Closed Losing Yourself in Your Work

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Timeline: 33rd day of Spring, 514 AV Seirei was bored. It felt as though she had been sitting in the moving wagon forever. She couldn't even amuse herself by watching the scenery. They were currently traveling through the Sea of Grass, and very little changed from one mile to the next on the endless grassland. Rolling hills of grass, grass, and more grass stretched as far as the eye could see. There weren't even any trees to break up the monotomy of the landscape. Once in a while, they passed a herd of deer, or a herd of wild horses, but those were few and far between. The sky was grey and dreary, and it looked as though it was going to pour at any moment. Mother won't even let me sit up by Jared. If I could, he'd teach me how to drive the horses. He promised that he would the next time we moved. But the horses have been acting up all day, and Mother doesn't think that it's safe. Maybe she's right, but I really wish there was something I could do... Seirei thought in dismay. Seirei was jolted from her thoughts when her mother cleared her throat. She looked up reluctantly, fearing a lecture on the need for patience. "You look like you're ready for another lesson." her mother said with a warm smile. Boredom instantly turned into rapt fascination, and Seirei nodded eagerly. Her mother sat down beside her, and showed her the tool she was holding in her hands. It was a thin piece of metal with a wooden handle at one end. The other end was very thin, and had a sharpened point. Seirei stared at it intently, trying to commit even the slightest detail to memory. "This is a pick. Carvers use their sharp points to scratch or indent the surface of the material they're working with. If you're working with bone or ivory, they can be used to cut away hard to reach places, and create a fine edge. They can also be used to create fine details in your piece. Especially something small, like a bead."

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei woke slowly as the dream faded. The familiar pang of grief hit her as she was again reminded that her mother was gone. Seirei was tempted to try to go back to sleep, and to retreat into dreams once more. But she knew even as she considered the thought that it was futile. Why can't I accept that my mother is gone? Every time I wake up from a dream of her, it feels like I'm losing her all over again. she thought wearily. Seirei looked around the tent. Thankfully, Lian seemed to be gone. The less she saw of her captor, the happier she'd feel. His absence also meant that she could practice something else that her mother had taught her as a young child. Or tried to teach her. As obsessed as she had been about learning about carving, Seirei had had little interest in anything else. It was only as she got older that her interests had begun to spread out into other areas. Seirei rummaged through her backpack, until she found a simple wooden instrument case. It wasn't much to look at, but it served its purpose. The case was padded on the inside to protect the wooden flute held within it. Seirei opened the case, and lifted the flute out carefully. Then she held it in her hand, just staring at it, lost in thought. Her mother loved music in all its forms. Singing, musical instruments...she loved listening to it all. She was never very good at playing the flute, but she did her best to teach her what she did know. Carving was her passion, but music was something she loved nearly as much. Seirei loved music, too. She often found herself singing as she worked. Or as she went about her day. Or when she needed to think. Or when she needed not to think. A day rarely went by when Seirei didn't sing. Playing the flute was simply an extension of that. Seirei ran her fingers over the holes of the flute. Then she put it up to her mouth. She blew gently, listening to the sound it made. It amazed her that you could make beautiful music simply by covering the holes of the flute in the right order. It was much the way that a beautiful sculpture could emerge from a block of wood in the hands of a skilled carver. Seirei covered all six holes with her fingers, and blew hard into the flute. The sharp, harsh, loud sound told her that she had clearly made a mistake. So she tried again, this time being far more gentle as she blew into the mouth of the flute. The sound that emerged from the flute this time sounded much better. It also sounded different than when she had blown the flute without covering any of the holes. Once again, Seirei blew gently into the flute. This time, she kept all of the holes covered except for the sixth hole. The sound that the flute produced was different than the first three attempts she had made. Covering the holes of the flute in different combinations causes the flute to make different sounds. Knowing how to play the flute must mean knowing which combination of covered holes makes which sound. That way you can listen to a song, and play the sound that sounds most like the song. she mused.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei experimented with the flute for a while longer, practicing the sounds that she had made in an attempt to commit the combination of covered holes needed to make those sounds to memory. After a while, Seirei decided it was time to put the flute away. One of the trade caravans currently staying in Endrykas sold signs of all kinds. Seirei was confidant that she could make some that the trader would be interested in either trading for more raw materials, or buying. He was only going to be in the tent city for a few weeks, so Seirei wanted to get a number of signs made during that time so she'd have a variety to offer him. Seirei gathered her tools, and went outside. Next to the tent lay a 3' long 2"x8" plank of wood. She had bought it from one of the trade caravans currently staying in Endrykas. He'd been willing to sell her a single plank rather than the 50lbs worth that lumber was usually sold in because she promised to give him first dibs on the signs she made with it. If he wanted any of them, he would be allowed to buy them first, and at a discounted price. Sitting down on the ground outside Lian's tent, Seirei set the plank of wood in front of her. She studied it for several long minutes, picturing in her mind how big she wanted the signs to be. Keeping the image of what she wanted firmly in her mind, Seirei picked up her saw, and positioned it to cut off a piece that was roughly one foot long. It was a good size for a sign, and using that length would give her three signs out of the plank of wood she had bought. When she was ready, Seirei pressed down on the saw, drawing it across the wooden plank. With practiced strokes, she cut through the wood, ignoring the sound that it made. Since the wood was only two inches thick, it didn't take long at all to saw through it. Seirei positioned the saw once more, and sawed off another piece of the plank. When she was done, she had three pieces of wood, roughly equal in size. Each was a foot long. Knowing that she wouldn't need the saw again for this particular project, Seirei carefully wrapped it up, and placed it back in her tool kit. Then she set two of the pieces of wood aside, and set the third directly in front of her. Seirei had already decided what she wanted to do for her first sign. She knew that it was best to draw a picture of what one wanted to carve before trying to carve an image. Doing so would allow her to keep the image firmly in her mind as she worked, so she wouldn't make mistakes. It was more important to have a drawing when carving a complex image than it was for the simple design she was planning to make, but it was better to have a drawing to work from than not to have one. Even a master carver would make mistakes if they were arrogant, or careless enough to leave out important steps in their worn. And Seirei knew that she was far from a master carver. Paper was hard to come by in Endrykas since the Drykas didn't use much of it. Seirei didn't have any, and didn't want to spend any of the money she would need when she made her escape to buy some. But she didn't really need any for the simple design that she had in mind. Using a finger, Seirei drew a simple vertical curved line in the dirt beside her. When she was done with that, she drew another vertical curved line an inch or so above the first. The second curved line was slightly taller than the first. Then she extended the starting point of the second curved line a bit horizontally. Making a partial rectangle, she connected the two curved lines. She repeated the process with the ending point. The end result looked like the rough outline of a horse shoe. Pausing for a moment, Seirei studied her work. Something was missing. Frowning in thought, Seirei pressed the tip of her finger into the dirt at the top left of the horse shoe. Doing so made a small indentation. Seirei repeated the process six more times, moving down the center of the curved lines, and ending up in the top right of the shape. The end result looked more complete. Satisfied with the image Seirei wanted to create for the sign, Seirei picked up a piece of charcoal and carefully recreated the outline of the horse shoe in the center of her piece of wood.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

When that was done, it was time for the next step. Seirei picked up one of her chisels, only to set it down again a moment later. It was too big for what she wanted to do. After a moment, she selected another chisel. This one was somewhat smaller than the first. Satisfied that she had chosen the right one this time, Seirei positioned the chisel against the wood. Pressing down on the plank, she put some weight against the chisel, and made the first cut. Seirei followed the outline she'd made with the charcoal as she continued to work. While not strictly necessary for a design as simple as the one she was making, it certainly helped all the same. Seirei sang quietly as she worked. The song she sang was a simple one. Little more than a child's song, really. But it was one her mother had taught her when she was young. They had often sang it together as they worked. Seirei had a lot of fond memories of singing this song while learning how to carve wood with her mother. Singing it now was bittersweet. It reminded her of happier times, and distracted her from the misery of her present circumstances, and the fears for her future. But at the same time, it reminded her that her mother was gone. They would never sing together while working on a project again. Seirei faltered in her work. Tears filled her eyes as the feeling of loss overwhelmed her. Rather than brushing the tears away and trying to distract herself with work once more, Seirei let the tears come. Lian wasn't there to see her in a moment of weakness. No one was. She was completely, and utterly alone. Pushing her tears away was the same as pushing her very real grief away. In some ways, that was like denying that she was grieving the loss of her mother. And it wasn't just her mother's death that Seirei was grieving. It was the loss of her beloved older brother, all of her friends...everyone she had ever known. Although she hadn't lost them to death the way she'd lost her mother, they were gone all the same. Despite being alive, they were dead to her. Or she was dead to them. Seirei wasn't sure it mattered which one was true. The end result was the same. Her entire life...everything and everyone she had ever known and loved...was gone. And as much as she desperately wished otherwise, it was never coming back. Though she might try to deny it, deep down, she knew the truth. Her caravan...her family had abandoned her. They had given her a chance to survive, sure. But Seirei had to admit that they must have realized how small a chance she had really had. Seirei didn't know how to ride, and they hadn't left her with a horse even if she could ride. She had had no way of knowing how far she was from civilization, or in what direction she'd needed to go in order to reach it. Nor did she have the skills to keep herself alive out in the Sea of Grass long enough to find civilization. Her own people had abandoned her to die, while making themselves feel better about it by telling themselves that they had left her with enough supplies to give her a chance to survive. And it was all because they believed she was bringing bad luck down on them because she was half Drykas...because she was different from them. It had been no less than a miracle that Lian had found her out in the vast Sea of Grass. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, he really had saved her life that day...not that she ever planned to admit that to him. He knew the truth anyway, damn the man. Lian rubbed her face in the truth every time she resisted when he forced himself on her. According to him, he was only exercising his rights. She owed her life to him, and so he had the right to force her to spend the rest of her life bearing children for his people. A people that she could quickly come to hate if she allowed herself to. Seirei was willing to admit that she owed her life to the man. Reluctantly, maybe, but she was. And that she owed him because of that. But that didn't give him the right to rape her every night, and to forcibly breed her like she was some kind of brood mare. Seirei didn't even want to think about the idea of Lian succeeding in getting her pregnant. But she knew that it was a very real possibility if things stayed as they were now. Unless she was barren, sooner or later, he would succeed. What would happen if...no, when he did? Seirei didn't want to think about that, either. So Seirei gave in to the release of tears, and cried. Tears of grief over the death of her mother, and the loss of her entire world. Tears of anger and shame at being raped every night, and being helpless to resist the man that was forcing himself on her. More tears of anger at being abandoned, and left to die, as well as at her captivity, and at the man who was holding her captive. Tears of fear for the uncertain future, and for the children she was going to be forced to bear if she couldn't find a way to escape in time. Eventually Seirei couldn't cry anymore. She didn't know how long she had been crying. Her eyes ached, and felt dry and swollen. They burned unpleasantly, and Seirei could only imagine how red and blotchy they were. Her head ached as well, and her nose was stuffy. She sniffled as she rubbed her eyes, brushing the tears away. But despite everything, she had to admit that she felt a little better. Her troubled heart felt lighter for the release of pent up emotions that had been building up inside her.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei looked down at the sign she had been working on. After studying it carefully for several minutes, she picked up her chisel, and resumed her work. This time she chose another song to sing as she worked. Her voice wavered a little as she sang, but that was only to be expected after her recent outburst of emotion. When she was done with her chisel, she set it aside, and sat back to examine her work. Satisfied with the way it turned out, Seirei nodded to herself. Using the drawing she'd made in the dirt as a reference, she picked up her charcoal and made a dot on the wood in each place she'd made one in her dirt drawing. Now that she was done with her chisel, the marks wouldn't be destroyed until she made the indentations in the wood. When she was ready, she picked up one of her gougers, and placed the tip on one of the dots she'd made with the charcoal. Then she pressed the tip into the wood, making a small dimple. Seirei repeated the process every place she'd marked a dot on the wood. Each time she used the gouger, she was careful where she placed the tool. If she accidently put one of the dimples she was trying to make off center, everything would look off balance. The sign she was trying to make would be ruined. Finally it was time for the last stage in her project. Seirei set aside her gouger in favor for the leather she used when sanding wood. She rubbed the piece of leather lightly over the whole piece of wood to smooth away any splinters. But most of her efforts were localized on the edges where she had cut the plank into useable pieces. She wanted the edges of her sign to be smooth, and slightly rounded at the corners. Thanks to her crying spree, it had taken Seirei longer than she had planned to make her sign. So when she finished with the one she was working on, she decided to call it a day. It was late afternoon, and Lian would likely be home from wherever he'd gone off to before long. More importantly, Seirei didn't want to start a new project only to have to stop soon after when it started to get dark. So Seirei gathered up her tools, and carefully repacked them into her kit. Then she picked up kit, sign, and blank planks of wood, and brought them all into the tent. Once that was done, Seirei got her flute, and went back outside. She wanted to get a bit more practicing in before Lian returned, and she couldn't for fear that the noise would annoy him.

[Khida]

Seirei

Skill	Points
Carpentry	+1
Carving	+2
Drawing	+1
Instrument: Flute	+1
Singing	+1

• Carpentry: sawing a plank to size
• Carving: following a simple outline
• Flute: cover holes to change pitch
• Pick: tool for carving detail

Notes

A nice little story of Seirei's day. I like that you included things other than just 'the job' in the thread. The awards should be pretty self-evident. I couldn't give Negotiation because you didn't actually show Seirei haggling for the plank.

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade. Also, please edit your request to show this thread has been graded.