The Contemplations of Arima

[Arima]

30th, Fall, 502

I'm cold. Not like I feel cold, because I don't. I mean inside. Does that make sense? Like my soul is scared. That kind of cold. A kind of cold that can only be described as frozen in fear. I don't like it either. Not even Hyne, the emotional one, gets scared. Is there something wrong with me?...

Maybe I should explain. I'm not scared for myself- I'm scared for Nuelle. She's so fragile, and seeing her hurt like that... She's about my age, maybe a little older, so that's scary. She's only seven-ish, but seeing her so wounded, I fear she won't be living to see eight years. I know I've never talked about her before here, because I met her today. It started this morning. Just like everyday, I was out doing my daily Bendis. I'm always given the one in the underground forest- helping take with Wind Eagle manure and spreading it on the forest floor to help it fertilize, or to pick fruits from good spots. It doesn't bother me, not to mention I'm not the only Yasi to do these chores. The other kids have to do it too, eventually. But today I felt sick and in pain, in a way that I was almost passing out, so I was sent back to the nursery. On my walk back I heard a noise- it sounded painful and sad. So, I followed it.

I had no idea what part of the Underground Forest I was in. The plants were confusing and so spread out and diverse you couldn't ever tell. Especially if you left the paths worn in, which I did. I did see a few interesting plants, one of which looked like a large, spiked vine that I think might have been an animal, due to the way it moved without any wind. But as I thought I was too lost to find where the noise came from, I heard it again and looked down at my feet.

There was a lot of green, soft, fuzzy stuff around her. When I reached down though, it was sharp. Almost like each blade of the moss-like plant was a needle. No wonder she was in pain, she was laid flat out with them poking into her. I think it was poisonous. But when I knelt down to look her over, I noticed something really cool- we have the same colored eyes. I thought I was the only one with gold eyes, but she has them too. It's awesome. My caregiver told me that the color eyes I have means I lived a past life as a Wind Eagle. I wonder if Nuelle lived a past life as an Inartan.

Anyways, I forgot all about my own pain and went to try to pick her up. But she was so fragile, I was worried about hurting her or pressing the wrong spot. But when my finger touched her soft head, it was like a little voice inside of me saying to put my hand under her neck, the other under her lower back and lift. It wasn't easy, let me tell you that, and I stumbled a lot, but it was a good idea. Her limbs seemed to pull themselves close enough to her I didn't need to worry about that, so I held her close to me and ran back to the colony.
At first I wasn't sure who to turn to. I didn't know anyone who was skilled in healing methods for something of this, and I was scared to bring her back to her own- they might make her fend for herself. So as I got closer to my people, I decided to head to the Enclave. The scholars would be better educated and know how to handle this- any of us in the Yasi caste really don't know what to do with this situation, we're all still underage.

The Enclave is a beautiful cave. We don't have a lot of educational sites, and this is really the only place with books and such, but it is amazing. Like all of your “buildings” we dig into Mt. Skyinarta to make the areas we need, and this one is one of the biggest besides the commons. I'm not technically old enough to be studying and getting educated yet, but I like to hang out in the library- I've learned to write, as I can tell by writing this now. Either way, the scholars and educators there are compassionate, and considering Nuelle and her situation, I knew they would take care of her. As I got to the archway of the cove and headed in (thank Goddess there's no doors) I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I've never seen someone come in holding someone this wounded before, so I probably would have stared too. But someone must have alerted a scholar because soon I was bombarded with them and being taken this way and Nuelle was pried from me and it was a big cloud of chaos.

What I remember the most from that first five minutes was the amount of anxiety I could sense from Nuelle. She seemed so scared, like as if she expected to be killed on the spot for being useless. Her eyes stayed on me until she was taken away. I was taken away too, because they wanted to know what happened. I told them exactly what I saw and how I found her, and after we spoke I begged them to let me see her. Kami told me that I might be able to later, but for now to let them take care of her and get her on the way to recovery. She also told me I did a good job by bringing her here- apparently they were the ones who took care of cases like these.

Well now it's been about three hours since I last saw Nuelle. I really hope she's okay, I'm scared she isn't. I'm just laying here in my bed and thinking, “is she going to be okay?” because she was really, really bad when I found her. I mean the needle things weren't the only wounds. When we were walking I saw something strange- her feet. They were broken, both of them, and some of her bones looked out of place. Considering how hollow and fragile her type of species is, it's a scary thought, because it'll be hard for that to heal. Plus, the needle thing made her bleed. And I mean a lot more than I thought at first. I'd say she lost half of her blood just going from the forest to the Enclave. I hope I didn't take too long getting her help...

My mind keeps thinking about our eyes. Exact same type of golden color, like as if the gold was melting. Maybe we've crossed paths before in past lives, because she seemed very familiar. Thinking back on it, I shouldn't have heard her voice. Not to mention the pain was gone once I found her. Is there a possibility we could have bonded in past lives, and even now we still are? Is that even possible? And if it is possible, and it is true, what caused us to split ways I wonder? So many questions...

One thing is for sure. I've never known someone to bond before they went from Yasi to either Chiet or Avora caste, so this is indeed a special scenario. And by special, I mean weird, abnormal... I just hope it won't end with her not recovering. She's like my other half, my companion. That's what I feel around her- safe, secure, and complete. I should speak to an Endal, they're bonded too and would be able to tell me if that's how it feels. I hope so.

I don't know why the name Nuelle came up. I did some research and it means “spirit”. Odd huh? I think she may be an old spirit, having lived past lives. It was somewhat easy to tell. For her specific species, she's oddly colored- plus her eyes. She has these beautiful shades of brown, tan, and red. I thought the Imperials only had brown black and white, but she might be her own type. The red interests me because it's the same shade as my hair- a deep crimson. Plus she's so soft. Even though she's larger than I'd expect a seven year old to be, she's also semi-light, with the hollowed bones probably helping in that aspect. Look at me, rambling. I guess I just want her to be alright, because Wind Eagles are precious, and she is the best one of all of them.

I hope she's okay...I think I'll go check on her again.

~Arima

[Arima]

15th, Winter, 506

I turned 11 today. If it wasn't for Nuelle, I probably would have forgotten it. My birthday seems to always be just another day, like anyone else. Not something we always celebrate- unless that is, you turn 11. I'm finally considered an adult- no longer a Yasi. It's a good feeling. Nuelle woke me up rather brutally. I'm not sure which came first- the barrage of words I didn't quite understand, or the beak-to-stomach approach. I love her right to pieces but sometimes she can be a little annoying. Either way, she's amazing. When I woke up I turned over and looked at her. I think if she could smile, she would have been. She seemed just happy-go-lucky and it took me a few moments to realize why. When I did I can practically hear her laughing.

Well, as usual I braided my hair and then put it in the pony tail I always have. It's been getting pretty long, halfway down my back now. After I got my bryda on and my boots, Nuelle gave me a birthday present. I really wasn't expecting it. I knew were were close- almost one at some points- but I didn't realize she felt as connected as I did. She's my companion, and I mean that in every sense of the word. We have a bond that only death can break, and even then, we find each other years later. Just like we did in this life. But the gift was rather unexpected. She pulled out one of her secondary feathers and dropped it in my lap. At the same time she told me, "You should wear it proudly. You've earned it, young man."

I laughed. The first one yet to call me a young man, and it felt good. So I took one of my braids from my ponytail and undid it, weaving the feather in it this time around. Instead of redoing my ponytail, I let it hang over my shoulders. The look actually suits me well. After, I hugged her. It's an odd feeling, hugging a Wind Eagle. The feathers are soft, yet tough, and I see her as an equal- if not higher- being. Sometimes I feel under qualified to interact with such a beautiful creature, but she always reminds me that I'm not. After the whole feather exchange, she and I went to go start the Bendis of the day when one of the weaponsmiths, Jaryd, waved us over to speak with him. Obviously I went over and Nuelle followed- in the back of my mind I was wondering if he would ask me to intern or not. Because going under someone for training would bring me closer to the Avora caste- if not I'd have to deal with being a Chiet. And that was below my own standards- I am determined to be at the very least Avora, hopefully Endal someday..

He and I talked. I know a lot about weapons- talon swords, bows and arrows, daggers and knives, spears, even some types of exoctic weapons I've learned about. My favorite thing to make though are swords. I've always enjoyed the smithing of a weapon that can be so individualized, like it's eventual owner. I'd have to say I'm good at forging talon swords, it's kind of my thing.

Well, after talking for a bit he wanted to see my skills put to the test. I asked him to show me his equipment and tell me about his metal he uses- basic iron, and sometimes steel- and I set to work. The most annoying part of forging anything is just the basic steps- every once in a while you have to move back to a completed step because you messed up. I very much dislike the "punching" phase, adding indents and decor. I can do it- not very well -but I feel that's a waste of time. Why decorate a sword when all you're going to do is stab someone with it? Do you want to stain the design red? It confuses me.

Anyways, I made a rapier. It was about 40 inches long- just over a meter- and just under an inch in width. Personally I like talon swords better as a fighting weapon, but since I'm still not all that amazing at it, I thought I should try a simple weapon that I could do perfectly. I even engraved the blade with the word "Victory" on it. I hope whoever buys it doesn't mind. It took me a while to do that sword. It was nice to have him pitch in and hold the rapier in place as I used to sledge hammer to strike the metal- very convenient, actually. It was also nice of him to let me use his equipment. I did my best and got rewarded- he took me on as an apprentice. I'm very excited. After working with him for a while I'll have the basics under my belt, and hopefully know enough to get on my own in a shop run by me. Then I can enjoy being of Avora Caste..

It's very late, I need to rest. And Nuelle is getting restless and wants to go for a fly- it sounds relaxing actually. I think we'll soar through the night sky for a bit and then go to bed. I wonder if she'll go back to the Wind Eagle's nests tonight or not. Maybe she'll sleep with me- it's always warmer with her around. Her wings are like a furnace.

Anyways, goodnight.

~Arima

[Arima]

3rd, Spring, 508

A right awful day today. Sorry if my writing is a bit messed up, I have to use my left arm. It's annoying, but since the other one has a long gash up it, it's hard to do anything with it, without pain shooting through the right side of my body. Wanna know why? I'll tell you why.

Lori was an awful bitch today! I was minding my own business and she right out called me a cheater. She thinks I didn't earn my way from the Yasi to the apprenticeship, to my own store. Granted I just started my own store, but she has no right to say that. So I swung at her. I thought I'd teach her a lesson. It ended with both of us hurt. But in the end, I won. She left the fight muttering something of a curse at me, but I stayed standing until she walked off and then went and treated my arm. It's not bleeding anymore, it just hurts. She cut through the skin and some of the muscle, I'm surprised I didn't pass out from staring at it today.

I wonder sometimes if she's not the only one who thinks that. I just have a natural skill when it comes to smithing- my mother had it too. I'm by far not the best, but I'm not the worst by even farther. My talon swords are great. I mean I could spare to practice some of the spear heads, arrow heads and things of that nature, I'll agree with that. But my quality isn't as bad as she made it out to be. It's pretty stress resistant, I barely see someone coming back with a repair. I can repair them, but mostly I see one of the other weaponsmither's customers coming back to me and asking me to repair the weapon. And I do so. Sometimes I flaunt it but hey, I'm proud of my work. Though I really want to practice more with steel.

Even though my work is good and enjoyable, I want to do something better. I want Nuelle and I to be regarded with respect from everyone. I want us to be Endals... Wouldn't that be something? Join the other riders on a hunt. Enjoy the luxuries given to us, be given respect... That's the life I'm striving for. I know it's stupid to dream that, especially since it'll be hard to move up a class, but I do. I dream it every day and every night.

Recently one of my male friends asked me if anyone here has been catching my interest. I automatically said no. It seems many of the drudges have been spending time with my friends, and yet I haven't requested one. Is that odd? I just have no desire to do so, not even if they're willing. Maybe I'm just not into anyone, maybe I'm just happy with the companionship my friends, and my amazing Eagle Nuelle, provide. That's probably it, but it still makes me wonder if I should request one, just to see what it's like. Maybe I will..I probably won't, knowing myself.

Anyways I need to sleep. Nuelle is trying the knock my pencil from my hand and is telling me rest will heal my arm so that I can work again soon. I think my next few days will consist of selling my weapons and inspecting them, looking for ways to do better.

So, goodnight.


~Arima.

[Arima]

Last Day Of The Year - 513AV

I don't know why, but I always write something on the last day of the year. Even a short "This is how my year went" seems to satisfy me. I guess I can give the basics, recap the major points. It'll help me keep track. I always seem to have an awful perception of time, so it's kind of like keeping a calendar.

Earlier this year, probably in the first half of the first season, I went out by myself. I don't remember most of it, I was being stupid and rash, but I got lost and attacked. If it wasn't for Nuelle I might not be here. After that she's kept a watchful eye on me. The business hasn't been slow by a long shot. More traders have been getting my talon swords, even daggers and other weapons. I've been learning more customization techniques, which has been exciting.

The Enclave has been a place I've spent most of my summer in for some reason. I've been reading more, and I've learned a lot about the Wind Eagle anatomy and rehabilitation. Nuelle tested me, having my point things out on herself. She's a very good study buddy, seems to really encourage education. Also this summer, for the first time ever, I called on a drudge. I don't remember much of it, except I was angry and took my anger out on her. I didn't like the sex though. Neither have I enjoyed sex with a male drudge. I think I just don't want it. Or maybe I only do it when I'm mad. I don't know. Either way it doesn't matter.

I lost a few fist fights this late summer/early fall. Same person too. The first time they were just being annoying pricks, then the second time he tried to steal something. Though one of the other people here took it from him and returned it to me. It was a bit embarrassing, but I'm over it now. I try to keep my mind focused on the future. There's a yasi in the colony who seems not only lonely, but she looks like she might have some sort of smithing talents. I'm going to keep an eye on her, she's only 9, but I want to make sure I can offer her the same thing I was offered- if she's good enough.

Pretty much these past two seasons has been boring. Though I will say, Nuelle and I have done some serious stunt flying. It has been breath taking. One morning she got me up before the dawn, and we got up towards the clouds and watching the sun rise. A very surreal experience. She and I have such a great bond. I am truly thankful to have such a loyal, beautiful companion. Plus I have a few friends I talk to, and a good business. Life is pretty good. It was a good year.

~Arima.