Closed Return Visit (Waisana)

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Timestamp: 13th Day of Summer, 514, AV Seirei longed for rain. As a child travelling with her trade caravan, rain was the bane of ite existence. Mud made for difficult travel with the wagons, and it got into absolutely everything. Not to mention the discomfort of being constantly damp. But right now, Seirei couldn't wait for it to rain. The rain would hopefully cool things down for a while. Even more importantly, it would be good for the slowly dwindling water sources near the city. Even though summer had just started, people were worried about water shortages. Already, a mandatory water ration had been declared a few days ago. And every time Seirei left the tent, she heard people talking about their fears for the future. If the water sources were starting to run low now, what would things be like as the summer progressed? What if the rains didn't come at all? The heat certainly didn't help the way Seirei felt, either. It made her irritable on top of already being incredibly moody for no reason Seirei could see...or at least none that she wanted to admit to. Waisana asked me if I was more emotional than usual when she examined me a few weeks ago. I'd say that being this moody is definitely unusual for me... she thought uneasily. The intense nausea that plagued her every morning hadn't abated yet either. If anything, it had gotten worse. It wasn't only mornings now. And even the slightest whiff of some scents was enough to set her stomach to roiling uneasily. She got tired easily as well. She often had to rest after doing something as simple was working with wood. Some days were bad enough that she found herself needing a nap like a young child. Lian had taken to looking at her strangely several times a day, and waking her up any time he found her napping. But the most disturbing thing was that her period still hadn't come. Seirei couldn't let her think about it often because whenever she did, she would succumb to hysterical fear about what it might mean. Maybe I should go see Waisana again. She did say to come in after the tenth, and it is. I just don't know if three days after the tenth is enough time or not. After a few minutes internal debate, Seirei decided that it didn't matter. Waisana didn't specify a particular date. So if it was too soon, the healer could simply tell her to come back another time. With that decided, Seirei left the tent. As soon as she walked outside, the heat hit her like a stone wall. What little relief the shade of the tent provided was gone. People nearby moved about quickly on their business. It was obvious that no one wanted to be outside the dubious shelter of a tent for longer than they had to. Seirei couldn't blame them; neither did she. Seirei walked briskly as she made her way to the Healing Tents. The heat made her feel sluggish and tired, but the promise of shade and the slightly cooler air inside a tent kept her moving at a brisk pace. Once at the Healing tents, Seirei slowly made her way through the crowd, searching for her friend. Many of the people going about their business seemed to be in bad moods, and Seirei could only assume that the heat was affecting them, too. Finally, after several chimes of searching, Seirei found someone who knew where Waisana was. She thanked them politely for giving her directions. Then she followed those directions carefully. When Seirei saw Waisana, she smiled as she greeted the healer. "You asked me to come back after the 10th. I hope that this isn't too soon? Or if you're busy, I could come back another time?" Seirei asked uncertainly. Part of Seirei simply wanted to know one way or another if she was pregnant or not. The uncertainty was painful. But part of her really didn't want to know. That part of her feared the answer. Even this awful uncertainty was better than knowing for certain that her captor's seed had taken root within her.

[Waisana]

This was not a good working environment. The heat had made things unpleasantly difficult. Not only was it a torment to be out of the shelter but everyone was affected by it, even in what could be loosely termed the shade. Sweat glands were in overdrive, secreting liquid that could't be replaced as quickly as it was lost. The water rationing that had been brought in meant that washing had fallen down in the list of priorities. Hydration came first and so personal hygiene was somewhat lacking right now. All of the healers were left feeling grimy, only permitted to wash their hands and wrists so as not to spread disease and infection. The supply was used carefully, frugally, to make sure that none of it was wasted. It meant that everyone was short tempered, even Waisana who was usually more even tempered.

The heat was causing an influx of patients but not all of them needed the attention of a healer. Some people had fainted, others had become dehydrated when they'd wasted their water ration on washing, coming to the Opal tents to get something to drink and enjoy the best of both worlds. Resources were spread thinly enough without people wasting their time and their water. Some had fainted and sustained injuries, something that the teen didn't blame them for but those who fainted from the heat and came to them with nothing wrong with them irritated her. It meant that the tents were even more crowded than usual which did nothing for her shortened temper.

The girl had been flitting between different people, trying to determine which ones had reason to be here and to get the ones who didn't have reason to be there to leave. There was so little organisation that the healers didn't know who had even been checked and it took a while for Waisana to even notice that there were some people who came back after they'd been sent away. It left her exasperated as she moved from potential patient to potential patient, questioning them and checking vitals before directing them one way or the other. Some weren't that cooperative, leading her in circles when she tried to question them.

"Let's try this again. Why are you here?" the teen asked between gritted teeth, her gestures impatient. "You've said that you've been feeling sick. Then you told me that you had pains. I've checked you over and can find nothing wrong with you. Is there something actually wrong or are you wasting my time?" The young boy in front of her fidgeted, clutching his stomach and complaining. The Drykas girl had no idea if he was faking or not. He'd chosen an ailment that she couldn't actually check for. She decided that fear might be a good way to get at the truth.

Grabbing his arm, she pointed to where the herbs were kept. "If you really are sick then I'll bring you over there and I'll give you something. It'll make you vomit until whatever is making you feel sick is gone, sound good?" she asked him, tugging him a little in that direction. He resisted the tug, pulling back against her. "No! Wait! I don't want to get sick! Please wait!" he yelped, horror on his face. The teen gave him a hard look. "Are you actually sick?" He hesitated then shook his head emphatically. She let go of him, pushing him towards the tent entrance. "If there's nothing wrong with you then get out of here and stop wasting my time!"

The appearance of someone else at her side, made her turn, her words a bark of Pavi accompanied with a vicious hand movement before she saw who it was. "Oh what do you wa- oh!" Her cheeks flushed as her eyes fell upon Seirei and her hands dropped to her sides as she switched to Common. "Seirei! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. Bad day. I'm not too busy for you. At least I know that you aren't going to waste my time. Come on. I'll examine you," she replied, smiling apologetically as she gestured for the young woman to follow her.

She made her way through the crowd, hoping that Seirei could keep up, and slipped into a free partitioned area.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei's eyes widened in shock, and she started badly at Waisana's angry burst of Pavi. She had been caught so off guard that she had to struggle to understand what she had said. The vicious hand sign was completely lost on Seirei, but by the viciousness of the movement, she guessed that it must convey great anger. She was just about to babble an apology and promise to come back at a later time when Waisana flushed. Confusion held Seirei silent for a moment. Why would her friend be embarrassed by her anger? Then Waisana switched to Common, and apologized for snapping at her. Seirei murmered a soft acceptance, and quickly followed Waisana into the partioned area. "I'm sorry. I should have realized that you'd be a lot busier with this heat." she said softly. "It's just...well, you did say to come back after the 10th. And...and I'm still...I haven't...I'm still late. That can't be a good sign. I still get sick a lot, too. It's not just mornings anymore, but it is worse then. There are times that even just the smell of food is enough to make me sick. I never seem to have any energy at all now, but I think this heat has something to do with that, though. I'm still really moody, too. All the time. There's nothing even remotely funny about being Lian's captive, but sometimes I just burst out laughing for no reason at all. Or crying. I try to hide it from him, but I know that he's noticed. He stares at me sometimes. Like he's trying to figure me out. That, or he thinks I've gone insane. Maybe I have. It certainly feels like I have sometimes. I even screamed at him once. I woke up one morning, and he was just staring at me. Watching me. He does that a lot. I hate it, but usually I know better than to say anything. But this time, I...I just lost it. I thought he was going to punish me for sure. But he didn't. He just stared at me in shock for several chimes. Then he said he was going out to hunt." Seirei babbled anxiously. Seirei took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. It didn't help much, but at least it steadied her enough that she could stop babbling like an idiot.

[Waisana]

She'd frightened the girl although she hadn't meant to do so. Seirei had seen a side of her that rarely made an appearance and Waisana doubted that it had been a welcome insight into the darker side of her personality. She followed her silently and the healer hoped that it was just the noise of the crowd and the potential eavesdroppers that were putting her off speaking. She could only hope that she hadn't frightened the girl into silence. She wasn't even sure if that would be an appropriate reaction for Seirei. She really needed to get to know the girl better. Perhaps if the captive ended up helping the healer, the two would get to know each other better. Perhaps they could even have fun by doing something outside of the tents.

When they were behind the partition and Seirei began to talk, Waisana breathed a sigh of relief. After the mumbled reply before, she'd been left worrying. She needn't have however as the captive quickly engaged in what was becoming her normal nervous babble. The healer waited patiently to get a word in, the pause for breath an inevitable thing. She listened along, gleaning what information she could from the torrent of words. She was still late. She'd been late when the teen had last examined her and that had been how long ago? Pale brow creased as she tried to remember a rough date. Had it been about 20 days ago or so? If that was the case then it didn't look good. She'd been late long enough to worry and come to her in the first place so it seemed that pregnancy was a definite possibility. That'd be the biggest indicator but her other symptoms had continued as well. The sickness, the fatigue, the moodiness. Her behaviour sounded as if she was hormonal. An exam might not even be necessary but maybe it was better to be safe.

"It's okay, Seirei. I said it's fine. I didn't mean to snap but I'm fed up with people wasting my time. That's something that I've been putting up with a lot. I didn't know that it was you or else I wouldn't have bitten your head off," the Drykas explained. She examined her hands briefly, checking for surface dirt. Her hands felt sweaty but that was all. They were clean enough for what she needed to do. "I'll examine you now. It'll be like before but I'll keep it as short as I can. Once I have all the information I need, I'll tell you what condition you're in." She was likely pregnant. Lateness for this long was unlikely and the girl wasn't horribly underweight. She'd heard that women who grew too thin stopped having periods. Seirei wasn't one of them though although she wished that she was. Weight could be put back on after all with little trouble. She was sure that the girl could live with that but pregnancy?

The teen decided that now might be the time to provide a distraction as the exam took place. It might not start off pleasantly but hopefully Seirei would warm to it. "So... Lian came to see me. He wanted to pay me for looking after you and I... might have come to an arrangement with him, although it does depend on you. Perhaps he told you already." She paused, getting the negative part over with first. She was sure that the mention of Lian would be unwelcome, especially now but it had to be said. "His suggestion was... tempting, probably because it doesn't involve him directly. He thought that you might be able to assist me. You could learn some basic medicine and herbalism and you would get out of his pavilion. It wouldn't just be spending your time in the healing tents. We could go riding to gather herbs or just spend the day together. He'd never have to know what we do. What do you think?" the healer explained, her tone hopeful.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei nodded when Waisana explained why she was out of sorts. It was perfectly reasonable. The heat would make anyone irritable. Waisana must have been very busy dealing with people coming in with heat related injuries and illnesses...real, or otherwise. Seirei felt she should have realized this sooner, and waited longer so she wouldn't inconvenience the healer. Or at least she should have known that Waisana would be overworked, and likely irritable. Seirei nodded again when Waisana told her she would examine her again. She would follow instructions obediently, making it as easy as she could for the other woman. Seirei was terrified of what she would learn. She really didn't know if she could bear to give birth to a child forced upon her against her will. She knew that it wasn't the child's fault if she was pregnant, but she didn't know if she could be as strong as her mother had been, and love a child that had been created in an act of violence. But even as terrified as she was of what the examination might reveal, a part of Seirei just wanted the uncertanity to be over. In some ways, that was worse than knowing...one way or the other. Waisana began speaking to her, and it was a welcome distraction. Seirei was greatful for something else to focus on. Her first reaction on learning that Lian and Waisana had "come to an arrangement" involving her was surprise, anxiety, and very real hurt. Her eyes widened, and she tensed, fearing to hear what the "arrangement" would be. But when Waisana told her that whether whatever it was happened or not depended on her, Seirei relaxed somewhat as relief washed over her. It allowed her to listen to what the arrangement involved with an open mind. When the healer asked her what she thought about the arrangement, Seirei smiled shyly. "I would like that a lot." she said softly. Her voice, though soft, conveyed happiness, and relief. "I really would." Whether Lian had meant to or not, he had given Seirei something that she desperately wanted. Time away from him was always good. She already had a lot of that, though since he spent a lot of time out hunting, or doing whatever he did when he said he was hunting. Seirei neither knew nor cared so long as he wasn't near her. But she knew so little about the city she now had to live in. She spent most of her time working with wood. And while she enjoyed it, it wasn't doing much to help her learn what she would need to know if she ever hoped to escape. Working with Waisana, though...that might help her learn things she would need to know. More than that, she liked Waisana. Spending time with her could be fun. It would be nice to get to know the healer better. "If we do go to gather herbs, we'd have to walk, though. I'm afraid that I don't know how to ride. When I was with my caravan, I always rode in the wagon with my mother." Seirei admitted, blushing a little. Seirei knew from her father that riding was as important as breathing to the Drykas. At least, he had always made it sound that way. So she knew that Waisana might well think she was lacking since she didn't know how to ride. Yet. It was one of many things that she wanted to learn how to do.

[Waisana]

Waisana had an idea of what needed to be done and so her examination was as quick as she promised. The girl's breasts were checked once more searching for any of the early changes that took place. They weren't as bruised as they'd been the last time but they'd still be tender. If she was pregnant then they'd be tenderer still. The medic wasn't certain if they felt differently beneath her hands than they had the last time. On close examination she found that Seirei wasn't as skinny as the Drykas had assumed. She hadn't lost weight from stress but seemed to have put a bit on. Her breasts might have been a little bigger but that could have been imagination. The amount of flesh on her stomach and sides wasn't though and a gentle and careful pinch seemed to indicate that she had indeed gained a few pounds rather than losing them. Weight came with pregnancy but then maybe the woman was eating better now.

The examination went lower down again, the bruised state of the captive's genitals still managing to elicit a wince. Still red rather than pink as well as swollen... no, more puffy. The teen sighed before getting to her feet again. Everything was certainly adding up and to one thing only. She didn't want to get into it straight away, there was no rush and at the very least she could talk to the girl a little and be her friend before being her doctor. That meant discussion of the arrangement that she'd made with Lian.

A gentle smile was offered and a kind touch on the shoulder. "You can dress up. I'm glad you want to spend time with me outside of here. I'm not so..." she searched for the word, grasping for adjectives in Common, "...official? No, I don't think that's it but it's something kind of like it. I don't do this all of the time. Most of the time but not all." Silence fell between them as Waisana tried to work out what to say next. Herb gathering and horse riding, that'd do.

"I could teach you. How to ride a horse. Taught a Myrian once but... I'm not very good. Maybe Lian..." she trailed off. She doubted that Seirei wanted to hear her suggestion. She couldn't believe that she'd been about to suggest it either but then she had challenged the man to try to get to know his captive a bit better. That would never happen unless they were willing to interact together so why not horse riding? That was assuming that he was willing to make the effort with Seirei of course. If he wasn't then Waisana could be her only instructor. That'd go really well.

The blonde moved away, crossing her arms over her chest. There was no point putting it off any longer. "You really are pregnant as far as I can tell. I think you've even put on a bit of weight, particularly around her belly. If you've been with child since... the middle of spring then it's not normal. Can happen that early for some but not everyone. Nothing wrong though, not bad. Could be longer. You seem healthy though." The medic allowed that much to sink in. "Do you have any questions? Anything you want to know?"

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei held as still as she could during the brief exam, cooperating as much as possible. But she was unable to suppress the occasional wince or flinch when the healer's gentle hands found an especially tender spot. And she was very greatful when it was over. When Waisana seemed to have difficulty choosing the right word in Common, Seirei wanted to help. The healer had done a lot for her, and Seirei thought of her as a friend. But what was the right word? Formal? It was similar in meaning to official, but in context with the rest of the wonam's words, it didn't seem to fit, either. Busy? That seemed to fit better in context, but busy and official meant two completely different things. "Do you mean formal...? Seirei suggested after a few ticks. "But that doesn't doesn't quite fit either. I know what you mean, though. You don't work all the time." Seirei offered with a smile. Waisana's next words delighted Seirei, and her smile brightened. "I would love to learn from you!" she said excitedly. But...Lian...? Teach her how to ride? Seirei shuddered fearfully at that thought. No, she didn't think that the man would be willing to teach her anything. And she wasn't about to risk asking, either. The less time she spent in the man's presence, the better as far as she was concerned. Seirei grew quiet and pensive when Waisana confirmed her worst fears; that yes, she was pregnant. The unasked question of whether it was possible to do something to...lose the child flickered within her wide eyes. But so did the uncertainty that she even wanted to take that option if she could. It wasn't the child's fault, after all. And what right did she have to end a life? "What can I expect...?" she managed to ask at last, her voice wavering with the intensity of her deeply troubled emotions. "How long will I be sick? And the strange moods...? Or getting tired even when I don't do much...? What else...? How...I don't know..." Seirei shook her head helplessly. Her hands trembled at her sides. She didn't even know what she should ask. She wanted to know everything that she needed to know about being pregnant, but she didn't know where to begin. She couldn't even trust herself to speak much as her fear and dismay rose up in her throat, threatening to choke her.

[Waisana]

The teen tried to be careful but she knew that causing a bit of pain was unavoidable considering her condition. She grimaced sympathetically every time the other girl winced. It was a relief to have it over with so that she didn't have to cause the girl any more physical pain. It was a shame that she couldn't give her some pleasant news as well so that she could have some peace of mind to go with it.

Seirei tried to help her find the right word but the one she offered didn't sound quite right to her. "Not formal, no. Like it but not. P-puh... no, pr-pru- I don't know. Not important," she muttered, frustration showing on her face. There was a word and it felt like it was just out of her reach whatever it was. At least the captive understood what she'd meant, even if she hadn't been able to come up with the word.

The brightness of the other's smile was contrasted horribly with the way she shrank from the idea of learning from Lian. She really didn't like the man and Waisana couldn't blame her for it. The man was her tormentor and she didn't want to spend any more time with him than necessary. Putting her trust into his hands for anything at all would be difficult for her. Lian had said that he would make an effort to get to know the girl, to treat her better but either he'd made any attempts as of yet or else she didn't believe his change in behaviour. The Opal teen didn't want to force them together but this couldn't be a one sided attempt on her captor's part. She had to be willing to interact with him and he wanted her to become Drykas so what better opportunity to work things out than through riding lessons? Anybody would be better than the doctor where teaching to ride was concerned. Lian was as good a candidate as any, even if Waisana did dislike him.

Worse than the reaction to the suggestion of learning from Lian was the one that appeared when her pregnancy was confirmed. There was no exclamation of horror or any sound at all. She looked thoughtful and there was a flash in her eyes, a question that went unvoiced. She looked imploringly at her as if she wanted to know something but didn't want to say it. Waisana had some dark suspicions concerning that look, something that Seirei was uncertain of as well. The teen wasn't going to consider that the captive was thinking of bringing harm to the child. To do so she'd need the Opal's help and she wouldn't do harm, she'd rather die first than do anything so horrible.

The spoken questions she could deal with, even if they were a little muddled. "The first season of time is rough. After that things get better. You may not always be sick. Your moods will be up and down. Your breasts will change and your back will hurt, your feet too later. You will get bigger but you will know that already. You won't be able to hide that," the teen explained. The warning had been given. She couldn't hide her pregnancy forever and what that meant was that Lian was going to find out sooner rather than later. Seirei couldn't lie and neither could she.

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei listened intently to Waisana's words. The first season of her pregnancy would be hard. She "might" not always be sick. But that suggested that there was a possibility that she would be, too. Her back would hurt, and so would her feet. Seirei wondered darkly if she would feel miserable from now until she got rid of the invader inside her. Her breasts would change, and that would likely hurt, too. Her moods...well, it sounded as though her changing moods would be the least of her problems. Seirei wanted to scream in denial. She wanted to weep with despair. She wanted to throw an all out temper tantrum worthy of any little kid. She did none of these things. Partly because it simply wasn't in her nature to do so. But it was also partly because Waisana had given her something to think about. Two things, actually. The first was a very reassuring thought. While the first season would be bad, things would get better after that. Seirei had learned patience when she was very young, and it would pay off now. She was also used to living with pain and discomfort. Having to endure Lian forcing himself on her at least once a day ever since she had been captured had taught her that. She could endure this, as well. She would wait this out, and hopefully it really would get better. There was another thing to consider as well. It tied into the other thing Waisana had told her. Seirei was going to get bigger. There was no getting around that. Sooner or later...probably sooner...she wasn't going to be able to hide her pregnancy from Lian. Maybe that was a good thing. Seirei hated the fact of Lian finding out that she was pregnant. In some ways, it felt as though he had won. He had in a very real sense - he had succeeded in getting her pregnant. Seirei feared that he would gloat, and make her feel even more miserable once he knew that he had succeeded. There was also the real fear that her illusion of freedom would vanish when her captor found out that she was pregnant. And yet...Waisana was right. She couldn't hide her pregnancy forever. His learning the truth might even have a positive effect. Lian was raping her daily in the attempt to get her with child. Would he leave her alone once he learned that he had succeeded? Seirei desperately hoped that that would be the case. Seirei nodded in acknowledgement of Waisana's words. "How..." Seirei's voice failed her as feelings of despair overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes for a tick, took a deep breath, and tried again. "How does this work...?" Her question was impossibly vague, and she knew it. But she didn't know what she needed to ask, and her mind refused to provide her with the words she needed to use to ask. It made sense that she would seek the aid of a healer if she felt that something was going wrong with her pregnancy...but how would she know? What should she look for? Would she give birth by herself when the time came, or would a healer need to be there? How would she know? Now that she knew she was pregnant, was that it? Did she need to see a healer at certain times during her pregnancy? Seirei's hands fluttered uncertainly, flickering through several signs betraying her confusion, and how helpless she felt about her entire situation.

[Waisana]

The healer allowed her words to sink in. She'd given the girl a lot to think about and there was no use in trying to rush her. This was a serious matter and Waisana had told her the truth as uncomfortable it might be. The situation for the captive was already bad but what Seirei had ahead of her would no doubt a whole new layer of terror to her ordeal. Lying wouldn't have helped though. Aside from the fact she would have done a terrible job of lying, there was also the simple fact that it was better for the prospective mother to know what was ahead of her. It was pointless to tell her that everything would be okay, only for her to discover further down the line that that was far from the case. At least this way the girl had time to prepare herself for the worsening of her symptoms. If her pregnancy turned out to be an easy one with things improving over time then that would be a relief and far better than her getting an unpleasant shock if the gestation proved to be the reverse.

The captive tried to put forward a question, mouth shaping words before she'd really given enough thought to what she wanted to ask. The Drykas teen waited patiently, offering the younger girl smile of reassurance, trying to let her know that there was no rush and that she should take her time. There was no need to hurry into things. It was quite a lot of information to process after all.

The girl was clearly too flustered to finish the query that she'd begun, her hands betraying her helplessness, which was close enough to a plea for help. Waisana couldn't leave her floundering but at the same time she wanted to give her some agency in the business of answers.Best to offer her some pieces of information and give her the choice from there of exactly what she wanted to know.

"We'll focus on one thing at a time, okay? You'll have to come back for a check up in about a season with more regular checkups from then on. You only have to worry about things between now and a season's time. I'll still be here to answer questions and I can tell you more when you next see me but you can ask me whatever you like now and ask me again later if you need to, I don't mind repeating myself," she assured the girl before continuing, "Do you want to know more about how your body will change in the pregnancy? What you should be doing? Do you want to know about the birthing or what will happen after the baby is born? If you want to talk about far in the future then that is all right."

Waisana had already warned the captive that her condition couldn't be hidden from Lian but that didn't mean that Seirei would want to tell her captor that he had gotten his own way. As much as the healer disliked the man, she was willing to take whatever measures would make her patient's life easier and less stressful, especially in this important time. So she made a tentative offer, in spite of the unpleasantness it might bring upon her. "Would you like it if I told Lian about your... situation? I wouldn't have to do it straight away but would that be better for you? Is it something you'd like?"