Solo [Memorial Cemetery]Ruminations

[Halin'a]

30 Summer, 514AV It was a rare free night, and Halin'a's Ethaefal form didn't want-- or need-- sleep. He could wander the city, as he had so many nights before, but tonight, he had specific destination in mind. It wasn't one that he was visiting to mourn a lost loved one-- although, maybe in a way, he was. Halin'a was going to the cemetery. He took his time traveling, and the few people who looked at him appraisingly were quickly put off by the scimitar hanging from his side. That, and Halin'a's imposing size and his horns. As a child of Leth, Halin'a was somewhat of an oddity, but he thought he saw recognition spark in more than a few eyes-- it wasn't exactly uncommon knowledge that Madame Zana had hired a son of Leth to work in her brothel. Still, Halin'a didn't stop to talk. He had a reaosn for being out tonight. By the time Halin'a reached the memorial and cemetery, Leth was at his height. He wasn't surprised to see that the Koi vendor was still there, and he handed over eight gold mizas for a large, multi-colored koi fish, which he took to the pond. He released it with a silent, thoughtless prayer, more emotion than anything else. Halin'a stayed on his knees at the edge of the pond for several chimes, simply letting his mind clear and allowing himself to drift; not into sleep, but into his own mind. He allowed himself to think back on his previous lives-- both the one with Leth and the one before that. His life with Leth had been the closest thing to perfect that he could possibly imagine. Safe in the realm of his god, Halin'a had little to worry about. Even when his sisters and brothers started to fall through the cracks that had appeared during the Valterrian, Halin'a had not worried-- he would not fall; that was a horror story that always happened to another soul. The problem was, to someone else, he was "another soul." Carelessness had led to Halin'a's literal fall, and for fifty-seven years, Halin'a had lived another life on Mizahar, a life he should not have lived yet. The life before that, however, had been far from perfect. Halin'a had lived as a young human, also in Zeltiva-- though none would remember him now, not more than a century later. His family had been poor, and that had led to a shortage of funds for medicine when first his father, and then his mother, had fallen sick in the middle of one severe winter. Halin'a(he could not remember what his name had been then) had been orphaned, and with few skills besides a knack for going unnoticed, had resorted to petty theft. Pickpocketing a few mizas here and there, just enough for each meal, and sleeping in alleys, his life had gone from poor to pathetic. In the end, he'd stolen from the wrong person, and found himself thrown into the harbor at less than fifteen summers old, unable to swim. His next memory after the water closing in over his head was meeting Dira and being led to Leth's domain. Sighing to himself, Halin'a pushed himself back to his feet; Leth still ruled the sky, and he still didn't want to go home and spend the remaining hours alone in his small apartment-- he would rather spend the hours alone in the cemetery. Morbid, yes, but there was something peaceful about cemeteries; Halin'a had always found comfort in them.

[Halin'a]

As Halin'a made his way through the cemetery, he was careful not to make more noise than necessary. It felt disrespectful somehow, as if he were disturbing the rest of those who had been laid in the ground. Logically, Halin'a knew that there were few ghosts here, and that the spirits of those who had been laid to rest here were living their new lives; he could not disturb them. Still, Halin'a found himself avoiding the rougher ground and stepping over and around other rocks. As he walked, Halin'a glanced occasionally at the night sky; it was fairly clear, with few clouds obstructing the view of the stars or moon. After a few chimes, the son of Leth came to a bench, and he carefully sat down on it, his head tipped back and his eyes closed, simply letting himself bask in the soft moon and starlight. As he sat, Halin'a let his mind drift. It didn't land on any specific thoughts; instead, it simply floated, much like the koi that he had released earlier in the night. His memories made up the pool, and Halin'a was the fish simply gliding through them. He remembered bits and pieces of his previous two lives; memories from his previous time in Zeltiva, his time as a young human, made him sad, but those memories of his time in Leth's realm made him feel... balanced. He had known happiness, in the realm of his god, and he knew that not many could claim that honor. And yet, the saying was true: All good things must come to an end. Halin'a's end had certainly come more quickly than he had ever thought it would, but he could not honestly say that this life was so bad. True, he used his body to make a living, but he had no lover, no one that he felt had first claim to his body besides himself. There was no shame in what he did; he did not allow others to abuse it, and he was the only one who decided who had access to his body. It certainly was not a life Halin'a would ever have imagined himself living, those few times he'd thought about what he might experience if he were reborn again. He had thought that perhaps he would be a trader, or a scholar. Maybe a warrior or sailor-- but certainly not one of those who provided physical release to those same warriors and sailors. But then again, perhaps Lhex had a plan for the Ethaefal; perhaps there was a reason that he had fallen, and that the only thing he had skill in was giving pleasure. Some days, it was the only thing keeping Halin'a from going insane.