Timestamp: 32nd Day of Summer, 514, AV Uneasy dreams stirred Seirei into waking. As awareness returned, she immediately wished it hadn't. Her entire body ached fiercely. Part of it was caused by the bruises and strains she'd gotten when she'd fought Lian the night before. Or tried to fight him, at least. It never helped, but somehow she just couldn't seem to give up her futile resistance when he forced himself on her. In addition to the pains that had become a normal part of Seirei's existence, her stomach ached dully. It was a pain she remembered well from a time when she had taken ill as a child. For just over a week, she had thrown up several times a day, barely keeping enough down to survive. To the young child, it had felt as though she was throwing up constantly, but looking back at it, Seirei realized that that had not been the case. The dull ache Seirei felt in her stomach now was the same one she had suffered through as a young child. It was caused by throwing up too often in a short amount of time. When she was sick as a child, she had vomited more times per day than she was now, but her illness had lasted only a little over a week. What she had now was morning sickness, which was likely to last until the fall, at least. More disturbing than the nausea, and the aching stomach that threatened to rebel at least once a day, were the circumstances that had caused the morning sickness. And it was those circumstances that truly terrified Seirei. She hated the fact that she was pregnant. It meant that Lian's seed had taken root deep within her...and that meant that he had won. Seirei tried to think of the child growing inside her as hers, not his. She really did. But it was a daily struggle, and one that she lost more than she won. The misery that she felt because of the pregnancy didn't help matters any. But if she allowed herself to dwell on her misery for too long, she would fall into depression. So she turned to the one thing she knew would lift her spirits - or at the very least, give her something else to focus on. I could make some more beads. They seem to be popular here. And twigs are fairly easy to come by. Any trade caravan that has a wood carver traveling with them is likely to have them. The bigger twigs make good practice material for whittling, and getting used to using some of the tools we need. Like gouges when you want to use them to make a dimple as part of your design. Now that the traders are back, I should be able to find a caravan that has some. And with luck, I will be able to trade for them rather than buying them outright. If not, I can probably get a good price for them. Seirei thought, already focused on the beads she wanted to make. Seirei looked around the tent, her eyes settling on her backpack. With care, she knelt down beside it. Standing and squatting too quickly made her dizzy sometimes now. She sang softly as she rummaged through her backpack. The song she sang was a familiar one. She and her mother had sung it often when she was young. It had a bright, lively tune, and was about a dog that had to decide whether it wanted a big piece of meat, or a big juicy bone. In the many verses of the song, the silly dog went back and forth between the two, unable to decide. In the end, the poor creature took too long to decide, and got neither. It was a silly song that made Seirei smile every time she heard it. While clearly nonsense, there was a lesson to be had; too much indecision was likely to leave one with nothing. It was a children's song, complete with moral, and lively, fun rhythm to drive the words home to the kids who heard it. As Seirei searched through her belongings, her voice rose and fell along with the playful melody. By the time Seirei had found what she was looking for, she was laughing so hard that tears filled her eyes. She didn't even know why she was laughing. She certainly didn't have anything to laugh about...and couldn't imagine ever being happy enough to laugh again. But something about the song she had sung struck her as so ridiculous that she simply couldn't help herself. It took Seirei a good several chimes to calm herself down once more. Her wildly fluctuating emotions was yet one more trial for her to endure. One more thing that was out of control in her life. Seirei's eyes darkened even as they filled with tears once more. This time with tears of sadness, anger, helplessness, and frustration. "What's wrong with me...?" she groaned as she fought for control once more. Control came, but it took several more chimes for Seirei to start feeling calm again. When she did, she looked down at the painted wooden spheres in her lap. Though they were supposed to be beads...and would have been, had Seirei remembered to drill holes in them before the wood had dried. But they were rather pretty all the same. And she had a use for some of them now. I thought about giving some of them to Waisana as a thank you for helping me with my arm last spring, and for letting me help her to "work" off my debt in Lian's place. I really owe her for giving me a good reason to get away from this tent a lot. But I don't know if she knows anything about making jewelry. I don't want to give her something she would have no use for. And I don't know how to wrap wire around them so they can be used in a necklace even without having holes in them. But maybe I can trade a few for the twigs I need now. It was a happy thought. Seirei carefully placed her beads in one of Lian's pouches. He wasn't around for her to ask if she could borrow it, and with luck, he would never need to know. He was out hunting again, and not likely to be back before she was. Just in case she needed it, she decided to bring a little money as well. It too went into the pouch. Then she was off. The heat was staggering. It hit Seirei like a sharp blow the moment she set foot outside the tent. The air was painfully dry. Just breathing it made her thirsty. There wasn't even a breeze to cool things down a little. Now I know why we came to Endrykas in the fall most of the time when I was with my caravan. Is it this dry every summer? Or is this drought unusual? she grumbled to herself as she walked. As Seirei made her way through the brightly colored tents, she walked briskly. Even though the heat made her feel sluggish, and reluctant to move about more than necessary, she knew that exercise was important for someone who was pregnant. She swung her arms back and forth at her sides as she walked. It seemed to her that that extra bit of movement might give her that much more benefit in the way of exercise, though she really didn't know for sure. It just seemed to make sense to her. If exercise was vigorous movement such as running, or walking briskly, then more vigorous movement, such as moving her arms would equal more exercise. The bright blue tents around Lian's tent gave way to bright red ones. In this section of the city, Seirei noticed that a lot of people were working on all sorts of different kinds of crafts outside their tents. Some people were working with clay. It was a medium Seirei had never worked with before. But some people in her caravan had, and she respected those who did. Beautiful things could be made out of clay; some purely decorative, and some as useful as they were beautiful. It was something that Seirei was very interested in learning about some day. Other people were taking advantage of the bright light to weave. Baskets, clothing, and other things. Although making clothes held little interest for Seirei, weaving baskets did. These people were using grass, but Seirei thought it would be possible to make very thin strips of wood, and weave those, too. Still others looked like they might be building wagons. Seirei couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if she had been captured by a member of this clan. She hated being a captive...a slave, with everything that she was. And she knew that that would never change. But there would be some common ground with a fellow craftsman even if the craft itself was different. A mutual respect for the hard work involved in pursuing one's craft. Would that common ground, that mutual respect be enough to make captivity bearable? Seirei wasn't sure. But she hated and feared Lian more than she hated or feared anyone else. Ever. But if she liked her captor...or at the least had some common ground and respect for them. If they showed her the same respect...it might help. Had her "rescue" truly been a rescue, and had her rescuer given her time to get to know them, even to like them, and then asked if she would bear them a child to repay the debt of being rescued, Seirei might well have agreed. Especially if they had explained why they needed more children. She didn't hate all things Drykas, after all. Her own father was a Drykas, and she considered Waisana to be a friend. But things weren't different. They were what they were, and Seirei couldn't allow herself to dwell on the reality of her situation for too long. She knew that if she did, she wouldn't be able to get up in the morning each day. So she shoved those negative thoughts to the back of her mind. Hearing comments from the people she passed taught Seirei that the red tents belogned to the Ruby Clan. It made sense, given the jewel theme she had discovered shortly after she'd been taken captive. Green tents represented the Emerald Clan, Purple tents represented the Amethyst Clan, and red ones were for the Ruby Clan...who were craftspeople as she herself was. The iridescent pearly white tents belonging to the healers were a part of this as well. Listening to people around you was a great way to learn things. Especially when they assumed that you didn't know their language. Seirei had spent enough time around the healing tents to have heard people mention the fact that many healers were part of the Opal Clan. Seirei made her way to the edge of the city where the trade caravans were located at a brisk pace. With the drought, there were far fewer caravans there than there had been when Seirei's caravan had come to Endrykas each fall when she was a child. But there were still several there. Although Seirei had grown up with a trade caravan, and she knew how things worked from that end, she had no experience on the end she currently found herself - that of the buyer rather than the seller. She knew exactly what she wanted, and what she could afford to offer in exchange. The question was how to get the best deal? The people of the caravans would be looking out for their own best interests, trying to get the best deal they could. Seirei needed to do the same. |