by Avalona on October 2nd, 2010, 3:17 am
Avalona was startled when she felt her body relax, she hadn’t realized she’d been tensing, but she was relieved by Ash’eny’s answer. Killing those boys wasn’t worth it. One might think that the question she asked was odd, but the woman was testing him. Surely a bad person, or someone along the lines of a sociopathic murderer, would not have given her the answer that she received. Well, unless they were faking it, but the pain and honesty in Ash’eny’s voice was too real to be false. Ava certainly believed him. His words put him in a better light in her mind, and the fact that she could still view him as a good man even after what he had told her had to say something about her feelings for him. But wasn’t she being foolish? Was it wrong to forgive someone for taking away another person’s life that quickly? Well knights kill, and so do soldiers, she thought to herself, But we don’t scold them for it. And aren’t they killing to protect their loved ones? Isn’t that kind of what Ash’eny did…kinda…well it’s close… The woman trailed off in her mind, and when she became aware that Ash’eny was talking again, she turned her complete attention on him once more.
Ash'eny began talking about a friend he had in the gang with him. When he mentioned the part about how he learned to steal and pick-pocket, Ava barely blinked. It did not come as a very big blow to her, for she had already faintly suspected it. She had kept his gear in her house overnight after all, and she had seen those unusual black clothes. Regardless if she was an artist or not, one did not have to be imaginative to guess their purpose. Of course it did have some effect on the redhead, but not as much as it would have if she had been completely oblivious.
Suddenly the air seemed to change. It became heavier almost, as Ash'eny covered his face with his hands, and the uncomfortable feeling reminded Avalona of the thick air right before it rains. She could tell that something unpleasant was going to be said next. When her friend spoke, his voice was filled with such emotion--such pain, that Ava could feel an odd sensation burn in her throat. "...Manilla, she was the cutest...most innocent child I had ever met. She was only eight...but from the moment she spoke to me, told me how she lived alone with her mum, I knew I wanted to try and be her father, the father she didn't have...The father I didn't have..." Ava's eyes began to sting, and the woman realized with horror that tears were threatening to come. No...not now...not in front of him...please! I cannot cry! Ash'eny laughed bitterly. "That woman and I hated each other so much from the day we met, but I loved Manilla so much that I would endure that woman's wrath until she was old enough to leave with me. I wanted...I wanted to bring Manilla here, to Syliras where nobody would hurt her, not like there."
At this point Avalona was holding on by a thread to her composure. She was trembling, and biting down on her lip to distract herself (and failing) from the emotions. But Ash'eny continued, raising his now wet face from his hands. Avalona's covered her mouth with her palm, trying to stifle the sob that was building up pressure in her chest. At the man's final word, the redhead's mask cracked completely. The tears which had been balancing on her lids finally traced their way down her cheeks. In a rush of emotion, Ava embraced Ash'eny, hugging him tightly. She began speaking to him in a voice strangled by sobs. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...Ash'eny...it's my all my fault...I shouldn't have pried! I'm supposed to be the strong one now, and yet you have to see me like this. Did you know I made a promise to myself not to cry in front of others? Do you think I'm a bad person, breaking my own promise?" The woman didn't wait for the man to answer, but instead took a deep, shuddering breath. Her voice was softer this time, as if she didn't realize that she was speaking aloud. "This wasn't how this was supposed to be. You were supposed to tell me something insignificant, and then I'd tell you I didn't care and that I loved you too much. Then everyone would live happily ever after. But that only happens in storybooks. In real life people cry, cheat, hate and die. That's the worst, I think, dying. Especially when you have to watch someone else do it. And you watch them "wither" in front of your eyes, like some sort of flower, as they fade more and more. First they stop eating as much, and then they start getting this stiffness in the way they move. Eventually they stop walking, and stay in bed. Then they stop talking, stop moving all together, and you know that they aren't eating or sleeping because you're beside them the whole time. And finally, they get this look in their eyes, like they can see something that isn't there, like they're already half dead. And at that point you know there's no hope because they'll die within the day. The gods are cruel that way. The least they can do is make death come faster."
Avalona continued to cry, sobbing occasionally, and was to afraid to pull back, lest Ash'eny see her in that state. Eventually, the tears subsided, and the woman was left to wonder what Ash'eny would say next.
As the sun colors flowers, so does art color life.
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