Flashback Horsing Around [Billie]

[Lissa Maze]

Lissa Maze 3 Spring, 514 AV The light was fading from the Syliras sky. Sunset over the ocean, Lissa thought, was a marvelous thing indeed. It was really two sunsets in one--the sky and the sea matching colors, for a ways, and then the gentle ripples of a calm sea making it look like a different landscape. She wondered idly if this might be what sunset on hills looked like--light hitting bits of each slope, an endless pattern of light and dark... The girl blinked, catching herself. She was tired, today, but pleased. She was an adult. Living by herself, finally--though moving, the girl thought with a frown, was an unpleasant process indeed, and more so in the rain. Of course, now late in the evening the sky had innocent wisps of cloud, but earlier they had been thick and heavy with rain--rain deposited promptly on Lissa's head. But now, she was tired and dry and restless all at once. Lissa was accustomed to having others around, always. When she was a young girl, until she was 8, she had lived with just her mother--but that hadn't been so for a long time. She lived in an orphanage, with so many others that she sometimes felt rather lost in the shuffle--not in any serious ways, perhaps, but there was something to be said for getting some attentions from someone when she had a good story or a pretty outfit. An idea popped into her head, an idea with a warm place and friends and plenty to do. Windmount stables! She knew how to get in, whether it was officially closed or not, and it was too early to be locked up (not, Lissa thought smugly, that it would be a problem for her if it actually were locked)--and faster than her mind decided yes, Lissa was on her way. She was quiet closing the door, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit building. The muffled sounds of hoofbeats in stalls, huffs of breath from worn or frisky creatures--it made her smile. She hadn't been here in days, and that was too long. She ambled through the stable like one browsing in a store, peering in to this stall and that, occasionally reaching out to stroke a friendly nose or offer a tidbit of a treat. Finally, she stopped at a stall with a familiar face. "Hey, Sula," she greeted the horse, voice soft. A searching nose reached out and poked her, prompting a guilty sigh. "All out of treats, sorry." As if she'd understood, the horse withdrew briefly, eventually letting herself be coaxed forward. Lissa absently stroked the mare's neck, content. If anyone should enter, she would jump, startled--Lissa was not expecting any company tonight.

[Billie]

It wasn’t often that the young woman felt the ache of loneliness so strongly. But there was something about the rainy day that had made her this way. The rain had stopped now so she decided she would go for a walk. She threw on a simple pair of pants, a long sleeved blouse. It was nothing fancy, and her short hair was a little overgrown, but, currently, her appearance was a secondary issue.

She left her room and watched the setting sun as it painted the clouds orange. It would be getting dark soon, but Billie didn’t want to go home to that empty room. She couldn’t, it would lead to awful self-pity. There was no room for such thoughts in her head. Not if she was to respect the memory of the people who she’d lost over the years. No, this sullen mood of hers just wouldn’t do, she’d just have to distract herself, and let it pass on it’s own.

It was getting late, and she couldn’t think of anywhere to go, but to visit Sula in the Windmount Stables. She liked talking to Sula, it distracted her, and eased her mind a little, even if, really, she was just talking to herself. For the beast couldn’t understand what she was saying. Sometimes she used Sula to practice her Nari or Fratava, other times she would just mutter incoherent thoughts as if she was writing some kind of auditory diary. People might think her strange, but if it helped her, what did it matter?

As she neared the stables, she felt her mood lift a little. It was warm here, and she loved the sunset. The whole setting made her feel happier. She knew the stables weren't actually open to the public right now, but there was no way they’d be locked yet. And besides, this meant they were more likely to be empty.

When she entered the darkened building she managed to scare a young lady half to death. The girl jumped, startled. Billie stifled a chuckle “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” She said casually approaching “I was actually just coming to see this one.” She said nodding towards Sula and hoping the girl didn’t work here, and decide to throw her out since it was way past closing time. ”I see the two of you are acquainted. I’m Billie." she offered, hoping she wouldn’t be made to leave the stables. It was after closing hours.

[Lissa Maze]

Lissa Maze Lissa was blushing almost before her feet hit the floor. Really, she shouldn't have been so startled, and certainly not so jumpy. She heard the shuffles and sharp taps of hooves as horses reacted to the noise she made, and she blushed farther. It had been a long time since she acted so silly around a horse. She'd learned early on that one was supposed to be calm around horses. Not startle easily, not jump, not scare the horses. This woman must think she was some sort of amateur. Lissa glanced outside, realizing that it was probably past closing time. Well, the woman probably shouldn't be here either. She wasn't sure what privileges horse owners had at Windmount. Could she get kicked out? She mentally shrugged. Billie didn't seem to mind. "I've seen you around Sula," she replied. "She's yours, isn't she--she's lovely." The admiration in Lissa's voice was real. Sula was a strong, attractive animal--and she let the girl come stroke her and groom her whenever she stopped by. "I'm Lissa," she offered, looking at Billie without taking a hand of Sula's soft neck. "Lissa Maze." After a moment's thought, she moved to the side, allowing room for Billie to see her horse at the door if she wished, and looked at her inquiringly.

[Billie]

Billie allowed herself to smile “Yeah, She’s mine, the two of us have been through the wilderness together many times, she’s a reliable horse” Billie agreed, walking close to Sula and petting her neck.

The girl looked young, and quite pretty. Her hair was lovely, black as night and falling down her back in graceful waves. Her eyes, however, were the most beautiful feature on her fresh face. They were brown, but flecked with sunnier shades, like sunlight filtering through the treetops. Billie couldn’t place her race, her features were vaguely reminiscent of the Vantha, but her skin was too light and her eyes weren’t vivid enough. Billie couldn’t quite place her, but she seemed familiar.

Billie realized she was looking at the girl for longer than she should, she still had issues with that. She was naturally observant and tended towards getting a good look at whomever she was talking to, but she knew that staring was rude. Finally she remembered seeing this young lady here before, though she hadn’t paid much mind to her in the past. “Come to think of it, I’ve seen you here as well. Do you work here or own a horse of your own?” She asked her as she smiled and petted Sula’s neck gingerly.

[Lissa Maze]

Lissa Maze Lissa's imagination took off. Through the wilderness! With a horse like Sula, you could go a lot of places. She didn't have the speed of a Windrunner--she wasn't of of the breeds that seemed to have Djed running through their veins--but she was a horse, and a nice one at that. Lissa looked at her, wondering how old she was. Certainly a full-grown mare, but not old old. Lissa turned to ask Billie and found the words stopped before hitting her throat. The older (older, but young) woman was staring at her. Lissa had, years ago, decided that staring was a poor word. "Staring" could be so many things. Staring was the blank feeling when your eyes didn't need to focus and stayed still and quiet; staring was a glare, an attempt at intimidation; and staring was what Billie was doing. Staring was a gaze that felt physical, an examination that seemed to be looking [i]for/i] something, not just at it. She wasn't sure she liked this type of staring. She started to say something, ask what Billie was looking at, but again found herself (unusually) silent. “Come to think of it, I’ve seen you here as well. Do you work here or own a horse of your own?” Lissa sighed and smiled at once, resigned but not unhappy. "I wish I had one of my own," she replied, glancing back at the horse. "Can't, though. Not yet. I will one day." That, at least, she was sure of. "I work here, though. Well--" realizing it wasn't quite accurate "--I work here sometimes. I, er, switch jobs every now and then." Nothing wrong with that, she'd decided a while ago. "I work here more often than anywhere else, though. And when I'm not working here...I can't stay away." The last was said with a grin. "They're the best thing in Zeltiva, these horses." Why was it that horses were easier than people? She had always found people easy enough. They didn't always matter, they were interesting,and--best of all--they had stories. if horses had stories, she couldn't hear them. And yet horses were easier than people. Billie didn't look like an easy person. Lissa glanced at her, wondering about her--anything about her. She traveled--was she from Zeltiva? Was Sula her first horse? Why was she here at night instead of out or with others? The questions weren't important enough to Lissa to ask them, though. Asking them might cut short her stable time, and she wasn't sure she cared yet. There had been silence for too long, though, and it was after all her turn to say something. "How about you? I mean, I know you have a horse--what's your job?"

[Billie]

Billie knew she’d made the girl uncomfortable. She hadn’t meant to. She felt the need to apologies, but she didn’t quite know how to phrase her apology, so she kept her mouth shut. She felt a stab of the depressing mood she’d been in return, and her eyes quickly darted anywhere but Lissa, only a flicker of the emotions she’d been feeling appearing on her face before it was quickly covered by her usual neutral mask. At least she responded when she asked her a question and set the conversation back on track.

Lissa asked about her occupation and Billie shrugged “Nothing, at the moment. I’ve done many things in the past, but right now I’m between jobs, I guess” She was currently living off of the money she had secured when she left Kenash. That was, Lacey’s money, and she still had some left over from when she had sold her house in Kenash as well, so working was currently unnecessary, at least for another season. She felt another stab of longing, and covered it up by continuing to talk “Can’t really figure out what I like best, I guess.” She added

That left the conversation kind of dead again though. Billie sighed quietly. Maybe she should acknowledge the tension she’d caused after all? She’d been off her usual game because of the mood she was in. It wasn’t always easy talking to people for the introverted woman. “I’m sorry, I fear I’ve made you feel awkward by coming here. I don’t mind leaving if you would rather be alone.” She said, still finding other places to look than directly at the teenager.

What a day… she should have just gone to the tavern. As soon as she thought that she internally rolled her eyes at herself. Oh yes, Billie, drown your sorrows with alcohol and maybe a late night one-night stand as well. One that will leave you lonelier than you were before in the morning and full of regrets. No, here was definitely better than that frightful fantasy.

[Lissa Maze]

Lissa Maze Billie noticed too--the uncomfortable moment. But, for Lissa, it had passed. It had mostly passed, with the continuance of conversation, and she didn't mind. And now she had learned something about the woman. They had something in common. I'm between jobs too," she replied, wishing there was more to say. "But isn't trying different things fun? Trying all sorts of different jobs and trying different things..." The qualification had come out much more quietly than Lissa's typical loud projections, and if her mind had not been elsewhere she might have wondered if Billie even heard. This was something she thought about often lately--what to do. She loved horses, and she knew that...but being a groom all her life? The idea didn't have the same gleam and thrill that it had only a few years ago. Stable dust had settled on it, with the niggling little doubts about perhaps a bigger future, or a different one. Since she was little, Lissa had woven stories. She'd imagined herself as a knight, going on dangerous journeys or protecting her city of Syliras from grand, mythical dangers. That idea had faded abruptly several years ago, with a rejections from the knights--and the shameful secret that she had been almost relieved by that. Seeing glass in stores had conjured images of glassblowing; magic, wood-carving, and even fine cooking had all taken their turns in her fantasies about the future. Somehow, though horses were the only thing that she always returned to, she didn't think she would be a groom her whole life. Maybe one day she'd learn to ride better, or she'd get serios about training the fine horses she admired and stroked from the outside--maybe it would be horses. Or, maybe,, it would be anything else. There was so much in the world that she wanted to see and know that she hadn't even heard of yet. Maybe Billie knew some of those things. Lissa's whirling thoughts had finally returned to the present, and she found waiting...silence. Oh dear, she thought, biting her lip. Probably Billie thought things dreadfully awkward again--she looked like it. Sure enough, the other woman spoke, confirming Lissa's suspicions. “I’m sorry, I fear I’ve made you feel awkward by coming here. I don’t mind leaving if you would rather be alone.” The girl shook her head, an out of place giggle escaping out of nowhere. "I don't mind," she replied earnestly. "I don't need to be alone, really. I've been alone a bit too much the past few days--I just moved out by myself. There used to be so many kids around...I mean, I like having my own space," she said hurriedly, "but it's...different." It rarely occurred to Lissa that people didn't want to hear so much about oneself, or to tell as much and more about themselves. "Look, if you really want to be alone, I guess I can go. But if you don't mind company...tell me about yourself." The teenager's tone was eager, finally interested in the other person. "Stories are the only things better than horses, aren't they? And I'm all out."

[Billie]

oocSo sorry this took me so long. It might happen from time to time when I get really busy with Uni work. My course is pretty full on. I’m an am mature filmmaker haha. Most of my breaks were spent sleeping or eating haha

The silence was ended with a rather refreshing giggle from the chirpy teenager. Billie found herself smiling at her response. She was so Sincere when she spoke, so honest. What was the expression? Ah yes, she wore her heart on her sleeve. Billie wondered if she would be like that had she had a less violent upbringing. “I’ve been alone far too much for my own good too.” She said finally with a nod. “Indecisive and introverted are two of my less advantageous traits I suppose.”

She was quiet for a long moment as she pondered how she wanted to respond to all Lissa had said, especially the last question ‘Tell me about yourself.’. It was a common question, but one she often dreaded. She was indecisive in how she should describe herself. Unsure how much of her past she wanted to give away, or how much was appropriate to tell an acquaintance. She definitely felt more comfortable around some people than others, and Lissa was sort of in the middle for her. She was very different from Billie, but she had qualities to her that Billie liked.

It was interesting that Lissa had left home around the same age Billie had. She wondered why. From what she said, she had family, or siblings at the least. She should like to ask that question, but she had to answer one first. “I’m no storyteller, but I have plenty of stories. One tends to gather them when they leave their home at a young age to travel.” Billie made herself comfortable, hoisting herself on top of the fence and dangling her lanky legs over the edge, not quite reaching the ground.

“I was born in Sunberth, raised by someone who wasn’t my mother, but good as. An Inaten woman named Sadie” She began “I miss her, but I can’t say I really miss the city, even if it is my home. I like peace and quite, and that place was awfully noisy.” She chuckled, staring off into space as she remembered Sunberth. She skipped over Sadie’s death, as she usually did, feeling it was a tragedy she wasn’t comfortable enough with Lissa to share. “Eventually I left when I was 16, somehow having managed to steer clear of being in some sort of gang for all those years to see what else the world had to offer.”

Her eyes kind of misted over as if she was seeing something other than what was in front of her. “I mostly traveled around Sylira, the furthest I went was into the Cypherus region when I went to Kenash.” She smiled “Every city has such a different feel to it. I’ve met some interesting people and seen interesting places. Although I’m still looking for something to aspire too. I guess I’m drifting.” She shrugged “The best thing about life is how much there is to experience, the sheer bigness of it all is what keeps me wandering. Maybe one day I’ll find something or someone who keeps me in one place.” She looked down at Lissa again “You want more than that you gotta ask the right questions. But answer one of mine first. Where are you from and why did you leave home so young?” She asked her, curiously.

[Lissa Maze]

[

Lissa Maze OOCSO sorry about the massively delayed reply & the shortness here!. Th woman nodded, saying, "I’ve been alone far too much for my own good too.Indecisive and introverted are two of my less advantageous traits I suppose." That elicited another chuckle from the younger girl. She was beginning to rather like Billie for more than her horse. "I never get introverted," Lissa replied confidently. She'd been told rather the opposite most her life. Sometimes with great annoyance, come to think of it...she didn't mind. In every conversation, one person had to talk. At least one person had to talk, she mentally corrected herself. It was much better when all the people talked, but sometimes only one did. That was often her in such situations. She hated the discomfort of silence. "Being alone too much isn't good, though," she agreed. "Though, sometimes, it's nice..." She then stopped talking, letting Billie take back the thread of conversation. Billie hopped up onto a fence and sat there, settling in. Lissa looked at the height of the fence in question, glanced down at her own shortlegs, and decided against it. She found a stool nearby, pulled it over, and settled on the ground opposite Billie. The other promised her a story, and Lissa was ready to hear it. "I was born in Sunberth, raised by someone who wasn’t my mother, but good as. An Inaten woman named Sadie. I miss her, but I can’t say I really miss the city, even if it is my home. I like peace and quite, and that place was awfully noisy." There was a chuckle, and a pause--probably thinking about this Sadie or Sunberth, Lissa assumed. "Eventually I left when I was 16, somehow having managed to steer clear of being in some sort of gang for all those years to see what else the world had to offer." Lissa found herself staring into space, listening. Billie had left home the same time she'd left...well, her home, she supposed. It had taken a while before Lissa called the place home. Home with her mother hadn't been much. It hadn't always had her mother, even, but it felt more personal. Smaller, easier, less crowded. Such thoughts, though, were a distraction from Billie's life, and that was what she was interested in for the moment. "I mostly traveled around Sylira, the furthest I went was into the Cypherus region when I went to Kenash. Every city has such a different feel to it. I’ve met some interesting people and seen interesting places. Although I’m still looking for something to aspire too. I guess I’m drifting. The best thing about life is how much there is to experience, the sheer bigness of it all is what keeps me wandering. Maybe one day I’ll find something or someone who keeps me in one place.You want more than that you gotta ask the right questions. But answer one of mine first. Where are you from and why did you leave home so young?" Lissa's face had drifted into a vague smile. She liked the idea--the bigness of it all! It was a nice turn of phrase. The kind she wanted to use, telling stories. Herself? Well, she supposed it was fair to ask, given her own questioning. "I got tired of it," she replied after a few moments' thought. "Well, I guess that's not quite it. The past 8 years home has been The Welcome Home--you know. Local orphanage." Lissa found herself unusually uncomfortable saying it. People usually either knew already or didn't need to know--and she was a local girl. She knew many of the folks, and they knew her. Orphanage was a word she didn't usually have to bother with. "My mum stopped coming home sort of gradual when I was eight, and eventually our neighbors took me over there. It's a nice place," she said quickly, not wanting Billie to get the wrong impression. "Really nice. Nice folks run it, all that. The Knights wouldn't let anything bad happen anyways. It's crowded, though. And nosy. And you don't get to be independent or have your own space, and if you live in an orphanage everyone treats you like a child. So," she shrugged, "I moved out the other day. I had enough money, I've been trying out all sorts of jobs for years. Aenysa keeps saying that if it doesn't work out I can come back, but I don't think so. I can handle it." That said, she realized she'd forgotten a major piece. "Oh, and I've lived in Syliras all my life. I've never left, since I was a baby and my mum brought me here. She was on a trip nearby when she had me, so I wasn't born here exactly, but I should've been, which is good enough. My life's nothing very exciting--yet."

[Billie]

oocNo problem! I’m so busy right now that my posts are gonna be a little slow as well haha.

Lissa grinned when Billie mentioned her introverted nature, prodly declaring she never got introverted. “Oh, I’m not shy, don’t get that mixed up. I just prefur to the peaceful to the obnoxious. Pretty strange considering where I’m from.” She said

After she spoke she listened to Lissa again, swinging her legs absentmindedly against the fence as she spoke about her childhood. When she mentioned the orphanage Billie smiled sadly. She’d always consided herself lucky with her childhood. After all, as the offspring of a prostitute who died not long after giving birth to her, she should have perished as a baby. But against all odds, someone desided to give her a home. Someone desided to love her, and make her feel like she belonged. Lissa said her mother stopped coming home when she was 8. She wondered why that was, but she didn’t ask.

What did make Billie smile was at the end of her story. She said ‘My life is nothing exciting… yet’. “You’re right, and you’re what, sixteen years old?” Billie asked “You have pleanty of time to make your life as exciting as you want it to be.”

Lissa said she never had independence in the orphanage. That would have crippled Billie. She hated feeling hemmed in or confined. That was the Sunberth mentality talking, of course, but independence was something she had in abundance. Everything she was physically capable of doing, Sadie had her do. She would buy her own food, earn her own money and fight her own battles. She wouldn’t have had it any other way either. “Independence is important, I agree.” She said with a nod. “I had an abundance of it when I was growning up. Everything I could do on my own, I did all by myself. If I was raised anyother way I might be dead by now, actually.”

It was true. She wouldn’t have been capable of leaving Sunberth alone and traveling on her own. She probably would have collapsed in Sadie’s home and accepted she was a goner.

She smiled and petted Sula again as she thought about what she could say next. It was nice, having someone to talk to. It had distracted her much better than she could have distracted herself from her stormy mood. “If you do travel away from Syliras in the future, where do you think you’d go?” She asked “I’ve always wanted to go to Kaela, specifically to lhavit, and Wind Reach.” She said with a smile [color=#FFFFFF]“I’m trying to learn how to hunt so that I don’t have to buy so much food for traveling.”

She drifted into silence as she thought about the places she’d mentioned. At the moment though, she wasn’t planning on going anywhere. She needed a break from travel and starting anew in a unknown city. And Syliras was the best place to do just that. She could learn to ride better here, and learn to hunt as well. And well… there was the letter of course, looming the the back of her mind all the time… There was a lot to take care of before the next stage of her life. She added