I will be your Wolf, Sunshine" she smiled and allowed the woman, to press up against her. And that was what Fallon did, she simply held the woman, arms wrapping round and warming the trembling bones against the chill. A tying up of limbs, the twiddling of hair as the woman. There was inhale, her jaw resting upon the top of the head and a low hum escaping. Fallon shuddered when the finger tips scratched those scars and the lingering memory began to raise. With a gentle pull of the hand she lowered it to the base of her spine and promptly released it. Gently she breathed, "Do not linger your hand there please." Reeling the woman in, she brought the blankets in closer and cocooned them in from the world. Body against body, heat against heat, "Yes, I will wrap you up completely and utterly. And maybe, I will unwrap you. Either way, to me you are a lovely gift within my life."

For a moment there was silence, the gentle rise and fall of breaths, the gentle shifting of weight as legs began to tangle in with each other. Fallon cleared her throat, her gaze thoughtful as she considered her words. She had heard such a thing before a year ago, that lingering moment of doubt, that level of worry snagging upon the mind. Of being a monster, or being a cruel creature. And it was with such admittance that Fallon repeated those words - if not slightly adjusted to match the situation; "I would rather be a monster who tried to do the right thing for the people, for those that I need to protect and keep safe, than alone and bitter upon the regrets caused by promises I could not fulfil."

Unwavering, clean cut, filled with a tone of certainty. She looked ahead, her lids pinching slightly as she chose her words carefully, "And it was in you that I put my trust, and vice versa. In our abilities, our ways, and with that we managed to sail into the storm even with the odds against us. We tried, and we succeeded. We went against our nightmares and fought back against them. Through that well..." her hand gave a squeeze of the fingers, "You get the idea." Nuzzling her head against the woman, she used her body as a cocoon, the low hum escaping. Touching, feeling, caressing the form beneath the blanket. There may have not been much between them physically, but even emotionally Fallon could feel the steady rise of self pity consuming the scene. For the moment she was silent, her throat growing tense.

It was hard to speak, to bring some level of clarity to the situation. Zandelia had grown, she had come into her own and saw the other options. No longer narrow minded, even she was beginning to look at the effects outside of her own world. A daunting experience, one that left many feeling apprehensive at the best of times. Even Fallon could understand that - so it was up to her to lead the woman through the lingering darkness and out the otherside.

"I was proud of you because you learned of mercy. Of redemption without cold blooded murder. You found a glimmer within all of the darkness and clung to it even when you screamed for blood," Fallon inhaled, "You managed to do that, to rise up above what corruption would have consumed and destroyed you in time, that filth and suffocation, selfish desire, and find another answer to the problem... it is... very Yahal." She paused and turned her gaze down to the woman, her eyes warm and glinting in the low light. Her thumb caressed her cheek, and her words breathed into her ear, "And sometimes... we just have to take that blind leap, that test of faith not for the gods or others, but for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with that."

Her brow creased, "You are foolish for believing you are foolish. But enough of that. I just cannot sleep, snoring aside," she began to tease, "I just... have a few things on my mind. I mean yesterday, what happened, what will happen in the future and..." she paused at that point, a blush as her eyes turned away, "Well, us." Her shoulders slumped slightly as she admitted to herself also. It was still a confusing situation to say the least, the emotions fresh and turning within. Her pulse however quickened when the mention of magic came into play. Of course, the woman would know now - the display of the evening no doubt confirmed that.

Swallowing she shuffled awkwardly and refused to meet the gaze of the woman, "I guess the cat is out of the bag on that one then. Just... don't share i- Wait, you think Gad is a projectionist?" That grabbed her attention. For a moment she simply stared, surprised almost that another potentially practiced the same art as her. It also proved to be slightly unnerving - how good was he? What was he capable of? Better yet, where was his initiator? Chewing upon her lip she returned to what was at hand, "Fine, no question games today. Maybe other ones though..."

Talking about magic was a hard one for Fallon, most people feared it and for good reason. They would turn on mages, and in a place like Sunberth it was a dangerous profession to fall into. It was why she tried her best to keep it under wraps, practicing little and using it only when there was no other choice. For a while she simply laid next to the woman, her expression twisting as she tried to find a way to answer.

"Yes, I'm a mage," she exhaled finally, "I've been a mage since I was a child. The school you laid witness to was projection, it's hard to get into and you can't learn it from a book. Plus having someone to initiate you can be... dangerous. I... wasn't sure how else to let you know signal wise. It seemed like the best way without raising suspicion. Plus you're quite quick at picking up things if you take in your surroundings. So, I had to take the leap I guess. Does that... answer your question?" There was a long inhale, a moment of uneasiness consuming her before she quietly asked, "Are you... what do you think of mages? Please I... would like to know."

[Zandelia]

The resting of the jaw upon her head, the tangling of limbs and the pressing closer of their bodies. It was enjoyable, the simple sharing of heat amidst intimacy. Yet it was more than that also, growing more complex as events unfolded. Who could have predicted what had happened? She certainly had never seen it coming. Even through her own conflicted internal battles she could see quite clearly that whatever it was that was forming between them the other was finding difficult to understand – to process. What a duo they made, intending to face the world and not even possessed of the courage to face themselves until forced to do so. Dreams were so difficult, ideals too nebulous. Words were spoken, seeping past her tired and battered defences. She merely breathed, listened, felt them out as she felt out the woman who spoke them.

They gave some comfort to her, stated with a pulsing undertone of blunt belief. It wasn’t a judgement as much as were a series of statements. There was found an island of logic, of sense, within them but they were lapped at by a sea comprised of years of a life without such concepts. Only time would tell if they would remain within or peter out as had so many other ideals and beliefs. She was too old for change perhaps but then again she changed already. The squeeze of fingers, attempting reassurance that they knew was needed. This wasn’t a problem that would resolve itself quickly, deep down she knew that. But it was calming to know she wouldn’t have to do it alone.

Thing shift, change. A lesson. I must learn. Games are fine but not the same games. I must do better, improve. I had always assumed caring was a weakness…perhaps it doesn’t have to be…mercy… the thought echoed within and she smiled, a tight smile.

“Well, then this monster will see if it can live up to the words. The promises. For one person, at least. Perhaps more in time. Small steps and recovery first I think,” she responded softly, there was a depth to the words she didn’t fully understand but was beginning to realise, “at least I made one person proud. Yahal? I am not familiar with that name but I’ll take your word for it. A god?” she asked curiously.

The breath in her ear, the tender brush of the cheek that hurt in more than one manner. She knew she didn’t deserve such kindness but she brushed that away with the affirmation that one day she would. The crease of the other’s brow, the blushing and broken sentences. So that was what kept Fallon up? So certain about so much but not about that. She lay quietly, pondering the words and knowing that what was said in response could have a profound effect – she needed to choose the right words. She couldn’t really answer the unspoken query, she didn’t know the answer. She was sure about some things though, perhaps they would be enough for now. The slump of the shoulders, was Fallon afraid?

“Not so peaceful when asleep am I? Well, we all have our faults,” she jested, licked her lips and edged her way around the conversation, testing it, “and I don’t know what weare. Or what will happen. So much has changed already and will continue to do so, I think. I only know that, for you, I will try. I told you Wolf, I am finished pretending. I will not lie and say everything will be smooth, or even good. But it will exist and at the moment that is all that I can promise you,” she continued, leaning up with a grunt to place a small kiss upon the cheek, “I have faced the outer…storm…with you. I’m prepared to face the inner more eagerly” she finished. She hoped that the words had meant something to the other.

Her head shifted back to the bedding and the warmth of the shirt, their cocoon would be dismissed soon. They needed sustenance to begin their recovery and though she was a terrible cook she would cook them something. There were supplies she knew, scattered here and there about the tent. At least she could cobble together something to lend strength. Fallon needed rest, she knew her own professions required less exertion than Fallon’s and so resolved to begin being the assistant she had vowed to be. She owed that much to her.

“Other games?” she managed to garner a teasingly quizzical tone in response to that one, “I’m not sure I know what you are talking about. So it was magic! I wasn’t certain but it made sense. A new piece of the puzzle that is you. Fits well. Yes, Gad used it to move some dice…little trickster that he is. I think he will make a fine addition with some nudging in the right direction. A bit unpredictable but he has a good head for schemes and a talent for talking” she shrugged and winced slightly as her fingers traced an idle pattern upon the small of the back.

“Projection…well…I suppose that I should learn about it at least…you are worried I will run away at some magic? Oh Wolf, I have travelled in my time. Sunberth’s hatred left me long ago. I don’t care what secrets you hide, especially if they are useful. I have my own…”

She trailed off the words and used some of her reserved energies to taunt her Djed into submission, into moving the way she wanted it to. It took a few chimes but as the effort continued and her face clenched and contorted it managed to bring what little she could muster into her head – her eye and nose mostly, nothing else this time. She opened her eye tiredly and focused, narrowing the field of vision as the world blurred and pulsed colours before her. She looked over the other woman and perception kicked in, her mind processing what her gaze was seeing.

“You are purple you know, don’t know what that means but you are. With black cracks dotted about…injuries I think judging by the positions. So many…so many…latticing you. They will fade with time but they were thick now, too thick” she sighed and the world seeped away and her head slammed back to the bedding with a thud.

“There, now you know my secret too. I don’t loathe mages, I am one. Well…I dabble. I think no less of you, more actually I think. You are clearly talented and resourceful and those traits are never negative. Not to me. I think..”

“I think I can brave sitting up in a few more chimes. I won’t reveal your secret. Never. Torture wouldn’t rip it from me. I think that there are a few terrible individuals who have ruined magic for the world but I have never been one to judge everyone based upon one person’s actions. A poor spy would I be if I did, though I am touched by the concern I would disapprove. Hush and have no fear in that regard” she brought her other arm around to lock fingers with Fallon’s.

“My own questions…why did you not tell me about it? And was it what made that…man…drop on top of me. I thought that was strange but, now that you say it…I’ve seen it. Well, it makes sense. Also, are you ready to taste the poorest cooking in the world? Because soon I will be unwrapped and then you will stay in bed. You looked after me, I will do the same for you” she grinned, the idea was infectious and she would not take no for an answer.

[Fallon]

"Yahal is a God, that is correct. The knights worship him a lot, along with a few others thus... well I know of him. T'is the effect of being with the order. He symbolises purity and faith, to be able to rise up above corruption," Fallon paused her explanation, an attempt to find the correct words that would make sense, "I suppose really you could call him a good god. A pure of heart warrior. I'm not really sure how to explain him outside of that."

A long inhale, a gentle press against. The mind was still confused, filled with so much uncertainty and worry. She was fond of the woman, that much was true; enough so that she was fearful for whatever would come. It would be so easy to be rejected, to be tossed aside in a moment of notice. Her eyes slid away, refusing to meet as Zandelia spoke. Lips pursed into a line, her mind trying to think about the meaning behind what was said. As if somewhere in the mixture there was indeed something that made sense. A hint, a feeling, an emotion that she could base things upon. But even that slipped away from her grasp, and in response it left only a throbbing strain looking to grasp anything. There was a slight flinch of surprise when the lips kissed her cheek and then she spoke in a mumble in response, "We shall face it together. One step at a time. Okay, Sunshine?"

Even that was hard to force out of her lips. With the woman snuggling back down beneath the layers, Fallon released a tense breath. Gods above this was hard. But, here she was now having to hesitantly put the pieces together - and so she would make the best of it. Zandelia, although she said she would be honest from now on, was still difficult to get a reading on. Tired, sluggish, the cheeks kept their blush, and it was only by smothering her face in her hand that the mercenary managed to gain some composure, "Yes. Other games. I don't know what sort yet but... well, I'll see where the mood takes me." Her eye peaked out from behind her fingers, "Probably some silly game involving dice knowing me. Though even then they will be few."

There was a shudder to the tracing finger, that pleasant chill hovering at the base of her spine. Quickly sliding a finger back across her gaze, a long inhale as she tried to think clearly. It was only a gentle touch, nothing that she should react to. But with the present intimacy and the close contact everything seemed slightly more sensitive. Or, it could have just been the injuries rebelling slightly - she did not know, nor did she really care. Besides Zandelia had spoken about Gad once more, "I will... need to talk to him about that. And dice? Sounds like myself in my youth. It's a good trick for gambling. As long as you don't get caught. Though... I recommend using the toes instead of the fingers - just preference though." She paused, a sharp inhale for a moment, "Yes. I just revealed all my gambling tricks to you."

She raised an eyebrow as she took the woman in, her brow creasing as she spoke. For a moment she paused, pulling back to look at the twisted features. Was she in pain, had something ached once more? Of course, such doubts were quickly put to one side. The colour, the speaking the description - it reminded her of one thing only.

"Auristics?" Fallon cocked her head to one side, "I... dabble in that also. But I'm inexperienced still. You're green. Like an emerald. I sort of looked. I... hey?" Her fingers gingerly reached down to touch the woman's face. For a moment she was concerned, her eyes speaking for her, "Don't worry about my marks, worry about yourself. I've been through worse," A reassuring smile, but even then the lips quivered slightly. Her finger gave a tap upon the lips, "A lot worse. Have no fear, I am a strong Wolf." In some respect there was an element of relief that Zandelia did not fear magic - it meant she could be open towards such things, have someone she could discuss ideas with and leave behind prejudice. On the other side, even the thoughts nagged to never trust a mage - their psyche was far from predictable and could be changed in a moment of pushing too far.

"Unless of course... you want to help them heal?" She shrugged and let the question hang there, the meaning left only to the imagination and the thought process of the sluggish woman beside her. A flicker of a smile, her eyes brightening slightly as she took the expression in. Hands found each other, slender fingers interlocking before once more she settled. A smile, a quick blush before the face seemed to turn sombre to the question.

"Yes. It was projection that cause the man that time to..." she shook her head, "I... did something horrible then. Frightening. I..." she fell silent and then chose her words, "Let's just say I gave him a permanent out of body experience." There was a rough inhale, her eyes looking away, "I didn't tell you because of two reasons. To begin with you never asked, and thus if you don't ask you don't get. And... I was scared I guess. Worried that whatever we had built would be lost because of what I was. I sort of... had it drilled into me early on that magic was something not to shout out about - unnecessary attention, prejudice, even danger from some people. It was to be a well kept secret for safety..." she paused, her gaze lifting to meet Zandelia, "You. You're the only one I've admitted to... who knows other than the Hound, but even then they're not exactly in the picture anymore."

She chewed her lip, her gaze returning to the woman's. Nerves swum behind her orbs, nagging worries pressing against her expression. Fingers squeezed, a moment of vulnerability consuming her and searching for some reassurance. Or at least until the rest of the words finally clicked.

"But that means you'll get cold," Fallon objected. Her cheeks puffed out at that point, a mocking scorn upon her face, "And then I'll get cold. And then we'll both be cold. And that's no fun for anyone. Or at least until we try to get warm again." She sat up at that point, arms crossing and her head turning away in a fake pout. Not that it lasted long, for before long she was lying sprawled out next to the woman with a wicked grin upon her face. She was plotting something, mischief flickered in her gaze, and the flash of teeth as she schemed resting there.

"I propose a game," her voice purred, full of cunning and fun. Both of her arms wrapped firmly around the woman, a gentle lean in so their foreheads touched and the eyes burning in amusement. There was a refusal to let go, a light hum trilling in the back of her throat, "I will not let you go until you give me a very good reason or cause to. Thus, alas, it means you'll have to stay here with me indefinitely. Nice and warm, and cocooned. Only when you do so... well I'll let you go. Deal?"

[Zandelia]

Laughter bubbled up from within, a fit of giggling that she couldn’t contain whatever she tried to do. Ribs shook and ached at the same time, pain flashing from the cuts and bruises but this time fading in the face of mirth. It was a precious gift and one she relished even though it brought a coughing fit towards the end, her back rounding as she turned her head and her lungs retched. Breathing wheezed and with time faded as the chuckles died down eventually. A few chimes passed perhaps, she didn’t track the time so much as live in the moment – for once. The very idea that she was Yahal, it hurt her ribs. It was said with truth from the other’s perspective but she doubted Yahal would deem her worthy.

“Oh…oh…Wolf. I’m notthat good. Not yet at least. But thank you, for giving me something to smile about. And perhaps a reputation to live up to, the only one that matters” she continued her chuckling through the throbbing bruises. Tears came to her good eye, no doubt Fallon was perplexed by the outburst but it was just so…ironic. She was being compared to such a good thing after such a terrible outcome.

“Does Yahal say anything about rehabilitating spies who really petch up?” she asked between the shuddering of dying enjoyment.

She settled, the last few chuckles reaching their ending and realised that perhaps she would have given offense. She hadn’t meant to do so but the reaction was made of pure truth. It was almost impossible to see herself upon the side of ‘good’ much less even than the side of ‘good for me’. She could see why the comparison had been made but it was a fleeting attraction, she put it aside for future consideration. She wasn’t even sure that she could understand good anymore. Viewpoints were skewed and ultimately difficult to pinpoint. Perhaps in time. She breathed in deeply, sighing out one last time back into relaxation. She looked up, through the fading mirth thinking she saw disappointment upon the countenance of the other. She wondered why briefly and then the answer came to her as a freeze-frame of the previous night.

I love you…she said it. She is scared, she wants to hear it back perhaps? Or at least know there is more than games. I can’t fault her, though it hurts. How must it be? To shut yourself off and become exposed? Like a nerve? I did the same but…she is in a different realm entirely there… she wondered briefly, smiling as she reached out tapped the nose.

“I remember what you said Fallon,” the true name was important, it meant it was closer than the pet names, “we will face it together. I love you too, I do. Just…give us both time, to fully realize what this is. I don’t think it will take one evening of injured rest. Or not rest. And I am old so know that I don’t choose such things on a whim. I didn’t choose at all actually. Which is probably for the best”

“I can think of better games you know, but they will have to wait until later. When I’m able to dance properly. Oh yes…dance. Now leaving you on that note yes…Auristics. I don’t know much of it but enough to get by. Useful for many things – from gambling to reading people. It’s what I used before I got good at my craft. Now though, it has fallen by the wayside. I should probably improve it but never manage to find the time. If you have it then we could try together…if you like?” she posed the question but knew they were both too tired to take up the mantle this day.

Perhaps in the future, when we are alone. Quiet time together, contemplating upon things after barring the world from ourselves. I would like that, it would keep us entertained and yet also bring things together she noted the observation of possibility and filed it away in her mental palace.

“Emerald? Like my eye? If only you had seen me with both,” she looked away, she hated the dead milky white on an intrinsic level, “but I don’t know how to heal with it. Not sure it is even possible. But I can see when you are hurt. Physically and…well just hurt. I can help in other way though. Make the pain more bearable. Not because I owe you but because I can” she continued as smoothly as she could muster.

“Gad would make a good mentee for you, I think. I have done my best with him but I believe his interests lie outside of what I know. Something to consider perhaps. The others…I can help more with them perhaps. I don’t know. I need to think upon it more deeply” she stated simply, factually and then revelation hit.

Fallon had been flirting and she hadn’t even noticed it. Had assumed that she didn’t do it beyond the sheepish glance here and there, stolen and then released without expectation. Were things different now? Did the previous evening mean so much? Of course it had. She should have noticed sooner but her mind and body were tired, too tired for consummation but not, perhaps, for the promise. This was new, aside she hadn’t seen much of before. It was endearing and attractive, powerful in its roundabout admission.

“I will ask in the future then, everything and anything. No matter how small,” she spoke huskily, mention of trust was not needed in response to the other words, action had already proven the trust, “and pouting? That is new. Suits you. Very well…a reason?” she looked from side to side as if trying to search out something scarce.

“Okay…I can’t do much in my present condition but I can give my word. And a little bit more I think,” she stated, her left arm pulling as firmly as it could, “you will let me go to make food for us both. You will stay where you are and just talk. Whatever you want to talk about. And in return you get this…” she pulled at the other woman and lips met, parting and tongue dancing its expressive rhythm as hands pawedatfabric and the flesh beneath before she pulled away and rolled sideways slowly – she didn’t get too far considering her state.

“And more, when I can. I will learn the lute again and play it for you – terribly I’m sure. And I will do my best to be worthy of the attention. Fair deal? Or did you want me to dance as well?” she grinned towards the tent roof.

[Fallon]

Fallon's face twisted, her lips forming into a line almost as if trying to work out the sudden outburst of laughter. Her head cocked to one side, her mouth opening as if to speak - until she realised the only naivety of her words. Still it managed to bring some form amusement to the growing light of the scene. She scratched at her chin, sheepish smile but no real answer. There was not one she could give in honesty, she did not know the divine that well. Probably, her thoughts spoke. A gentle recoil came when the finger tapped her upon the nose, her eyes centring down upon the tip as she pulled away.

Attentive, her eyes lifted to meet Zandelia's when her name was spoken. For a moment she winced, her mind trying to weight up what was meant. She remembered her words before the duel, the final turn before she turned to face the danger head on - if it was not the memories that reminded her it was the aches of the body. There was a chew of the lip, a frown as she thought. And then it lifted, her lips breaking out into a flash of a smile. Time was needed, it was not denial, it was just simple patience and waiting - let things develop out and be taken in the heat of the moment. It still did not mean that Fallon was not nervous about the whole situation.

"What do you even mean by danc-" she caught herself and sighed in realisation, "Right. That. I... uh..." A blush, a nervous scratch of the neck. She did not really have a comeback for that one, so it was with a squeak that she lowered her gaze, "When that uh... yeah. That. I. Please. Just... be gentle?" Fallon buried her head into her hands and hid in her embarrassment, "Don't mind me. Just digging myself a hole." A long inhale, it took the best part of a few chimes to gain some composure. Her cheeks were tinted pink, that look of simple inexperience in dealing with such things - she was grateful when the subject swiftly moved on, "Yes... I would like that. Not now, maybe later. Another time or something."

There was a grimace when Zandelia looked away, she did not really know how to answer - or if whatever she said would be of any use anyway. She did not know the possibilities of healers or what they were capable of. A mystery in its finest - one day, maybe she would be able to possibly do something about it. Somehow. With a quick nod on the subject of Gad - she was not sure how she felt exactly on the idea of being a mentor - the subject quickly moved on. And then the realisation came to the woman.

Still grinning she looked upon the woman, cat like almost as she weighed the woman up. Tongue flashing she gave a teasing look to the woman, her jaw resting in her hand whilst her form stretched out. Her joints gave a click, her muscles stretching out as she watched Zandelia pause, a rumbling of appealing husky tones escaping. Devious and playful Fallon released a smirk, "It suits? Maybe you should give me more reason to do so if you find it so appealing." Her eyes slipping down to the pulling left arm. She did not resist of course, and instead raised her brow in curiosity to what would come next.

A gentle gasp, a murmur of surprise as the lips pressed together. Firm, dominant, looking to express something. Craving, desires? Or was Zandelia simply striking a bargain with her? For a moment there was only a flicker of a ponder, before her mind was consumed in slightly more important things. The taste of the feeling, the teasing suggestions of what could come. Her fingers barely had time to cup the face of the woman before she had pulled away. The warmth was gone, her lips left twitching. Even that unfamiliar neediness brushed against the back of her mind, her cheeks aglow as the gaze slid round to the woman next to her.

Eyes blinked, a gentle roll onto her own back - if not for a low hiss when she did. Her mind had forgotten the injuries of the body it seemed for a few ticks. Lips twitched as if to say something, opening slightly but producing no sound. Fingers pinched at the bridge of her nose, her eyes blinking as she took the offer in. Fallon gave a sniff, "Don't worry. I heard lutists were good with their fingers." And then she promptly realised what she had said, "I mean, not... I... never mind," she sucked in the air, "Yes... fair deal. But first I need to ask you something. You... cougar you."

Forcing herself to move, Fallon leaned in close once more, a single finger placing itself under the woman's chin. Her gaze deepened, staring as she took the woman in her gaze. Lips broke into a curl, devilish as she gave only a quick glance down the length and then back up.

"You keep mentioning this dance to me..." she gave only a purr into the woman's ear. Hot breath exhaled, a finger tracing down from the jaw to the throat and the collar bones, "Talking, offering, suggesting it..." Shapes were gently pulled out as the tip lowered and made its descent downwards. Lips gently caressed the shell of her ear, "My, my Zandelia if I didn't know any better I'd say you were looking to dance yourself..." She drew a collection of swirls upon her skin, circling the navel and then pausing, "Craving, needing, searching..." Mischief gave a glint in her eye, curious as to see how the woman would react - if she would at all - "Is that right?"

[Zandelia]

“Keep digging, you’ll come out the other side eventually, so they say,” she wheezed out another series of chuckles, the day was growing far more jovial as it progressed, a far cry from its beginnings, “oh is that so? I shall remember…” she all but cackled as she raised the hands above her and wiggled the fingers tauntingly before her arms slipped sideways and slapped to the floor as she tried, and failed, to regain any form of composure.

“And I heard that the silver tongued are useful for more than talking,” she returned, amusement at the turn of events clear, “what question? It’s not the one about how I clean myself and yet don’t cough up hair is it? I told you before that I’m a poor cat! I’d much rather use my tongue to-” she began but wasn’t afforded the ability of finishing.

This was interesting, strange territory that had hovered between them before, always there but seldom stepped into freely – at least by Fallon. Zandelia had stepped there on occasion, probing every so often and she regretted that after a fashion. Now more than before. She had little time to contemplate such things as the gained distance was swiftly closed and advantage was lost to one she would never have thought would grasp it within their fingers. Advantage was the wrong word perhaps, it was more akin to the taking of what was there – the decision to possess what was offered. It was true and yet misread all at once. She had actually meant dancing, for once telling the truth with little meaning hidden.

“Yes…Wolf?” she asked as boundaries were pushed from the other side for once.

She found thinking to be difficult, though there was the sensation that polarities had swiftly reversed and left her disorientated. Dynamics shifted and slowed, others burst into being without a pause and fingers trailed, beginning at the chin and moving with purpose. Pulse responded in the only way that it was able to muster. She was tired, battered and yet still able to feel something akin to what was presumably desired to be incited. She shivered, the mirth gone and replaced all too neatly with desire as skin rippled and pimples began to dot what skin could be seen. She was foolish, gods help her she was. Far from ready to even think about engaging without ripping open new wounds and yet lust coursed through her at the teasing.

Dangerous. Nice. Want. Need. No. Yes. Fear. Weakness. Yes. Stupid. Too soon. Feel. Yes. No. Yes. No…Yes things flickered as rapidly as touch caressed her and it was a battle she was unable to predict the outcome of. She couldn’t stop the inhalation, the breathing growing shallower. Response was impossible to control on such basic levels but there were other things she could.

“I…well…what? What! What I want doesn’t mean that I can have. Not now. Yes…I do. But…what? Ooooh, you are a bitch! You pick the times before a duel to…and then now when injured you…gods you are insufferable!” she spoke, exasperated and unable to conjure up much else beyond base instinct.

There was little consideration now beyond the physical. Somewhere a barrier had been shattered. She wasn’t sure if it was her own or the other’s but ultimately she wasn’t sure that it mattered. How strange that they so easily decided to die together and yet shied away from the other side, the living. Perhaps it merely showed their outlook but there was possibly more to it, something simpler. Dying was easy. Living was more difficult. She hissed like the cat she had been described as and the decision was made, living meant sharing. Experiencing. If she was to be teased then she would damned well retaliate in kind. Fingers snapped around Fallon’s wrist and held it above her, hovering for a little while.

“I think that you have got it all wrong Wolf,” she hummed softly, “I think that you think that it’s just me. I think that it takes both to dance…in that way…and you are being entirely too suggestive to be my Fallon,” grapple hold brought fingers to her breast, “but you are her? A puzzle? Or just you for once? Either way you can take this…”she began but didn’t finish.

She shifted sideways, onto the injured shoulder with a wince and her hand came around, slipping underneath the shirt neatly to graze the tips of fingernails across firm muscle until it reached the curve of bust and the stopped at the softness there, covering gently. Green looked into blue-green and her face pressed in teasingly. Lips met and then parted, head shifting to the side to trace lower lip against cheek until both pulled at earlobe. Fingers pressed as heart quickened and the flickering of fires within kindled. It was foolish, supremely foolish given the current physical condition, but there was a need. To explore, to discover the other as completely as she could. A dreamy flickering, the limits of endurance already being pushed.

“Yes…I crave, I need, I want,” the words would whisper into her ear, teasing but laden with truth, “like nothing else in the world. And you…have found a sense for the touch Wolf. Want to see what it can do?” she breathed as fingers traced down, the same idle pattern Fallon had used upon her, until they grasped at the hem of trousers, pulled, paused, “maybe later. When I can do it justice” she finished, regret within the tone as head was pulled back, faces hovering closely for few moments as chin tilted upwards, almost a dare. She would get up soon perhaps but the opportunity was too good to miss.

“Yes? No?” the question was asked with feigned innocence, as much as she could muster.

This was fun. Unexpected and on some level plain ridiculous given the state of them but enjoyable. Soft words, playful phrases. Simple things. The promise was being fulfilled and the day was becoming. Fallon was different today too, a new layer appearing perhaps. She spoke on unwrapping her but Zandelia suspected that the unwrapping would be far more revealing if used upon Fallon. She smiled and began to pull away slowly.